A little about me
- Thread starter Angchop
- Start date
I am a 39 year old woman. I grew up in the typical middle class American family. Everything went along well until I turned 9 and my mother died in a car accident. She was with a man she knew from High School. She was cheating on my father, and rumor has it that she was breaking it off with him that night to make it work with my dad. Family members tell me now that there was speculation that she was murdered and the accident was to cover it up. The auto manufacturer even sent out a rep to investigate and he found that the accident could not have caused the injuries that she had sustained. Who knows, nothing ever really came of it and life went on.
Fast forward a few years. I am now 12. My father had remarried and things seemed to be going along ok, at least from my 12 year old perspective. I am not really sure what had happened, but I had later learned that my father and stepmother were heavy into substance abuse and my father flipped out one day thinking someone was after him and he stole someones car. He ended up in jail and then he went to the state mental hospital for about 4 months. My brother and I had no idea where he was during this time, we lived with our grandparents.
Now 2 more years go by and I am now 14. Things had been pretty quiet in our lives for a couple of years. But our peace was soon shattered when my father sustained a gunshot wound to the head, and survived. At first everyone believed it was self-inflicted. Soon though people began to speculate that my stepmother shot him. My father was right handed and his wound was on the left side of his head. He and my stepmother split up after this, leading me to believe that maybe she had done it. Who knows, nothing ever came of this either, and no one really knows what happened. My father's injuries weren't too bad, he lost some function in the right side of his body, but all in all he recovered pretty well considering.
Life carried on once again. Went pretty smoothly until I turned 18 and my father died from a brain tumor 9 years after my mother had died. In some strange ironic way, the man my mother had been seeing also died from a brain tumor.
continued...........(this is all the more it will let me post at once)
Fast forward a few years. I am now 12. My father had remarried and things seemed to be going along ok, at least from my 12 year old perspective. I am not really sure what had happened, but I had later learned that my father and stepmother were heavy into substance abuse and my father flipped out one day thinking someone was after him and he stole someones car. He ended up in jail and then he went to the state mental hospital for about 4 months. My brother and I had no idea where he was during this time, we lived with our grandparents.
Now 2 more years go by and I am now 14. Things had been pretty quiet in our lives for a couple of years. But our peace was soon shattered when my father sustained a gunshot wound to the head, and survived. At first everyone believed it was self-inflicted. Soon though people began to speculate that my stepmother shot him. My father was right handed and his wound was on the left side of his head. He and my stepmother split up after this, leading me to believe that maybe she had done it. Who knows, nothing ever came of this either, and no one really knows what happened. My father's injuries weren't too bad, he lost some function in the right side of his body, but all in all he recovered pretty well considering.
Life carried on once again. Went pretty smoothly until I turned 18 and my father died from a brain tumor 9 years after my mother had died. In some strange ironic way, the man my mother had been seeing also died from a brain tumor.
continued...........(this is all the more it will let me post at once)
I married a childhood friend soon after I turned 19. Looking back I believe I jumped into marriage because I wanted someone to take care of me. Within the first year we had a son. He is now 19. My husband and I split up after 19 years of marriage. We are still friends to this day, and I don't regret having been with him. I learned alot during those years.
I must also mention that when I was 27, none years after my father's passing, my beloved grandmother died. This number nine in my life really began to bother me.
After my mother died a burning question inside of me grew, "why are we here"? And with each passing tragedy in my life the question grew bigger and burned hotter. It was my passion to find this out. Otherwise I could see no point to it all. This question eventually brought me to Laura's work, and it was the first time that something made sense to me. She put all the pieces together when no one else could and it is amazing.
I devoured the Adventures with Cassiopaeans and the Wave series online, and after reading how religion has been used to control humanity and everything we had ever been taught was a sham, it was liked blinders had been blown off and I could see things for what they truly are. I was literally in shock for a week. I had a hard time functioning in my day to day life for quite some time. My whole reality had changed. I am so glad that I found my way here. I can't imagine going back to being ignorant to what's really going on.
I look back at my life so far and I don't regret anything. It has made me who I am today. I think I am finally dealing with tons of emotions from my youth. I think now its no wonder that I had bladder cancer, I was so pissed off growing up because everyone was being taken from me. I feel a great weight lifted from me now. I know that I am growing, and I owe a big thank you to this forum and all the work that Laura and the team do.
Angela
I must also mention that when I was 27, none years after my father's passing, my beloved grandmother died. This number nine in my life really began to bother me.
After my mother died a burning question inside of me grew, "why are we here"? And with each passing tragedy in my life the question grew bigger and burned hotter. It was my passion to find this out. Otherwise I could see no point to it all. This question eventually brought me to Laura's work, and it was the first time that something made sense to me. She put all the pieces together when no one else could and it is amazing.
I devoured the Adventures with Cassiopaeans and the Wave series online, and after reading how religion has been used to control humanity and everything we had ever been taught was a sham, it was liked blinders had been blown off and I could see things for what they truly are. I was literally in shock for a week. I had a hard time functioning in my day to day life for quite some time. My whole reality had changed. I am so glad that I found my way here. I can't imagine going back to being ignorant to what's really going on.
I look back at my life so far and I don't regret anything. It has made me who I am today. I think I am finally dealing with tons of emotions from my youth. I think now its no wonder that I had bladder cancer, I was so pissed off growing up because everyone was being taken from me. I feel a great weight lifted from me now. I know that I am growing, and I owe a big thank you to this forum and all the work that Laura and the team do.
Angela
Hi Angela,
thank you for sharing your thoughts about your life. To write them down can really help to see and reflect about it. It also aids a gain of clarity regarding where one currently stands (so I think). I cannot say much further right now, aside from that I empathize with you regarding what you have gone through. And I am very glad to see, that Laura's Work and this forum brought and brings about much benefit for you and that it changed your life and the way how you look at your past today in positive terms. As far as I know (and experienced), we are being shaped through life and probably you wouldn't have found Laura's Work if all the losses didn't happen to you, because of the burning questions they brought along to you.
I second Keit's post: The way how you deal with your past and with life, is inspiring. I want to add, that it is encouraging for others in regards of their past. For me, it is very helpful. There're also many happenings in my past, that were just sad - but they have happened. They shaped me in a way, that led me to Laura and this forum. So I am thankful for that.
Because you wrote, you are dealing with lots of emotions from youth: Are you doing the EE program? I am asking, because it helps lots of folks here to deal with things like that.
Keep up the good work! :)
thank you for sharing your thoughts about your life. To write them down can really help to see and reflect about it. It also aids a gain of clarity regarding where one currently stands (so I think). I cannot say much further right now, aside from that I empathize with you regarding what you have gone through. And I am very glad to see, that Laura's Work and this forum brought and brings about much benefit for you and that it changed your life and the way how you look at your past today in positive terms. As far as I know (and experienced), we are being shaped through life and probably you wouldn't have found Laura's Work if all the losses didn't happen to you, because of the burning questions they brought along to you.
I second Keit's post: The way how you deal with your past and with life, is inspiring. I want to add, that it is encouraging for others in regards of their past. For me, it is very helpful. There're also many happenings in my past, that were just sad - but they have happened. They shaped me in a way, that led me to Laura and this forum. So I am thankful for that.
Because you wrote, you are dealing with lots of emotions from youth: Are you doing the EE program? I am asking, because it helps lots of folks here to deal with things like that.
Keep up the good work! :)
Hello Angela,
Thanks for sharing your life story. It is really amazing that you write about it with a certain calmness. I am very glad you are still a sane person after experiencing so much death in your life.
I wish you can heal those wounds of the past and process all the stored emotions. I would only say one thing: please try some EE breathing on a regular basis. It will be a great help to process these emotions in a controled way.
Wish you success on the path...
Thanks for sharing your life story. It is really amazing that you write about it with a certain calmness. I am very glad you are still a sane person after experiencing so much death in your life.
I wish you can heal those wounds of the past and process all the stored emotions. I would only say one thing: please try some EE breathing on a regular basis. It will be a great help to process these emotions in a controled way.
Wish you success on the path...
Hi, Angela. Thank you for sharing the painful trials and tribulations you've been through. I applaud your courage. Sharing helps others deal with their issues as it also helps you with yours.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Psyche said:
This is a great quote, and oh so true! Thank you Psyche.
This is really the first time I have openly shared my story. People throughout my life have known it, but it was a big step for me to post it on this forum. I am so glad I did. I am serious about getting to the bottom of my feelings and sharing here was the scariest for me.
It does feel better to have written and posted it. Like it doesn't rule me anymore. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Not just because of this but also getting the cancer out. I feel great, better than I have my whole life. Thanks everyone for the great support.
Angela :)
Thank you Angela for sharing your life story , i'm sorry for your painful past but unfortunately "the road to the awakening" is always very hard for those who want to "wake up" , you helped me to decide for myself to try to share my life experience too (i was thinking a while about that ) , thank you once again . :)
I too thank you for sharing your story with us, Angela. It's been a tough life, and no doubt you have a lot of emotions to re-live and let go of. I am glad that you found Laura's work, the EE and this forum, and that you are not giving up, girl! 
and we are here!
Psyche, that quote is spot on!
and we are here! Psyche, that quote is spot on!
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