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Really good stuff, I agree with others about the snappy breaks, they're in now.. so keep them, but perhaps make them less frequent.. maybe not every sentence, but every other sentence.
Regarding your body movements, I think it'll naturally become less rigid as you become more comfortable with recording and expressing your words with more than facial expressions, which funny enough if you include your arms in the motions for instance..(only if it is natural to you that is) they will dictate when to make the breaks in a more natural way, because you'll break when your body stops and not when the sentence ends. If that makes sense.
Another thing with the breaks and sentences, is that even if you do keep them.. you can use a silence to highlight an important point, or a point you want people to remember.. so that the break happens after the sentence ends, and it cuts to maybe you just looking at the camera in silence with a different expression and then break back to speaking. So that you punctuate and give some breathing room as well.
Another thing with breaks, is that even if they can be snappy, or in short frequencies, if they fit within the structure of the script, they don't feel jumpy. What I mean is, a break happens when there's a change of tone for instance, or emphasis, but it's ok to keep certain segments longer if what is being delivered belongs altogether. Sort of like using "periods" or parenthesis for the break, and not commas, that way the written text dictates when to make a visual break.
Here's a good example from
Sydney Watson, she uses breaks a lot, but she does so in a way that cements the overall message without breaking the flow of information.
I am sure you'll crack the formula! Keep it up and keep them coming!