A dream with my father

[Iron]

I, since I remember have a poor relationship with my father. He has some major issues ( in the past he tried to strangle my mother while she slept, because of pathological jealousy) and was confined for some time for psychiatric evaluation.
This and the fact that he has intimacy issues, made my relationship very dificult with him. He "got better" as the years passed, every now or them he has a breakdown over minor issues, but small things compared with what once was.
However, in the last 8 or so months , I experienced a lot of forgiveness due to the EE program, and healed my relationship with him to the extent it is possible. Now I speak with him normaly and understand that he never will be the father that I wanted, but I do not despise him anymore.
Anyway, two months ago we discovered that he has alzheimer, in the early stages. We tried to get him to change his food intake but with no sucess so far.
Well to the dream.
After doing the whole EE program, I usually process things via dreams. Usualy nightmarish ones. Or "cry me a river" ones.
I dreamt with him demented, incoherent, drooling and with difficulty to walk. It was like he was trying to speak with me, but I understood nothing, I only felt fear and terror of seeing him like that.

I thought at first that it was just an emotional release... however now I suspect it could be a warning of things to come.

I want to know what you guys think.

 

[Giray Khan the Brave]

Hi Iron, your post gave me a very weird feeling as I had very similar problems with my own dad, who then went on to develop Alzheimer's and passed away 7 years ago. I used to have very similar dreams about him and over the years I've come to realise that these dreams weren't prophetic or warnings but were actually based on the very real horror of knowing that someone who we've known for years is going to be reduced into something almost less than human. No matter what you feel for that person, they are close to you, and your subconscious realises that they are going to change almost in front of your eyes and that this change isn't going to be for the good. In waking we tend to rationalise and thus try to soften the impact of out fears but in dreams our subconscious usually tells it like it is, viscerally and pulling no punches.

Also, in a way it may be that your subconscious is (as you say) processing this news and preparing you for the 'worst' scenario.

So as someone who's (weirdly) been through a very similar experience to your own I can say that such dreams are very very normal and to be expected and is the direct result of being emphatic and having a heart and soul which do not want to see anyone suffer, no matter what they've done to you or those around you. I wish you all the best. May you have all the strength and the patience you need to get through this 'lesson'.

 

[Thomas Alan]

I, since I remember have a poor relationship with my father. He has some major issues ( in the past he tried to strangle my mother while she slept, because of pathological jealousy) and was confined for some time for psychiatric evaluation.
This and the fact that he has intimacy issues, made my relationship very dificult with him. He "got better" as the years passed, every now or them he has a breakdown over minor issues, but small things compared with what once was.
However, in the last 8 or so months , I experienced a lot of forgiveness due to the EE program, and healed my relationship with him to the extent it is possible. Now I speak with him normaly and understand that he never will be the father that I wanted, but I do not despise him anymore.
Anyway, two months ago we discovered that he has alzheimer, in the early stages. We tried to get him to change his food intake but with no sucess so far.
Well to the dream.
After doing the whole EE program, I usually process things via dreams. Usualy nightmarish ones. Or "cry me a river" ones.
I dreamt with him demented, incoherent, drooling and with difficulty to walk. It was like he was trying to speak with me, but I understood nothing, I only felt fear and terror of seeing him like that.

I thought at first that it was just an emotional release... however now I suspect it could be a warning of things to come.

I want to know what you guys think.

Though my parents have long passed on I see them in my dreams sometimes. I know what you mean about forgiveness coming with doing EE. My mother was abusive too me when I was very young. I wanted to turn to my father for help but knew he wouldn't believe me or come to my aid.

EE and the Work has helped me realize that my parents were who they were. Their behavior was likely programing that they received from their own childhood. I've been able to let go of the rage and pain that I carried, below the conscious level, for so long. A tight knot loosened and unraveled.

Mac

Mac

 

[Ollie]

Hi Iron

Dream action is about the dynamics of your own life (hopes, fears, questions, conflicts, way out of difficulties, possibilities, etc.) The dream action may use images from experiences of the previous day or so before, as well as others. The dream symbols may be both literal and symbolic interpretations – be curious and naïve in your interpretation.

And, from a Fourth Way perspective,

… Basically, in the deepest (i.e. normal) sleep, there are no dreams. Most dreams are left over energy from one or several of the centers, and the dream content reflects this. Vaysse lists three normal kinds of dreams: associative (reactive/mechanical), compensatory (emotional), and symbolic (higher emotional). (Also telepathic, prophetic, etc.)

So … it's important to know if the dream is actually symbolic and not either of the former options. And even then, your higher self will speak in symbols specific for you, ...

To help you in your dream interpretation – of what is subjective, unique to you, and whether you recognize the images or not (and they are in you and pertain to you; they are aspects arising in your-self) - here are some questions to ask your-self. They may help, or not.

When you re-experience the experiences in the dream, do they remind you of anything in life?

The setting, what does it feel like there? Does it remind you of anything in current life, any situation in life?

Who is ‘your father’ (tell me on the basis that I don’t know ‘your father’), what is ‘your father’ like? What kind of personality? What does ‘your father’ mean to you? What kind of person might you consider ‘yur father’ to be like?

What is your working, etc., relationship with ‘father’ like?

Is there some part of you that is like ‘father’?

Positive characters are about strengths and achievements.
Negative characters represent conflicts in life (personification of attitudes, beliefs, habits, etc)

The action (‘with him demented, incoherent, drooling and with difficulty to walk. It was like he was trying to speak with me, but I understood nothing, I only felt fear and terror of seeing him like that’), events in the dream, what do they remind you of in your waking life?

Think about the dream as you go through the day, and test insights and ideas gained. Understand obvious metaphors. Keep using language and images of dream whenever possible. Interpretations may spring to light. String descriptions together to bridge dream experience to any situation in life. (Ref: adapted from Living Your Dreams by Gayle Delaney)

This may help, or not

 

[Iron]

So as someone who's (weirdly) been through a very similar experience to your own I can say that such dreams are very very normal and to be expected and is the direct result of being emphatic and having a heart and soul which do not want to see anyone suffer, no matter what they've done to you or those around you. I wish you all the best. May you have all the strength and the patience you need to get through this 'lesson'.

Thanks Giray Khan, and sorry for your loss... I have withnessed in other situation the destruction that Alzheimer can bring to the person affected and the family.

Thanks Mac... its good to know that there are others who are passing/passed though the same situation.

Thanks Trevrizent. I will reflect on the contents of the dream. I find your points intriguing and will think more about them later today.
This quote from Approaching Infinity is originally from where?

 

[Ollie]

Hi Iron

The original, and full, post of Approaching Infinity is here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=20602.msg210623#msg210623

 

[Alma.Innovadora]

Something similar happened with my father.

The only thing I can say is that you pay attention to those emotions that can somehow lower your guard, get you out of your "center". I dreamed that my father was crying, showing a gap in total abandonment. And the "solution" was not exactly show affection, I should say something very strong and well, as say Mac "A tight knot loosened and unraveled" now, more or less keep a relation more accessible.