addiction for prediction

[Sodajaxon]

prediction is obscure, yet for me im looking for the words, the paragraphs that will make my life easier. i have been doing google searches on the year of the OX vs rooster, good news ther. Yet, I wont stop i have taken to my Mothers tarot cards, and reading sometwice a day. Im in a lot of trouble, and am looking for a way to mitigate the damages.

In the horoscopes and the tarot cards im lookin for a job, and none can be seen or found- and yes, yes i have been doing the footwork. Im considering surrendering my self to the court as my interview fell thru. for the 1st job. 2 drunk drivings in two years make an alcoholic for the law and for employers. im 39 yrs old and these are the only 2 marks against me since i started driving.
Luck is the name of the game for Roosters born in 1969, and i been applying to all kinds of jobs, hoping to hit the shot in the dark. From factory to customer service, i can do it.

but i have been hanging on posts from like astrodienst.com astrology.com and others, and have been getting zero call backs- my family tells me to make my own bizness, around computers.

thing is , im doing what i would do with out the prediction posts, aka astrodienst and others, i fight the urge to read what it says, 'for me', lately -alot!
why is this? am i so scared as to employment and my future ?
yet i keep reading it , and other sites around my birth day.

since i got busted for a 2nd dui, i have not been the same i check and recheck my thoughts about everything one too many times, and am now more fearful of the future, so much so im thinking of using my remaing monies to run to brazil.

Too completely start over, neither of my Dui's hurt anyone except me. fines costs etc- pulled over in a couple of blocks from the bar, I think i am a hate magnet- so i think i would be better off and my family too if was way way far away from here.
but i keep checking the daily es to see what my future holds.

`thanx
Steven'

 

[RedFox]

Hi Steven

Your sense of anxiety/panic is quite palpable, as such it appears to be driving your thoughts/actions at the moment. It is running your programs at full tilt.
They may even railroad you to Brazil.

So perhaps your first order of business is to gain some perspective/objectivity of your overall situation?
Take some long walks in the fresh air, to 'clear your head'.

After this you need some practical tools to deal with the situation your in. Perhaps an AA group as a safety net? And some sort of financial aid.
The court may even help you with this/look favorably on it.

After this the next step would be to find the psychological tools to help work out why this has happened and is a repeating pattern in your life.
The 4 main psychological books recommended on the forum are a good starting point, and perhaps even some counseling too?
Perhaps even some music may help with this (and clearing your head, its always helped me).

I know from my own experience with addictions/panics that (as I'm still learning) it has to do with unhealed traumas, and the anxiety/panic/repeating behaviour is all driven by them in a well practiced manner, as these behaviours where learnt as a child to protect your wounds/stop further hurt. Now as an adult they need to be dropped, and (from my current understanding) this takes objective observation and the courage to face/embrace/let go of the old wounds/pain from which these defencive behaviour sprang.

So as to what your future holds? This is up to you, and what you decide will drive you.
But if you ask for help and are open to acting on it, then I think it will be a positive learning experience.

 

[anart]

prediction is obscure, yet for me im looking for the words, the paragraphs that will make my life easier. i have been doing google searches on the year of the OX vs rooster, good news ther. Yet, I wont stop i have taken to my Mothers tarot cards, and reading sometwice a day. Im in a lot of trouble, and am looking for a way to mitigate the damages.

You appear to be looking outside of yourself for answers that are to be found inside of yourself. There are no shortcuts - not even to Brazil.

In the horoscopes and the tarot cards im lookin for a job, and none can be seen or found- and yes, yes i have been doing the footwork. Im considering surrendering my self to the court as my interview fell thru.

Not sure what you mean by 'surrender yourself to the court' - you live in the US, correct? If you weren't imprisoned after the second offense, I'm not sure how you can 'surrender yourself to the court'.

for the 1st job. 2 drunk drivings in two years make an alcoholic for the law and for employers.

Well, what do you think it says about you?

im 39 yrs old and these are the only 2 marks against me since i started driving.

Unfortunately, DUIs aren't just 'marks' - they are never removed from your record.

Luck is the name of the game for Roosters born in 1969, and i been applying to all kinds of jobs, hoping to hit the shot in the dark. From factory to customer service, i can do it.

Consider the current job market as well, it is very, very tough out there.

but i have been hanging on posts from like astrodienst.com astrology.com and others, and have been getting zero call backs- my family tells me to make my own bizness, around computers.

So, are you basing your job search on these astrology websites? I think your family has a good idea.

thing is , im doing what i would do with out the prediction posts, aka astrodienst and others, i fight the urge to read what it says, 'for me', lately -alot!
why is this? am i so scared as to employment and my future ?
yet i keep reading it , and other sites around my birth day.

Sounds like you're looking for answers outside of yourself when you are the only one with the answer.

since i got busted for a 2nd dui, i have not been the same i check and recheck my thoughts about everything one too many times, and am now more fearful of the future, so much so im thinking of using my remaing monies to run to brazil.

I think it might be worth examining how heavily you are drinking. I also wonder why you think things would be better in Brazil? No matter where you go, there you are - and the problem is not outside of you. Perhaps getting in touch with a good cognitive behavioral therapist would be a possibility?

Too completely start over, neither of my Dui's hurt anyone except me.

If you had not been stopped, however, they could have hurt someone else very badly...

fines costs etc- pulled over in a couple of blocks from the bar,

Not sure why being pulled over a couple of blocks from the bar would be relevant. I do know that the DUI laws in the US have become increasingly stringent, but that is the system and we have to be aware of it.

I think i am a hate magnet- so i think i would be better off and my family too if was way way far away from here.

Sounds like you want to run away - problem is that won't change anything and, perhaps, your family would appreciate it if you would stay and work on yourself and work this all out.

but i keep checking the daily es to see what my future holds.

It does sound like you might be dealing with some general addiction issues. If you haven't previously considered therapy, it might be worth while - and it is likely time to stop looking outside of yourself for magic answers to problems only you can solve? fwiw.

 

[Renaissance]

Perhaps even some music may help with this (and clearing your head, its always helped me).

It could be good to be cautious with music. I noticed some types can envelope non-voluntary suffering. I think one of my favorites, Sarah Mclachlan is a good example.

 

[Laura]

Also, runaway thoughts can be associated with body toxicity or hormone imbalances. I'd recommend reading "The Ultra-Mind Solution."

 

[Sodajaxon]

Thank you all for reply'z on me post-it. the AA meetings seem to be more up my alley. Unless of course. Misz Laura has a supercalafragilisticespealodicous reading from the C's, ill stick to the meetings. (heheh).

the outside in perspective is very revealing in terms of my life, my Mom is Scottish- from Blairgowrie and me Dad is Detroitish from Michigan. My father tells me in 2 sentences that , I am not an alcoholic and then locks me out of the main house. He drinks his wine and blasts his music and says to me " whats next murder? rape? armed robbery?" I tell him -'no - none of that, but hey- A good party and i am there!'

I first discovered Cassiopaea, in 2003 when i was living in Largo fla, and reading 'the wave' series. I tried to go to, and - never could make a visit too Laura and Frank's meeting's at the time. By the time i did decide to go a 'reading' they were having a house lottery. So i left that idea alone and went for the spring break girls. palm springs - palm harbor- and NewPort Richey was way to far north compared to clearwater beach!! any thing north of larghetto was horse country and being a player was all about staying on the beach. ST Petersburg was closer then a stone's throw, just a few minutes down us 19 and bam! One was hanging out with the Elites, Lotsa Yahct owners. lots of em rich and drunk! Some of them were so rich they had a driver for the boat and we would go to YBor City. (like a small NewOrleans, every every weekend/).

anywho~ no need to convince any of you that i have addictions of the barley. peeps yousta call me, "the bilge pump"- within the last 5-6 years, that's recent enuff ya?
so to answer Anart's response ya ya `Maybe', and to listen to Los and Redfox, no no` music and me with those kinds of sounds just make me weep. I do like the taking a walk- no Ipod's - being here in west MI, ther is no WI-FI, and it is hard trying to explain it too others. a walk and a meeting they seem to level me out.
Thank you all

~thanx again`
Steven