Sensitive People in an Insensitive World

[clearmiddle]

...That the PTB would want the average person to be desensitized by maintaining the idea that being highly sensitive means that there is something "wrong" with you makes sense in trying to keep everyone asleep.

Sorry if I am way off here, but just wanted to jot down my thoughts to see if what I am seeing is there or am I just making word salad here.

Edit: Wanted to make one point here. I used to work in recording studios where the music was very loud. Being able to stand the loud noise did not mean I liked it. Now many years later loud noises are still a discomfort. Not desensitized, just tolerated.

I became involved in esoteric work through an "educational organization" that I joined in late 1981. They offered a variety of workshops, and once you had completed a particular workshop you could assist that workshop when it was held again. Much of what they were teaching was in the assisting program.

I became heavily involved with assisting, and it provided me with an opportunity to see a side of humanity that is usually not very evident. Given the right conditions, people soon begin to show evidence of their potential. You can observe that just from following along in this Forum.

What I see "out on the streets" is very different -- people that are "dumbed down." There are so many negative influences that it is hard to know where to start a list. Poor nutrition and constant exposure to false information about nutrition (through advertising and news media) would be high on the list, I think, as would be environmental toxicity. Cultural suppression of traits of sensitivity must also be important. Then there is the "programming" -- TV programming! -- and movies. Not all of it is bad, but much of it is desensitizing.

Loud music may have a role although I am not sure what it is. I know that have a lot of trouble with it and it usually leaves me with a "hangover" afterward, just from the sound. I can tolerate it if I focus on listening to the music, but I still have to deal with the aftereffects. The worst of it is loud bass that makes my organs vibrate. That to me is a warning sign to leave. I really don't know what effects repeated, prolonged exposure to loud music might have apart from hearing loss. It seems like a lot of vocal music is about relationships that don't work and other dysfunctional behavior, and I don't see a lot of value in hearing that over and over again.

 

[clearmiddle]

Similar situation here. I scored 18. It would have been much higher when I was younger. But working in a construction field helped me become less sensitive to some loud noises and pain. Yet I still have a hard time dealing with my co worker putting the stereo in the truck very loud or if a light is shining in my eyes (yet I like sunlight).

It occurred to me that many of the quiz questions are about sensory sensitivity, but that doesn't seem to be what the book is about. The claim, I guess, is that people who are more sensitive, generally, are more prone to sensory issues.

The style of the book is a little odd. The author seems to go out of her way to explain things for people who have almost no self-awareness. Maybe she is just being cautious -- doesn't want to have readers melting down and suing her because they happened to catch a glimpse of themselves. Maybe it is just filler. I don't know.

I have had one major insight so far from my reading. I have long wondered to what extent my parents were physically abusive. I don't remember anything at all directly. My father, shortly before he died, confessed to doing certain things, but insisted that they were the exception and not the rule. And yet I have body memories of something like receiving blows. I sometimes put my hands up as if to fend off someone.

The book mentions some of these kinds of gestures and suggests another possibility besides physical blows. I occasionally have PTSD-type flashbacks, and they are of shouting and screaming, not of physical violence. But loud noise even now affects me almost as if I were being struck. The violence my body recorded may have been verbal and, given my sensitivities, it may not even have sounded all that loud or harsh to most people. I may have been amplifying it internally.

I may be on to something important in my early memories. However odd the book may seem at times, this has been good reading for me.

 

[Andrew M.]

I've never heard myself described so close to the truth. 24 on the test. :/ I was almost always trying to be the "tougher guy" it was only recently i started appreciating these traits in myself. The change of perception isn't easy and a change of lifestyle would be even harder. I guess it's a good thing to be highly sensitive, unfortunate that the world is so insensitive, but good non-the-less.

 

[davey72]

11, and that is an improvement from for me. I still have a lot of work to do.

I was about the same. One that was interesting to me was

When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).

Often when I'm with others, I can't really relax until everyone else around is comfortable. Whether it be concerned about how their sitting or whether they have a cup of tea or not.

I am the same way, but i always looked at it as being too much of a people pleaser

 

[davey72]

As explained above, many writers on HSP propose a positive, accepting attitude towards [being an] HSP. However, this is not the general consensus in the professional psychological community. For instance, Jeffrey E. Young, founder of the increasingly applied Schema Therapy, although never having been critical of HSP writers or writings, links high sensitivity, or as he calls it, the "highly empathic temperament" with the Self Sacrifice Schema (Young, 2003, pp. 246–251), which in turn is almost always related to the Emotional Deprivation Schema. In his opinion, these persons (patients) need to learn to focus on themselves instead of others and to learn to get their own needs met, needs they typically are not aware of. As such, HSP can be seen not as a positive personality trait, but as a psychopathological condition that can be treated with experiential, cognitive, behavioral, and limited-reparenting strategies.
_http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_people

One thing that I've never been able to find a way to deal with is the effect of walking into a mall or store which can make my head spin and my heart palpitate. It's especially strong in stores where the electronics are on display right at the front so I'm pretty sure it is the EM pollution.

I think Elaine Aaron is on to something and that a certain percentage of the population is born with a high sensitivity, both physical and emotional/empathic. The earliest memory I have of physical sensitivity is being given a pair of nylon pyjamas for the first time and being completely unable to wear them due to the static electricity they caused. If I hold an active mobile phone I feel a kind of 'dead' sensation in my hand. So Laura's sensitivity to EM pollution makes perfect sense to me. This nervous system sensitivity leads to heightened susceptibility to psychological wounding during childhood, which can easily lead to someone being labelled later in life as having a psychopathological condition, which it is to a degree. When I was younger I thought there was something really wrong with me because I couldn't do the things my friends did, which required a tough-guy thick-skinned attitude to do. But now, thirty years later, I have come to appreciate the many positive benefits of the condition, and I've learnt (and continue to learn) to cope with the internal over-arousal caused by certain situations. EE has helped enormously with that.

I agree with Schema Therapy that self sacrifice can often be linked to emotional deprivation which has affected the HS person perhaps more deeply than it would the non-HS person. This could lead to self-sacrifice which is more the product of a lack of boundaries rather than conscious self-sacrifice, simply because the emotional deprivation causes the HS person to believe that they are not worthy of being. After all, the external family environment caused them to feel unworthy of love as a child, so as an adult they do not feel worthy of having legitimate being-boundaries. However there is a kind of self-sacrifice which is conscious and is not born out of emotional wounding. That kind is very noble and should not be confused with the pathological kind. So I think that the condition of high sensitivity has pathological aspects, and healthy, positive aspects. The trick is to discern between the two and to create a safe inner space for the positive aspects to grow, a strategy to heal the fallout of the negative aspects, and to find safe, externally considerate ways to express the positive attributes.

I would tend to agree. Have you seen this thread ? Perhaps i am wrong, but it seems to give some relevant info on what you are speaking of?