I recently posted a piece in which I posit the concept that rather than belonging to an ever expanding definition of psychopathy, there are individuals engaged in what we have heretofore believed to be aberrant human behavior who may be members of another species or a subspecies of human. That post explains the basis for the concept in detail. With this post I hope to share what I consider to be a very curious experience that I went through while in the process of trying to publish a novel that presents the concept in one possible light.
The book, titled Apex Predator, is about a man whose daughter's kidnapping and brutal murder pulls him into the fight of his life. While trying to understand the reasons for his daughter's murder Steven Loomis discovers the science that presents the possibility of a new species. After doing extensive research on the science and after speaking to some of its foremost experts, he makes a fateful decision. He shoots his daughter's murderer. While the world believes this to be an act of murder, he himself is at peace knowing that his main reason for doing it was nothing of the kind. He did it because he intended to claim as his defense that what he shot was not human and therefore he could not be convicted of murder. By doing so he know that the attention of the world's media would be focused on his incredible claim and on the science it was based upon. This is made even more compelling by the fact that he is a former member of SEAL Team six, which meant that if his reason was revenge, he could have done it without ever getting caught. As he is waiting for his trial, he is satisfied with what he's done, with bringing the world's attention to this very real and chilling threat.
There is another person also keenly interested in the trial and the case. Steven meets a neuroscientist and researcher whose efforts deal not with further exploration of the new species, but rather with its manipulation. Steven comes to understand that his man is in fact a member of Homo sapiens predaer or Homo predator, the new species. His aim is to locate other like him and to harness their nature to further his ultimate purpose, which is to bring a powerful group of these beings together. Politicians, captains of industry, media moguls are but a few of the places where he has located and brought a purpose to these beings. His latest project, a thirty-odd year old senior executive of a technology firm, was an awkward and introverted child and teen. He believed from the time he was very young that there was simply something wrong with him, that his inclinations and urges made him a monster, a freak. Upon getting a referral from the CEO of another large tech firm, he comes to the neuroscientist's office. After his first visit he knows he has found salvation, he was never a freak, the desires and inclinations he's had since childhood are not deviant of wrong, but simply the natural inclinations and desires of his species. He now knows he is a part of the new species, the new apex predators on the face of the earth. As the book ends, Steven realizes just how small and how inconsequential his own situation is. The neuroscientist explains that there are others out there, in places of great power and influence, all now aware of what they are, all hunting in their own way in their own hunting grounds.
I'm sorry for the lengthy description of the book, but I think it's germane to what I am about to share.
I don't know how many writers there are out there among the readers of this forum, I would imagine many, but I will give those of you that aren't a very brief (I promise) synopsis of the process of getting a book published. If you are thinking of writing a non-fiction book, you need to put together a proposal made up of a summary of the book, a TOC, a chapter summary and at least three sample chapters. So, for a non-fiction book you do not in fact have to have finished the book itself, the proposal is what you will send to agents and publishers. If you have written a novel, then you absolutely have to have the finished work.
If you intend on having your work published by a major publisher (Bantam, Simon and Schuster, etc.) then you have to have an agent. Unlike in the old days, they will not even look at your work without an agent. Trying to get a literary agent to pick you up as a client is, in my opinion, harder than trying to find a talent agent in Hollywood, far harder. In order to find one you must endure a draconian process that often lasts more than nine months. First you send out query letters which outline your novel and its merits. This entails sending dozens of query letters, all to be specific to the agent you are querying (Dear Agent queries are not even looked at). If you are lucky enough to get a nibble, you then have to send sample chapters if you're lucky, the entire manuscript if you're REALLY lucky. It is far more likely that your queries will yield responses like 'Not for us' or 'We wish you luck in your efforts' or the simple 'We are not open to submissions'. If you're luck you might actually get a note from an agent saying something like 'Selection is highly subjective, another agent might find a place for your work.' Weeks and months pass in between each of these steps and in the end less than 1% of submissions get picked up. You can also try to get your book published by a small publisher, but there the wait is even longer, if you're trying to publish a novel anyway. You send in your manuscript and then wait for at least three months before you get a reply (and you only get a reply if you've sent a SASE) otherwise their silence will be the loudest sign of their rejection. If you are successful in getting your book picked up, you can look forward to an advance of anywhere between $5K and $30K and you will most definitely be doing most of the marketing for you book yourself, if you want to have any sort of shot at sniffing the best-seller list in Anywhere, USA. Like I said it's harder that finding an agent in Hollywood and you need a thick skin if you hope to make your living writing novels.
Fortunately the publishing industry is going through a major evolution and self-publishing is an excellent option if you have a good idea and the dedication to make it fly. I chose to follow the traditional process. I figured that I would give it a shot and if I wasn't able to find an agent, I knew that self-publishing was a very viable option. For me self-publishing is far better than the option of trying to find a small publisher to do something I know I can do better. So, I went about sending my queries and got the requisite number of rejections back, but I also got a few nibbles. I sent the sample chapters to a couple and even the full manuscript to one. I once again waited for their reply counting the days and to my surprise and absolute joy one of them decided to represent the novel. We went through the process of drawing up a representation agreement and at that point I sent the full manuscript since this was one of the agents to whom I'd only sent six sample chapters. Based on my research and my conversations with other novelists or aspiring novelists, I believed I had made it. The agent would begin trying to place the book and once sold, I could look forward to finally realizing some money. This had never been an endeavor with money as the main driver, don't get me wrong I like a buck as much as the next guy, but seeing my novel published was the biggest reward for me. If the agent had told me he sold the book to Bantam for $20 and he was taking $5 I would have still thrown a huge party, pizzas and beer only, to be sure, but a huge party anyways. Alas, that is not what happened and it is here that the curious story begins. You can understand why I was so incredibly happy about getting picked up.
After having gone through this process, after sending the sample chapters and then the full novel and while getting ready to review the contract being put together by the agency I got a call, not from my agent, a senior agent at the agency, not even from his boss. No, I got a call from a senior VP at the agency. I must confess that it was the oddest call I think I have ever gotten in my whole life. So I'm at home, waiting for the contract when I get a call from this guy. He explains who he is and that he just wanted to speak with me. You can imagine my expression, I'm sure, pure puzzlement would be the most apt description. Don't get me wrong, I was overjoyed, a senior VP calling me! No doubt wanting to get a feel for their newest best-selling author! The conversation started predictably enough, 'how's the weather?' and is it hot out there in Dallas?'. After a few pleasantries I thought we would get down to business, you know, the book, its marketing, my fat advance, what color did I want my Porsche, that kind of thing. What I got instead was a series of questions that started as odd and ended up being down right weird. Things like 'Where did I get the idea for the book' and 'Where did I read about the science that I use in the book' and it wasn't only where did I get the science, he wanted specific names and the institutions where they worked or taught. He then asked whether I personally knew anyone who might be a part of the 'supposed new species' and he wanted to know whether I was afraid that people might think I was crazy for mentioning this science and claiming that there were people in positions of great power who were in fact a part of it. He wanted to know how many agents I'd contacted before and how many had asked for sample writing. At this point I thought I might head off additional such questions by letting him know that while the science I used was solid and vetted out with the proper experts, the novel was in fact a work of fiction and not representative of any actual events. He responded with some frustration that 'he damn well knew it was fiction, for God's sake' but that even fiction could offend if not properly presented. It was that reason which he gave as the reason for his call and his questions.
I must confess and say that I had never before had a conversation with such a senior executive in the publishing industry. I've had plenty with senior executives, but never in publishing. There was the possibility that this was just a part of the process in publishing, senior management vetting out one of their newest writers, feeling them out and playing devil's advocate, a very remote possibility, but a possibility nonetheless. I have gone over that first conversation a hundred times and what I have concluded is that what made it so incredibly weird was partly what he was saying, but mostly how he was saying it. It wasn't a professional or perhaps even detached tone, it was an agitated tone, a tone of discomfort in the topic and of almost desperation. I got the distinct impression that whatever he had been expecting to get from our conversation was simply not materializing. I tried to change the subject by mentioning that I was a fan of some of their authors and that it was their representation of those authors that had prompted me to query. He mumbled something I didn't understand and then began with the questions again. Now he wanted to know what the agent had told me, whether he had made any representations to me. I was about to let him know that the agent had agreed to represent me and that a contract was being drafted to that effect. He became agitated and tripped all over himself letting me know that an agent did NOT have the power to make such representations, that all potential client agreements had to be put to the committee. He never said who made up the committee or what they did and I sure was not going to ask him. Anyway, he finished the call by telling me that a lot of this might be resolved if I would provide the names of my experts and any other resources that I might have used. I explained, once again, that it was fiction and that while I definitely based the book on real science and research being done, I had assured the people that had been kind enough to help me that I would not trouble them again and that their name would not be used in the publishing or promotion of the book, unless they wanted it to be. He wrapped up the call very abruptly letting me know that the agent I had been in contact with would call me later in the week. No surprisingly, later in the week the agent called to let me know that he was sorry, that he'd made a miscalculation and that they were overcommitted as it was. Like with his boss, it wasn't what he'd said, but how he said it that really weirded me out. He sounded sheepish, apologetic and he made some comments that let me know he also was a bit weirded out with the whole thing and that he was confused by what had happened. I'd spoken to this guy a few times before and he NEVER sounded at all like he sounded now.
I was honestly stunned. I thought that I was set, that I had an agent and now here I was back where I started. I was also very confused. I had written and sold two non-fiction books prior to this, so I was well-versed in dealing with a publisher and with the process of submitting, queries, etc. I knew that trying to publish fiction was different, but I didn't know it was THIS different. So I started the process all over again. Sending queries to the winds and contacting the other agents that had asked for samples and for the manuscript. At the same time I had to get a sense of what the fiction publishing process was like. I had to find out if what I'd gone through was typical. I didn't think so, but I had to ask someone who knew, someone who'd gone through the process from beginning to end. The problem with that was that I didn't know anyone like that. I knew plenty of people that had gone through the process of self-publishing, but nobody who had been picked up by an agent and had their work published and marketed. I looked high and low, but it was incredibly difficult finding an author of fiction who had in fact gone through the process from beginning to end. I looked everywhere I could think of, MENSA membership, people I knew in various boards, friends of friends, everywhere. I was able to find six authors through those sources and two at a writers' conference. To a one they'd never heard of such thing. They all confirmed what I believed, that once your samples had been read and the agent had agreed to represent you it was done. None had gone through any sort of a further vetting or interview, most had never even spoken to senior executives at any agency. They all also qualified their answers by saying that many agents and agencies, especially 'old-school' agents and agencies, could be an eccentric lot and that they wouldn't be surprised if all authors represented by that agency had gone through the same thing. The conversations helped to put this out of my mind, which was great because I needed to get back to work finding an agent to publish the novel and to starting the writing of the second novel in what I call the Apex Predator series.
One of the other agents that had asked to see sample chapters contacted and after three calls agreed to represent me. Again I was elated, I was back on track and could put the whole weird episode behind me. I sent him the entire manuscript and he told me our next conversation would also include the editor that had been selected to work with me. He said we would be going over some issues that they thought might be resolved with a reorganization of the narrative and by laying out a better foundation for a couple of the characters. Now I really thought I was in business. This was precisely what I thought the process would be. We would go back and forth discussing the book, making revisions as agreed and sharpening the work to a fine point. You can imagine my absolute shock when on the next call the agent told me that there had been some internal changes and that unfortunately they would have to pass on the book. I was speechless and didn't really know what to ask anyway. Now I'm sure everyone reading this has had the occasion to be on the phone with someone with whom they have spoken numerous times and to know that the person they are speaking with is under stress or otherwise uncomfortable. It isn't what they say as much as the hums and ahms during the conversation. Odd pauses, stammering, pitch, tone, fluidity are all things that establish a speech pattern. I'm not anything like an expert in interrogation techniques or speech pattern recognition, but I venture to guess that even the most uninformed neophyte would be able to tell when changes in these things occur, especially when it's someone with whom they have spoken numerous times. Aside from the deep depression at once again having almost had the gold ring in my grasp, I was also now really curious and, I have to confess, angry. What the hell was going on? Granted I was no expert in the process, but I now knew it wasn't something that any author had experienced before, at least none of the ones I had spoken to.
I won't bore you with the last incident where something similar to this happened. Suffice it to say it was very near to what I'd gone through before. I was now in full speculation mode. Had the first executive contacted others in the industry? Was there some automated system that flagged specific words or elements in the manuscript? Was there something in the book that I had overlooked and that was very insulting or inappropriate? There was absolutely no way for me to be certain about any of these things, except the issues with the manuscript itself. As any author will attest, we go over our work dozens and dozens of time once we finish it. We search for inconsistencies and errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc. As almost every author will also attest to, we almost always miss something, even when we've gone through it a hundred times there is no one I know of that has caught every single error in their work. That is why before your book goes to print it MUST be copy-edited at the very least, preferably at least three times. It is also the reason why editing is by far the largest expense in the self-publishing process. A book like mine, about 500 pages in length at 6x9, runs anywhere between $2500 and $5000 for copy-editing and from $7500 to $10,000 for content-editing. This is why finding an agent and/or publisher is so great, they cover all of these expenses, cover art, reviews, etc. A
Anyway, I've gone through the book about 70 times trying to catch typos, spelling, etc. and while I KNOW there are still these types of mistakes in the book, I also KNOW there's nothing in the book that I would consider inappropriate. Yes, there are a few strong scenes, it is about human predators after all and yes, there is most definitely strong language, having two NYPD detectives using things like 'gosh darn it' and 'the scum bucket' would have sounded pretty lame, but there was nothing I could find that was so offensive that the book would get rejected. Moreover, whatever elements might have been unacceptable could surely be corrected. It wasn't necessary to kill the whole novel because of them. That's if there had been any such errors, but I knew there weren't. I had shared the book in various iterations, even with some of the experts who so kindly agreed to read it, and while most people loved it, there were a few who shared that it wasn't their cup of tea or who thought there was a better way to convey certain ideas. There were also some that thought it was awful, who thought that like most other commercial dribble, it pandered to the most simple minds. All of that is a part of being a novelist. If you're not prepared to get hammered for your work then you better find another line of work. Still, when I asked all those who had read the book if there was anything within it that they might consider fatal as far as being too offensive or too controversial for publication. Not one thought there was anything like that in the book. Some wondered whether there was anything to the science and thought it was a bit far-fetched, but offensive? Absolutely not.
So I was confused, discouraged and yes, very upset about all of this. I had begun exploring my options for self-publishing when I started querying agents, but I'd abandoned my efforts when I finally found an agent. Now I would have to figure our what I was going to once again. Now you might be thinking to yourself 'what's the bid deal? whatever was the case before would still be the case', but when it comes to publishing a few months could make a big difference. Actually a few weeks could make a big difference. I was trying to figure out what to do when I got a notice from the IRS. I was going to be audited! That might not seem weird to you, but I found it strange that it was not for the current tax year, but for 2009! So all of a sudden publishing my book was the furthest thing from my mind. Receipts, Excel worksheets, cancelled checks was more like it. I was in the process of putting all the stuff I needed into some kind of order when I got a call letting me know that the conference that I was scheduled to present at, a conference and presentation that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the subject of the book, was going to have to reshuffle the schedule and that unfortunately my slot was going to be in conflict with their new schedule. I asked if there was a reason that it could not be fit into another slot as I was sure some of the other presenters would be. She hesitated and told me she didn't know, but she'd be happy to inquire. She called me the next day and explained that the other speakers were coming from much farther than I would be and that they would incur very steep travel expenses if they were cancelled. I thanked her for checking and hung the phone up. I'm sure, once again, that everyone reading this has had a run of bad luck where you're left thinking 'What's next? Asteroid on my head? Super-volcano under my feet? What?' and that's exactly how I was feeling.
The Sunday of the weekend when most of this happened I decided to have a few friends over for some burgers. I was sitting in my back patio with a friend, drinking a beer and letting the burgers and hot dogs settle, when he jokingly said something that really struck me. After taking a long pull of his Fat Tire he said 'Damn man, maybe you hit a little to close to home with someone'. It was meant as a joke and honestly at the time I took it as a joke, but I thought about it for the remainder of that day and the days to follow. Up to that point I had never made any association between the book and any of the other things that happened to me. I have to be completely candid and say that up to that point I had been not only a skeptic of alternative news, conspiracy theories, paranormal events, etc., but a pretty vocal critic of all of those things. When he said what he said, I laughed and told him if I was a paranoid or a conspiracy theorist I might be in an underground bunker right now. But the more I thought about it, the more I had to face the fact that it was very weird timing for all of this. I was especially puzzled by the audit. There was absolutely nothing odd about my 2009 return, no strange deductions or other tax avoidance mechanisms, so why they'd pick 2009 was a mystery to me. I was also a bit curious about the conference. I'd spoken at that same conference as well as others a number of times over the years and there had been a few times when my presentation or lecture was moved because of scheduling issues, but it had never been cancelled. I want to be absolutely and positively clear when I say that there is absolutely NOTHING that I can produce by way of evidence that any of this is in any way connected.
For those of you that might wish to reply with 'Everyone has bad luck every now and then' or 'There is such thing as coincidence' I say save it. I have said those and a lot of other things to myself many, many times over the period of time that they took place. I have even asked a friend of mine who is an associate professor on math and statistic to give me his best guesstimate of the odds of something like this happening. He took all the variables, all those that could be quantified anyway, and came back with some pretty logical odds. He's obviously much better equipped to explain them than I am so I'll use his explanation verbatim 'All these things happening to you in the time period that they did have the same odds as a piece of hail hitting someone in the head and killing them and the same odds as your head being injured riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet'. I don't know where the hail thing comes from and I didn't ask, but the motorcycle thing made it tangible for me. In short, it's unlikely to happen, but not overly so. Statistically it is in no way, not even close, to being outside of what he considered 'normal' odds. So, now I knew that it was just as if not more likely that this was a coincidence as it was that it was something else. I knew that even before he ran the statistics, it was the clearly logical position to take, what made sense. And yet, I got a very strange feeling about all of it. This is the first time in my 46 years of life where I could clearly discern between what made logical sense and a completely irrational and unsupported feeling in my gut. I now know what detectives mean when they say they have a 'hunch' or a 'gut instinct'. To this day I don't quite understand what it was that was making the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. This was all completely foreign to me, so I needed to make sure that it wasn't simply a case of an author being blinded by a love for their novel, their baby. I have always been hypersensitive to that phenomenon, so I accept negative comments just like I accept positive ones. I thought about it and I quickly came to the conclusion that this was not the case here. I'd shared the novel with about 75 people, friends, family, other authors of fiction and non-fiction from a number of sources
The point is that they did and given that it was a completely new feeling for me, I decided to do some research on alternative news, the NWO, shadow governments, etc. I have to be honest and say I had absolutely NO IDEA that there were that many sites out there, that much information and various posts about these and other topics. Granted, most of what I found was nonsense and paranoid drivel without a shred of serious support. I came across STT and Cassiopaea through this research. I also came across other great sites that also explore alternative viewpoints and ideas. This entire process has truly opened my eyes to a completely new world, a world where people are not in any way shy about presenting their ideas and their perspectives in an intelligent and learned manner. It is an absolute shame that there are people like Alex Jones out there screaming about conspiracies and a shadow government. People like that was the reason I never explored anything beyond what I would consider to the traditional sources of ideas and points of view. People like that make the majority of us look and say 'That's what those people are like' and sources like this site as well as STT and others continue to fly under the radar and the ideas and perpectives found there are discounted as being a part of the same kind of drivel that Jones puts on air every single day. I am immensely thankful for all the great information I've been able to obtain by reading the posts in the forum and for the replies I have gotten on what I have written. Whether you agree with what I write or not, all the comments are thoughtful and articulate. I joined MENSA 10 years ago to try to engage in discussion and sharing of ideas among people who had an interesting point of view and who could communicate it effectively, but it did not end up being what I believed it would be, this site is much closer to that.
I would greatly appreciate any insights from people that may have gone through a similar situation and who might have some advice. As of today, another agent, one with a smaller literary agency, has the full manuscript and is reviewing it. In the meantime I have taken the book to where it needs to be prior to publishing, although I have not yet invested in having it copy edited. I will hold off on that investment until I hear from the agent. I have already developed a cover, so that is literally the only thing the book needs before its publication. If you would like to get the digital version of the book, please send me an email to (email removed for privacy) and I will be happy to send it to you. The only thing I would ask is a line with your thoughts on the book. Getting comments from 'regular' people is one thing, but those that populate this forum are a much more informed and open audience and I would greatly appreciate whatever input you'd be willing to afford me, particularly about the science and about the core concept.
The book, titled Apex Predator, is about a man whose daughter's kidnapping and brutal murder pulls him into the fight of his life. While trying to understand the reasons for his daughter's murder Steven Loomis discovers the science that presents the possibility of a new species. After doing extensive research on the science and after speaking to some of its foremost experts, he makes a fateful decision. He shoots his daughter's murderer. While the world believes this to be an act of murder, he himself is at peace knowing that his main reason for doing it was nothing of the kind. He did it because he intended to claim as his defense that what he shot was not human and therefore he could not be convicted of murder. By doing so he know that the attention of the world's media would be focused on his incredible claim and on the science it was based upon. This is made even more compelling by the fact that he is a former member of SEAL Team six, which meant that if his reason was revenge, he could have done it without ever getting caught. As he is waiting for his trial, he is satisfied with what he's done, with bringing the world's attention to this very real and chilling threat.
There is another person also keenly interested in the trial and the case. Steven meets a neuroscientist and researcher whose efforts deal not with further exploration of the new species, but rather with its manipulation. Steven comes to understand that his man is in fact a member of Homo sapiens predaer or Homo predator, the new species. His aim is to locate other like him and to harness their nature to further his ultimate purpose, which is to bring a powerful group of these beings together. Politicians, captains of industry, media moguls are but a few of the places where he has located and brought a purpose to these beings. His latest project, a thirty-odd year old senior executive of a technology firm, was an awkward and introverted child and teen. He believed from the time he was very young that there was simply something wrong with him, that his inclinations and urges made him a monster, a freak. Upon getting a referral from the CEO of another large tech firm, he comes to the neuroscientist's office. After his first visit he knows he has found salvation, he was never a freak, the desires and inclinations he's had since childhood are not deviant of wrong, but simply the natural inclinations and desires of his species. He now knows he is a part of the new species, the new apex predators on the face of the earth. As the book ends, Steven realizes just how small and how inconsequential his own situation is. The neuroscientist explains that there are others out there, in places of great power and influence, all now aware of what they are, all hunting in their own way in their own hunting grounds.
I'm sorry for the lengthy description of the book, but I think it's germane to what I am about to share.
I don't know how many writers there are out there among the readers of this forum, I would imagine many, but I will give those of you that aren't a very brief (I promise) synopsis of the process of getting a book published. If you are thinking of writing a non-fiction book, you need to put together a proposal made up of a summary of the book, a TOC, a chapter summary and at least three sample chapters. So, for a non-fiction book you do not in fact have to have finished the book itself, the proposal is what you will send to agents and publishers. If you have written a novel, then you absolutely have to have the finished work.
If you intend on having your work published by a major publisher (Bantam, Simon and Schuster, etc.) then you have to have an agent. Unlike in the old days, they will not even look at your work without an agent. Trying to get a literary agent to pick you up as a client is, in my opinion, harder than trying to find a talent agent in Hollywood, far harder. In order to find one you must endure a draconian process that often lasts more than nine months. First you send out query letters which outline your novel and its merits. This entails sending dozens of query letters, all to be specific to the agent you are querying (Dear Agent queries are not even looked at). If you are lucky enough to get a nibble, you then have to send sample chapters if you're lucky, the entire manuscript if you're REALLY lucky. It is far more likely that your queries will yield responses like 'Not for us' or 'We wish you luck in your efforts' or the simple 'We are not open to submissions'. If you're luck you might actually get a note from an agent saying something like 'Selection is highly subjective, another agent might find a place for your work.' Weeks and months pass in between each of these steps and in the end less than 1% of submissions get picked up. You can also try to get your book published by a small publisher, but there the wait is even longer, if you're trying to publish a novel anyway. You send in your manuscript and then wait for at least three months before you get a reply (and you only get a reply if you've sent a SASE) otherwise their silence will be the loudest sign of their rejection. If you are successful in getting your book picked up, you can look forward to an advance of anywhere between $5K and $30K and you will most definitely be doing most of the marketing for you book yourself, if you want to have any sort of shot at sniffing the best-seller list in Anywhere, USA. Like I said it's harder that finding an agent in Hollywood and you need a thick skin if you hope to make your living writing novels.
Fortunately the publishing industry is going through a major evolution and self-publishing is an excellent option if you have a good idea and the dedication to make it fly. I chose to follow the traditional process. I figured that I would give it a shot and if I wasn't able to find an agent, I knew that self-publishing was a very viable option. For me self-publishing is far better than the option of trying to find a small publisher to do something I know I can do better. So, I went about sending my queries and got the requisite number of rejections back, but I also got a few nibbles. I sent the sample chapters to a couple and even the full manuscript to one. I once again waited for their reply counting the days and to my surprise and absolute joy one of them decided to represent the novel. We went through the process of drawing up a representation agreement and at that point I sent the full manuscript since this was one of the agents to whom I'd only sent six sample chapters. Based on my research and my conversations with other novelists or aspiring novelists, I believed I had made it. The agent would begin trying to place the book and once sold, I could look forward to finally realizing some money. This had never been an endeavor with money as the main driver, don't get me wrong I like a buck as much as the next guy, but seeing my novel published was the biggest reward for me. If the agent had told me he sold the book to Bantam for $20 and he was taking $5 I would have still thrown a huge party, pizzas and beer only, to be sure, but a huge party anyways. Alas, that is not what happened and it is here that the curious story begins. You can understand why I was so incredibly happy about getting picked up.
After having gone through this process, after sending the sample chapters and then the full novel and while getting ready to review the contract being put together by the agency I got a call, not from my agent, a senior agent at the agency, not even from his boss. No, I got a call from a senior VP at the agency. I must confess that it was the oddest call I think I have ever gotten in my whole life. So I'm at home, waiting for the contract when I get a call from this guy. He explains who he is and that he just wanted to speak with me. You can imagine my expression, I'm sure, pure puzzlement would be the most apt description. Don't get me wrong, I was overjoyed, a senior VP calling me! No doubt wanting to get a feel for their newest best-selling author! The conversation started predictably enough, 'how's the weather?' and is it hot out there in Dallas?'. After a few pleasantries I thought we would get down to business, you know, the book, its marketing, my fat advance, what color did I want my Porsche, that kind of thing. What I got instead was a series of questions that started as odd and ended up being down right weird. Things like 'Where did I get the idea for the book' and 'Where did I read about the science that I use in the book' and it wasn't only where did I get the science, he wanted specific names and the institutions where they worked or taught. He then asked whether I personally knew anyone who might be a part of the 'supposed new species' and he wanted to know whether I was afraid that people might think I was crazy for mentioning this science and claiming that there were people in positions of great power who were in fact a part of it. He wanted to know how many agents I'd contacted before and how many had asked for sample writing. At this point I thought I might head off additional such questions by letting him know that while the science I used was solid and vetted out with the proper experts, the novel was in fact a work of fiction and not representative of any actual events. He responded with some frustration that 'he damn well knew it was fiction, for God's sake' but that even fiction could offend if not properly presented. It was that reason which he gave as the reason for his call and his questions.
I must confess and say that I had never before had a conversation with such a senior executive in the publishing industry. I've had plenty with senior executives, but never in publishing. There was the possibility that this was just a part of the process in publishing, senior management vetting out one of their newest writers, feeling them out and playing devil's advocate, a very remote possibility, but a possibility nonetheless. I have gone over that first conversation a hundred times and what I have concluded is that what made it so incredibly weird was partly what he was saying, but mostly how he was saying it. It wasn't a professional or perhaps even detached tone, it was an agitated tone, a tone of discomfort in the topic and of almost desperation. I got the distinct impression that whatever he had been expecting to get from our conversation was simply not materializing. I tried to change the subject by mentioning that I was a fan of some of their authors and that it was their representation of those authors that had prompted me to query. He mumbled something I didn't understand and then began with the questions again. Now he wanted to know what the agent had told me, whether he had made any representations to me. I was about to let him know that the agent had agreed to represent me and that a contract was being drafted to that effect. He became agitated and tripped all over himself letting me know that an agent did NOT have the power to make such representations, that all potential client agreements had to be put to the committee. He never said who made up the committee or what they did and I sure was not going to ask him. Anyway, he finished the call by telling me that a lot of this might be resolved if I would provide the names of my experts and any other resources that I might have used. I explained, once again, that it was fiction and that while I definitely based the book on real science and research being done, I had assured the people that had been kind enough to help me that I would not trouble them again and that their name would not be used in the publishing or promotion of the book, unless they wanted it to be. He wrapped up the call very abruptly letting me know that the agent I had been in contact with would call me later in the week. No surprisingly, later in the week the agent called to let me know that he was sorry, that he'd made a miscalculation and that they were overcommitted as it was. Like with his boss, it wasn't what he'd said, but how he said it that really weirded me out. He sounded sheepish, apologetic and he made some comments that let me know he also was a bit weirded out with the whole thing and that he was confused by what had happened. I'd spoken to this guy a few times before and he NEVER sounded at all like he sounded now.
I was honestly stunned. I thought that I was set, that I had an agent and now here I was back where I started. I was also very confused. I had written and sold two non-fiction books prior to this, so I was well-versed in dealing with a publisher and with the process of submitting, queries, etc. I knew that trying to publish fiction was different, but I didn't know it was THIS different. So I started the process all over again. Sending queries to the winds and contacting the other agents that had asked for samples and for the manuscript. At the same time I had to get a sense of what the fiction publishing process was like. I had to find out if what I'd gone through was typical. I didn't think so, but I had to ask someone who knew, someone who'd gone through the process from beginning to end. The problem with that was that I didn't know anyone like that. I knew plenty of people that had gone through the process of self-publishing, but nobody who had been picked up by an agent and had their work published and marketed. I looked high and low, but it was incredibly difficult finding an author of fiction who had in fact gone through the process from beginning to end. I looked everywhere I could think of, MENSA membership, people I knew in various boards, friends of friends, everywhere. I was able to find six authors through those sources and two at a writers' conference. To a one they'd never heard of such thing. They all confirmed what I believed, that once your samples had been read and the agent had agreed to represent you it was done. None had gone through any sort of a further vetting or interview, most had never even spoken to senior executives at any agency. They all also qualified their answers by saying that many agents and agencies, especially 'old-school' agents and agencies, could be an eccentric lot and that they wouldn't be surprised if all authors represented by that agency had gone through the same thing. The conversations helped to put this out of my mind, which was great because I needed to get back to work finding an agent to publish the novel and to starting the writing of the second novel in what I call the Apex Predator series.
One of the other agents that had asked to see sample chapters contacted and after three calls agreed to represent me. Again I was elated, I was back on track and could put the whole weird episode behind me. I sent him the entire manuscript and he told me our next conversation would also include the editor that had been selected to work with me. He said we would be going over some issues that they thought might be resolved with a reorganization of the narrative and by laying out a better foundation for a couple of the characters. Now I really thought I was in business. This was precisely what I thought the process would be. We would go back and forth discussing the book, making revisions as agreed and sharpening the work to a fine point. You can imagine my absolute shock when on the next call the agent told me that there had been some internal changes and that unfortunately they would have to pass on the book. I was speechless and didn't really know what to ask anyway. Now I'm sure everyone reading this has had the occasion to be on the phone with someone with whom they have spoken numerous times and to know that the person they are speaking with is under stress or otherwise uncomfortable. It isn't what they say as much as the hums and ahms during the conversation. Odd pauses, stammering, pitch, tone, fluidity are all things that establish a speech pattern. I'm not anything like an expert in interrogation techniques or speech pattern recognition, but I venture to guess that even the most uninformed neophyte would be able to tell when changes in these things occur, especially when it's someone with whom they have spoken numerous times. Aside from the deep depression at once again having almost had the gold ring in my grasp, I was also now really curious and, I have to confess, angry. What the hell was going on? Granted I was no expert in the process, but I now knew it wasn't something that any author had experienced before, at least none of the ones I had spoken to.
I won't bore you with the last incident where something similar to this happened. Suffice it to say it was very near to what I'd gone through before. I was now in full speculation mode. Had the first executive contacted others in the industry? Was there some automated system that flagged specific words or elements in the manuscript? Was there something in the book that I had overlooked and that was very insulting or inappropriate? There was absolutely no way for me to be certain about any of these things, except the issues with the manuscript itself. As any author will attest, we go over our work dozens and dozens of time once we finish it. We search for inconsistencies and errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc. As almost every author will also attest to, we almost always miss something, even when we've gone through it a hundred times there is no one I know of that has caught every single error in their work. That is why before your book goes to print it MUST be copy-edited at the very least, preferably at least three times. It is also the reason why editing is by far the largest expense in the self-publishing process. A book like mine, about 500 pages in length at 6x9, runs anywhere between $2500 and $5000 for copy-editing and from $7500 to $10,000 for content-editing. This is why finding an agent and/or publisher is so great, they cover all of these expenses, cover art, reviews, etc. A
Anyway, I've gone through the book about 70 times trying to catch typos, spelling, etc. and while I KNOW there are still these types of mistakes in the book, I also KNOW there's nothing in the book that I would consider inappropriate. Yes, there are a few strong scenes, it is about human predators after all and yes, there is most definitely strong language, having two NYPD detectives using things like 'gosh darn it' and 'the scum bucket' would have sounded pretty lame, but there was nothing I could find that was so offensive that the book would get rejected. Moreover, whatever elements might have been unacceptable could surely be corrected. It wasn't necessary to kill the whole novel because of them. That's if there had been any such errors, but I knew there weren't. I had shared the book in various iterations, even with some of the experts who so kindly agreed to read it, and while most people loved it, there were a few who shared that it wasn't their cup of tea or who thought there was a better way to convey certain ideas. There were also some that thought it was awful, who thought that like most other commercial dribble, it pandered to the most simple minds. All of that is a part of being a novelist. If you're not prepared to get hammered for your work then you better find another line of work. Still, when I asked all those who had read the book if there was anything within it that they might consider fatal as far as being too offensive or too controversial for publication. Not one thought there was anything like that in the book. Some wondered whether there was anything to the science and thought it was a bit far-fetched, but offensive? Absolutely not.
So I was confused, discouraged and yes, very upset about all of this. I had begun exploring my options for self-publishing when I started querying agents, but I'd abandoned my efforts when I finally found an agent. Now I would have to figure our what I was going to once again. Now you might be thinking to yourself 'what's the bid deal? whatever was the case before would still be the case', but when it comes to publishing a few months could make a big difference. Actually a few weeks could make a big difference. I was trying to figure out what to do when I got a notice from the IRS. I was going to be audited! That might not seem weird to you, but I found it strange that it was not for the current tax year, but for 2009! So all of a sudden publishing my book was the furthest thing from my mind. Receipts, Excel worksheets, cancelled checks was more like it. I was in the process of putting all the stuff I needed into some kind of order when I got a call letting me know that the conference that I was scheduled to present at, a conference and presentation that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the subject of the book, was going to have to reshuffle the schedule and that unfortunately my slot was going to be in conflict with their new schedule. I asked if there was a reason that it could not be fit into another slot as I was sure some of the other presenters would be. She hesitated and told me she didn't know, but she'd be happy to inquire. She called me the next day and explained that the other speakers were coming from much farther than I would be and that they would incur very steep travel expenses if they were cancelled. I thanked her for checking and hung the phone up. I'm sure, once again, that everyone reading this has had a run of bad luck where you're left thinking 'What's next? Asteroid on my head? Super-volcano under my feet? What?' and that's exactly how I was feeling.
The Sunday of the weekend when most of this happened I decided to have a few friends over for some burgers. I was sitting in my back patio with a friend, drinking a beer and letting the burgers and hot dogs settle, when he jokingly said something that really struck me. After taking a long pull of his Fat Tire he said 'Damn man, maybe you hit a little to close to home with someone'. It was meant as a joke and honestly at the time I took it as a joke, but I thought about it for the remainder of that day and the days to follow. Up to that point I had never made any association between the book and any of the other things that happened to me. I have to be completely candid and say that up to that point I had been not only a skeptic of alternative news, conspiracy theories, paranormal events, etc., but a pretty vocal critic of all of those things. When he said what he said, I laughed and told him if I was a paranoid or a conspiracy theorist I might be in an underground bunker right now. But the more I thought about it, the more I had to face the fact that it was very weird timing for all of this. I was especially puzzled by the audit. There was absolutely nothing odd about my 2009 return, no strange deductions or other tax avoidance mechanisms, so why they'd pick 2009 was a mystery to me. I was also a bit curious about the conference. I'd spoken at that same conference as well as others a number of times over the years and there had been a few times when my presentation or lecture was moved because of scheduling issues, but it had never been cancelled. I want to be absolutely and positively clear when I say that there is absolutely NOTHING that I can produce by way of evidence that any of this is in any way connected.
For those of you that might wish to reply with 'Everyone has bad luck every now and then' or 'There is such thing as coincidence' I say save it. I have said those and a lot of other things to myself many, many times over the period of time that they took place. I have even asked a friend of mine who is an associate professor on math and statistic to give me his best guesstimate of the odds of something like this happening. He took all the variables, all those that could be quantified anyway, and came back with some pretty logical odds. He's obviously much better equipped to explain them than I am so I'll use his explanation verbatim 'All these things happening to you in the time period that they did have the same odds as a piece of hail hitting someone in the head and killing them and the same odds as your head being injured riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet'. I don't know where the hail thing comes from and I didn't ask, but the motorcycle thing made it tangible for me. In short, it's unlikely to happen, but not overly so. Statistically it is in no way, not even close, to being outside of what he considered 'normal' odds. So, now I knew that it was just as if not more likely that this was a coincidence as it was that it was something else. I knew that even before he ran the statistics, it was the clearly logical position to take, what made sense. And yet, I got a very strange feeling about all of it. This is the first time in my 46 years of life where I could clearly discern between what made logical sense and a completely irrational and unsupported feeling in my gut. I now know what detectives mean when they say they have a 'hunch' or a 'gut instinct'. To this day I don't quite understand what it was that was making the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. This was all completely foreign to me, so I needed to make sure that it wasn't simply a case of an author being blinded by a love for their novel, their baby. I have always been hypersensitive to that phenomenon, so I accept negative comments just like I accept positive ones. I thought about it and I quickly came to the conclusion that this was not the case here. I'd shared the novel with about 75 people, friends, family, other authors of fiction and non-fiction from a number of sources
The point is that they did and given that it was a completely new feeling for me, I decided to do some research on alternative news, the NWO, shadow governments, etc. I have to be honest and say I had absolutely NO IDEA that there were that many sites out there, that much information and various posts about these and other topics. Granted, most of what I found was nonsense and paranoid drivel without a shred of serious support. I came across STT and Cassiopaea through this research. I also came across other great sites that also explore alternative viewpoints and ideas. This entire process has truly opened my eyes to a completely new world, a world where people are not in any way shy about presenting their ideas and their perspectives in an intelligent and learned manner. It is an absolute shame that there are people like Alex Jones out there screaming about conspiracies and a shadow government. People like that was the reason I never explored anything beyond what I would consider to the traditional sources of ideas and points of view. People like that make the majority of us look and say 'That's what those people are like' and sources like this site as well as STT and others continue to fly under the radar and the ideas and perpectives found there are discounted as being a part of the same kind of drivel that Jones puts on air every single day. I am immensely thankful for all the great information I've been able to obtain by reading the posts in the forum and for the replies I have gotten on what I have written. Whether you agree with what I write or not, all the comments are thoughtful and articulate. I joined MENSA 10 years ago to try to engage in discussion and sharing of ideas among people who had an interesting point of view and who could communicate it effectively, but it did not end up being what I believed it would be, this site is much closer to that.
I would greatly appreciate any insights from people that may have gone through a similar situation and who might have some advice. As of today, another agent, one with a smaller literary agency, has the full manuscript and is reviewing it. In the meantime I have taken the book to where it needs to be prior to publishing, although I have not yet invested in having it copy edited. I will hold off on that investment until I hear from the agent. I have already developed a cover, so that is literally the only thing the book needs before its publication. If you would like to get the digital version of the book, please send me an email to (email removed for privacy) and I will be happy to send it to you. The only thing I would ask is a line with your thoughts on the book. Getting comments from 'regular' people is one thing, but those that populate this forum are a much more informed and open audience and I would greatly appreciate whatever input you'd be willing to afford me, particularly about the science and about the core concept.
