A stupid question

[Elesia89]

Hello everyone,

I have been doing some reasearch and i have read a lot of the cassiopaea material and law of one.

The thing is, the C's predicted the planet will transit to 4d and also a 5d sphere, if i remember well, the lizards seek to control everything, i remember even haarp was used for the lizards so they also could go to 5d, even if its reserved for sto and not sts.

The thing is, i recently realized i already lived in fourth density because things physically change in the physical world, like buildings or streets, if thats even weird. I have also seen ghosts, spectres, and i catched a gray by his neck when i was out of my body once. Also i remember getting out of my body once and getting violently grab on my neck and put back on my body.

The thing is that it looks like a never ending cycle and that there will never be a trasition, 'they' are trying to make me fall for a girl and have sex. The thing is, i am a virgin, and i never had sex with any girl, instead i always sought to perfect myself into become one and independant. The truth is, in the past, my mother always sought to perfect me and make truthful to myself, i precise i never was a fan of religion, either.

After i got violently put back on my body, i began to have different field of interests. I went into an engineering school and i exchanged heavily with a professor that was arab, specialized in power electronics, and he told me he sought to be a 'grand master'. Over time, i was really studying ingeneering during the three years but I actually got independant and exchange with lots and people, and eating everything i desire. I was very positive at the time. After i failed those studies and got kicked out by the school, horrible things began to happen, with people, life, i was hearing voices, getting out of control, getting attacked by everyone who wanted to "fuck my race" and now i see specters and moving thing, electronics being so manipulated and control by dark forces i actually have little hope in my new field of study wich is Informatics now (i seek to do a bachelor, i already completed two years). I also got severly medicated because they doctors said i was schyzophrenic, but i was actually attacked every day, getting out of my own room and without a job, and no proper possibility of evolution nor spiritualty, i get drained, triggered, 'talked to', manipulated with life, all that. AND NOW people sometime talk to me and i can actually breath different kind of energies thru the heart, and 'they' seek to rise bad energies UP to my head, wich is some kind of control and brainwashing, because this or that energy actually give different mode of thinking of functionning thru the brain. I have to precise, i actually played a lot with food on myself, and now i am carnivore strictly, no plants, no medicine, no supplements, only fatty food. I experimented with all kinds of fat and i mainly eat pork, beef, and dairy, anyway, 'thats what i am breathing'. I also have to say, i have no sex drive, everything rise up on the chakras up to the heart and now the brain. Right now i am using dairy to put a barrier on my head and bury, in a sense, my heart, because the dark forces seek to trigger and make me breath VERY dirty energy on the heart, and they seek to raise it all up to my brain, wich would make me psycho and part of the hive mind, a huge chaos. So right now i am trying to maintain control over myself but i still hear voices, see things, and get triggered by people when they talk, also electronics are heavily automated and function on their own sometime.

So anyway, i seek your wisdow, because i dont know what to do, also i am certainly NOT gonna fuck any girl and i, at the same time, want to live a normal life, but it is so unintersting and corrupted i want OUT of this world and seek better things, like the astral plane of spiritual world, but if i cant control it, there is no point, and i will never live.

Looks to me this is a never ending cycle and we will never get out.

 

[heinrich]

Hello everyone,

I have been doing some reasearch and i have read a lot of the cassiopaea material and law of one.

The thing is, the C's predicted the planet will transit to 4d and also a 5d sphere, if i remember well, the lizards seek to control everything, i remember even haarp was used for the lizards so they also could go to 5d, even if its reserved for sto and not sts.

The thing is, i recently realized i already lived in fourth density because things physically change in the physical world, like buildings or streets, if thats even weird. I have also seen ghosts, spectres, and i catched a gray by his neck when i was out of my body once. Also i remember getting out of my body once and getting violently grab on my neck and put back on my body.

The thing is that it looks like a never ending cycle and that there will never be a trasition, 'they' are trying to make me fall for a girl and have sex. The thing is, i am a virgin, and i never had sex with any girl, instead i always sought to perfect myself into become one and independant. The truth is, in the past, my mother always sought to perfect me and make truthful to myself, i precise i never was a fan of religion, either.

After i got violently put back on my body, i began to have different field of interests. I went into an engineering school and i exchanged heavily with a professor that was arab, specialized in power electronics, and he told me he sought to be a 'grand master'. Over time, i was really studying ingeneering during the three years but I actually got independant and exchange with lots and people, and eating everything i desire. I was very positive at the time. After i failed those studies and got kicked out by the school, horrible things began to happen, with people, life, i was hearing voices, getting out of control, getting attacked by everyone who wanted to "-flick- my race" and now i see specters and moving thing, electronics being so manipulated and control by dark forces i actually have little hope in my new field of study wich is Informatics now (i seek to do a bachelor, i already completed two years). I also got severly medicated because they doctors said i was schyzophrenic, but i was actually attacked every day, getting out of my own room and without a job, and no proper possibility of evolution nor spiritualty, i get drained, triggered, 'talked to', manipulated with life, all that. AND NOW people sometime talk to me and i can actually breath different kind of energies thru the heart, and 'they' seek to rise bad energies UP to my head, wich is some kind of control and brainwashing, because this or that energy actually give different mode of thinking of functionning thru the brain. I have to precise, i actually played a lot with food on myself, and now i am carnivore strictly, no plants, no medicine, no supplements, only fatty food. I experimented with all kinds of fat and i mainly eat pork, beef, and dairy, anyway, 'thats what i am breathing'. I also have to say, i have no sex drive, everything rise up on the chakras up to the heart and now the brain. Right now i am using dairy to put a barrier on my head and bury, in a sense, my heart, because the dark forces seek to trigger and make me breath VERY dirty energy on the heart, and they seek to raise it all up to my brain, wich would make me psycho and part of the hive mind, a huge chaos. So right now i am trying to maintain control over myself but i still hear voices, see things, and get triggered by people when they talk, also electronics are heavily automated and function on their own sometime.

So anyway, i seek your wisdow, because i dont know what to do, also i am certainly NOT gonna -flick- any girl and i, at the same time, want to live a normal life, but it is so unintersting and corrupted i want OUT of this world and seek better things, like the astral plane of spiritual world, but if i cant control it, there is no point, and i will never live.

Looks to me this is a never ending cycle and we will never get out.

formulating the question is the right action to get the ball rolling. i hope you will get help but i cannot contribute. all the best.

 

[Yas]

Hi Elesia89,

I'm not sure what your question is, but what you say here makes sense:

So anyway, i seek your wisdow, because i dont know what to do, also i am certainly NOT gonna -flick- any girl and i, at the same time, want to live a normal life, but it is so unintersting and corrupted i want OUT of this world and seek better things, like the astral plane of spiritual world, but if i cant control it, there is no point, and i will never live.

It seems to me that the best you can do is to focus on this 'normal life' you mention a lot more, even if it sounds so uninteresting. As you say, you don't have much control over your visions, imagination, dreams or 'out-of-this-world' experiences, so I would say that for your own protection and whoever is around you, it's better not to engage with those for the time being.

What are some things that do interest you about this normal life you mention? Have you got any normal life hobbies that you can think of? I ask this because perhaps that's something you can cultivate in order to have a more interesting normal life. What do you like about this world?

Also, what does your diet and overall habits look like? Perhaps a way in which a normal life can be interesting is if you focus on taking care of your physical and mental health by taking care of your diet and habits. It would be like a challenge and aim for you to focus on while living this life, here.

An perhaps adding a bit of prayers as a way to keep a simple spiritual guidance would be good too.

It all seems a bit mundane, but, perhaps what can help is that nothing is really mundane if you know there's a meaning to it. Like, you are aware of other realms and meanings, but for your own sake and that of others, you choose to take care of yourself and to have a good enough earthly life so that this life becomes the reflection of your being and your knowledge.

Remember also that our bodies are part of our antennas which connect us to higher realms, so taking care of our earthly existence, our bodies, our psychic hygiene, etc., is like taking care of the instruments through which we can connect and if we don't do it, we may connect with something that is detrimental to us.

I hope this helps a bit and I hope you do take care of yourself.

 

[hobnob]

I'll first mention that the answer is given by the user above me. It may seem cliched, but it's a good philosophical or existential rule of thumb: you may find out that everything is worthless, but then all that's left is what you make worthwhile. The best way to do this is to choose love. There may be conflict all around you, or even supreme evil all around you. Even though we all exist on the same plane, and nothing is actually changing, rather than sink to their level, keep that north star in mind. Give it a word, like peace or love or STO, behave as if it were integrated, and make it a habit. Fortunately and unfortunately, all there is is choice. Also, you are far, far from alone.

The girl you mentioned may not be for you. There may be too much negativity associated with her. But don't make love or positivity dependent on her (or on 4D STS) as result of that. If you must be by yourself, don't make it too much of an isolation. But most of all, you can do what is possible.

I will give a warning: when you go carnivore, and then decide to eat carbs again, eating meat may suddenly feel bad. When you don't have sex or orgasms for a few months, and then do so again, you may suddenly feel bad.

If you cannot digest carbs, consider butyric acid and sulfur, and also eating fewer carbs.

Less important but you may want to know: pigs are often vaccinated with mRNA.

 

[Elesia89]

Thank you all for your answers.

I recently dicovered I may have a bacteria called 'Yersinia' and that came from eating a lot of pig fat/flesh. I am going to see my doctor if there is a way to cure it, its mainly in the heart and try to rise to my head, and thats a very dirty energy. Problem is, apperently antibiotics are the way to go, but if the antibiotics are not strong enough, the bacterias will adapt, become more resistant and the antibiotics will become ineffective, and since that bacteria duplicates very fast, it might spread everywhere in the body at some point, I already feel I have a begining of the 'Pneumonic plague' which is a lung problem caused by that bacteria, and thats the origin of the black plague, meaning, not managing correctly its consumption and feeding pattern which makes one dirty over time, some people manage, some people dont, so yeah, there will be a return of the black plague for sure... I am phlegmatic and drowsy but very energetic and wide awake at same time.... I might fear fatal insomnia, I am going to see my psychiatrist to have a new treatment for sleep...

Anyway tell me all what you think of my case, or anything else.

 

[Ryan]

The thing is, the C's predicted the planet will transit to 4d and also a 5d sphere, if i remember well, the lizards seek to control everything, i remember even haarp was used for the lizards so they also could go to 5d, even if its reserved for sto and not sts.

The C's did mention that the planet is moving into 4D, but most everything else you mention above is incorrect. You might want to re-read the sessions so you have the correct information.

I recently dicovered I may have a bacteria called 'Yersinia'

First thing, you should get a test to determine if you really have that bacteria or not. Making health decisions on the basis of "maybes" is not usually a good idea.

Best of luck!

 

[bozadi]

Looks to me this is a never ending cycle and we will never get out.

I believe that even at this moment, a part(s) of you is already out of that seemingly “never-ending cycle” since you have an individual soul essence in 5D, a higher-self in 6D, and an eternal non-individual essence in 7D. Tools or methods like meditation etc. are supposed to help us be more and more aware of these connections, but our dense identification with our 3D STS environment (“thinking 3D”) and the resulting desires and fears that counteract spiritual awareness makes it difficult to be able to use these natural connections and be basically content and fearless. Herd psychology or sense of community is necessary and good but also has its disadvantages since a great great majority of people do not lead a life exampling and encouraging that awareness of deeper, essential connections. I believe therefore the escalating apocalyptic chaos can, in a sense, be helpful because it will probably be destroying the hypnotic status quo of our enslaving 3D STS illusion, offering a chance of mental freedom and better choices for some.

They say we (like all creation) came out of 7D and now we are in a journey back to it, back to absolute union with all/one. Even now, we are connected to 7D, to absolute being, since everything that exists, including the Lizzies, is God/Being in its wider sense, although the Lizzies seem to prefer going towards non-being.

Graduation to higher or deeper levels of being, which means progressing in our existential journey, occur naturally by gradually increasing our level of STO/being/positivity/knowledge/global awareness.

This seems to be in contradiction with some people’s graduation to 4D by increasing their level of STS instead of STO, but graduation to 4D STS sounds much like “graduation to non-existence” to me. A minimal 95% STS seems so close to 100% STS, which I believe is “leaving existence”, because to be, at least 1% STO/Being would be needed, right? But how do they “rise” from 3D to 4D in this way? I think this is about the great strength of their hatred of being in its wider sense; they desperately want to possess the absolute knowledge/power of absolute being (7D) to control and eventually destroy all. I think this is why they have a great interest in the knowledge of destruction and manipulation tech. Passed 4D STS, or perhaps the midway of 4D STS, means, I think, they have decided to continue being and this means it’s now their fate to switch to STO sooner or later. Even if they don’t switch immediately, they have to gradually reduce their level of STS to progress towards higher densities. I think this is why the C’s said 4D STS “…is the highest level of density one can exist in serving only self…”. I’d like to know the comparative rates of those 4D STS beings who prefer to stop being completely, and those who prefer to continue.

I believe the increase in knowledge/awareness is synonymous and/or in parallel to the increase in positivity, except in the case of those who are racing towards 100% STS, and theirs is an exception that involves a potentially lethal stagnation in the level of their knowledge, as we know. The C’s said something like half of the “enlightened beings” are STO and the other half is STS. I’m not sure about the meaning of this but I believe it can be about a being’s awareness of one’s Godhood, although the STO and STS approach to this is very different (Are all others also supposed to be God/Absolute?)

Sorry for sidetracking to many topics. I essentially wanted to remind some of the potentially uplifting knowledge explored in the crew’s sessions and books based on that knowledge or clues.

My suggestion is, if you have a certain belief in this knowledge, don’t let yourself be discouraged by the apparently worsening conditions in our environment, it’s been basically manipulative and exploitative all along. It’s the “Matrix” that is coming close to its end, at least for those who really want to get out of it.

 

[Elesia89]

The C's did mention that the planet is moving into 4D, but most everything else you mention above is incorrect. You might want to re-read the sessions so you have the correct information.

Yes I remember that was actually from the Law of One. But maybe I got brainwashed? They tried to attain my 5D 'knowledge of being' or whatever? Because it seems, I got corrupted at the heart. Here is a piece of a transcipt :

Lower moving center - basal chakra - chakra 1
Lower emotional - sexual chakra - chakra 2
Lower intellectual - throat chakra - chakra 3
Higher emotional - heart chakra - chakra 4
Higher intellectual - crown chakra - chakra 5

The higher emotional is the heart chakra, which is the fourth chakra as told in that list, which is a green color in buddhism that is called "the mother" in buddhism, or green ray body as said in the law of one, which then say that it is the mother earth, which is the planet earth in 4d, and since the lizards have somewhat conquered my heart with dirty energy, i get triggered to feel their presence in 4d and have openings (seeing spectres, hearing sounds/voices) and be controlled and absorb energy thru my heart from my surounding environement, because, as the C said, the ulimate STS end in 4D on a planetary sphere end up being a black hole, and we know a black hole absorb and suck everything thats around, which in the inward STS pathway, and my 4d heart chakra absorb energies all around me, 'i can breath', but the thing is, they decide what i breath in my heart by telling me what to feel or sense or triggering this or that energy flow, all sorts of energy, thru auditory/visual/olphactory perception.

Now listen, I said earlier that they try to raise energy thru my heart right into the head, and the head, which is the higher crown chakra, which is the 5th chakra, which represent 5D, basically, they try to get there in 5D, remember the HAARP method on the planet? Since the head is your mind/brain, if they tell your heart what to think or feel, and that it goes straight into your head, then you get brainwashed und ultimately controlled! You become part of the hive mind! If your heart become alive and controlled and that it goes straight into your head, they control you! You are part of the Orion crusader!

Now listen again, the C and Laura have said the the chosen STS religion is Islam, and that they try to destroy Christianity, christianty is still a very STO religion, at least at the moment, and the thing is, during my engeneering studies, i consumed a lot of pork... now you are gonna say what does pork have to do with everything... The Islamist do not consume pork because they say it is very impure, if they do, they have problems, and in my city i still saw Islamist people getting pleasure eating pork from time to time... even though they shouldnt... In their past in history, Islamist people tend to consume a lot of pork, and their biology changed and adapted to that of 'being a pig' or having physical traits being that close to a pig in physiological aspects (i precise I am not racist here, I try to study all the stuff), it is reflected in their body, sometime we can see arabs looking very dirty, smelling, being impure, and necessiting religion in order to sustain some purity and cleanliness as much as possible.

The heart chakra is also called 'industria' in buddhism, and in my engeneering studies, which was about industry of course, i was basically engineering my own body with food, using lots of psychoactives such ad cocoa and tea, which goes straight into your brain and make you psycho (luckily i never used coffee, its way too strong, i never saw or understood that sort of psychopathy, but i knew well tea and cocoa all right), and I also used lots of fatty pig, very fatty, which is was very dirty. OK so now, we know that pig fat is rich in Omega-3, and it is well know that Omega-3 fuels well the heart, but wait, what sort of fatty acid? The Alpha Lioneic Acid, which is called ALA in chemistry. Now, what god does the islamist worship? 'Allah' .... Allah = ALA, thats all, and if thats fuels the heart and goes straight into your brain, then you have Allah as god, basically, and you are brainwashed and converted. Religion and biology correlate!

Now another thing, I said earlier that my heart is infested with very dirty energy, and what is that dirt? Its actually not the dirt from the flesh and fats of the pig at least not after you have properly detoxed, but it felt to be some kind of intrusive micro-Organism that could self replicate and invade, unless i could control it, and i found out what that organism was, its the bacteria called 'Yersinia' , and guessed what I searched about the 'black plague' on the internet, bodies of the deceased where reported to be infested with that bacteria. Also I have some lungs and respiratory problem, and guessed what, I can feel I have the beginning of a 'Pneumonic plague' which was the most common form of plague reported. So yeah, people being dirty, selfish, as in 'fish' (Omega-3), 'piggy backed' and maintaining that ego and self inward pulling self interest (like i did during my engeneering years) without self work and purity, they are the STS candidates, if they keep increasing in it, unless they maintain purity, I do see a lot of pure Arab in my city too, but there are some dirty 'babbling talking ones' too.

(As a side not, if you could tell me how to kill the 'Yersinia' bacteria it would be great, because I dont trust the doctor or medical establishment doing it, they are so liar, and i cant find everything on the internet)


OK so now another detail, I said earlier I used a lot of cocoa, we know cocoa greatly increase heart beat and is a fat destocker, by repeatingly eating pig fat for fuel, and using cocoa for increasing and fastening my heart beat and unloading/drinking its fat content, I became to wire neurologically my brain this way and fuel and pump my heart with speediness and with this pig fat energy, also the i guess the pig protein would gradually change my DNA as well. Anyway, I was alternating and repeating the process all the time, I became a 'Earthly Green Psycho" over the years, I also used some other substance here and there, like using lemon or vinegar for cleaning fat deposits in arteries and veins, tea for zen and self control and balance between the two emispheres of the brain, red spices for triggering burn outs, and some others...

I remember my mother called me once, saying, "Are you trying to destroy me?"
And guess what, my mother is christian and... is Scorpio sign!!!
Look below at what chakra Scorpio corespond to :

Aries ︎ - 1 > PRE-1D-sphere > 1th chakra > Lower moving center - basal chakra
Taurus ︎ - 2 > POST-1D-sphere > 1th chakra > Lower moving center - basal chakra
Gemini ︎ - 3 > PRE-2D-sphere > 2th chakra > Lower emotional - sexual chakra
Cancer ︎ - 4 > POST-2D-sphere > 2th chakra > Lower emotional - sexual chakra
Leo ︎ - 5 > PRE-3D-sphere > 3th chakra > Lower intellectual - throat chakra
Virgo ︎ - 6 > POST-3D-sphere > 3th chakra > Lower intellectual - throat chakra
Libra ︎ - 7 > PRE-4D-sphere > 4th chakra > Higher emotional - heart chakra
Scorpio ︎ - 8 > POST-4D-sphere > 4th chakra > Higher emotional - heart chakra
Sagittarius ︎ - 9 > PRE-5D-sphere > 5th chakra > Higher intellectual - crown chakra
Capricorn ︎ - 10 > POST-5D-sphere > 5th chakra > Higher intellectual - crown chakra
Aquarius ︎ - 11 > PRE-6D-sphere > 6th chakra > basically 6d
Pisces ︎ - 12 > POST-6D-sphere > 6th chakra > basically 6d

Scorpio is POST meaning it achieved realization in its completion, PRE means beginning or preparation. So anyway, that sign is the realization of the heart chakra.

And during those three years of study in the engineering field, the Scorpio year in the chinese zodiac, which was 2015, I was eating LOTS of pork and psychoactives, so I basically enginneered myself, or did I? Because I think I was being controled doing it... Dit I try to reach some ideal for myself? Or did the STS forces did it all thru me? I remember sometime being mad about what was happening to me and began using other foods to reverse or destroy the process, and alternating all the time... Now they seek to raise it all up from my heart to my brain, to control me, but i found a method to bury myself, I am safe but still trigerred most of the time, hard to find peace......

Now, I am out of options, no substances work whatsoever, and I need to kill that bacteria, if anyone could help me do that that would be great. There is also a channel called Sean O'mara on Youtube who talk about visceral fat being a bad kind of fat and that it is one of a multitude of fat in the human body, that release toxins and cause all sort of disease. Maybe that is linked to the plague? Because obese people in america tend to be sick quickly, when people dont play 'the game of life' in a proper manner, you get dirty, and eventually selfish and egoistical, you crave more, you want more, you absorb, thats the STS path, but those will become eradicated? there will be a cleansing? This black plague? Because dirty people just cant biologically maintain themselves so they will develop all sort of disease? Its weird because I remember a session when the C said it would come from a bacteria from falling asteroids? For me its just the food consumption and alchemy game, those who do it wrong are doomed...

Just keep on posting.

 

[Yas]

Now, I am out of options, no substances work whatsoever, and I need to kill that bacteria, if anyone could help me do that that would be great.

What I think is that it would be good to check it with a doctor. Also, to be very practical about all the issues you describe, not philosophize too much and treat things in as much an 'earthly' manner as possible, for now.

Not that looking at things from different points of view isn't something good, but balance is important and you seem to need more practical solutions to your issues rather than staying too much in your head and believing too much of what your mind produces.

Have you had any lab tests done regarding the bacteria you mention?

 

[Elesia89]

No but I will make one.

 

[Menna]

Looks to me this is a never ending cycle and we will never get out.

From me research and almost 20 years in esoterica I am 51+% certain that there are other realities. You did on a spiritual/consciousness level choose to come to 3D earth.

The reincarnation to 3D can switch to other realities it’s not that the cycle never ends it’s that it varies this experience is unique to you now. Once your physical body moves on you will have another experience unique to you. With different rules, “people and so on .

 

[Alejo]

Hi Elesia89,

I concur with others, you probably should slow down making so many assumptions about the nature of your experiences. I think receiving a diagnosis of schizophrenia is something to consider, it isn't necessarily being under attack.

Ground your experience, and if you need medical help, seek it. If you need psychological help, seek that also. The best way I can think of preparing ourselves for whatever it is that comes next, is to live a plentiful life in the lives we all have now.

 

[Elesia89]

Well, I dont really consider myself crazy, I do hear voices and see things but I also RECEIVE many thoughts and i try to control myself and empty my head, and people around me, are just crazy, even in my social residency, they all scream 'Do Allah' 'Allah is life', while I actuallly just dont care, some eat this and that, say this and that, they all just go crazy and behave like total addict of life in the case of consuming and living and feeling. DRINK, EAT, they all keep ordering me to DO, which is basically the act of consuming and generating energy from me to them. For instance, when I was under medications, I was basically sedated, I had a lot of libido and cravings, and I would always feel exhausted and tired, and lots of dreadful fear, and needing to eat or drink more just to compensated in lack of energy, and actually gain weight in consequence. Remember that I said previously I did catched a grey by his neck when I was out of my body once, and I do see shadows and feel them at focal point in space, the voices do try to control my behaviors, even people! But now that i dont take my pills for sleep, and that I have almost fully withdraw from antipsychotics and neuroleptics, I am waking up, and they are loosing there food source, because I dont have cravings anymore, I am just totally bored of food in general, I have no libido, the energy goes straight from the lower chakra up to the head (i guess thats what drinking tons of tea did during many years...), I just dont buy into all this nonsense, I keep myself off of others, they are too insane, and wherever I go in various cities when I travel, I see this almost everywhere, there are just interference and manipulation constantly.

I dont know if thats gonna be worse over time on this planet, who knows... I guess I just have to manage, but if I have to break heads, I will.

I even saw a shadow once, when I was asleep above my bed, it looked like some kind of very very thin shadow with thin arms and legs and a moderate head size and it was laughing psychopatically/hysterically like if it was draining me with total pleasure, very perverted, and I fell back very tired on my bed and not really able to move for a few minutes. I am learning to pinpoint them in space, the shadows are located in space, same as the voices, even if they move fast all around and when I succesfully target one then it goes silent. I do need silence, but if I keep playing the psycho by looking everywhere where 'there is a disturbence in the force' then I am gonna loose myself and go crazy, psychotic, and restlesness. I just cant carry the weight of thinning the veil by myself if I have no control and be in a persistant fight, also the people around me are NOT illuminated at all and the internet is just so much full of crap, there is almost no hope.

So I have to fall back, and try to balance and live a normal life.

I dont even know what to ask... I did ask if I could see auras like before or reach the astral planes, but the controllers are just persistent in blocking, repressing, isolating, draining, and generate negativity within my self, I just want out. And also there is the fact that they are basically enslaving humanity... Who knows whats gonna come next...

 

[Yas]

My advice continues to be: do your best to find practical guidance and solutions to your problems. Go to the doctor, go the psychologist, take care of your life here and now, and try to ignore the voices, shadows, etc., for now.

Remember what Don Juan said in Castaneda's book: "All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us.", so take care of your habits, your physical existence, your physical reality and especially your mental health and that will help with the other issues, for sure.

 

[Alejo]

So I have to fall back, and try to balance and live a normal life.

Seek help, and counseling to discuss what you have mentioned with a professional. Part of living a normal life is to be able to relate to others and interact with them without it becoming overwhelming, I think this is impossible if you continue to isolate yourself with your thoughts where there's no chance for objective feedback from life.

I think you should seek professional counseling.