Abuse and meditation

BadgerTheWise

The Force is Strong With This One
Hello

I am hoping this is the right thread for this.

I have been given advice and have tried on a few occasions to meditate, with a limited amount of success. I know that meditation is very important for growth in many different ways, but I am apprehensive to continue with meditation.

I have experienced abuse of all kinds as a child, and I when I was a child I did something to someone that I have regretted my whole life. It is something very out of character for me and I have spent my whole life trying to understand why. I've only talked to a few people about this so It gets me very worked up when I do. I know that my apprehension from this is what is holding me back.

I won't ask for details of anyone's abuse, but I am wondering if anyone can recommend some tools to help deal with this. I had a psychologist for a while but I couldn't afford anymore sessions and we weren't able to touch on this in the brief time I had with him. I am curious if Eiriu Eolas can help?

Thank you
 
Hi there,

Im a survivor also.
Ive found using 5htp and melatonin has helped me process and deal with alot of my past trauma.
I think the deeper sleep that comes from taking these supp's allows my mind to work through it.

Emdr is a very helpful tool, but alot of the other stuff psychologist's use is about thoughts rather than feelings. I had repressed emotion/feelings, so changing thoughts was totally pointless, like putting a plaster on a broken leg.
I would also recommend hypnothrapy, ive had this - and it opened doors to my past.

Cant comment on meditation, as i havent had enough experience of using it, but i plan on making it part of my daily routine in the future.
All the best.
 
BadgerTheWise said:
I am curious if Eiriu Eolas can help?

Hi BadgerTheWise,

From my personal experience yes, it very much can.

Years ago I went through therapy for an abusive past which cleaned a lot or garbage, but not all of it. When EE was released in 2009 I started doing it and an incredible amount of emotional garbage began to be released, gradually and slowly. It started with me feeling a lot more emotional, although it wasn't so overwhelming as to not enable me to function. It was gentle, gradual, and effective beyond what I could have ever expected. Memories started to come to the surface and I began to read more on disfunctional family dynamics. My perspective from what really happened in my past went through an 180degree turn.
Now looking back, I can't believe the person I was back then, and the person I am now. To be perfectly honest with you, I had long accepted that I would just die with the garbage stuck inside. Well, now I won't :)

You might want to start with only the 3 stage breathing, the first part of the program, and the prayer of the soul, the last part of the program. Baha or round breathing, which is in the middle of the 1hr program can be a bit too much if you've had a traumatic past as it tends to greatly accelerate the emotional release. Some people who find the Baha to be too emotionally intense just stick to 3 stage breathing and prayer of the soul for a while and gradually reintroduce the baha starting with only one cycle, then 2, then finally 3.

Also, I would suggest you to read the Big 5 psychology books recommended by the forum:

Myth of Sanity - Martha Stout
The Narcissistic Family - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb
Unholy Hungers - Barbara E. Hort
In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon

And I would also add:

Children of Trauma - Jane Middleton-Moz
The Drama of the Gifted Child - Alice Miller

Reading through this material can be EXTREMELLY helpful, by starting to shed a light on different types of abuses and childhood traumas, the understanding you gain from it brings, by itself, a healing quality. In other words, understanding your past is the first step towards healing. I found that having an objective view of what happened, particularly if it was traumatic, is pretty difficult, if not impossible. By gaining understanding of the underlying dynamics that coloured one's past we can finally start becoming free from it.

Hope this helps, and all the best
 
If my memory not fail me, E.E also works with a way to hypnosis, a process to auto-hypnosis. You can see the introduction to E.E. in its official website, read the forums and the experience of others. It is a tool enough integrated to help in that regard. These changes only you can feel them to the extent that you perform the exercises. In addition to helping you self with the material you are invited to read. It would be good to have at least one day for do the entire program. Especially by the ba-ha.
 
melatonin said:
Emdr is a very helpful tool, but alot of the other stuff psychologist's use is about thoughts rather than feelings. I had repressed emotion/feelings, so changing thoughts was totally pointless, like putting a plaster on a broken leg.
I would also recommend hypnothrapy, ive had this - and it opened doors to my past.

Interesting that you mention EMDR. That was the treatment that I was trying with the help of my psychologist before I had to stop. I was not confident that it was helping me, so I will take it as a sign that that was not the direction for me. I have been seriously considering hypnotherapy, my challenge with that has been money as it can be very expensive especially if multiple sessions are required.

Thank you for the melatonin advice, I have been taking liquid melatonin before bed for about a week now. I definately notice that I sleep better and longer, but my dreams are all over the place! I am not sure about 5htp, but I will look into it thank you.

gertrudes said:
Also, I would suggest you to read the Big 5 psychology books recommended by the forum:

Myth of Sanity - Martha Stout
The Narcissistic Family - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb
Unholy Hungers - Barbara E. Hort
In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon

And I would also add:

Children of Trauma - Jane Middleton-Moz
The Drama of the Gifted Child - Alice Miller

Oh my more books ! :scared: I'm not complaining at all, I know the work is necessary, i'm just trying to find time for the stack of books I am reading right now as it is! :P

Thank you, I have added these books to my list of 'must reads'.

I can relate when you say that you had problems being objective about your experience. I feel like they are my parents they should know better, but I've found that most adults are just large sized kids deep down. I am able to break the cycle and learn and grow spiritually and emotionally so that I don't repeat the same mistakes so why won't they? I don't feel like I can be objective when I don't even have all the facts, which is why I would like to dig into my repressed memories to find out what they have been keeping from me.

I am attending an Eiriu Eolas workshop in Edmonton tomorrow which will get me introduced to the program.
Thanks all
 
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