Well, I've lived here all my life, and rarely left. And I do see some pretty weird things going on from time to time... I agree people here are ignorant, but I didn't know it was as much worse as you all have been saying. Makes me wonder why I decided to incarnate here. I feel I've had my little scrapes with STS, but they haven't been overtly present in my life in a long time. I live in Crystal River, so things are a little bit less crazy than they are in that urban jungle down south... A lot of what you say is interesting, I could write my entire life story to cover all of the aspects. To add to your third eye energy thing, and feeling the Force, so to speak, I have felt a connection with the plants that grow in my area. It's like we can feel each other and talk in some way. I don't really know how you communicate with 1st density, but you can feel them, just as you can feel a person when they enter your presence. I've always liked plants for some reason, when I was a little kid I remember not wanting to step on a single blade of grass. I kinda had to get used to hurting the grass because, well, people that say they are abducted by aliens are more normal than people who are concerned about making the grass uncomfortable... Anyway, we own about 5 acres of property, and I must say, that is interesting too. Most of Florida is covered by oaks and pine trees, but where I live, it looks like a rainforest. Perhaps it is not the lushest place I've ever seen, but it is unusual in Citrus County. I've seen the land change as I've grown up. When I was very young, there were lots of trees and brush like briars and prickley thornbushes. Then it died down for awhile during the drought, and then recently, there have been a lot more trees, these very lush vines, and ferns. It is interesting I started to notice all of this after I got involved in this spritual stuff. But, we have been getting a lot more rain recently, so perhaps there is a logical explanation. I went out there to meditate one time, and that was certainly an interesting experience. I sat in this little minature grove that is completely surrounded by trees, vines, and ferns. And when I closed my eyes and opened my mind, I felt something similar to the energy described earlier. The air itslef was literally alive. Then it started to rain, and I stayed out there. The plants and the rain gave me so much energy, I'd never felt like that before. It was like a totally different state of being. And I watch them destroy the forest around me and it has made me very angry, and has even made me want to kill the person responsible at times. All of this for a bunch of plants? It is so different, and so strange when you see them as a living being like you and me. It is weird when you can feel them, not really understand them, but feel their presence, and I realize I sound like a crazy love and light freak when I talk about this...
Anyway, I think we've gotten off the main topic presented here. In my humble opinion, sex should be avoided, it is what got us all into this mess in the first place. There are two exceptions to this though. 1. Sex is part of third density existance and 2. It is neccessary for reproduction. So, my verdict is, get to know someone, get to know them for a really long time. If you become convinced that they are your true love through as objective analysis as possible, then you should share your intimacy with each other. But, that is the idealized situation, there are always hormones, those pesky programs, and our terrible 3rd density perception of things. I am a guy, and people look at me like I have two heads when I say I'm not after hot girls. But that stuff is so superficial and diversionary, my perfect idea of a girlfriend/wife would be someone I wouldn't have to wear a mask in front of, someone who understood who I am, and someone who was also on the path to understanding themselves. But that is only a dream. I doubt it would come true, and even if it did I don't know what I'd do...
I think sorrow is part of the awakening process. Think of how you were when you were "normal." You seem to have been robbed of your childhood to embark on your spiritual quest as I have, but I believe there was a time when you considered yourself normal. Normal people have their events where they feel sadness, remorse, and regret. But think of how many of those events are trivial, if not natural. Now think of what you have experienced. You probably feel that the common perceptions of these feelings barely scratches the surface of what you've felt. Imagine if the MCS was dissolved and everyone had to see reality for what it really was; no deceptions, everything was in plain sight. Earth would be the most depressed planet in the whole galaxy. As you discover the negativity that we live in, you will feel sorrow because you have been conditioned to believe that this negativity doesn't exist. And if you are moving into an STO polarity, all of the STS energy is going to try to destroy you by nature. You can't stand to see all of the negativity. But maintaining your positive nature against this overwhelming negative influence accelerates your learning experience, and makes you stronger. Feeling sorrow and shock is part of the quest, and as long as you're feeling it, you'll know you're moving away from the cruelness and heartlessness of STS.
Anger is a different can of worms. As STS beings, we feel the need to go out and destroy something when we're angry. It gives us pleasure. I believe STO experiences anger, but it is channeled towards change and away from destruction. It becomes similar to something we would call determination. The determination is used to create change for the benefit of all who wish for it. If you can channel your anger in this way, I believe you can effectively turn a negative into a positive. It is difficult to channel your anger into something positive without having an agenda, or trying to "save" something. If you cannot, it is better to keep a lid on it. Most anger I have experienced is really relatively trivial, and if you sit and contemplate it for awhile, it will leave your system.
Your inquiry about wanting to leave the physical world hits home with me. I've laid out under the stars at night, thinking that home is "out there" and not "down here." I've had dreams, daydreams, even perhaps memories of being in a more positive place, living out a cosmic life devoid of confusion and ripe with understanding and purpose. I suppose this is where your imagination kicks in as well. It blurs together. What is real? What is made up? What is disinformation? I do not know. In this matter, I am just as confused as you. But this is part of the path as well. We want to return home. Our souls have realized that third density is superficial, trivial, and after you have learned many lessons here, it seems meaningless. I believe this is what you're feeling. Physicality becomes almost repulsive, because it seems like you can't accomlish anything in this state. You have likely gotten a taste of ethereal energies as I have, and to me, it seems like home. Sometimes I feel like I am on a quest far away from a home I'll never see, or perhaps the quest is to discover home. Either way, I believe what you're feeling is the fruitlessness of third density, and the desire of realizing the essence of yourself. With that knowledge, you are ready to begin the work, and have most likely already done so, just not consciously. I have such a long way to go before I eliminate all the little I's and comprehend what I have said in it's entirety, but also remember that third density is not the density of understanding.
Well, I'm sorry for writing a post a mile long. A lot of what you said resonates deeply with me, and I feel better now that I have thought about this and written about it. The power of networking never ceases to amaze me. I hope this helps. If it doesn't perhaps you shouldn't listen to a teenager who reads too much and thinks too much:)
