A typical psychopath

K

Kimber

Padawan Learner
Not too long ago I cut off all contact with a psychopath whom I have known my entire life. I cannot state that I miss his tales of blood, guts or war designed to offend or shock people with no knowledge of his feeding routine. This year the holidays were very pleasant in comparison to prior years spent listening to his opinion (the only right opinion) on the superiority of the US, of its military and its god-given right to police the world. The predictability of this particular psychopath is objectively amazing. The entire family knows that by Turkey time we will be regaled with stories of his ability to live on grub worms- did that in wherever jungle, the jungle location is constantly changing, igniting car bombs with his superior sniper skills- never heard of that country or how the Iraqi people love him because he liberated them. My personal opinion of said accomplishments amounts to this; how can someone as lazy as I know him to be accomplish all of the above? Well its real simple, he dreamed it all up while he was napping under a jeep. By the end of the meal he has whipped himself up into a self righteous frenzy which always leads into his favorite topic of all; the superiority of the white race immediately followed by a list of traitorous family members who do not subscribe to his ignorance. Fencing words with him is a losing proposition, because he is blatantly stupid, no not ignorant, I mean ‘stupid’ in the fullest sense of the word. And he always becomes violent by smashing his fist into the table when asked to support his views with fact. That’s when everyone starts to clear out except the ‘host family’- the year before last it was my brother- the bleeding heart, who supports the psychopath’s children,( he has trouble remembering to write checks, must be the shell shock) in addition to four children of his own. There was one comment he made on this occasion which was deviously clever. In a conversation on the economy and job security he blurts out, “Well get this Ms. Liberal, I’ve got job security”, Yes he certainly does, trust me. Now I have respect for all prior military members who fought and served with dignity and courage, I respect the men and women that are in current service, but I have observed that the military does attract psychopaths, again trust me, this is fact. The individual mentioned who loves to attempt to insult or degrade by throwing the word ‘liberal’ around is my youngest brother, a brilliant military success. It appears Bush & the Jack boots gang will keep him and his ilk busy therefore they can continue to absolutely relishes their ‘secure jobs’. All I can state with certainly is that it would behoove the Military to keep him-he is close to retirement and it is my understanding that this sometimes happens.
The brother who was referred to as the ‘bleeding heart’ and I had a conversation about the psychopath the other day, we both admit things are calmer and happier without him.
Do we still love him? Do we regret severing all contact with him?
Both are hard questions we both asked. The conclusion we arrived at has meaning. We simply loved and gave to him because he was our brother.
 
The frightening Thing with these people is when they are family members they are so close to you they know all your sensitivities they can manipulate you so deeply and yet so subtly. I brought one up and never truly saw her till many years later i thought it was my bad parenting until i looked closely. The truth is my parenting was nervous and far from perfect but this fancied child came to us from a foster placement and had learned to cover up her emotions so well her pain at losing birth mother was absolute she disconnected and began controlling everyone around her from young age. I do not know if she would have been this way if she stayed with real mother. I can only say what i saw. As she grew she would hurt others but it was hard to catch her. She was socially so smart. If you ever watch children you see how even well adjusted ones are manipulative and controlling. The child i based for was even more but you did not feel it when you were in her presence you thought she was wonderful and it was often only other people pointing it out that made you see the manipulation . I noted some people were immune to her control. An a relative who had slight autism Said to me she looked at him all wrong. Later i realised he was right. If you actually watched her from a viewpoint above the interaction you saw a very predatory individual. Yet
 
Apologies for any spelling mistakes i an typing on a small phone keyboard. To continue from my previous post i started realise the child i had raised was very unwell mentally but it was well nigh impossible to prove. Some teachers saw the same things and by this time in her teens she was becoming way out of control. If you crossed her she went all out for cold revenge and could wall away from anger and plan and aide her time. This young woman now is the most amazing manipulator. I worry for what she is capable of. I believe she has put drugs in peoples food and drink. She scratches peoples cars which was a trick she used as a teen. Its Like she cannot show her anger to your face she knows how to if you back and keep herself out of picture. She gets a good meal from the distress you are in. Its Like she feeds at a distance.I realised she was socially stalking me a few years ago. She is not your typical psycho path if you net her you would no doubt ding her attractive Andaman even as she has learned to act. As i turned off all contact eventually after much pain. I worry as i know she is not some one to forgive or forget my rejection me her. Imagine the rage she cannot control her mother anymore. I have changed myself changed my life. I would urge anyone thinking of adopting to consider that whilst it may work. It can be heartache to try and heal a fancied child. They may end up damaging you. I have studied quite a few adoption disasters the adoptive child never bonds and in some cases even kills the parents. Of course this happens in families anyway but i feel social workers should know more about the disorders of the mind. I was not clever enough as a adoptive parent to get my child help.
 
Oh Bless your heart piranah. How utterly painful. You make a good point about people needing to be aware of the impact of "failure to attach" has on adopted children. Not all adopted children are psychopathic, to be sure, but pretending it is not a high possibility does everyone involved a great disservice.
 
I don't think it's exactly accurate to make statements that there is a high, or even moderate, risk of lack of attachment or psychopathy in adopted children, as a matter of course. In fact, it seems to me that such statements are irresponsible.

While attachment disorders do exist and trauma in early childhood can affect personality development, this does not mean that all adopted (or adoptable) children are at risk for such - nor that most are. Painting such issues with a broad brush merely leads to a significant lack of understanding of the reality (and wide variance) of children and human beings. fwiw.
 
Thanks for taking the time to write it up piranah, and for bouncing this thread up. I have heard of children growing to cope with psychopathic or narcissistic parent(s), and heard once distantly of a situation where it was the child that was N/P. Thanks for getting me thinking about it, children usually have a hard time with an N/P parent, and it can take a lot to rise to the occasion. Now I know that it's likely not easier the other way around. I guess it never is. Sounds like you aren't blaming yourself, that makes me a little proud.
 
I did not mean to imply that a high incidence of psychopathy occurs in adopted childden but i feel the trauma of seperation is underestimated and as i was raised myself in care i saw many damaged children most children do manage to bond with someone and some are more empathetic because of trauma. In my case i worry i was part of my childs dysfunction some of it must be my fault. I think people go into adoption not realising the potential for hidden problems that social workers can not diagnose.
 
Its a very interesting subject children with npd. We all want kids to be innocent and saveable. Having been in care for ten years i saw first hand how even young children can fester with anger and revenge. One child set fire to another childs bed. I myself was reported to try and dominate adults age five. I had come from a home where i had had to be the adult from age four or so. I had an incident with my child where she put pins on the stair and called me down in a sweet voice. I kept sweeping it away because i thought how terrible to label a child. I thought love would triumph actually with some personalities love is a weak spot they can use to get away with stuff.
 
The trouble with Alex a book by Melanie Allen about an adoptive mothers brave tale of a child who was too damaged to bond positively
 
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