The bardo of becoming, as it has already been described, may seem a very disturbed and disturbing time. Yet there is great hope in it. The qualities of the mental body during the bardo of becoming that make it so vulnerable - its clarity,mobility, sensitivity and clairvoyance - also make it particularly receptive to help from the living. The fact that it has no physical form or basis makes it very easy to guide. The Tibetan Book of the Dead compares the mental body to a horse, which can be readily controlled by a bridle, or to a huge tree trunk, which may be almost immovable on land, yet once floated in water can be effortlessly directed wherever you wish....
But whether you do any of these practices or not to help your loved one who has died, don't ever forget that the consciousness in the bardo is acutely clairvoyant; simply directing good thoughts toward them will be most beneficial."