When you feel like you're being ignored

[Mikha'El]

I'm curious to learn how people here react to the feeling that one is being ignored.

To sum up my story, I contacted someone online recently whom I feel has some information or advice that they could give in regards to something that could potentially be damaging to me if not handled correctly.

I believe that I was very patient and non-demanding in my request for advice. I contacted this person publicly first and then I attempted to contact this person through a private conversation.

Both attempts at contact were met with absolute silence.

This is a person that I know is active and definitely has information, or access to information, that could be crucial to my endeavor. This is about a topic on which it is difficult to find a lot of information in the usual manner.

I am curious as to how others would react in this situation.

Should I continue to attempt to contact this person at the risk of alienating him/her entirely or do I just chalk it up to a loss and move on?

Any comments would be appreciated.

 

[Carlos Alberto]

In my case it would depend on the specifics and context of the situation.

For example, if it's a business or professional relationship where there is an expectation that they should share information with you then I would try to insist on obtaining the information in a tactful and respectful way. A face to face conversation would be best, if possible.

On the other hand, if this is a personal relationship and they have no obligation to tell you anything, then I would try to respect that.

One more thought about this: How do you know that they have some information? You have to be careful not to make false assumptions.

 

[seek10]

I believe that I was very patient and non-demanding in my request for advice. I contacted this person publicly first and then I attempted to contact this person through a private conversation.

Both attempts at contact were met with absolute silence.

This is a person that I know is active and definitely has information, or access to information, that could be crucial to my endeavor. This is about a topic on which it is difficult to find a lot of information in the usual manner.

I am curious as to how others would react in this situation.

Depends on the context - persons involved, previous dynamics, programs involved in the similar situation, what you can do and what you can't , are you stressed at that time and so on. More stressed or tired, more programs gets triggered.

Programs involved are - anger, narcissistic self beating, distracting to different things, feeling of depressed when not acknowledge and so on. That is endless variations to it. Most important part is recognizing it and ask our selves how others react to it. Not in a ideal way, what is the basic techniques people use. Now a days, you have TON online advice related to it whether it is main stream or not.

 

[Expedition26]

I would just keep looking. Chances are it wasn’t meant to be and someone else has better information out there. Nagging someone who doesn’t want to give you the time of day will just upset and deflate you more than continuing on your quest for information.

FWIW I contact people all the time for different reasons and half of them don’t get back to me. I don’t take it as a loss I take it as a sign that there’s something better and keep on trekking.

 

[Anamarija]

I think that there's natural way of things. Some kind of wave. And if you observant enough that you can see signs that which lead you to the best outcome (even though everything is a lesson). Follow your intuition but in the same time try to collect as much information you can and connect the dots. Sometime obstacles are there to find a way to removed them and sometimes there to save you from wasting your energy. But always is your call, IMO.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

If you provide a little more information, perhaps the context of your dynamics could be better understood. I would add to what colleagues said above, it is a good time to pay more attention to the anticipation that this situation generates for you. There are a variety of options for why a person is not responding, but we always reduce them all to our immediate emotional demand and pigeonhole them into the worst one that makes us feel and thus magnify that feeling of "rejection" by reinforcing the programs that are running to influence more and more, to the point where you do something inappropriate and make it a habit.

This is a person that I know is active and definitely has information, or access to information, that could be crucial to my endeavor. This is about a topic on which it is difficult to find a lot of information in the usual manner.

Or maybe you haven't looked hard enough and you think you will only get that information from that person? it's just a possibility since you don't mention what "kind of information" you are referring to and you don't have to if you don't want to, but it's like giving a lot of importance to something that maybe it really doesn't have and that you can get with patience if you make an effort on your own.

If it is about your personal image, well, from what you say, you do know what it is about by pointing out that it is not information that is acquired in the usual way and is delicate... so the root problem is not being ignored exactly, it is about how to avoid damaging your self-image before it is "late" because from what you say, makes me think that that person should not know about it, that person investigated it, and do I get to the root of something you don't want to reveal the way in which it is presented that information?. You should then be informed and acquire knowledge of how to deal with the possible situations that arise based on the disclosure of that information, in case it is of real importance. But if it is a distortion, just face it with the truth, if you are facing yourself with that truth first of all.

 

[Renaissance]

There may be many reasons why you were not contacted (the individual missed your messages, they have their hands full, can't commit to your request, etc.). But I think the main thing to consider is people have the freedom to associate with whom they choose. Sounds like a program may have been triggered in not getting the response you wanted. Is the issue something you can network about here on the forum?

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

You can speak openly here, without fear of being judged, but it is understood that sometimes there are issues that are difficult to bring to light out of fear and embarrassment. The important thing is whether or not you can recognize your program and what is preventing you from doing what you need to do and are doing the things that make it more difficult for you to move forward and allow yourself to be helped.

 

[Ellipse]

Don't judge the person you asked the question. Perhaps this person is blocked, unconsciously, to give you the answer precisely because it would help you.

 

[liam1310]

Both attempts at contact were met with absolute silence.

I am curious as to how others would react in this situation.

Personally, I would leave them be.

 

[Alejo]

Personally, I would leave them be.

Yes, that is sort of my take on it as well.

I think if I were to reach out to someone twice and they didn't answer, I would not try again. Who knows what might be going on with them personally that wouldn't allow them to respond, or maybe they do not wish to do so. Either way, the reality on the ground is that they have not responded, and so I would move on without any resentment and look for the answer elsewhere.

As others pointed out, if this is something that you're comfortable enough to network here, then it might help you clarify whatever issue you are having trouble with.

 

[Mikha'El]

There may be many reasons why you were not contacted (the individual missed your messages, they have their hands full, can't commit to your request, etc.). But I think the main thing to consider is people have the freedom to associate with whom they choose. Sounds like a program may have been triggered in not getting the response you wanted. Is the issue something you can network about here on the forum?

It actually is an issue that I attempted to network through this forum. The person I am referring to is an important member of this group.

Hence, why I was being so circumspect in relating the details.

It is just very odd to me that this person couldn't be bothered to give me even a simple, "That's not a topic that I am interested in discussing."

I would have been fine with that, but I received total silence. I expected more, I suppose.

I understand that my expectations are the result of my desire, that is something that I constantly work on mastering. I get very disappointed when I expect a certain level of respect and I don't receive it.

I know that I would never behave that way and I believe that I hold people to higher standards than I suppose I have a right to. It is not fair for me to expect people to behave in certain ways, even though I don't feel that I hold people to impossible standards.

I understand that it is my anticipation of a particular outcome that causes me to become disappointed.

In my opinion, however, it is just common decency to reply in some manner, even if the reply is not what that other person wants to hear.

You can speak openly here, without fear of being judged, but it is understood that sometimes there are issues that are difficult to bring to light out of fear and embarrassment. The important thing is whether or not you can recognize your program and what is preventing you from doing what you need to do and are doing the things that make it more difficult for you to move forward and allow yourself to be helped.

This is related to spiritual matters. I am preparing myself to embark on a spiritual journey that could potentially be harmful to me. I was merely seeking some advice, any advice, on a topic that is not really well documented.

I think that I am not being as self reliant as I could. It is my hesitancy, and possibly fear, that caused me to reach out to this person in the first place.

Perhaps it's the Universe telling me that I already have the answers and that I need to be confident in the instruction that She has given me.

 

[bauble]

I'd look at this as two opportunities, not the closed doors it may seem to be. First, as someone for whom being ignored used to be a brutal sting (and occasionally still is, we're all a work in progress), I can attest to the benefit of digging deep into that issue and doing some healing. In my case, it goes back to an overall need to be in control of my own circumstances and it's a really good thing to work through and try to resolve, because that surrender is so freeing. There will always be people who don't respond the way we think they should/will, and those will always be our chances to choose to heal and not be negatively affected by that circumstance the next time it happens.

Second, the student must be ready. Is it possible there is more preparation you need to do before you embark on this journey? I think it's very rarely an issue with someone else when we encounter this types of situations, but rather a chance to look inside and further the work. And when you're truly ready, is it possible the information you seek will be more easily attained or received as a natural side effect of the process to become ready?

 

[Ben]

It actually is an issue that I attempted to network through this forum. The person I am referring to is an important member of this group.

Hence, why I was being so circumspect in relating the details.

It is just very odd to me that this person couldn't be bothered to give me even a simple, "That's not a topic that I am interested in discussing."

In a way, they have given you the answer. They're either not able to or not motivated to reply right now. Or they haven't even seen the message. All are perfectly good reasons not to reply.

Yes, it is considerate to respond (even if only to decline) but I would give someone the benefit of the doubt, especially if they are an 'important member of this group'.

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

I am glad that you have been able to open up and expose your concerns, as you will see, another range of situations and options have opened up that have greater importance in the work you must do for yourself with the help of the feedback that others are giving you.

I understand that my expectations are the result of my desire, that is something that I constantly work on mastering. I get very disappointed when I expect a certain level of respect and I don't receive it.

I know that I would never behave that way and I believe that I hold people to higher standards than I suppose I have a right to. It is not fair for me to expect people to behave in certain ways, even though I don't feel that I hold people to impossible standards.

I understand that it is my anticipation of a particular outcome that causes me to become disappointed.

This is related to spiritual matters. I am preparing myself to embark on a spiritual journey that could potentially be harmful to me.

Perhaps it's the Universe telling me that I already have the answers and that I need to be confident in the instruction that She has given me.

Exactly, you yourself have the answer and yet you say that you "prepare to take a trip" if you know that traveling is counterproductive, would you do it? you are contradicting yourself, it happens, no problem, the problem is that you still know it and expect validation in someone else when you are not paying attention to your instinct in the very direct way you are warning yourself.

We have the false expectation of having a direct answer from the universe in order of closed questions "yes" or "no", when it is something that you must discover, but sometimes, it is sitting next to us and even passing you images through the projector of your internal state and we do not pay attention to it. That in itself, is a "direct signal", only that for lack of knowledge and letting our programs and buffers free, we do not pay attention to it. We sabotage ourselves. It is normal, the important thing is that you recognize it and take charge of you, if you know that it harms you.

In my opinion, however, it is just common decency to reply in some manner, even if the reply is not what that other person wants to hear.

I understand that feeling, yes, it is unpleasant but because we are stuck in a personal demand, in a control that we must be served according to our expectation and emotional demand, you have been told before about the programs involved. But you know, you are recognizing it, what will you do now?

Common decency is fine, but it has its pitfalls as people closely emotionally attach validation to others. We impose ourselves and others, a goal to surpass that we dictate whether or not something deserves as long as it meets our standard of values, especially "values" that have been built on control and imposition.

Imagine if I felt offended by every person who doesn't get back to me when I try to find clients (which happens often) pf!... depressed, bitter, resentful, I stop continuing in the project, etc. I stagnate and disintegrate on my own. Although the dynamics are different, the effects we bring on ourselves are the same.

Just as you say you would "never" do it, but you are doing it. Perhaps you may have done something else that you are not aware of and that person simply made the decision to no longer feed that part of you. And what did that lead to... well... here it is manifesting now and you could work on it or will you be like the man in The Parable of the Poisoned Arrow?

On a topic that is not really well documented.

Maybe you can talk about that topic and ask for information or use the forum search engine and expand your knowledge about it. You can expose your thought of why that topic is not well documented from where you see it and get more information.