What to DO now? Is it too late?

[Etevarran]

Hello. First of all I want to apologize if this post is too long. What I'm about to write stems mostly from having watched the two new videos from the Chateau workshops and the SOTT Radio interview with Laura that were released this week (5 hours in total, and highly recommended to everyone here if you haven't watched them yet). To begin with, it feels uncomfortable having to talk about myself so much here, but I would at least hope that there are others in the same position at this moment in time who this writing could help as well. Second, I always feel a strong responsibility to everyone in here to write seriously and with care over every single word I use and every single idea expressed, because I don't want it to be simply noise that doesn't contribute to everyone's Work here. So, I'm sure this simple post may be one of the hardest things I've ever had to write, and I am a writer by profession.

Simply put, I don't know what to Do now. I don't know if everything I've worked on so hard for so long will be worth nothing, simply because time has run out for all of us. I want to help, I want to contribute and share with others, but I after so long I still don't know how. I don't feel I'm truly capable of helping the way I should be helping by now.

I've been working on a novel for what has amounted to 14 years of my life. I am 26 years old, by the way. Researching for my novel was the very thing that allowed me to find the Cassiopaean Experiment in 2005. Since then I spent years and years reading and learning from The Wave, the Adventures, Amazing Grace, and SOTT, while I went through college and continued working on my own book. I relegated writing for the sake of finishing college, and I was about to keep doing so to keep studying. But everything I read, everything I experienced in my life led to the decision that writing and telling the world that story was the right thing I had to do with my life. The continued research on the book has taught me so much I wouldn't have learnt otherwise.

The reason everything has led me to write that story, including all of Laura's writings, is because (to put it shortly) the story I'm writing is an allegory of the world as it truly is today. That is why I understand that the story must be told, because what I want is to get a voice to be able to tell people "THIS is your world, the REAL world, and everyone should wake up to the truth." This is what I believe I must do with my life.

The problem is that the path to being a writer has also led me to a path of solitude. Which is of course, the opposite of a path to networking. I want to believe that finishing my book and getting it out there will finally open the door to a world where I can make a significant difference for the better, and at that moment I can actively seek out the right people and network properly and constructively, and finally be part of a movement that will literally save human lives. But until then I just feel powerless, and alone.

There is no one around me who I can share with, and writing a novel is inevitably a personal and one-man job. But I feel I must keep going. I have my family, thank God, but they're part of that world I decided to step out of, the world of blissful ignorance and conformity that I never felt a part of. I would love to help them realize the truth about their world, but after so many years of living in this society I've realized I don't have the power to do so. And I think that would somehow violate their free will. Thus I've learned that this applies to my country as a whole. After so many years of living here, witnessing so much moral corruption, so much unbridled disregard for human life, so much inertia towards suffering and evil, I've realized that I am simply not the one who has the power to change their ways, even if I tried my hardest. I wonder how many people here feel the same about their families, or the place they live...?

The point is that I am still on this path I have chosen as my own, like all of you are I'm sure, and if I keep working for a bit longer I will finally finish. But I don't know if it's taken me too long, and I'm out of time already.

So I wonder, isn't it too late for those who still haven't reached their goal, who still haven't been able to get their plans together and start networking in a significant way? If I don't have a voice by now, if I haven't moved to that world where I can truly help others see the truth, share what we know with others, if I don't even have a network of people to help and be helped by, am I doing the wrong thing? God knows I tried contributing things to this forum, but everyone here is so knowledgeable already, so full of information that I'm supposed to have as well but my bad memory won't let me tap into it like all of you wonderful people do. Isn't it too late, for instance, to switch to a paleo diet, if it takes years for the body to cleanse itself and adapt to its health benefits?

Again I apologize for making this about myself so much, the truth is that I want to be a part of the network without my voice being just noise about the place I stand in, and I presume that there are others in the world who want the same but still haven't had a chance to participate properly.

So all things considered, I am simply Asking for people's help. I want to know what is worth doing at this moment in time. I want to believe that everything I have learnt has not been for nothing. I want to help make a difference.

Hopefully all of this I have written isn't just more noise in the system, either. If it is I apologize.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Rich]

The point is that I am still on this path I have chosen as my own, like all of you are I'm sure, and if I keep working for a bit longer I will finally finish. But I don't know if it's taken me too long, and I'm out of time already.

Thanks for sharing Cesar. I'd just say the questions you raise are the same for most of us here. None of us are 'there' wherever that might be and we all have our 'what shall we be doing?' moments. We are just at different stages along a path and I think focusing on the 'end' or 'finish' is a little bit of a fallacy. From my understanding at this point in time there is no 'finish', we just focus our energy as closely as we can to our own and group aims.

It reminds me of the quote attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson — 'Life is a journey, not a destination.' - Maybe for you it is just a case of changing your mindset to that approach.

No reason why you can't work on your novel and network here too, maybe it will give you more ideas and give you a clearer sense of direction.

I think deep down perhaps you already know the answers to the questions you've asked simply by the fact that you've written them.

You'll get 'there' and I wish you well.

 

[Palinurus]

Hi Cesar,

There's a famous line from Martin Luther, used by many others like Martin Luther King for instance, which seems applicable here:

Even if I knew that the world would go to pieces tomorrow, I would still plant a tree today.

Hope this helps a bit. :)

 

[Iarrthoir Firinne]

Hi Cesar

I agree with Pob - I understand that scary feeling - that time is running out, I still get those pangs sometimes. But for the most part, I believe that 'time' isn't an issue - it's about putting into practice all you can as you learn, to achieve the ultimate goal. That it is never 'too late' to start doing the work on yourself because it's a heartfelt journey, a yearning, not a 'to do' list with a deadline. And as Pob said, we are all at differant stages of the journey, I often wish I was further along than I am though! .... Good luck with finishing your book!

 

[Lumiere_du_Code]

But until then I just feel powerless, and alone.

But I feel I must keep going. I have my family, thank God, but they're part of that world I decided to step out of, the world of blissful ignorance and conformity that I never felt a part of. I would love to help them realize the truth about their world, but after so many years of living in this society I've realized I don't have the power to do so. And I think that would somehow violate their free will.

So I wonder, isn't it too late for those who still haven't reached their goal, who still haven't been able to get their plans together and start networking in a significant way? If I don't have a voice by now, if I haven't moved to that world where I can truly help others see the truth, share what we know with others, if I don't even have a network of people to help and be helped by, am I doing the wrong thing?
Isn't it too late, for instance, to switch to a paleo diet, if it takes years for the body to cleanse itself and adapt to its health benefits?

Hello Cesar.
If that does not pay attention to my English, is not my native language, I hope you understand me.

I know your feelings, I did feel very similar, by the way, I also write, but not a writer by profession.

The fact is that when we grow up and pass stages of our extension, opening new thresholds, what is left behind, begins to lose touch with us, especially when it's people, close friends that long time to each other very well know.

I am also had very, very many conversations with my family and friends, sincerely and unobtrusively how as possible neutral explaining objective picture of the world, the obvious facts that hide, distort the truth, etc. but they did not hear me, all my words pass by as if I say with stone, but not the person. Yes, in past it makes me sad, but then I realized what it should not upset me, because everyone makes his choice according to what point of training / development of the soul they is.

Dearest friends told me that they were very sorry that I deceived by my knowledge, that it's all lies and bigotry, and I began to clearly see and feel that we are moving away from each other, our ways, because our understanding diverges in this. I evolve as I can, try knowing the Universe, and the people who are dear to me, accuse me of errors and do not want to see that they can be mistaken, despite the thousands of arguments, facts and hints.

I can tell you that always works for me and leads me on my way: listen to your own soul, intuition, is what is felt inside as significant, it is worth doing it because it is yours. when we follow the signs and clues own internal "I", we are going the right way. Do what inspires you and energizes.

If it the paleo-diet, you can try it, watching your feelings.

 

[Lumiere_du_Code]

I also reviewing the prospects of my affairs and employment, I realize that we are no longer "normal" lives in the usual course, as it was before. when I have something to start doing something new, what takes time, I ask myself: is there any sense in this ? Is it useful to me or someone else? and then I can see that is a secondary or negligible, and that - really important or useful. but, as I said before, the most important thing - to learn to trust/hear yourself, your inner feelings. and then the Universe itself will put everything in its place, connecting the dots. it really works.
I wish you inspiration, self-reliance and good luck on your journey.
thanks for this topic, friend

 

[Lumiere_du_Code]

Even if I knew that the world would go to pieces tomorrow, I would still plant a tree today.

great quote, thanx

 

[Lumiere_du_Code]

"Even if I knew that the world would go to pieces tomorrow, I would still plant a tree today."
___

 

[Lumiere_du_Code]

___

 

[Mr. Premise]

Cesar, the Paleo diets wil yield benefits right away so, no, it's not too late to start it.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Cesar.

What to DO now? One idea: make your muse happy by adding a bit more to your novel!

As a writer, you may especially benefit from distinguishing 'time' contexts of logic, or, the temporal modes of people's thinking processes. Learning to recognize your own temporal modes, mode shifts and how these shifts affect your feelings, the character and quality of your thought and then practicing controlling these shifts might benefit your personal work and you could probably use this knowledge for your story characters as well.

For example, excessive concern with causation can remove us from 'now', placing us in a past description where the inertia of immediate or further history and it's seemingly uncontrollable, unchangeable nature can effectively immobilize us and fill us with fatigue, unconcern, apathy and thoughts that tend to validate external authority as 'controllers' of our destinies since that goes along with feelings of powerlessness.

Excessive concern with a predicted, probabilistic future can also remove us from 'now', placing us in a future description where concepts and meanings involving 'chance', 'randomness', 'chaos' and 'determinism' that likely pre-exist in our memories or unconscious mind may trigger anxiety, despair, worthlessness, apathy and maybe even nihilistic or associated thoughts.

I would even dare to suggest that an excessive concern for both past or future is a sure route to a fixed disassociation and eventual irresponsibility due to increased feelings of loss of general and specific personal control.

Coming back and remaining with the 'now' where you are writing your novel, which your life is integrated with and which sounds like a life's work of potential value to lots of people, seems like a best advice I could offer. 'Now' is where you make second by second choices and where you would most naturally feel your responsibility for them and some associated personal worth.

When feeling anxious or upset and needing to orient yourself in the present, first try to do something useful and productive for you, like writing. In typing your text, you act upon the likelihood (your personal prediction) of a future novel, now! As you do the real task of typing out the story, you can feel certain sure that you are writing a novel, due to the fact that, at this time, you can see and feel the reality of an ongoing process that you are guiding towards completion and being responsible for. There's your Being at the moment, OSIT. And from there, your continued choices continue to make that life that reflects your interaction with all of creation. "What do you want reflecting back?", I guess would seem a relevant question to reflect upon.

 

[Minas Tirith]

I totally agree with what Buddy said in his post.

Being a writer myself, although an academic one, I know it is very difficult to finish something without a deadline. It seems that even though this piece of work brought you to where you are today, it somehow keeps you from doing other things now. You have already spent 14 years writing, so I suggest that you tackle this first: Set yourself a time to finish it.

God knows I tried contributing things to this forum, but everyone here is so knowledgeable already, so full of information that I'm supposed to have as well but my bad memory won't let me tap into it like all of you wonderful people do. Isn't it too late, for instance, to switch to a paleo diet, if it takes years for the body to cleanse itself and adapt to its health benefits?

I know how you feel and I opened a thread about feeling overwhelmed a little than a year ago myself. If you look closer, however, you will see that most people are knowledgeable indeed, but about their topic(s), and with very few exceptions like Laura, about everything. F.e. there might be people who know a lot about the Electric Universe Theory (something I do not have any clue about), others participate strongly in the Health and Diet threads. That's the beauty of networking, one can benefit from the deep knowledge of others and add a little of one's own. Find yourself something that you like, start from there, explore it further and you will find that many beautiful connections open up all by themselves!

Regarding the Diet, even though gluten is said to circulate in the body even though one stopped having it for quite a while, try one month going without it, and you will have immediate results! Guaranteed :) Same with EE, I will never forget how I felt when I tried it for the first time.

Good luck with everyting.

M.T.

 

[Minas Tirith]

Again I apologize for making this about myself so much, the truth is that I want to be a part of the network without my voice being just noise about the place I stand in, and I presume that there are others in the world who want the same but still haven't had a chance to participate properly.

I am not quite sure what you mean with the part that I bolded. It is your responsibility to start by yourself and since you seem to have free access to the Internet nobody really denies you this chance ;)

While still at University there where a couple of students that already had kids and I often wondered how on earth they were managing all this. I then talked to a girl with two children and asked and she said that she felt she was at an advantage to the "common" student because she really had to structure her day and keep working, knowing her kids would be home at a certain time. Time was precious to her whereas "we", the students at the beginning of the 90s (today it might be a bit different), treated it as it would never run out.

So coming back to your initial question: There still is time, I guess, but not doing the wrong things. I feel it is more important than ever to focus on the right ones. Structuring your day, setting deadlines and aims might help you with it.

M.T.

 

[luc]

Hello Cesar, thank you for sharing your story!

In addition to the great advice you have been given, I had a few thoughts while reading your post.

From what you wrote,

The reason everything has led me to write that story, including all of Laura's writings, is because (to put it shortly) the story I'm writing is an allegory of the world as it truly is today. That is why I understand that the story must be told, because what I want is to get a voice to be able to tell people "THIS is your world, the REAL world, and everyone should wake up to the truth."

I want to believe that finishing my book and getting it out there will finally open the door to a world where I can make a significant difference for the better, and at that moment I can actively seek out the right people and network properly and constructively, and finally be part of a movement that will literally save human lives.

I get the impression that you are thinking "too big", like you will "accomplish everything" with this one great work - maybe by focusing on this big goal you miss out on smaller opportunities to be of help to others and to network, even on a very small scale? On opportunities to work on yourself? And, I hope this doesn't sound too harsh since I don't know all the details about the process, but frankly, working for 14 years on one's "magnum opus" doesn't sound very productive to me (although it seems it was very productive in terms of research and insights!). Just some thoughts: Why not focus more on smaller things? You could write a short story and just put it out there, start writing a blog, network here about your book etc. - just to finish something and publish it and see where it leads to? Look how Laura has done it - she started with a book project, then started putting out stuff on the web, then just wanted to write another little book, and one thing lead to the other and now she has not only a "magnum opus", but a whole body of the most brilliant works one can imagine...

In that context, I can recommend Steven Pressfield's book "The War of Art", in which he talks about this inner fight of the writer against his internal "resistance" to fulfill his potential, his destiny. I found it quite motivating. There is a threat about it here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,31630.msg422675.html#msg422675

And this ties in I think to your question what to Do - in my experience, broken and fragmented as most of us are (I know I am), one of the best methods to actually DO something is to set small, realistic AIMS for oneself, and not only for one day or one week, but a longer time. This brings the little I's into sharp focus and helps to integrate them step-by-step, osit. The aim can be almost everything, but the best aims, in my experience, are those that lead to something useful in a general sense. This could be something related to writing in your case, or diet-related, for example. So instead of asking "is it too late?", you could declare "from now on, I don't eat gluten anymore" and see where it leads you. But even the smallest aim can yield great results, like "From now on, I post five important articles on Facebook every week". It's just important to really mean it and try very hard to reach the aim. To me, it was very interesting and telling to experience all the excuses and "federated revolutions" of the little I's trying to prevent me from even the smallest aims.

One final thought, please correct me if I'm wrong since it is possible that I'm projecting here, but could it be that you feel a bit "sitting between the chairs", so to speak? To me, it was (and still is at times) horrifying as it dawned on me that "the Work" is truly a one-way street. There is no going back to the illusions. And so it is quite natural, I think, to step-by-step completely re-evaluate one's life, relationships to family and friends, one's dreams and aspirations, one's goals in life etc., and this can be very painful.

Just some thoughts, hope this is helpful.

 

[Etevarran]

Wow, thanks everyone for your words of wisdom... you have given me a lot to reflect on... about what "today" truly means, and about the goals for "tomorrow". And so much more.

Once again thank you.