Hope, fear and the future

Quote from: KJN on January 24, 2016, 04:41:16 AM

I think there is something within us that gathers up, records and organizes our thoughts and experiences—every time we look at the sky or move a blade of grass or run our hand over the hair of a sleeping child. We continually accumulate tidbits of information that nudge our being into being. That we are capable of collecting, experiencing, knowing—with the ability to utilize what we know—becomes a canvas that depicts the ever-changing essence of a growing self in relation to all that is ‘not self’ or ‘not yet self.’

Perhaps we find layers upon layers to be uncovered, discovered. Maybe we await a definition, an accumulation of information, experiences, choices that seem unrelated until something connects and something jogs into place or becomes an element of our ‘self,’ now incorporated and alive.

That we are able to define, and more often redefine, aspects of ourselves gives hope and purpose to whatever this life process is and whatever we may become because of it. Perhaps something/someone/someday will benefit from all our efforts, and the grand mosaic of our individual experiences will connect in ways we can’t imagine, but even if not, it is THE experience we have chosen, a lesser one we cannot and should not accept.

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I have only recently found this thread and stopped all other study as I found it so profound and essential reading. Thank you for such timely comments. Each and every one has been important, and what I feel, personally, EVERYTHING is all about. The whole combination of your comments - very very precious.

I am also so grateful for the Prayer of The Soul, because to me this is an eternal reminder of why I am here - to serve/help/be of best use to the Universe - DCM in the best way I can. This, to me is about people, others, relationships - external - as people have said. (And, to try to discard inner selfishness). I feel the return and return, just to do the same, even if that is not the case, is well worth it. After all, nothing is lost IMO, as all we can take with us, or utilize in the best way possible, is KNOWLEDGE. What is to fear about that? How many people have even stumbled upon that concept? To be able to strive to be as selfless as Laura, the C's (even if they do not exist, they are super role models), Caesar, Putin etc etc stops the negative chatter. But to ponder on the 'what if's' is also good - the polarities - to not do so would not be human or objective either. It is allowing 'them/chatter' to create inner fear that does the damage - but then investigating that fear, the cause of it, is what gaining Knowledge (light/love) is about? Then after springs the hope (inner strength). IMHO

So much to say - but I totally agree with Joe here - I would only be quoting Laura!!! As I do externally on a daily basis. :) :)

Such a wonderful post happyliza. Thanks for sharing. This entire thread has certainly affirmed for me that I've come to the right place. We continue to grow by sharing our internal dialogues and our knowledge. As the C's say, "network".

Regarding the 'future' part of this: Oh my - the video on the SOTT page of Sinkholes is SUPERB. Really emotional as well as informational - clicks on all cylinders. It ends with the idea that 'this is only the beginning', meaning things are going to REALLY heat up as the earth's rotation slows. (the future) The vids of people falling in the sinkholes was way disturbing - but that's a reality we all have to live with. And there is nothing like taking the blinders off. Scary but, hey, it's objective reality. So, it was like a glimpse into the future. The very holy-sounding music track was a fantastic counterpoint. It evoked something deep in me. Kind of 'the end is nigh' feeling. But it wasn't dreadful - it was - hopeful! (in a very odd way given the increasing chaos that seems to be in the future) Yes, prepare physically, but even more - prepare the soul. The ultimate good news / bad news. It is hard to express. Kind of like the 'today is a good day to die" speech. The hyperkinetic Feeling.

Aragorn said:

I've been thinking what kind of "karmic debt" or "past life experience" might have caused this terrible fear of dying. During the session with Patrick and Heather, there was an interesting comment by Heather. She said, that the underlying feeling/thought se could sense in me was: "I don't want to be born as my father, again." The emphasis was on the word 'again'. I've been thinking about this a lot, and the only thing I can come up with is that perhaps I've been "recycling" numerous times, and still always making the same mistakes (my father would represent failure), not learning my lessons. So, "I don't want to be born as my father, again" would translate into: "I don't want to rebound to this life, again!". And, if I speculate further, perhaps I wanted to reincarnate into my dysfunctional family, so as to get that billboard falling on my head saying "Remember? You're supposed to learn this time!"

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Good point. I originally wrote the comment on sott because the iodine brought up these feelings of being stuck here again and again. When I had my session with Patrick and Heather, my past life was a man who was a part of a group fighting for truth during the inquisition, only to realize that people don't want to know the truth- being sold out by those who he and the group tried to help. I can't but help fear this happening soon, if we do descend deeper into fascism. I don't want to return. I think my past life lead to this one because of idealistic hope that people will wake up. But in this information age where people are not as restricted by being limited to newspapers/tv/radio sources, we see people in general still seek those authority sources. Argh, but it's a helpful realization!

As Joe wrote and others shared it seems that the hope is not really with helping humanity, but those who ask. It's still hard to take in as the world seems to go crazier and crazier. It's even hard to find out who is really asking, maybe because of the high potentials we see in them. As a session mentioned "pity those that pity". Easier said than done!

Thanks Laura for the post. It is worth it even if it were a set up, what we have went through is something creative and new. Without it, maybe we still would be holding onto these dreams imposed on us by society and reincarnating again and again. It's the questioning that opens up possibilities, not the answers!

In a sott radio chat, Seaniebawn linked me to a helpful wikipedia article that addresses the absurdity of life.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus

It is not the world that is absurd, nor human thought: the absurd arises when the human need to understand meets the unreasonableness of the world, when "my appetite for the absolute and for unity" meets "the impossibility of reducing this world to a rational and reasonable principle."

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It reminds me of pitying those that pity. We have this expectation that things should be fair and just. In this reality, that is subjective- wishful thinking. It's as ignorant as thinking that a barren desert should have trees planted. Forgive the crudeness of the analogy, but it helps me remember what seems to be a big lesson of physicality- to learn objective vs subjective!

Sisyphus, just like the absurd man, keeps pushing. Camus claims that when Sisyphus acknowledges the futility of his task and the certainty of his fate, he is freed to realize the absurdity of his situation and to reach a state of contented acceptance. With a nod to the similarly cursed Greek hero Oedipus, Camus concludes that "all is well," indeed, that "one must imagine Sisyphus happy."

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I think that in the case of this reality, the state of contented acceptance would be upon death. Without the appetite "for the absolute and unity" anchored here, we would stop deciding or feeling the need to come back and "make things better".

I don't think any of this negates the small hope of the individuals like us who are working on waking up. It just shifts the feeling from disappointment and anger (that this world may not change) to a simpler goal which offers more gratitude- that we have gone so far and are helping some in questioning this madhouse reality!

The following quote reminded me this thread and the discussion of Faith and Hope. It also resonates very much with how i see the function of the Work here.

“Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.”

- Rabindranath Tagore

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(there appears to be two translations but this is the clearest)

itellsya said:

The following quote reminded me this thread and the discussion of Faith and Hope. It also resonates very much with how i see the function of the Work here.

“Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.”

- Rabindranath Tagore

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(there appears to be two translations but this is the clearest)

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In a similar vein, the above reminds of this part of a poem by Emily Dickinson -

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all

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Joe said:

Well, if you're looking for the original and current real trail blazer, you need look no further than Laura. It's pretty clear to me that, while Laura is very gracious in her words above, none of the insights from members on this thread would have been possible without her. Those insights are, in fact, Laura's insights, that the rest of us have been fortunate enough to stumble across and hugely benefit from. In addition, that this forum exists for these thoughts to be collected is also the product of the decades of work and suffering in which Laura has willingly engaged, for the benefit of others.
I understand that it is very gratifying for Laura to see the fruits of her labors, and I'm really happy that she has a chance to see it, but I doubt her "humbledness" can compare with mine, at everything she has given and continues to give. I am eternally grateful to her and the universe (and whoever else was responsible in any way) for the fact that Laura exists.

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I really appreciate that, the great Laura's work and all who contribute, I'm still very new here and many times I can hardly express what I feel, or even feel at all, even more to share with people without being able to see them and in a language other than mine, but despite that I feel something special just reading your words in the forum.
I am just in chapter 26 of The wave, and I believe that from all concepts the one that I understand better, beyond the intellectual, it is no anticipation, I'm not afraid to follow this path, but usually I try to see different perspectives, precisely at the time that Laura wrote this in the forum I was thinking about it

Laura said:

A visitor once asked me what would I do if, at some point in the future, it was revealed that the Cs and everything they have revealed were a fraud - a government psi-op or some higher beings having fun at the expense of me and humanity. I thought about it for a few minutes, "tried it on" as a possibility, and then concluded that it wouldn't change anything because what I have learned about myself, other people, what people have been able to come together and find some answers and comfort as a result of sharing, still has value. And, what is more, if I had to go forward from that point, I still would because I CHOOSE to.

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and I realize too if this were a bizarre joke it would be worth the effort anyway, what I want is a real, true experience. I don't mind being "saved" or move to 4D but simply do everything I can and worth, learn alongside great people like you. About a possible collapse or catastrophe, I don't see it as a bad thing, perhaps because I figure it, as many do, as the only possibility for real change or the way to bring down the curtain of the theater in which we live.

The hardest thing for me is to achieve the balance (I think that's the big lesson) between the concepts that I learn in The Wave and other readings and how to put it into practice, how to achieve that acceptance of the world as it is doesn't become laziness for trying something better or as Alejo said to feel or empathize with what is happening in the world don't become paralyzing emotions, and what to do, how to do, how to follow this path without anticipating. I still have doubts about what actions to prioritize but as the C's and other teachings say the most important thing is the path not the goal, if I don't have enough time to learn all the lessons of this life it will be because I still have to spend more lives for that

At least that's what I feel now, I'll see but I'm glad to be here :)

Joe said:

Odyssey said:

The other night I was feeling sad about the bleakness of the world and how it is kind of a sorry state to be a human being. In a way it was probably like a profound feeling of being disconnected from ...the source or truth and love?? And will there ever be anything better? Will I ever be anything better? I was thinking that we are born alone and we die alone essentially. No one can occupy your body with you and have the same experiences that you do. The words, "There is no escape," kept running through my mind. No amount of dissociation, no matter how positive it may seem, will alleviate this state of things. There is no running away and I won't be rescued.

I figured the only way to deal with this is to make peace with it and know that the only way we can alleviate this loneliness and disconnection is with other beings through physical contact and meaningful conversation and interaction. By sharing. Really sharing. Not a bunch of fake, surface-y stuff but giving all that we can.

So thanks for writing the above post, Laura. If this is all there is, then so be it. It is the choice to find meaning in this life that matters.

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This feeling of disconnection is a necessary part of the process. It is seeing the truth of the human condition. Most people never allow such thoughts to enter into their conscious minds to be reflected on. On the contrary, they shove them under the rug at every opportunity, and with all sorts of "distractions". While it feels depressing Odyssey, realise that it is through this awareness, and sitting with it, that you provide yourself with the motivation and will to create something real, something lasting, something new.

It is through our relationships with others that we suffer. But it is also through our relationships with others, depending on how we handle them, that we can come to know ourselves and others, and, with the right people, know ourselves AS others and vice versa. A shared and common aim, a shared and common struggle, shared and common suffering, leading to shared sense of belonging, shared knowledge and understanding, and through that, joy.

Others, fellow souls, are a representation of life, of the universe. Give to them, build connections with them, and you give and build connections to life and to the universe. The universe is like a lover in waiting. It can't give that love until you recognize that it is there and send out the signal that you are ready.

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I'm not sure when this started, maybe since I had the "dark man" dream a few weeks ago, or maybe since watching that horrible animal abuse video.. or everything else I've read/watched... but underneath everything, I feel deep sadness recently. I can cry at anything. I got into bed the other night, and was sobbing with the thoughts of "what's the point?" and not understanding why I'm here and why we're all here. I was just thinking that I didn't want to be here anymore, that I just wanted it all to stop.

I had an argument with my manager the other day, and it really upset me. Seeing how disconnected people are from each other, and how disconnected I feel to everybody else. It's as if the more I learn, the more lonely I feel. I can't fully explain this deep sadness, it's not making me unhappy or depressed, it's just this honest deep feeling that if I talk about it, I cry and get emotional within a few seconds. The thoughts change from the state of the world, the abuse of the animal and human kind, to my own progression and subjective view, my programs etc.

When I was crying that night in bed, I was just observing all these parts of myself that wanted to project or create something from this sad feeling. I was crying even more when I saw all that, and realized how different I recently have felt.. It's difficult not to turn it completely subjective and let it entrench me. I know it's part of progression, but jeez it gets hard sometimes. It does make me appreciate the small things a hella lot more. I was even eating chicken before, and was realizing that this chicken probably had a really bad life. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about all those humans out there dying and being murdered etcetc..

I still feel as though I can't explain it fully, but I guess you can't put this feeling into words and maybe a part of me wants to just get rid of it, rather than just sitting with it and realizing this is what it is..

[quote author= Lilyalic]I was just thinking that I didn't want to be here anymore, that I just wanted it all to stop.[/quote]

I wish I could say the right comforting words but I can't. Lately I am telling myself the same things and I can't find the answers. All I can say is that that depression can lead to soul growth, It forces us to ask the right necessary questions about ourselves and life. Questions that couldn't be asked otherwise.



[quote author= Lilyalic]I got into bed the other night, and was sobbing with the thoughts of "what's the point?" and not understanding why I'm here and why we're all here.[/quote]

[quote author= Lilyalic]I couldn't stop thinking about all those humans out there dying and being murdered etcetc..[/quote]

True empathy should fuel us. Not beat us down. Tho, 'episodes' like this seem to be natural, especially when we feel so powerless about the whole ordeal. I believe that Doing something about it is the cure, no matter how small. Luckily this group offers that.



[quote author= Lilyalic]When I was crying that night in bed, I was just observing all these parts of myself that wanted to project or create something from this sad feeling.[/quote]

We can block out our own pain by delving in the suffering of others. It's a coping mechanism. It may be something to look into? What it could mean is that you have a lot to process. Of-course the state of the world is horrible. But to do anything about it we also have to deal with our own pain. Don't forget about yourself.



[quote author= Lilyalic]Seeing how disconnected people are from each other, and how disconnected I feel to everybody else. It's as if the more I learn, the more lonely I feel
[/quote]

I feel more alone when I am with people than when I am actually alone.

But do you rather have a relationship with the truth or with people? The world has been split in two and the overwhelming majority sided with self-serving ignorance. They reject the truth and even harder reject the people who tell it. When the opportunity arises I try to creatively wake others up. But it seems that people have made their choose.

Loneliness seems somewhat of a healthy consequence in a world that has gone totally insane. Fascism is now even on the rise. I rather be alone than engage with people who are bound to choose the wrong side of history.

I might be wrong here with my whole approach. And I have the impression that me feeling alone has to do with a lack of someone who can accept me without being forced to keep secrets. We all want someone like that I suppose. Maybe I just have to get over myself. I don't know, I wish I could give you the answer :(

Lilyalic said:

I'm not sure when this started, maybe since I had the "dark man" dream a few weeks ago, or maybe since watching that horrible animal abuse video.. or everything else I've read/watched... but underneath everything, I feel deep sadness recently. I can cry at anything. I got into bed the other night, and was sobbing with the thoughts of "what's the point?" and not understanding why I'm here and why we're all here. I was just thinking that I didn't want to be here anymore, that I just wanted it all to stop.

I had an argument with my manager the other day, and it really upset me. Seeing how disconnected people are from each other, and how disconnected I feel to everybody else. It's as if the more I learn, the more lonely I feel. I can't fully explain this deep sadness, it's not making me unhappy or depressed, it's just this honest deep feeling that if I talk about it, I cry and get emotional within a few seconds. The thoughts change from the state of the world, the abuse of the animal and human kind, to my own progression and subjective view, my programs etc.

When I was crying that night in bed, I was just observing all these parts of myself that wanted to project or create something from this sad feeling. I was crying even more when I saw all that, and realized how different I recently have felt.. It's difficult not to turn it completely subjective and let it entrench me. I know it's part of progression, but jeez it gets hard sometimes. It does make me appreciate the small things a hella lot more. I was even eating chicken before, and was realizing that this chicken probably had a really bad life. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about all those humans out there dying and being murdered etcetc..

I still feel as though I can't explain it fully, but I guess you can't put this feeling into words and maybe a part of me wants to just get rid of it, rather than just sitting with it and realizing this is what it is..

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I know how you feel Lilyalic as do many others here. But on the 'bright' side, anything that makes us stop and recognize and be grateful for the "small things" is valuable. After all, there are lots more "small things" in life than "big things", and those small things are very often the only truly real things in life, i.e. the things we can can have an influence on. Sadly, most people in this world are actively encourage to go after the 'big' illusions, the things over which they really don't have any control, or may soon be taken from them.

The question of "what's the point?" seems to be a very common and almost timeless question that human beings have asked, perhaps in particular at times like these when everything in the world seems to be conspiring to force us to ask that question. The senselessness of what is happening in and to our world would leave the most insightful minds wondering what the point is. In short, it all seems to be going to hell, and the essence of everything in this world seems to be on full display all the time, in particular the essence of those with the most power.

I'm not sure what the answer to that question is though. We have an idea from the Cs, but the problem is that it's not really an answer that we can be totally sure about because it posits things of which most of us have no direct experience. So for me, the hard part isn't only wondering what the point is, but also having a tantalizing answer given, but still being unable to know for sure if it's the truth.

So in the absence of any certainty about the big things, I suppose, as you said, we can focus our attention on the small things in our daily lives that make life a little easier for ourselves and others.

One thing that has helped me, and I admit it is a bit of a platitude, (although it's also pretty true) is that the way we feel in any given moment or hour or day or week, doesn't last. We don't stay with any one particular perspective for very long. That seems to be evidence of some kind of progress or process. Where it's going no one really knows, so we just have to resolve to try and stay focused in the moment as much as possible and take things as they come. I mean, what else is there to do!?

This is a terrific thread which I've bookmarked for rereading. Thanks everyone for sharing your genuine thoughts, feelings and profound insights. It deeply resonates with where I'm at and it reminds me that I've come to the right place and I'm in great company.

Joe said:

.......
The question of "what's the point?" seems to be a very common and almost timeless question that human beings have asked, perhaps in particular at times like these when everything in the world seems to be conspiring to force us to ask that question. The senselessness of what is happening in and to our world would leave the most insightful minds wondering what the point is. In short, it all seems to be going to hell, and the essence of everything in this world seems to be on full display all the time, in particular the essence of those with the most power.

I'm not sure what the answer to that question is though. We have an idea from the Cs, but the problem is that it's not really an answer that we can be totally sure about because it posits things of which most of us have no direct experience. So for me, the hard part isn't only wondering what the point is, but also having a tantalizing answer given, but still being unable to know for sure if it's the truth.

So in the absence of any certainty about the big things, I suppose, as you said, we can focus our attention on the small things in our daily lives that make life a little easier for ourselves and others.

One thing that has helped me, and I admit it is a bit of a platitude, (although it's also pretty true) is that the way we feel in any given moment or hour or day or week, doesn't last. We don't stay with any one particular perspective for very long. That seems to be evidence of some kind of progress or process. Where it's going no one really knows, so we just have to resolve to try and stay focused in the moment as much as possible and take things as they come. I mean, what else is there to do!?

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I'm going through the same ups and downs - all I can do is to modulate my emotional- mental- physical answers. It's true - they wouldn't last unless I get wrapped up in self-centered ways.

The hexagram No. 28 in the IChing, has an answer as to choosing a workable attitude:

http://deoxy.org/iching

Extraordinary times when the great preponderates are like flood times when
the lake rises over the treetops. But such conditions are temporary. The two
trigrams indicate the attitude proper to such exceptional times: the symbol of
the trigram Sun is the tree, which stands firm even though it stands alone,
and the attribute of Tui is joyousness, which remains undaunted even if it
must renounce the world.

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This is the essence of non-attachment - do all you can in your chosen work, but do not cling to rewards, gratitude - neither get sad because of rejection, loss, loneliness. ALL these shall pass. Just be aware to avoid repeating dysfunctional patterns.

I'm going through the though process of adopting non-attachment in my personal life (I know, world events bear more weight), but these are in my reach and here I can do my share of work. All I can do is to do my best, and have one unweighted faith that, somehow, I'll be able to stay on the right path in these times of abrupt changes. I wish I could contribute with more insightful information for the forum.

Lilyalic said:

I had an argument with my manager the other day, and it really upset me. Seeing how disconnected people are from each other, and how disconnected I feel to everybody else. It's as if the more I learn, the more lonely I feel. I can't fully explain this deep sadness, it's not making me unhappy or depressed, it's just this honest deep feeling that if I talk about it, I cry and get emotional within a few seconds. The thoughts change from the state of the world, the abuse of the animal and human kind, to my own progression and subjective view, my programs etc.

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Well, there is no one specific solution. Not sure if there is a solution at all. But here are several things that help me dealing with similar emotions when they happen.

What I've found useful is putting in context my feelings about everything that is happening in the World at the moment. The truth is, humanity, or at least a fraction of it, was always cruel, both to fellow humans and animals. Circumstances and degree of cruelty/suffering among various nations that populated the World varied, but the darker aspect of our existence was always present. It just took different forms.

Meaning, that it is quite possible that if we were born in a different era, we would be plagued by similar thoughts. The main thing that is different, that now, thanks to technology, we can be aware of the suffering that is happening far away from us. On the other hand, our emotional center is more asleep, so it probably balances the intensity of the experience somewhat.

Another thing that is useful to keep in mind, that getting rid of illusions involves going through a painful, grief like, process. Yes, it feels overwhelming, or perhaps even feels that we are going through something extraordinary. Well, considering all the people around us, it IS extraordinary, but that is because many people never question themselves and their perceptions. Everyone who does sometimes has to go through this necessary "purging" period. This also helps to put things in perspective.

What also helps is to remember that "this too will pass", and treat the period of heightened emotions as "the storm" that will pass at some point, we just need to hold on. Don't know if you are aware of the "mercury retrograde" concept, but if you believe in this sort of thing, it is said that during those periods it is best not to make decisions, sign contacts, or do anything definite about the future. What can be done is finishing the projects that you already started and also contemplating in general on things that you already know.

And I think that similar principles could be applied during "emotionally chaotic" periods. If you are on a ship and there is a storm going on, you don't go against the storm and try to sail in the needed direction, no matter what. You just batten the hatches, hold tight to the mast, and see where the storm takes you. In fact, trying to stop the emotional storm, or paying too much attention to the "symptoms" can actually prolong and exacerbate the process. Basically, it isn't about the storm per se, but what you are going to do with it, and how you are going to utilize its energy after it has passed.

Hope it makes sense, and big hug to you and everyone else who goes through difficult times.

Joe said:

I know how you feel Lilyalic as do many others here. But on the 'bright' side, anything that makes us stop and recognize and be grateful for the "small things" is valuable. After all, there are lots more "small things" in life than "big things", and those small things are very often the only truly real things in life, i.e. the things we can can have an influence on. Sadly, most people in this world are actively encourage to go after the 'big' illusions, the things over which they really don't have any control, or may soon be taken from them.

The question of "what's the point?" seems to be a very common and almost timeless question that human beings have asked, perhaps in particular at times like these when everything in the world seems to be conspiring to force us to ask that question. The senselessness of what is happening in and to our world would leave the most insightful minds wondering what the point is. In short, it all seems to be going to hell, and the essence of everything in this world seems to be on full display all the time, in particular the essence of those with the most power.

I'm not sure what the answer to that question is though. We have an idea from the Cs, but the problem is that it's not really an answer that we can be totally sure about because it posits things of which most of us have no direct experience. So for me, the hard part isn't only wondering what the point is, but also having a tantalizing answer given, but still being unable to know for sure if it's the truth.

So in the absence of any certainty about the big things, I suppose, as you said, we can focus our attention on the small things in our daily lives that make life a little easier for ourselves and others.

One thing that has helped me, and I admit it is a bit of a platitude, (although it's also pretty true) is that the way we feel in any given moment or hour or day or week, doesn't last. We don't stay with any one particular perspective for very long. That seems to be evidence of some kind of progress or process. Where it's going no one really knows, so we just have to resolve to try and stay focused in the moment as much as possible and take things as they come. I mean, what else is there to do!?

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Yeah the small things seem to be all that keeps us going. For instance, we had a jam session here last night with singing and guitars and that was really fun - I can understand why karaoke is an important thing!

I can also totally understand why many humans ask what the point is, and how easy it is to fall unconscious and just worry about immediate situations in their lives, not expanding that to the rest of humanity. Because, if you did expand that, like we have here, you're just taunted with thousands more questions than that of "who should I marry? what job should I have?". In this reality, those questions still stand with everyday life as well as all the others. It really is the "fourth way" as G has said so many times.

You're right, one of the hardest parts is having been giving an idea of the answer, but still not knowing for sure. :/ It's a sad thought, but also with a sense of adventure although that sense is hard to feel when you just want answers!

That also helped me, knowing that this feeling wouldn't last forever. But at the same time, it also upset me and I'm not sure why. I was thinking "this will be my life, and the life of many others" - ups and downs, progression etc. So yes, the small things carry the most weight I think in this perspective, especially with other forum members here.

Keit said:

Well, there is no one specific solution. Not sure if there is a solution at all. But here are several things that help me dealing with similar emotions when they happen.

What I've found useful is putting in context my feelings about everything that is happening in the World at the moment. The truth is, humanity, or at least a fraction of it, was always cruel, both to fellow humans and animals. Circumstances and degree of cruelty/suffering among various nations that populated the World varied, but the darker aspect of our existence was always present. It just took different forms.

Meaning, that it is quite possible that if we were born in a different era, we would be plagued by similar thoughts. The main thing that is different, that now, thanks to technology, we can be aware of the suffering that is happening far away from us. On the other hand, our emotional center is more asleep, so it probably balances the intensity of the experience somewhat.

Another thing that is useful to keep in mind, that getting rid of illusions involves going through a painful, grief like, process. Yes, it feels overwhelming, or perhaps even feels that we are going through something extraordinary. Well, considering all the people around us, it IS extraordinary, but that is because many people never question themselves and their perceptions. Everyone who does sometimes has to go through this necessary "purging" period. This also helps to put things in perspective.

What also helps is to remember that "this too will pass", and treat the period of heightened emotions as "the storm" that will pass at some point, we just need to hold on. Don't know if you are aware of the "mercury retrograde" concept, but if you believe in this sort of thing, it is said that during those periods it is best not to make decisions, sign contacts, or do anything definite about the future. What can be done is finishing the projects that you already started and also contemplating in general on things that you already know.

And I think that similar principles could be applied during "emotionally chaotic" periods. If you are on a ship and there is a storm going on, you don't go against the storm and try to sail in the needed direction, no matter what. You just batten the hatches, hold tight to the mast, and see where the storm takes you. In fact, trying to stop the emotional storm, or paying too much attention to the "symptoms" can actually prolong and exacerbate the process. Basically, it isn't about the storm per se, but what you are going to do with it, and how you are going to utilize its energy after it has passed.

Hope it makes sense, and big hug to you and everyone else who goes through difficult times.

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This reminded me of the whole "choosing to love both sides of humanity, evil and good" - when I first read that I thought, I don't want to love the evil! - but without the "evil" or both sides of the ying-yang so to speak, there would be nothing to see. I could even go as far as, there wouldn't be much to learn.

When we're feeling like this, we do have the opportunity to share it on here with many like-minded folks, rather than suffering with this alone. Which is a "bright" side of it

Thank you for your words Keit, :)

Lilyalic said:

I'm not sure when this started, maybe since I had the "dark man" dream a few weeks ago, or maybe since watching that horrible animal abuse video.. or everything else I've read/watched... but underneath everything, I feel deep sadness recently. I can cry at anything. I got into bed the other night, and was sobbing with the thoughts of "what's the point?" and not understanding why I'm here and why we're all here. I was just thinking that I didn't want to be here anymore, that I just wanted it all to stop.

I had an argument with my manager the other day, and it really upset me. Seeing how disconnected people are from each other, and how disconnected I feel to everybody else. It's as if the more I learn, the more lonely I feel. I can't fully explain this deep sadness, it's not making me unhappy or depressed, it's just this honest deep feeling that if I talk about it, I cry and get emotional within a few seconds. The thoughts change from the state of the world, the abuse of the animal and human kind, to my own progression and subjective view, my programs etc.

When I was crying that night in bed, I was just observing all these parts of myself that wanted to project or create something from this sad feeling. I was crying even more when I saw all that, and realized how different I recently have felt.. It's difficult not to turn it completely subjective and let it entrench me. I know it's part of progression, but jeez it gets hard sometimes. It does make me appreciate the small things a hella lot more. I was even eating chicken before, and was realizing that this chicken probably had a really bad life. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about all those humans out there dying and being murdered etcetc..

I still feel as though I can't explain it fully, but I guess you can't put this feeling into words and maybe a part of me wants to just get rid of it, rather than just sitting with it and realizing this is what it is..

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There is this "relevant" quote about the "Dark Man Dreams" of Clarissa Pinkola Estes from
her book Women Who Run with The Wolves:

"The natural predator of the psyche is not only found in fairy tales but also in dreams. There is a universal initiatory dream, one so common that it is remarkable if a person has reached age 25 without having had such a dream. The dream usually causes the person to jolt awake, striving and anxious. The dream usually involves being in a house with danger outside or darkness outside. The dreamer is frightened and frantically tries to obtain assistance. Suddenly, they realize the danger is virtually on top of them, or right with them, or cannot be overcome or avoided, or that they have lost. The dreamer awakens instantly, breathing hard, heart pounding.

"There is a strong physical aspect to having a dream of the predator. The dream is often accompanied by sweats, struggles, hoarse breathing, heart pounding, and sometimes crying and moans of fear. We could say the dream-maker has dispensed with subtle messages to the dreamer and now sends images which shake the neurological and autonomic nervous system of the dreamer, thereby communicating the urgency of the matter.
"The antagonists of the 'dark dream' are, in people's own words, 'terrorists, rapists, thugs, concentration camp Nazis, marauders, murderers, criminals, creeps, bad men, thieves.' There are several levels to the interpretation of the dream..."

"Often such a dream is a reliable indicator that a person's consciousness is just beginning to gain awareness of the innate psychic predator...."

"The dream is a harbinger; the dreamer has just discovered or is about to discover and begin liberating a forgotten and captive function of the psyche.

"The dark man dream tells a person what predicament they are facing. The dream tells about a cruel attitude toward the dreamer. Like Bluebeard's wife, the dreamer can consciously gain hold of the 'key' question about this matter and answer it honestly, and can then be set free. ...

"The dark man appears in dreams when an initiation - a psychic change from one level of knowing and behavior to another more energetic level of knowledge and action is imminent. The initiation creates an archway which one prepares to pass through to a new manner of knowing and being....

"Dreams are 'portales,' entrances, preparations, and practices for the next step in consciousness.

"Dark man dreams are wake-up calls. They say: Pay attention! Something has gone radically amiss in the outer world. ....The threat of the 'dark man dreams' serves as a warning to all of us -- if you don't pay attention, something will be stolen from you! The dreamer needs to be initiated so that whatever has been robbing her can be recoginzed, apprehended, and dealt with.

"In the Bluebeard story we see how a woman who falls under the spell of the predator rouses herself and escapes him, wiser for the experience. The story is about transformation through knowledge, insight, voice, decisive action. We must unlock the secrets and use our abilities to be able to stand what we see. And then, we must use our voice and our wits to do what needs to be done about what we see. When instincts are strong, we intuitively recognize the innate predator by scent, sight, and hearing... we anticipate its presence, hear it approaching, and take steps to turn it away. In the instinct-injured (i.e. nuts and bolts person) the predator is upon them before they register its presence. We have been taught to be nice, to behave, to be blind, and to be misused. [We have been hypnotized to give up our flesh and skins.]

"The young and the injured are uninitiated. Neither knows much about the dark predator and are, therefore, credulous. But, fortunately, when the predator is on the move, it leaves behind unmistakable tracks in dreams. These tracks eventually lead to its discovery, capture and containment.
"Wild Ways teaches people when not to act 'nice' about protecting their souls. The instinctive nature knows that being 'sweet' in these instances only makes the predator smile. When the soul is being threatened, it is not only acceptable to draw the line and mean it, it is required."

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And from the Cass:

A: This is how work on the self works! It prepares you for even more dramatic and rapid changes! And this is ”receivership capacity”.

Q: So, you’re saying when you work on yourself, and you change something from a certain level, that it acts on more fundamental levels even as far as your DNA? Which then enables you to receive finer or differently tuned energies, which can help to change you more? And if that happens, it enables you to achieve more and do more. Is that sort of what we’re getting at here?

A: Yes. Not quite clear as you put it; but close enough.

Q: (L) Do I need to be clearer?

A: When you do, you will.

Q: (L) Is there any relation between the above and the rashes that people here are having?

A: Watch the diet!

Q: (L) Does that mean as I think, being very careful about any carbs?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) is that because we are being beamed as I suspect? This HAARP activity?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) And so one must keep that in mind while this heavy beaming is going on. One needs to be extra careful in all respects of hygiene: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

A: Yes. As we said a moment ago, there are forces seeking to interfere with the process.

Q: (L) What about the things that have been breaking and strange dreams everyone has been having?

A: SPA {See Previous Answers}

Q: (Galatea) That’s also why I had that Darkman dream?

A: Yes.

Q: (L) I would say that having that kind of dream, is because of being aware of negative energies trying to get in. (Galatea) Was it really for real that a pale, humanoid creature tried to get in?

A: Yes.

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That i got from this thread https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=23630.0
There is also this one "Ask yourself the right questions" http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,41859.0.html#top
in keeping in mind that quote of Gurdjieff:

"In right knowledge the study of man must proceed on parallel lines with the study of the world, and the study of the world must run parallel with the study of man."

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:)