unhappy and unsettled

blackrain

The Force is Strong With This One
Hi,dont know who will get this cant get my head around the forum but i need some advice. Not happy at the mo have read the wave. I have know this all to be true at an early age very unhappy , having dreams about alien control and past lives. Am an advanced hypnotherapist and reiki master and have been a senior lecturer in Organisational Behaviour. I, since my 5 year encounter with a narcist have had a life in the abyss; he totally ruined me and the problems that I have had to pick up with my three kids are extraordinary. i cannot accept any media interaction anymore nor can I accept just going to meditation where I WAS TOLD IF i MEDIATATE I will have a virtuous mind!!!! Completely unsettled and even more picking up on energies that interfere with my normal life.Thanks for reading this
 

Nawd

Dagobah Resident
Welcome to the forum.
Quick question: Is English your first language?

blackrain said:
Hi,dont know who will get this cant get my head around the forum but i need some advice. Not happy at the mo have read the wave. I have know this all to be true at an early age very unhappy , having dreams about alien control and past lives. Am an advanced hypnotherapist and reiki master and have been a senior lecturer in Organisational Behaviour. I, since my 5 year encounter with a narcist have had a life in the abyss; he totally ruined me and the problems that I have had to pick up with my three kids are extraordinary. i cannot accept any media interaction anymore nor can I accept just going to meditation where I WAS TOLD IF i MEDIATATE I will have a virtuous mind!!!! Completely unsettled and even more picking up on energies that interfere with my normal life.Thanks for reading this

Update: Did a search on your name. You perhaps are very emotional. I'll leave this question up to someone more versed in psychology.
 

henry

The Living Force
Hi Black Rain,

You are not alone is having had your life turned upside down by a narcissist. You're not crazy. It happens to far too many women. There are many discussions of similar cases elsewhere on the forum. If you do a search on the forum for 'narcissism', you'll find a wealth of information to help you.

There are two excellent books by Sandra Brown that deal with the dynamics of women and pathological men: How To Spot A Dangerous Man, and Women Who Love Psychopaths. Sandra also has a website http://saferelationships.com/ with a lot of information. These books will help you come to terms with what you have been put through by the narcissist in your life.

We also have a breathing programme that may well help you to process the emotions you have stored up from that experience, and the benefits can come very quickly. I know that you have been told by others that you could go into meditation to get a 'virtuous mind'. The Éiriú Eolas breathing programme doesn't make such grandiose claims, but it will help you get a much better handle on your emotions and the roller coaster of daily life. You can download the entire programme for free here.

And I can say that based on my own experience with it.

You can find out more about the EE exercises on this thread here.

If you would like to write in more detail about your experiences, we would be happy to listen.
 

Helle

Jedi Master
Hi Blackrain!

Sounds like you had your share of difficulties.

I'd just like to say, like Galahad, that if you're up for it, try sharing some of it here. Sometimes getting it out helps to better deal with it.


Helle.
 

blackrain

The Force is Strong With This One
Thank you :D I just had a bit of a blip last night am ok really !!! I have read many books on the subject of narcism and believe myself to be an expert on them but here in England there are no support groups etc probably because it is not really recognised as a 'proper' personality disorder!! I no longer have contact with that man so he does not have his narcissist fix from me, however and bizarrely, one of the women he was cheating on me with has struck up a friendship with me via facebook!!! I think i blipped because I don't really know anyone else who has been through the kind of experience I have had. These men/women are very clever at making themselves out to be the injured party and I am known in his circles as the 'mad' one. I just wanted to say thank you again i will take all your advice and its reasurring to know I can say how I feel on here!! Thanks again
 

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
I've said before, and it bears repeating, I think that real narcissists - the personality disordered type, not just ordinary people who have been wounded and behave narcissistically - are just non-criminal psychopaths. So, maybe researching and reading up on psychopathy will help you get a handle on it? There's a LOT of material here in the forum on that!
 

jetmk

A Disturbance in the Force
Hi Blackrain,

I can relate to your post. My husband is a clever manipulator.
I'm deeply saddened by his lies. I too am being made out to be the "mad one" amongst our commuity.
He's been caught yet again being inappropriate, and I almost fell for his usual victim routine, but
I can't allow him to crush me again. As you put it so eloquently, I feel "ruined" too.

Thanks for sharing your story.
 

blackrain

The Force is Strong With This One
Thanks laura, you are so right, narcissist are psychopaths , in my case, or in my eyes he is a criminal psychopath, taking half my house my furniture and my dog. What is the most upsetting is that fact he preys on woman via the internet dating sites. My phone before i changed my number for the third time, kept ringing by women asking who i was and then breaking into tears because they had been lied to, manipulated etc!!! Narcissist's are nonhuman have no real feelings therefore cannot feel guilt or remorse, they just go on searching for that narcist fix from anyone who shows any interest!!!! Thanks again laura .
Jetmk, thanks for your reply,not going to give any advice, you know what to do instinctively!! Just a few things from my story which might help, I started a get away plan in my head, this kept me going,I kept a diary of the lies and found evidence to support the lies, this helped me to focus on finding the real me again, I sought the truth, he tired very hard to stop this even going to the extreme measure of infecting me with a sexual disease which went into my blood stream and turned into encephalitis and meningitis, I nearly died but I fought to get out of hospital to protect my kids from him ( luckily, they are not his). Eventually I had enough evidence and proceeded to phone most of the women he was in contact with. I awaited his rage and boy did he rage. I then escaped with the kids, OK my life is not brilliant now,materially speaking, my breakdown resulted in my losing my job and my self esteem and confidence but i am me again ME!!! The following months year etc were hard, he manged to track me down and my phone numbers but i was resilient , I cut off the narcissist thread from him!!! Hope this helps jetmk . thanks again to everyone
 

RedFox

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Hi BlackRain

blackrain said:
What is the most upsetting is that fact he preys on woman via the internet dating sites.
You may be interested in a blog that PurpleHaze posted about/is a member of in the Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths thread.
You are definitely not alone in your experiences, and although I've never been through any of it myself I have several friends who have.

Welcome to the forum :)
 

Lilou

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
Galahad has given good advice. I found much comfort and excellent information on Sandra Brown's website back in 2006 after I encountered a psychopath. Please hang tough and arm yourself with knowledge - it is your best defense.
 
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