COTY
A Disturbance in the Force
Hi, I wasn't sure where to put this, but I want to share with you what happened yesterday; but before that I’ll give you some context, I was very catholic. After a constant search for the truth and try to find answers - also, due to the events that took place in my life, as the death of my husband after 6 years in coma, it was something that fractured my existence and all my inner self, in that occasion I recant God and I turn my back on everything related to my religion; I belonged to new age groups and other related love/light groups. After all this wasted years I meet with myself again and I reconcile myself with my religion and came back to Catholicism, I came back with all my being to profess it, for a time I felt complete, without question anything, simply being faithful to all the teachings and I even get involved in church groups, giving talks about evangelization, baptism, holy worship, and I used to go to church every Sunday. Later I began to question the priests – I must add that I think that not all the priest are bad, some priest that I knew were good people, committed, but the bad thing I that they were very dogmatized y I couldn’t question anything about the “mysteries” of the church – and I never could get an answer, they simply concluded that it was a faith dogma and that’s it; logically this provoked and awkward environment, for the people reunited and the priest himself.
I must tell you that when my son talked me about the group and I began to see the gained knowledge and criteria, negative to the church, it wasn´t easy at all, even if he just exposed the truth without trying to convince me, always respecting my free will, it was threatening to my beliefs. But it really was after all the disappointments regarding my religion, that I started to pay more attention to my environment and I began to interest more and more in some of the concepts of the group, and I accepted to Know more because what I always have been searching for is the TRUTH in everything, it was a long process but I began to find answers to my questions, specially for what is happening all around the world, what is provoking the changes and to know what really are the persons who rule us, and what we have to do to stop being victimized by this psychopaths. All this have helped me, as life lessons, and to be a better human being to serve others.
Well, so far so good, but regarding my religion, I confess you that has been very hard, there has been some times when I felt desperate and cry, because I feel helpless, I depended of god and I was a devotee of the virgin for example, since I’m a mother, I entrusted my sons to them and this supposedly will help them to be safe. I know that this is a mistake as I have read in the wave series, we shouldn´t pray asking to change something here because the forces of creation flow downward and this could be a violation of the universe’s free will and actually you can get the opposite.
But specially a couple of days ago I felt desperate because I had some problems with my 19 y/o daughter and I felt the necessity to go to church to find some “shelter” (there had passed long time since I didn’t went) And something strange happened, I entered to the church, I sat down and I began to observe all the people in there, I felt out of place, and I began to ponder and I asked my self, ¿what am I doing here? Within a crowded church and alone at the same time, every one of them alien to each other with a total indifference to what’s happening around them, then I get away of there, and here I am writing about my experience, confessing you that I hasn´t been easy, I feel like something has been tore off from myself, occasionally I feel sad and I fell that I’m betraying a part of me and also my mate because he is a believer, but regarding that, he doesn’t oblige me to do or believe in anything, he’s very respectful.
The only thing that I can tell you for sure is that there’s no turning back, lately I have been reading with a lot more of discernment, the Wave Series and Lost Christianity, and every that passes I’m more convinced about the fact that I belong here, I know that there’s a lot to work yet, I feel in pampers, so to speak, but as Laura says, “we just need to learn what’s here thoroughly”, and believe me, I’m doing it, I practice EE every day, I make the detox diet and I’m thinking seriously to go to therapy, I found a deep therapy clinic (Jungian), I’m 53 and I feel that never is too late to heal the soul, physically I feel very good. Sometimes I feel frustrated regarding the language and not to be able to be in contact more often with all of you, is not that I’m not interested, I’m progressing slowly in that regard, but I’m constant, because I don’t want that this becomes an obstacle to my progress, I’ll put more effort and I hope to be participating in the forum more constantly, today I asked my son to translate this message, because I felt the need to bring to your attention my doubts. Thanks for reading me.
I must tell you that when my son talked me about the group and I began to see the gained knowledge and criteria, negative to the church, it wasn´t easy at all, even if he just exposed the truth without trying to convince me, always respecting my free will, it was threatening to my beliefs. But it really was after all the disappointments regarding my religion, that I started to pay more attention to my environment and I began to interest more and more in some of the concepts of the group, and I accepted to Know more because what I always have been searching for is the TRUTH in everything, it was a long process but I began to find answers to my questions, specially for what is happening all around the world, what is provoking the changes and to know what really are the persons who rule us, and what we have to do to stop being victimized by this psychopaths. All this have helped me, as life lessons, and to be a better human being to serve others.
Well, so far so good, but regarding my religion, I confess you that has been very hard, there has been some times when I felt desperate and cry, because I feel helpless, I depended of god and I was a devotee of the virgin for example, since I’m a mother, I entrusted my sons to them and this supposedly will help them to be safe. I know that this is a mistake as I have read in the wave series, we shouldn´t pray asking to change something here because the forces of creation flow downward and this could be a violation of the universe’s free will and actually you can get the opposite.
But specially a couple of days ago I felt desperate because I had some problems with my 19 y/o daughter and I felt the necessity to go to church to find some “shelter” (there had passed long time since I didn’t went) And something strange happened, I entered to the church, I sat down and I began to observe all the people in there, I felt out of place, and I began to ponder and I asked my self, ¿what am I doing here? Within a crowded church and alone at the same time, every one of them alien to each other with a total indifference to what’s happening around them, then I get away of there, and here I am writing about my experience, confessing you that I hasn´t been easy, I feel like something has been tore off from myself, occasionally I feel sad and I fell that I’m betraying a part of me and also my mate because he is a believer, but regarding that, he doesn’t oblige me to do or believe in anything, he’s very respectful.
The only thing that I can tell you for sure is that there’s no turning back, lately I have been reading with a lot more of discernment, the Wave Series and Lost Christianity, and every that passes I’m more convinced about the fact that I belong here, I know that there’s a lot to work yet, I feel in pampers, so to speak, but as Laura says, “we just need to learn what’s here thoroughly”, and believe me, I’m doing it, I practice EE every day, I make the detox diet and I’m thinking seriously to go to therapy, I found a deep therapy clinic (Jungian), I’m 53 and I feel that never is too late to heal the soul, physically I feel very good. Sometimes I feel frustrated regarding the language and not to be able to be in contact more often with all of you, is not that I’m not interested, I’m progressing slowly in that regard, but I’m constant, because I don’t want that this becomes an obstacle to my progress, I’ll put more effort and I hope to be participating in the forum more constantly, today I asked my son to translate this message, because I felt the need to bring to your attention my doubts. Thanks for reading me.
