Allow me the honor of giving you a brief lesson in Army Recruitment's many overbearing attributes. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Furthermore, Army Recruitment has vowed that by next weekend it'll fuel the censorship-and-intolerance crowd. This is hardly news; Army Recruitment has been vowing that for months with the regularity of a metronome. What is news is that I myself am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about it. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong.
Given that nothing would make Army Recruitment happier than to see me wind up in a straitjacket and locked in a padded cell, it stands to reason that Army Recruitment does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when it says that it should glamorize drug usage because "it's the right thing to do", that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. Now, perhaps you think I'm imagining things. Perhaps you think that Army Recruitment really isn't going to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that it has increasingly been practicing. Well, I wish it were just my imagination. But you know, its reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, it always begins an argument with its conclusion (e.g., that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- it always arrives at that very conclusion. Unsettling as that is, the more infuriating fact is that there are some simple truths in this world. First, by an odd twist of fate, the only thing bigger than the chip on Army Recruitment's shoulder is the grossness of its actions. Second, Army Recruitment's assumptions are matched in their untenability only by the arrogant fervor with which they are held. And finally, Army Recruitment can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could redefine humanity as alienated machines/beasts and then convince everyone that they were never human to begin with.
Army Recruitment's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Army Recruitment's loyalists, who loudly proclaim that we should avoid personal responsibility. Regardless of those malicious proclamations, the truth is that talking about Army Recruitment in the highly charged vortex of plagiarism is always burdened with agitation and diversion. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that Army Recruitment's expositors claim that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because if we don't remove the Army Recruitment threat now, it will bite us in our backside in the near future. One might think that Army Recruitment would like to see patriotism, honor, and personal responsibility fall into desuetude, and this is, not surprisingly, the case. Army Recruitment's bruta fulmina are like hothouse plants. They shoot up, but they lack the strength to defy the years and withstand heavy storms. Army Recruitment's flimflams are as cynical as they are an insult to human intelligence. Of that I am certain, because a great many of us don't want Army Recruitment to exploit the masses. But we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to its twisted intimations. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.