Thank you all for your honesty and civility toward this newcomer thus far. Yes, I registered in November 2008, but I have only read a few discussion threads (perhaps ten) in all this time. I was, you could say, impressed and intrigued when I first encountered and read the Wave series. It was a very fresh and enlightening, if also very challenging, perspective and reading experience for me at the time. I was 24 then, now 26.
I have no doubt that spending time here among you discussing topics of mutual interest would sharpen my reason and discernment. I would have the chance be corrected in my tendencies toward lazy thinking. But I find the thought of that route too tiring. I don't believe I have the spiritual and mental stamina for it. Also, I am easily enough influenced by the energies of others that the strong collective here might quickly either sweep me along (doubtful) or overwhelm me to the point of exhaustion and claustrophobia. Time is short; choices have to be made. This is not the place for me in the long run, I'm too much of a mystic and a child. Nevertheless, you all have my very best wishes for your quest for truth.
I see the validity of the points presented in these last few posts, and cannot refute it. But I can say that how LV and his way are perceived here is not the entire picture as I see it. I suppose I might as well mention here what I also
posted at Visible Origami, about the dream I had before this all exploded into the public scene over there (which Les himself started, for whatever reason) and before I was ever introduced to this thread. The dream was very basic, more emotional/archetypal, so not much detail level was retained. Someone from this group (maybe a dream representative of the group as a whole, although it did feel like one individual; still, I'd hesitate to say it was any actual, real-life member) was criticizing Les, making points that I myself would probably not have thought of on my own. There was validity to most of the person's arguments, which I was able to recognize also intellectually but mostly by intuition (which is how I tend to operate, for better or for worse). I also felt that the person didn't "get" Les and never would, and that that was just how it was and perfectly OK. I don't claim to "get" him myself, but I do resonate with him a lot of the time. (It's possible the dream was simply a pre-echo of the personal thoughts/experiences that later came about through my examining this unfortunate but inevitable series of events.)
Pashalis, I do believe in God. I relate to her mostly in the feminine aspect these days, as
Gaia-Sophia and Kali the destroyer of demons/illusions, the divine mother. I take a pluralistic approach, gathering many differing perspectives and using whatever feels most fitting in the moment, even if there are apparent contradictions between them (which, I believe, are resolved as one approaches truth holistically). It's a chaotic path on the one hand, but there's a logic to it in retrospect. It's what works for me and I'd be crazy to assume it might work for anyone else.
Les admits to being twelve years old, so his immaturity in some respects is not a point of contention. I'm about two years old myself. I've used cannabis on occasion and found it a very powerful catalyst not only in itself through its effects, but also through the process of self-questioning and learning responsibility that it brings with it. Haven't smoked it in a while, and agree in principle that real spiritual growth requires a sober state of mind. Still, I allow in general for the possibility of mind-altering substances as catalyst. I took LSD once and didn't regret the trip itself at all - but the month of social isolation imposed by my loved ones, who absolutely do not condone drug use, as a consequence, was of equal or greater teaching significance. Psychedelic drug use will get no recommendation by me for anyone, but people's choices are their own. I have no great personal desire to meet Les in person, and I think the disharmony that resulted from his visit to the chateau is understandable simply based on the differences in basic philosophy between you and him. I have no opinion on whether he behaved inappropriately; I wasn't there, and so much depends on a person's concept of what is appropriate. The difference in accounts is sharp enough that one side or the other, or both, must be distorting what happened to some degree. Les I can't fully trust because his psyche is most likely fractured, and I'm sorry to say, there appear (in my newbie eyes) to be individuals here who seemingly relish interpreting every possible detail as evidence of dangerous pathology. We're all sick; we wouldn't be here otherwise. Fault-finding is OK, but it needs to be done neutrally, without personal satisfaction, with love. It's possible that some have become attached to the notion that the whole world-out-there is somehow against SOTT, and inadvertently then create their own enemies just by operating from that overly defensive paradigm. Not saying that's how it is, just that it's possible. Also possible that such a paradigm would appear completely transparent, justified and internally consistent to one who sees the world through it.
I am putting a lot of energy into this. It will be interesting to see where it goes. Nowhere, yes, but in what way it goes there and what I can learn/teach along the way is what interests. I urge anyone who finds this all a waste of energy not to feed it any further and just walk away and let it be. I will do the same when I am ready.
