Strange sensation in solar-plexus area?

I don't understand what I'm experiencing, although I've collected some observations ind info. I'm requesting help because I haven't been able to pierce the veil covering this issue, and all I have currently are speculations and impressions.

I feel the sensation inside my body behind the separation between my second and third abdominal muscle pairs, about two inches over my belly button if I'm in a standing position. It feels sort of like a burning tension centered in that area, although it's uncomfortable rather than painful, and it flares up to varying degrees when I interact or think about interacting with certain people or groups, most recently a specific person, regarding specific arguments or debates. The strength of my reaction depends on my inner state at the time that I interact or think of interacting with that person regarding the debate, and when it is stronger, it is accompanied by shaking, rapid heartbeat/breathing, and a wave of heat that seems to emanate from the solar-plexus "core" I described earlier. This suggests strongly to me that it is a stress response. The first time I ever felt it was when I was taking part in a "religious debate" thread in a forum several years ago (I was arguing my own Christian perspective at the time). I discovered gradually that I was having this strange feeling accompanied by a psychological repulsion, where I didn't want to even return to the discussion to read others' posts, let alone participate further. I didn't have anything more to add, and I stopped participating. In the current situation, I wrote something to which the person mentioned before objected, and they wrote a long response back which I had a very strong inner reaction to, involving the same "inner repulsion" and accompanying sensations. I made it a point to take time from that point on and reconsider each part of the interaction a few times before responding, and I've been trying to observe both my body and mental state as I did so. Some help from a family member helped me realize that there were some self-importance problems on my end, but the fact remains that I continue to experience this reaction in relation to this person.

I don't remember having this reaction to this person in the past. I've found that I seem to be able to counter it by trying to be as present in the current moment as possible while also practicing self observation and trying not to be manipulative. This has resulted in my noticing that the exchanges don't seem to be helpful for either one of us. However, the hotness in the solar plexus still appears and pulses when I think about the situation. It is reactive to the situation.

I'd like to know if others have had this sensation, what does it signify (in physiological and energetic terms), and what is the hot "knot" in the solar plexus, and what action can I take to relieve it? I've speculated that it might be connected to the solar plexus chakra, which the Cassiopaeans said is equivalent with Mouravieff's "Sexual Center", the only "higher center" available to sleeping man, so maybe that provides some clues. For quick reference, here's the Cassiopedia Entry about the Higher Centers.

I'm thankful for any help. I've not done the best job of explaining, I'm afraid.

Hi HowToBe,

I had the same experience with two of my closest friends too... Your assumptions are quite right from the reading of your post.

From those readings I've done, on the internet, it is somewhat connected to the balancing of the yellow ray and the EGO.

From the lecture of your post I must be quite like you. Also in that knowledge can sometimes bring other problems for us as in this particular instance where beliefs of other can start such an emotion (EGO) when compare to what we know.

So in our case, knowledge is a nuisance because we want to be of help to them. You must remember the "law of free will" and, it is up to them to open themselves to other avenues not us in invalidating their beliefs.

Strange enough, by thinking/commenting to your post, I think I solve my problem too...!!!

Hope someone can confirm this?

Wattsup

HowToBe said:

I feel the sensation inside my body behind the separation between my second and third abdominal muscle pairs, about two inches over my belly button if I'm in a standing position. It feels sort of like a burning tension centered in that area, although it's uncomfortable rather than painful, and it flares up to varying degrees when I interact or think about interacting with certain people or groups, most recently a specific person, regarding specific arguments or debates. The strength of my reaction depends on my inner state at the time that I interact or think of interacting with that person regarding the debate, and when it is stronger, it is accompanied by shaking, rapid heartbeat/breathing, and a wave of heat that seems to emanate from the solar-plexus "core" I described earlier. This suggests strongly to me that it is a stress response. The first time I ever felt it was when I was taking part in a "religious debate" thread in a forum several years ago (I was arguing my own Christian perspective at the time). I discovered gradually that I was having this strange feeling accompanied by a psychological repulsion, where I didn't want to even return to the discussion to read others' posts, let alone participate further. I didn't have anything more to add, and I stopped participating. In the current situation, I wrote something to which the person mentioned before objected, and they wrote a long response back which I had a very strong inner reaction to, involving the same "inner repulsion" and accompanying sensations. I made it a point to take time from that point on and reconsider each part of the interaction a few times before responding, and I've been trying to observe both my body and mental state as I did so. Some help from a family member helped me realize that there were some self-importance problems on my end, but the fact remains that I continue to experience this reaction in relation to this person.

I don't remember having this reaction to this person in the past. I've found that I seem to be able to counter it by trying to be as present in the current moment as possible while also practicing self observation and trying not to be manipulative. This has resulted in my noticing that the exchanges don't seem to be helpful for either one of us. However, the hotness in the solar plexus still appears and pulses when I think about the situation. It is reactive to the situation.

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Hi HowToBe,

It sounds like you are noticing your role in the feeding dyanmics which form most relationships. When you "counter" it by trying to self-observe during your interactions with others, perhaps the sensations you are feeling are from an energetic exchange that is taking place? You sense that feeding is going on and that it isn't good for either of you, so you disengage.

My advice to you would be not get too drawn in by thinking of what "it signifies in physiological and energetic terms", but to let these sensations continue to guide you to - and then through - the important self-realisations you are making (highlighted above).

Thank you, wattsup and Knial. Wattsup, I think you are somewhat right, although I wasn't really sharing knowledge so much as trying to convince the other of my opinions, which turned out after each case to be less "important" than I thought they were. Knial has really cut down to what seems to be the core of the matter. I'll try to learn within the situation rather than intellectualizing the matter and thinking like I'm a "third person".

Well, I would like to note that I still get this sensation and still don't know what it is. It only seems to be appear during situations where I'm being put in a position where something I've said is being [threatened, attacked, questioned] (these are the types of words that keep coming to mind as I try to phrase this...). Or, avtually, maybe it's more like it appears in situation where the VALUE of what I've said or done is being questioned. I've experimented with trying to control my emotional state in such situations, but it has never disappeared as a result of such efforts, although it seems to weaken slightly if I spend a few moments doing pipe breath, relaxing, and trying separate my sense of self-worth from the particular thing I have done (usually a post on a forum, but also of course with the individual I mentioned). And yes, I have also experienced it with this forum, although not to the highest degree. Sometimes just the idea of visiting a particular forum will evoke it, particularly when I feel I have an "obligation", either to myself or to others, to participate there (sometimes or even most times to respond to some situation that caused this sensation to be evoked in the first place), and so either I "push through" and go through an uncomfortable process of doing whatever thing I feel I must do while experiencing this feeling, or I just avoid the forum, and the sensation only leaves when the thought of the place has entirely left my mind. In any case, it is definitely associated directly to "situations", maybe it is indeed a measure of feeding, but on whose part? Me, the other party in the interaction, both, or someone/something else? Only today have I realized the possibility that there could be "something else" sucking energy from me in such instances. I don't know.

Some time when it appears and is strong enough for me to feel it acutely, I'm going to try and perform an experiment. I will imagine myself taking different actions in response to the situation that is evoking it, including immediately leaving the situation. No assumptions about how others will react - just taking the action. If there is any variation in the intensity of this feeling, maybe that will be a clue. So far my experience seems to be that if I try to leave the situation, the feeling is waiting for me whenever I return to the person or place associated with that unresolved situation.

It is confusing and troubling. Most of the time I just "push through" it, partially because I'm hoping to gain further understanding of what it is, but no dice either way so far. I can say that since I have stopped seeking communication with the person I mentioned, the strength that this feeling has when I think of him has weakened. At this point it's just a subtle tension that puts me on my toes. The most enlightening discovery has been that after cutting off contact, he did not go out of his way at all to talk to my brother and me. So it's possible that on some level he was just giving us (or trying to give) what we were "asking" for when we went out of our way to talk to him. But that makes sense since he has this "chosen one" syndrome.

OSIT.

HowToBe, I'm leaning towards the idea that this is a program that was developed in your past. You've been humiliated, or devastated by someone in reaction to something you have said, whether it be a parent, teacher or peers. I could be wrong, though.

I am wondering, have you read the
Redirect thread? The writing exercise discussed there, and there is an article about on SOTT, is really helpful in getting to the bottom of traumatic experiences. And to me, having your solar plexus tighten up on you is traumatic, or the result of a traumatic event. The book is even better, and not real expensive. It has other exercises in it that look quite good.

As I said, I could be wrong, but it does not hurt to try this writing exercise. You may find that you end up learning more than you thought you would.

fwiw

I agree with Nienna that it could be a psychosomatic effect caused by some trauma in your past. I actually had the same thing, caused by traumas in my childhood. In addition to the writing exerice that she recommends, the thing that helped me was regular EE practice. I did the full EE session almost every day for close to one year before it dissipated. So that's another thing that you could do if you are not already doing it. FWIW.

HowToBe,

I also tend to agree with Nienna and Bobo. I may be projecting though, because personally I tend to get strong physical sensations associated with certain emotions and situations.

About one to two years ago, I started to have this very strong "ball like" sensation in my chest when doing EE. The sensation wouldn't dissipate, on the contrary, it grew stronger until it would just be felt at any point during the day. Eventually I realized how that physical sensation was the direct result of, in my case, a whole hidden world of repressed feelings. After a lot of inner house cleaning, coupled with diet changes, the ball sensation hasn't manifested in quite a while.
I also noticed that the chest tightness had been my life's theme, so to say, always lingering on the backround waiting for me to notice it, and most often accompanied by anxiety. Interestingly, the "house cleaning" seems to have transformed my anxiety into nausea (yes!) and anger, whereas the chest feeling has moved into my gut, and has a different feel to it. At the moment, everytime I am in a more challenging situation instead of the usual anxiety and chest tightness, I feel a variation of anger versus nausea, with strong gut signals of some sort.

The reason why I posted the above was simply to share with you how my own issues have been manifesting physically, and as they transform, both my behavior and connected physical sensations also transform. This may or not be connected to what is happening with you, I'm inclined to think it is because of how the sensation you described seems to be connected to specific emotions and situations you're involved in, but I could be wrong.

Besides what has already been suggested, have you read Peter Levine's book?. You may want to have a look at it if you haven't done so yet, he explains trauma from the perspective of the physical body, and how it becomes entrenched in it.

I would maybe start by looking closely at what feelings seem to be associated with the sensation you described, as already suggested above, and let that guide you into self discovery. Should you wish to do so, perhaps network about what you start finding at another thread, which, in my experience, can be absolutely crucial for healing.

Also, are you doing EE?

Thanks for the replies. I've not read Levine's book or the Redirect thread, but I will look into them both. Just the other day I ordered the following books:
The Myth of Sanity
ISotM
Life Without Bread
The Ultramind Solution
The Narcissistic Family
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

I have also been trying, off and on, to read The Wave. I'm having trouble doing so, for reasons that aren't entirely clear to me. I have trouble actually getting myself to navigate to the page and read it, even though it is plenty interesting once I have started. I have a very similar, if not same, problem with doing EE; internal opposition often keeps me from it, even though I seem to have noticed benefits when I've done it more regularly. The same opposition applies to this forum and SOTT news as well. My post history will show that I've been fairly absent here for maybe several months, and have mostly only posted occasionally in the "What's on Your Mind" and "Tickle Me" sections.

I am guessing that much of this is indeed associated with trauma. I was somewhat of an outcast child, and I think I was pretty emotionally sensitive. I gradually learned that my anger, yelling, or crying had no effect on the kids who picked on me, so I learned to be stoic and serious, and how not to draw attention and emotional attack. Now that I think of it, I get the impression that I was sort of a magnet for emotional "toying" by these kids. In any case, I'm sure I have a lot to look into there, if I can find out how to approach these sort of things. I'm hoping the books I've bought will help, but I'm also worried about ending up treating them with the same avoidance I mentioned above. I feel like I've fallen pray to some sort of paralysis. That must be because I have. I'm trying to fight it by finally posting about these topics here and admitting my problem, and by ordering the books I mentioned.

I would maybe start by looking closely at what feelings seem to be associated with the sensation you described, as already suggested above, and let that guide you into self discovery. Should you wish to do so, perhaps network about what you start finding at another thread, which, in my experience, can be absolutely crucial for healing.

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I've had a feeling for a while that part of what is "blocking" me could be some sort of subconscious fear of self-discovery. But this is only a vague impression I've had, like there is some sort of "wall" inside me that keeps me from examining part of myself. I suppose that is trauma.

In any case I have been thinking of starting a thread in "The Swamp" to ask for help with this, because I feel like I've come nearly to a standstill, and have slid backward in some respects, such as diet.

EDIT: Added a book that I forgot to list.

HowToBe said:

In any case I have been thinking of starting a thread in "The Swamp" to ask for help with this, because I feel like I've come nearly to a standstill, and have slid backward in some respects, such as diet.

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I think that this is a good thing to do. Maybe it will help get things going for you. Doing what "it" doesn't like to do is very hard, but once we take the initial step, and attempt to continue to fight the program, hopefully, it will become easier.

It really is a fight, too. Remember what the Cs said, there is always a battle going on through us, and it is when we decide to choose that matters.

If you haven't, yet, read the "Redirect" thread and see if you can do the writing exercise. You pick a trauma and write about it for 15 - 20 minutes each day for 3 or 4 days. But read the thread first, at least what Laura has posted on it.

Nienna Eluch said:

HowToBe said:

In any case I have been thinking of starting a thread in "The Swamp" to ask for help with this, because I feel like I've come nearly to a standstill, and have slid backward in some respects, such as diet.

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I think that this is a good thing to do. Maybe it will help get things going for you. Doing what "it" doesn't like to do is very hard, but once we take the initial step, and attempt to continue to fight the program, hopefully, it will become easier.

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I agree. Some of the things that in which sharing greatly helps is that it enables us to see things more objectively. Another thing is that when you have a goal, and a whole group supporting it, being that goal self healing from trauma, diet, or any other, it is so much easier to stay on track! It really is!

About the fear of self discovery, when you equate the two things: living in the darkness for fear of what you may find out and entering a downward spiral of more fear and other usually associated self diminishing feelings (which will tend to grow), versus seeing things for what they are with the knowledge and strength that you may gain from that, it may help to put this issue under a different perspective :)?

This isn't to say that overwhelming ourselves is the way to go, at all, but rather that you may achieve surprising results by proceeding gradually, opening a door here and there and checking what is behind it, stopping when needed to process new information so as to respect your natural inner pace and be able to constantly self monitor what is going on inside.

Gertrudes said:

About the fear of self discovery, when you equate the two things: living in the darkness for fear of what you may find out and entering a downward spiral of more fear and other usually associated self diminishing feelings (which will tend to grow), versus seeing things for what they are with the knowledge and strength that you may gain from that, it may help to put this issue under a different perspective :)?

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You could be right about the fear of self discovery. Discovering the self is a LOT of work, and lots of times it's easier to just avoid it. As for any blockages, I'm sure you know EE can help with that. So I'd try and push yourself to do the EE, and maybe the rest will come easier.

Mrs. Peel said:

Gertrudes said:

About the fear of self discovery, when you equate the two things: living in the darkness for fear of what you may find out and entering a downward spiral of more fear and other usually associated self diminishing feelings (which will tend to grow), versus seeing things for what they are with the knowledge and strength that you may gain from that, it may help to put this issue under a different perspective :)?

Click to expand...

You could be right about the fear of self discovery. Discovering the self is a LOT of work, and lots of times it's easier to just avoid it. As for any blockages, I'm sure you know EE can help with that. So I'd try and push yourself to do the EE, and maybe the rest will come easier.

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Yes. The most frustrating "chronic" issue I'm dealing with is this: It is easy to see what I need to do during the times when I feel most depressed and unable to do those things, which is most often when I have stayed up too late to do EE properly, or just after I have gorged on bad foods, or otherwise allowed an important choice to get past me and procrastination or selfishness have won out.

A while back I was trying to apply self-remembering and was avoiding sugar and wheat with relatively fair success. I was doing EE at least once or twice a week, and I was going for walks occasionally. This was all accompanied by some improvements in how I managed some of my responsibilities. I was making meals more regularly, I was able to do chores without having to spend time arguing internally about whether to do them or not. This is hardly to say that there wasn't plenty of room for improvement, but I felt that I was growing and my actions and environment were confirming this. Then I crashed, and this is what I don't understand. It is not like my responsibilities were too great; make food for the three of us (typically one or two meals a day), do dishes as necessary, take care of the cats, and make a grocery run occasionally. It's not like I've just dropped those jobs, either. I still do them, and the new habits that I was able to form during my time of growth still serve me, but I have suddenly found myself mostly unable to motivate myself to avoid bad foods, do EE, read SOTT, the forum, or The Wave, or get to be at a reasonable and regular time. I am unhappy and feel like I'm moving nowhere. The phrase "I am disintegrating" comes to mind. I feel like I'm unraveling, somehow.

The issue with diet I have mentioned before. Our budget got tight and we were forced to get cheaper foods, and so I think part of the problem is that I feel like I should be providing money to the family so that we can eat properly, and it makes me feel very guilty. But I don't know how to make money; I've never had any adult example, . In any case, that situation hasn't completely let up, and my mom is not convinced that we would save money by moving to the fat-based diet. I mean, she understand the idea of long-term savings in terms of health costs and maybe eating less once we were adapted, and she wants to be healthy and have a clear head, but she is convinced that the cost of the food while we were adapting would be too much for us to bear as it is. Roughly quoting, "Eating healthy won't help us if we lose the roof over our heads." Usually this is the hardest time of year for us, due to economic cycles and my dad's job. I'm finding it hard because I don't enjoy cooking, and I don't know how to eat in a relatively healthy way in our situation. I just cook meat and veggies and try to make sure some butter makes its way in. It doesn't help that I don't honestly trust my mom's appraisal of the situation (I wonder if she's wrong, but fear that she's right, and remain paralyzed).

I've mentioned some of this in other threads, and some people contributed with useful suggestions, but I'm not being able to practice them because of the circumstances I've tried to explain here.

Oh, and I think it's important that I mention that when I "crashed" I initially fell back into playing video games, but gradually those have lost interest for me; something in my mind has changed, maybe from the self-remembering attempts and EE causing me to be naturally more aware of the futility of the games. In any case, I've still been basically playing games, but the number of games I can stand to play for more than a few minutes has been continually shrinking. This ties into the depression, I think; I've been running out of dissociative excuses for avoiding the things I feel like I should really be doing, so my inner state is gradually reducing to simple fear paralysis and a feeling of powerlessness and waste.

My current guess is that maybe during the period of growth I mentioned EE brought something near to the surface, which then reacted to the money situation and now I'm tied up in this reactive knot of fear. The tricky part is that "it" manages to subtly steer me clear of doing anything important, and then before I know it, I've been up 4 to 10 hours past my bedtime (I have a talent for staying awake), and I'm too tired and braindead to do the important things like EE, but it is only at this time that I realize I ought to have done EE hours earlier.

However, I know that there ARE little opportunities when I can overpower these feelings and make small steps, so I'm trying to do so now that I've finally decided to work out this mess. First thing is to try and get on track with EE. I guess that's the one thing I'm going to try and get myself to do, since in the past I've noticed that after a session of EE my "free will" seems to be stronger for a few days. Maybe getting on track with that will help everything along.

HowToBe said:

However, I know that there ARE little opportunities when I can overpower these feelings and make small steps, so I'm trying to do so now that I've finally decided to work out this mess. First thing is to try and get on track with EE. I guess that's the one thing I'm going to try and get myself to do, since in the past I've noticed that after a session of EE my "free will" seems to be stronger for a few days. Maybe getting on track with that will help everything along.

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I see actions like a snowball. Once you make a choice, either voluntary or by default, it is only easy for you to carry on on whichever path the action leads. That can be both self destructive, or health enhancing. Taking small steps is important, as much as it is persisting. You will fall back into bad habits, that's normal, but being able not to enter a self blame loop that will lock you into labelling yourself as a looser, or something similar, is extremely important.

Sometimes when I fall, I actually ignore it and just carry on, almost as if I hadn't fallen. I do acknowledge it, but I try not to dwell. To be honest, I'm not sure this is the "right" way to go, if there is such a thing....but it does seem to help. I don't know, I suppose that there is a limit into how much one can become introspective and think about something with good results, beyond that, I find that I enter into all sorts of self destructive thought loops when in fact, I just need to ACT/DO. I'll fall again, but I'll try to keep doing, and if I find myself getting stuck in zero progression, then I may have to re access my previous conclusions and become a bit more introspective again.
I think that in the end it is about where your focus is, you want to acknowledge the fall but without lingering on it. Too much dwelling and you'll tend to get stuck, at least from my experience.

One thing that you may also want to put at the very top of your "to do" list, is to address your sleeping patterns. Going to bed 4 to 10 hours past your bed time is a great deal of time and it will, without doubt, affect you negatively. I can totally relate though, HowToBe, I have struggled for most of my life with getting myself to bed at a reasonable time. What I began to do was to set my alarm clock for really early, despite the time I went to bed, which gradually began to help me normalize my sleep.

On the subject of giving yourself achievable concrete goals, there is this post in The Adaptive Unconscious thread that I found particularly inspiring. It talks about how Benjamin Franklin set himself a few goals that concerned developing certain character traits. Maybe it will also give you some food for thought.

Edit: added a few sentences

Gertrudes said:

I don't know, I suppose that there is a limit into how much one can become introspective and think about something with good results, beyond that, I find that I enter into all sorts of self destructive thought loops when in fact, I just need to ACT/DO. I'll fall again, but I'll try to keep doing, and if I find myself getting stuck in zero progression, then I may have to re access my previous conclusions and become a bit more introspective again.

...

One thing that you may also want to put at the very top of your "to do" list, is to address your sleeping patterns. Going to bed 4 to 10 hours past your bed time is a great deal of time and it will, without doubt, affect you negatively. I can totally relate though, HowToBe, I have struggled for most of my life with getting myself to bed at a reasonable time. What I began to do was to set my alarm clock for really early, despite the time I went to bed, which gradually began to help me normalize my sleep.

...

On the subject of giving yourself achievable concrete goals, there is this post in The Adaptive Unconscious thread that I found particularly inspiring. It talks about how Benjamin Franklin set himself a few goals that concerned developing certain character traits. Maybe it will also give you some food for thought.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the encouragement and suggestions, Gertrudes. What you say makes sense, and I have noticed that getting myself to actually DO things is a weak spot for me. And yes, sleep is very important. Mostly I lose sleep when I get into a very dissociative mode, and I must improve at avoiding this. The alarm clock idea may prove useful.

Also, the post About Benjamin Franklin and character traits is indeed inspiring. That's something I feel like I've lost my grip on somewhat; I'm among those who was raised with religious ideas and then "grew out of" the standard dogma because I was guided by the notion of an "ultimate truth" and my intuitions/reasonings about the properties that this truth must have (and also the corresponding qualities that a "True" God would have to have). I eventually had to acknowledge the possibility (and later the probability) that the Bible could not be the complete or only Truth; otherwise, why would all of this other stuff exist; why would we have a daily life full of personal and complicated choices? Anyway, I have had the feeling that my work on developing virtues has fallen by the wayside somewhat ever since I lost that external source of "duty/obligation", and I've wondered how to regain the "vigor" I previously had (or maybe I only think I had it) in trying to improve myself. Obviously I need to think more about this, and creating a "regimen" of sorts and maybe keeping a notebook is something I had not deeply considered.

Thanks again (to everyone). :)
I'll try out the writing exercise soon.