When you feel like you're being ignored

brandon

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
I've felt that way a few times in the past, where I asked someone online something that's important to me, and they didn't reply.. Then saw them replying to other people and carrying on as normal... and I went into the mode of being offended and, thinking "maybe he just didn't see it or was busy", but still keeping a watch on them, like "look! he's replied to yet another person while still ignoring me! how dare he!", and then it gets to the stage of posting some kind of secretive, public dig at them, not mentioning them directly but just saying "hate it when people don't reply! so rude...", but probably with the hope of some kind of justice, like the person will see it and realise the error of their ways, or other people will agree with me and so balance out my hurt feelings... (this is what this thread seems like to me)

I've found this Carlos Castaneda quote of Don Juan really helpful when feeling like this:

Think about it: what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
So, it doesn't matter what the reason for the lack of reply was, or whether it was a bit rude or not.. Cos in the end, you just don't know why they didn't reply, could be for any number of reasons, and like people have said, maybe it's for the best! I like what liam1310 said that the universe acts in mysterious ways..


My self importance did take a hit and I don't have a problem admitting that because I believe that I am important, just as important and unimportant at the same time, as any other member of this forum.

I see "self importance" as meaning something a bit different to that - it's less to do with how actually important or unimportant you are (which, sure, I agree everyone is just as important/unimportant as everyone else, from a "zoomed out" view, though from a personal level people's importance depends on context)... But to me, self importance is like a sort of rigidity of thought, where you can't let go of things, you're gripping tight on a circle of thought and getting stuck in a loop, instead of flowing freely and being able to act... if that makes sense...

So maybe it'd be a good idea to analyse your reason for starting this thread - like, did you really just want advice on whether or not to keep trying to contact the person? Was there an element of wanting to salve your hurt feelings? And if so, what are the benefits of holding onto those hurt feelings? Does it really matter - to you - if the person was wrong or rude to not reply to you? (and sorry if that sounds harsh, like I said, I've felt the same way before, and I think it's totally normal... as other replies said, you gotta be patient with both yourself and other people!)
 

Alejo

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
My self importance did take a hit and I don't have a problem admitting that because I believe that I am important, just as important and unimportant at the same time, as any other member of this forum.
well, what is apparent is that you believe that you are actually more important than other members of the forum, the reason is quite simple, you can only see out of your own two eyes and so you don't see anyone else's experience. To illustrate my point, would you feel as personally offended if you knew that anyone here didn't respond to anyone else? or Ark ignored a few dozen messages in a week? probably not.

Providing unsolicited, unwanted advice is a selfish act. Sort of like how the C's describe sending love and light to those who don't ask for it or want it.
yes, how about responding to a demand for answers? Moreover:

I don't want to channel for personal reasons, I don't have any issues that I haven't dealt with in the normal manner. I want to channel because it has been made clear to me that I have an inclination towards being skilled at that type of activity. I don't like wasting any skill that I may possess.

I'm going to use the psychomanteum eventually and it would make sense to me that someone who may be able to offer pertinent advice to ensure that I do it correctly, would do so.

So, How was it made clear? or by who or what? Also, has someone asked you sincerely to channel? because if you're doing it simply to "not waste your skills", then it is for personal reasons.

And also, if you're going to use the psychomanteum eventually, then what could Ark, or anyone, possibly have said to you to change your mind about how you're going about it? What if Ark said "no, I do not think you should". You have already made up your mind about it.

However, none of us in this density, on this planet are STO. We are all STS and we will be until the Wave reaches us and takes us to 4th density. Even then, we will still be STS. So to say that this activity or that way of thinking leads one to being STS is not exactly accurate and, imo, is placing emphasis on the negative.
But one could point out just as accurately that one activity is focused entirely on the experience for the self, despite one's wishes to convince oneself of its altruistic nature.

How about we focus on the things that could lead one to becoming a STO candidate? Let's cherry pick out the positive rather than the negative. Let's come together and not glorify any individual as being more or less important than any other. We are all a mix of 'good' and 'bad'.
I think that is precisely what this forum, to a very large degree, already does. Though, there's no cherry picking that I can see. And as far as not glorifying, I think that begins with each one of us individually, and not glorying ourselves above the rest of the forum.

This is not an issue that is keeping me up at night. I was offended by the inaction of this person. I know that only I can decide to react in the manner that I do, and this is how I've chosen to react.
Well, I'm sorry you chose to become offended at someone else's free will, when there are so many other alternatives, specially because you're thinking and feeling that he did something against you personally, and that is not the case at all. But you chose to believe that and ignore all other evidence.

Right now your post reads as "how dare you ignore ME?!" and considering that, would you respond to someone who displays such an attitude?
 

Nathancat7

Jedi Master
I know he was active in that thread for days after I asked my question. He replied to other members, just actively chose to ignore me. I sent him a pm, which was also ignored.

I don't care how he would have replied, the fact is that he didn't. It could have taken him less than a minute to do so.

I didn't want to directly call him out by name because that is affecting his free will to answer me on his own. Thanks for taking that decision away from me @Renaissance.

My self importance did take a hit and I don't have a problem admitting that because I believe that I am important, just as important and unimportant at the same time, as any other member of this forum.

Providing unsolicited, unwanted advice is a selfish act. Sort of like how the C's describe sending love and light to those who don't ask for it or want it.

I don't want to channel for personal reasons, I don't have any issues that I haven't dealt with in the normal manner. I want to channel because it has been made clear to me that I have an inclination towards being skilled at that type of activity. I don't like wasting any skill that I may possess.

I'm going to use the psychomanteum eventually and it would make sense to me that someone who may be able to offer pertinent advice to ensure that I do it correctly, would do so.

This is not an issue that is keeping me up at night. I was offended by the inaction of this person. I know that only I can decide to react in the manner that I do, and this is how I've chosen to react.

I have read most of the recommended reading list and I have read the Wave series three times now. Yes, I know there is a lot of information in there, but nothing very specific to the use of a psychomanteum. I was hoping that going straight to the source would provide me with more information.

I have talked about this a couple of times on this forum but no one really had any info. So, again, I figured that reaching out to one who perhaps knows a bit more about this sort of thing would be a good idea.

I know that I am a good person and I have been through struggles in this life. I learn lessons everyday and I am confident in my choice to strive towards STO. I don't need validation of the life that I live. I live to help others, I always have. If I do so selfishly sometimes, well isn't that what being STO is all about? Helping others because one knows that assistance will come back around eventually.

You get what you give.

However, none of us in this density, on this planet are STO. We are all STS and we will be until the Wave reaches us and takes us to 4th density. Even then, we will still be STS. So to say that this activity or that way of thinking leads one to being STS is not exactly accurate and, imo, is placing emphasis on the negative.

How about we focus on the things that could lead one to becoming a STO candidate? Let's cherry pick out the positive rather than the negative. Let's come together and not glorify any individual as being more or less important than any other. We are all a mix of 'good' and 'bad'.

We are all learning together, not one of us has all the answers. Knowledge can be gained from any source and no person should be discouraged from expressing themselves, especially in a forum such as this.
I can relate to how you feel in that I've often reached out to the wrong people.
Therefore I think this situation inside you was there before you even reached out, perhaps not an directly as you wish, here.
I know you may not wish to hear that; yet the advice here is magnificent and worth listening to, Because I have come to know there is a trust with the elders here.
 

Nienna

SuperModerator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
My self importance did take a hit and I don't have a problem admitting that because I believe that I am important, just as important and unimportant at the same time, as any other member of this forum.
But, if you were truly working on yourself, you would try to banish, or get under control, your self-importance.
I want to channel because it has been made clear to me that I have an inclination towards being skilled at that type of activity.
As others have asked, and you have not, yet, answered, who/what made this clear to you???
I don't like wasting any skill that I may possess.
Seriously? What if whomever told you that you have a skill for it was a bit off on their assessment? What if they were lying to you? What if this is just a narrative you are telling yourself?
If I do so selfishly sometimes, well isn't that what being STO is all about? Helping others because one knows that assistance will come back around eventually.
NO!!! STO is about doing what is right with no anticipation of getting anything in return. You don't do something because you think that that will get you something, yourself in return. You seem to have a bit of a misunderstanding or what STO is all about.
How about we focus on the things that could lead one to becoming a STO candidate? Let's cherry pick out the positive rather than the negative. Let's come together and not glorify any individual as being more or less important than any other. We are all a mix of 'good' and 'bad'.
Oh, you mean we be like the New Age Love and Light crowd? I suppose you think that we should support and say how good psychopaths and pedophiles are? No we are not all the same.

Just to add here, because I think it's really needed:
From The Sufi Path of Knowledge by Chittick, Ibn al ‘Arabi says:

Nowadays most people interested in the spirituality of the East desire the "experience," though they may call what they are after "intimate communion with God." Those familiar with the standards and norms of spiritual experience set down by disciplined paths are usually appalled at the way Westerners seize upon any apparition from the domain outside of normal consciousness as a manifestation of the "spiritual." In fact there are innumerable realms in the unseen world, some of them far more dangerous than the worst jungles of the visible world. No person familiar with the teachings of Sufism would dare lay himself open to such forces...

And, then, there is this that Laura discusses in The Wave I speaking of the experience of a woman who is talking about The Beautiful Lady:

She puts the robe around me and then my mind separates from my body. I can look back and see it lying there. Then we go up through the ceiling, pop out the roof, and fly into space. One night the Lady took me back in time. We were in a foreign country and the people wore old-fashioned clothes. The Lady took on the appearance of a beautiful woman in a blue robe. She performed miracles for them..."

Suddenly Ann's face turned ashen and she asked to be excused. Her scream of pain was heard from the bathroom where she had taken refuge. When Ann came out, she was sniffling and holding her abdomen. The Lady had savagely attacked her for revealing that down through history, creatures like the Lady have taken the form of saints. They then use the gullibility of humankind to misguide and misinform people so that they believe they are seeing miracles performed. Ann begged the newsman to delete that portion of the interview." (Osborn, 1982)

I think that it is very important to know about the forces that inhabit other dimensions and densities because they are not all wonderful spiritual beings that want to guide and help us. Knowledge protects and ignorance endangers could not be more applicable than in cases like these.
 

Goemon_

Dagobah Resident
This thread remind me of something I read a long time ago, I think it was in Aldous Huxley's book "The Perennial Philosophy".

it goes something like that:

Imagine you are on a boat and you see another boat that is going to hit yours. There is someone on the other boat. You react by yelling at the person. For some unkmown reason the person does't react to your yelling and his/her boat eventualy hits you.

Now, same story but there is apparently no one on the other boat. You take action and avoid the boat.

The point being: the difference is what the situation triggers in you. The rest is unknown to you.

My two cents
 

T.C.

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I had been direct, I asked a question about how people react to the feeling of being ignored. That was all I was curious about.

I gave in to the pressure to reveal more info, and here we are.

If you honestly believe what you wrote above, especially where you say, “That was all I was curious about”, then you have a lot of work to do on yourself. Not even advanced work, but very simple self-questioning and self-honesty.

Because if you can fool yourself this easily, there’s no way you should be trying to contact random entities that are discarnate or worse. They’ll have a great time with you.
 

Mikha'El

Jedi
Thanks for all the comments. I understand you are all doing what you feel is the best thing to do.

I think that you all need to analyze your motivation in posting to this thread. Is it really to help me or to display your own knowledge? To prove that your understanding is superior to mine?

I didn't request your advice about anything, so why do you feel the need to force it upon me?

As far as I can tell, that is what STS is all about.

I'll keep living my life as I feel I should and so will you all.

I have no delusions about why I posted this thread. Yes, I can claim responsibility for being misleading. I have found that sometimes I can get more answers/results by feigning ignorance. Is that dishonest? Yes. Yes, it is. Sue me for being an STS 3rd density human.

WE ALL ARE.

Are you all perfect? I think not. Do you all have all the answers? I think not.

There is a great saying that I like to quote, "First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother's eye."

I didn't ask for advice from anyone except one person, I had my reasons for reaching out to that particular person.

An STS vehicle does not learn to be an STO candidate by determining the needs of another. - C's

A: One thing you should consider is that the so-called "rules" that dictate that it is being less than human to defend oneself and what is right and true just may have been programmed to make one weak.

A: Not yet, because this issue is not yet resolved. You are confused because you seem to think you must be STO to be an STO candidate. You are STS, and you simply cannot be otherwise, until you either reincarnate or transform at realm border crossing.

As far as STO beings helping others in order to help themselves is something that the C's said directly, I am just having problems finding it in the sessions. They specifically mention that that is the goal of STO. Knowing that by helping others, you are indeed helping yourself.

They stated that STS feels the opposite way, they help themselves first and then consider others. STS seeks to enforce its will upon others.
 

Mikha'El

Jedi
Ha, nice cherry pick there. I guess I could have worded that better. Let me fix it for you...

I didn't ask anyone's advice about using the psychomanteum. I asked for comments about how people deal with the frustration of feeling like you are being ignored.

Thank you for pointing out my flawed words.

By the way, comments do not equal advice. They are two totally different things.
 
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Anamarija

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
I didn't do that to pointing out your "flawed" words I'm just trying to understand what you really want. Taken into consideration that I quote what you said and the fact is that you said that you appreciate any comment and later said that you actually want to reach to the particular person. It looks to me like you're started a game, cast the hook and when you didn't get what you wanted you're disappointed and offended, again.

By the way, comments do not equal advice. They are two totally different things.
I think it depends on who is receiving the comment. Especially if the recipient is not open for comment/advice and eagerly awaits what he wants to hear and from whom he wants to hear.
 

Ben

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Ha, nice cherry pick there. I guess I could have worded that better. Let me fix it for you...

I didn't ask anyone's advice about using the psychomanteum. I asked for comments about how people deal with the frustration of feeling like you are being ignored.

Thank you for pointing out my flawed words.

By the way, comments do not equal advice. They are two totally different things.

You have received a lot of advice on that very subject, all delivered from an honest place of caring (and with respect), from several people. Your responses are loaded with sarcasm and reveal a need to defend yourself. There is no attack to defend against. What part of yourself is doing the defending, and perceives an attack? Is it a part you want to follow? Can you see the value of paying attention to it, even though you have questions about more 'advanced' spiritual pursuits?
 

brandon

Jedi Council Member
FOTCM Member
As far as STO beings helping others in order to help themselves is something that the C's said directly, I am just having problems finding it in the sessions. They specifically mention that that is the goal of STO. Knowing that by helping others, you are indeed helping yourself.

I know the bit you mean...I think they were asked "Are you STS or STO?" and replied "Both. Serve self through others", or something like that. Can't find that bit now but here's another time they say it:


Q: (T) You talk about both STO and STS. Yet you tell us that we need to learn to be STO. Why is there a difference between what we have to do and what you are doing?

A: STO is balance because you serve self through others.

Q: (T) You have said a couple of times that you are STS by being STO. Is this not true?

A: Yes. Already answered.

Q: (T) Kind of like: what goes around, comes around?

A: Yes.

Q: (T) Is STO a means to an end for STS?

A: No. STO is balance. STS is imbalance.

Q: (T) How can you be STS through STO if STS is imbalance?

A: STO flows outward and touches all including point of origin, STS flows inward and touches only origin point.
 

Alma.Innovadora

Jedi Council Member
I didn't request your advice about anything, so why do you feel the need to force it upon me?

In the same vein, why did you want to force a validating response by writing privately to the one you most identified with to cater to your selfish choice. If you were not invited to express yourself here, you would be writing to who knows how many people privately feeding your hurt personality.

Do what you are going to do if that's what you want, you don't need anyone's permission or advice if that's what you are already committed to and your choice beforehand. And if that's the only way for you to learn and take the consequences of your actions to whatever they lead you to, go ahead! You just wanted to send an indirect message to Mr. Ark, that was your whole problem and you already have an answer too.

You're just kicking the water to ultimately die on the shore. You want to know just how to deal with being ignored, well, learn from now on because after all that series of excuses and distorted justifications, it definitely doesn't merit anyone to keep feeding your attitude. And you've had enough information about it, you can go do whatever you're going to do with that mirror.

You complete your vicious circle if Mr. Ark ever responds to you, which is surely what you want the most after all. would that be enough for you? On channeling material there is enough explanatory information about everything you have to take into account before venturing on that "journey" and for those who know how it works, you do not need to do it under any circumstances, reason, research, or personal grief, it is not part of your being to contact any sage on another plane because you know that all the answers are contained in yourself and how the universe interacts through every action you do in your daily life.

A single channeling tool has seemed the most suitable for channeling and to use it, it involves first doing a lot of personal work and in that inner work for STO, you are far away of that, use as you wish my words. But if you are ready for the other side, go and satiate your curiosity on your own. That's what all this fuss is for, to finally go like a spoiled child and do the opposite of what you have been warned because you want to be right at all costs. Go do what you're going to do, without making too much noise. Go and live your own way but without disturbing others privately or by any means if you don't have what you want.
 
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