Thanks for sharing, Darius. It sounds quite intense.
It's a good sign that you're considering other possibilities. Not to discount any of your experiences, far from it, but most psychic experiences are connected to deep unconscious aspects of ourselves. For example, high sensitivity associated with unresolved wounds can become a distraction from the core issues we need to work on, and we perpetuate unnecessary suffering.
Working on the basics is always advisable: Small steps in areas of our lives over which we have control.
You mentioned spiritual attachments, and unresolved issues or wounds are open doors to them, so better work on the aspect that attracted them in the first place. And you would be surprised how mundane some of these aspects can be, like bad mental habits. So we could go for a spirit release therapy, but if we do not realize what attracted the attachment and work on it, it will come back.
You mentioned Gurdjieff, he would advise us to start with self-observation or self-remembrance, to be aware of our automatic thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and then to be proactive as soon as we develop the necessary will to change - little by little. Not easy at all! Just remember that you are not alone in this journey and that we have many tools at our disposal to make life's suffering not only bearable but worthwhile.
We have the Network, of course, but I think all of us here see therapy as a great tool for healing and growth, we need the help of those who have enough knowledge and experience in particular areas. I have done it over the years and definitely recommend it
.
I don't want to overstep, and please let me know if I do, as this is a delicate matter, but you mentioned that your parents beat and humiliated you, so maybe that would be a good place to start?
How does this abuse affect you now? How it has conditioned your perception of yourself, and the world (others)? Do you perceive a certain hostility coming from the outside? Is it real or just a conditioned perception? Just some loose ideas.
As we learn more about ourselves and the reality around us, there will always be more difficult challenges, call it "friction" or "resistance" from the so-called General Law, but being aware of this aspect does not mean that the world is a hostile place, it's just life.
Yes, our past experiences can condition us to perceive the world in a certain way, but as we continue on our journey we realize that even the hardest lessons were blessings, and little by little the defensive armor we've created since childhood will fall apart and let us understand and feel the love of life, of the Universe.
Always remember that you can safely share with us, and we reply to them because we care.
Hope my 2 cents help.
Take care and keep us posted.