A little down going back up

[Ghazi18]

Hi!

Almost everyday I go on this site as well as Sott to read up and do some research about everything that is happening around us. I am a little shy so I refrain from posting as often and asking questions (I've got a whole lot of em haha). For the past couple of months, I've been meditating almost everyday and going to the classes that are offered at my lodge (metaphysics, Spirituality, etc.) However, for the last month I have been slipping and started to smoke like I used to a couple of years ago (currently 23) and I feel like this has become an inconvenience towards the path that I and many others are following. Ever since I started to indulge in the activity more, I have not been meditating as often and have even been going to my lodge less and I feel an inner guilt. Ill probably meditate once or twice a week but, and this could just be me, I definitely feel a difference. I do continue my research and studies everyday but I feel like this activity effects my spiritual exercises and growth but then again this phase could be occurring for a reason.


I do apologize for this writing, I don't know if this is the correct forum to post this but it has been on my mind for a couple of days and I would like to air it out and network. I live in a rural area in Florida and don't really have many friends that I could share this with and this site has been a tremendous inspiration and help! I am definitely trying to better myself and learn more everyday so maybe one day I could be more of service to others and plant the seeds of light whenever I can! I am open to questions and opinions and would very much love some advice if possible. Again I apologize if this is an inappropriate spot to air this out.


Thank you guys so much, currently reading the wave series and it is a big inspiration! thank you Laura and crew as well as everyone on here for being open minded and generous! it honestly means a lot to me.

 

[whitecoast]

However, for the last month I have been slipping and started to smoke like I used to a couple of years ago (currently 23) and I feel like this has become an inconvenience towards the path that I and many others are following. Ever since I started to indulge in the activity more, I have not been meditating as often and have even been going to my lodge less and I feel an inner guilt. Ill probably meditate once or twice a week but, and this could just be me, I definitely feel a difference. I do continue my research and studies everyday but I feel like this activity effects my spiritual exercises and growth but then again this phase could be occurring for a reason.

Were there any incidents that could have caused you to increase smoking? Tobacco is a nootropic, so it could be that the increase in reading and so on is making you smoke more. I noticed when I increased tobacco use that I did less pipe breathing throughout the day, but I concluded that it was because the increased acetylcholine from the nicotine was making my body need it less. This forum is pretty pro-smoking for organic tobacco, and as a herb it is suppressed by the powers that be for a reason.

You could try quitting and seeing what effect it has. On the other hand you could just hunker down and commit to doing the meditation you set out to do.

What is the lodge you speak of? What authors or sources do they use?

 

[Ghazi18]

Hello whitecoast!

Yes there was an incident, it involved me reuniting with an old friend and going back to my old neighborhood to pick up another friend to go to a camping trip. while we were at one of my friends house, we started to smoke cannabis and it dawned on me for some reason that I shouldn't be there at my old neighborhood with my old friends. I then left and have been smoking cannabis for the last month but I am currently making an effort to discontinue that activity.

I do not like meditating stoned and want to be "purified" before I resume such activities because they are very important to me. My studies, research, and spiritual exercises is to not only better myself but also a way for me to plant the seeds and try to help others. That is why I feel an inner guilt I'm guessing but I am making tremendous progress so very soon I should be good to go :).


The lodge that I attend is a Rosicrucian lodge (not AMORC) and that is the place that put me on meditation, chakras, etc. That is the place that really gave me a "jump" on my awareness and inspired me too study and look for more information relating to spirituality, history, esoterica, etc. And is the reason why I discovered this website with the materials. The information that is taught at my lodge is similar to the information here and I still get the chills when I find the similarities haha. As for sources, well it is a lodge, library, and a school so there are many sources that are good and other sources that are disinfo in my opinion. But generally the teachings are Christian Kabbalah mixed in with other teachings.

 

[Cosmos]

If you haven't done so yet you could take a look at our thread about smoking tobacco but it looks like what you meant by smoking in your initial post is not tobacco but cannabis, which is something else entirely. I think that it is good that you have recognized that this isn't something useful and that you should find a way to quit it, not only for your sake. So it seems to me that you are already on the right path there and just need some time and energy to distangle yourself from that stuff. Since for many people smoking cannabis is basically an addiction, it might be worthwhile to treat it that way too and make sure in the future to not even get into situations in which you are tempted to do so. Especially in the beginning, that might be important until you are strong enough to resist any of it, even if tempted.

So I would suggest to just follow up on the effort you already started and try to go without it as long as possible and when the need arises again, to channel it into other directions, if possible. And don't beat yourself up if you slip, just try it again then. Bad habits are difficult to break. Sooner or later you will succeed. At the beginning, when it is hard, you could find something else that you could do instead to get your brain focused on something else. For some people, the realization about what this kind of dissociation leads to in terms of negative consequences for others, especially loved ones, is enough to have a firm reason and goal in mind, for why it is not in your and their interest. Also, often it is just in hindsight that people who used it realize how bad they behaved during those times, especially towards others. Also remember that it can take months or even years that all the effects from that stuff subside in the body.

So keep it up and inform us about your progress! You will make it!

 

[Ghazi18]

Thanks I really appreciate it! Will take in the advice and I will let you guys know my progress thank you