Are you a Narcissist?

4.
I do not necessarily feel that I need to be acknowledged and gratified for my appearance and behaviour by other people. For example I barely display myself on social medias (which is IMO a narcissistic heaven).
More often I despise myself and feel unworthy rather than feel like complimenting myself.
However, I do act selfish and demand too much attention in certain situations, especially in close relationships.
I may not truly understand the term "narcissist" but I think that a healthy self-esteem (which I haven't established yet) contains some "narcissist" traits. The self-love and respect for what is valuable and higher in us.
 
Psalehesost said:
If I go by how I feel: 6.

If I try to take a more detached perspective: 5.

What enters into the estimate is: excessive self-concern (including in motivation for "doing good" and for trying to avoid the opposite); my personal "narrative" being the frame of reference for nearly everything in life; being driven in very large part by what I personally find interesting; and dissociation, living in my own little bubble most of the time.

At the same time, in comparison to full-blown narcissism, I know that narcissistic qualities could be a lot worse/more extensive, hence not a full score.
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Exactly the same here.

Analysing my thoughts and actions for the past month for example, it is rare that I have genuinely served, or wanted to serve, a higher purpose, just out of respect for that higher purpose. Or sought truth, just for the sake of truth. Even when I'm doing something to help others, to spread truth and awareness, it's really all about me. Whether simply for the pure vain recognition and validation, or for calculating my internal balance sheet of good deeds vs selfish deeds, it's all about me. To truly give just out of the joy of giving is an almost foreign concept emotionally, and that frightens me.

I'm basically either moving forward out of fear that I "won't make it", or getting what I want (whether it be social acceptance, sense of achievement, or just simply pleasure), which boils down to basically wanting to feel good and to not feel bad. I'd like to say I'm working on it but it feels like an impossible bind.

Added: Thinking about it, if I had a solid sense of self-worth then none of the above would be an issue. However since childhood something has been missing. Despite all of the external self-improvement things I've tried in the past 3 years, including diet and supplements, relationships, exercises, bodywork, therapies, exposing myself to reality, and EE, this fundamental "issue" continues to exist. I don't know what it really is, and I can't penetrate deep enough to deal with it. I guess you could call it the predator.
 
Carlisle said:
Psalehesost said:
If I go by how I feel: 6.

...At the same time, in comparison to full-blown narcissism, I know that narcissistic qualities could be a lot worse/more extensive, hence not a full score.
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...I'm basically either moving forward out of fear that I "won't make it", or getting what I want (whether it be social acceptance, sense of achievement, or just simply pleasure), which boils down to basically wanting to feel good and to not feel bad. I'd like to say I'm working on it but it feels like an impossible bind.
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I feel like a full 7 this year, for many reasons.

First of all my posts' score is practically null, always focused on job and personal issues, multiple fears wept under the rug and not shared with the group. Then the biggest shock was when I managed to realize, in May(!), that the "EU House" thread was up and running from November of the last year! It was like sweeping over 6 months without noticing an elephant next bedroom, can't even count the exact time-lapse by now really. I was just reading about the Wetiko Virus a few weeks ago, and all this self focusing that finally ends in self-damage is evidently something that I don't fully grasp as yet.

Social acceptance is another big theme in my life. It may be that I work always with the public, costumers, and so I really can't say No to distractions that comes via friends. I may have learned to contain 'em a little, bet there's always something subtle that after a few days I recognize as a failure.

Let's say the when it comes about sharing or how I feel right now, it's a 7.
 
I'm amazed to see nobody has made the connection yet to this article on SotT:

http://www.sott.net/article/283298-Can-one-simple-question-identify-narcissistic-people

As for the question itself, I suppose I would score low but I'm unable to say how low exactly, and I'm not particularly interested to know either.

Hope this helps a bit. :)
 
But a narcissist is so much more than being egoistical, vain and self-absorbed (and yeah, these three are, of course, us, STS trying to become STO candidates):

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
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And this ALL the time without any conscience...

On these premises I would give myself a 2 :umm:

EDIT: On another note the test itself is interesting. They give you a question which is completely unscientific and people who answer just take it as if it is validated.

M.T.
 
Minas Tirith said:
But a narcissist is so much more than being egoistical, vain and self-absorbed (and yeah, these three are, of course, us, STS trying to become STO candidates):

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Click to expand...

And this ALL the time without any conscience...

On these premises I would give myself a 2 :umm:

EDIT: On another note the test itself is interesting. They give you a question which is completely unscientific and people who answer just take it as if it is validated.

M.T.
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Exactly. I have to question people who drop 6's or 7's here and if they've met any bonified narcissists in their life, or if they are just displaying humility in the face of the STS versus STO question. I know a number of people with narcissistic streaks, and I haven't seen any such types of behavior in some of those here who self-report such high numbers.
 
whitecoast said:
and I haven't seen any such types of behavior in some of those here who self-report such high numbers.
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Self-deprication is dangerous and exactly where "they" want us.

M.T.
 
Palinurus said:
I'm amazed to see nobody has made the connection yet to this article on SotT:

http://www.sott.net/article/283298-Can-one-simple-question-identify-narcissistic-people

As for the question itself, I suppose I would score low but I'm unable to say how low exactly, and I'm not particularly interested to know either.

Hope this helps a bit. :)
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I think this study proves one thing: that non-pathologicals perceive narcissism negatively, and are therefore more unwilling to admit their own narcissistic traits. Real narcissists (i.e. pathologicals) just don't care.

I think anyone who's honest with themselves and answers the question as it is asked can't help but agree. Anything else is lying to the self, IMO. It's not pretty or flattering, but I don't think I've met very many persons who are not egotistical, self-focused, or vain, myself included. I've met a lot of people who would never think of themselves in those terms, and many people who fight such tendencies in themselves, but that's a different matter. OSIT!
 
Spontaneous impression: 5

On closer scrutiny 4 - 5.

I have a lot of self-absorption, but always also have tried to look out for others. I definitely lack the "self-agrandizement" of full-blown narcissists. Fantasies of brilliance are usually closely followed by their opposite.

On balance I tend more towards 4 because I have at least a modicum of insight and I am often able to catch myself when stepping into the narcissistic quagmire.

Or so I think at this present time.

PS: Did a version of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory and scored 3 out of 20 ...
 
I think I swing between being totally in service to others especially regarding the nurturing of my kids and partner to where I'm completely self focused and care about my reflection, have feelings like needing time to myself and having housework and cooking boycot days so I can just be unburdened for a while- kind of like a rejuvenation so I can completely give again.. And anything in between.
So I'd say I could be a 1-7 at any given time, depending on circumstances like adequate sleep and the weather- I'm not very good when it's windy, it really stirs me up. But if I had to pick one number as an average I'd say 5.5 ... Something to ponder
 
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