Al Today

[Al Today]

This is my brain dump.
Me today.
Been coming a long time.
Before the internet is gone, I gotta speak out.
I cannot tell you if I came into this world with a smile, or screaming...
I do have flashbacks though.
You.?.?.?
Dreams maybe.?.?.?
We pass through a veil of forgetfulness.
It is very powerful...
In my opinion, dreams are the first interface.
A couple of my dreams took many years to finally make sense.
You get them too.?
First line of exposure.
Research answers questions.
Seeing information from multiple sources.
Always seeking.
If I could, I would love to walk into places that have original documents.
Be a bug on that wall.
I ain't got the resources.
So...
This is all second hand information.
Unless you can WAKE UP and allow yourselves to be taught.
Your choice, my choice.
I don't give dissertations.
Just my opinions.
After all, this is only a dream.
WAKE UP.
Sad, isn't this.
World events, I mean.
Killing, terrible death, food.? Possibly...
All through my life, something in my dreams trying to catch me.
Always coming from the skies.
It would scare the hell outta you too.
They haven't caught me, yet.?.?.?
All these "years".
I am so very grateful I am here in Cornville.
Here, I have water, fish, nuts, and no anticipation.
Gotta prepare, somewhat, yes?
Can't run away from the CLOUD.
Having ignorant thoughts like this...
Do we have a soul.?.?.?
From my old days, a deep friend of mine believed that upon death, it's just a void.
Over... Done... Void... NOTHING...
Makes me think of Organic Portals. Yeah, that works...
Simply amazing to see.
50% of peoples, here.
Wow, I believe that.
Seems that way from what I've seen.
Look to the skies.
Watch.
That is my confirmation.
That is what WE will see.

 

[atreides]

Just breath man, try posting with a single Haiku, or maybe as prose?

 

[Al Today]

Thanks.
I had a burst of emotions that came to a head last weekend.
I just busted out, emotionally.
Been building to another plateau, I guess.
I really need to do deep breath relaxation more often.
This could be all part of "growing" up...

 

[Cyre2067]

I like the rambling. It reminds me of how my mind works. I do something similiar, but not as poetic.

Dreams? No... never serious ones, mostly entertainment, and that scares me. A few i've had seem "relevant" but im not one to interpret dreams, nor have i bothered to learn how, too many distractions to pick up that skillset.

I have a soul, but i can't find it. It's hidden under piles of garbage the world has heaped upon it. I like the garbage, i don't really, but i'm hypnotised to believe i do. I am sleeping when i play in the garbage, awake when i am bored.

Boredom kills the predator.

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I like the garbage, i don't really, but i'm hypnotised to believe i do.

Like when people go to bars every day and spend hours upon hours just drinking and watching baseball, every day (I work in a bar, it is horror!) They only have what, 70, 80, maybe 90 or so years to live (or maybe about 3-4 now given the world situation) - most of which will be spent on something like this or a similar mindless activity. It's amazing that when we're doing something, our perspective from WITHIN that thing can be "oh yeah this is great, I love this, I hope I can do this as long as and as often as possible!". And then later when you're doing something on a totally different level, you can look back on the other thing and cringe as your mind cannot comprehend what possessed you to so utterly waste the little precious time you have on this planet.

Another example is something like a videogame or watching TV. At the moment you're doing it it's the best thing in the world, you couldn't be happier. But when you snap out of it and do something more important you may begin to wonder how you found the previous activity entertaining at all and have absolutely NO interest of ever gong back to it. Until you find yourself doing it again that is lol. I no longer even watch TV, I've lost all interest in TV except when I truly have nothing else to do - which is usually while I'm in bed falling asleep.

But even then, I would lay in bed at night watching TV, and I have to wake up early in the morning to go to work. But I'm watching TV anyway instead of going to sleep, and suddenly I'd realise and think to myself "Wait a minute, why the hell am I watching this? I don't even like this movie/show/program, and I have to wake up really early! I won't even remember or CARE about this stupid program tomorrow or ever again, so WHY on earth am I watching something I don't even care about and this way ensuring that tomorrow I'll be a tired zombie all day for NO REASON!?!?!". Of couse I just turn off the TV and go to sleep as soon as that realisation hits me. But until that thought came, I was just "sucked into" this mindless and totally pointless activity and was very happy with myself.

"Self" being the operative word. Esoteric teachers talk about our many "i"'s but there's really nothing like witnessing it within yourself. It is not just some vague or subjective philosophical concept that is only good for intellectual entertainment. Sometimes in moments of doubt or confusion it may seem this way, but each time when I SEE this happening in myself and it is so clear and profound that there's just no other words to explain this phenomenon. There are so many people inside me that are SOOOOO profoundly and utterly different it is amazing. But also there are many levels, some of those people are only interested in "primal" levels of things, some a little higher, some much higher, etc. And the actual content of those interests is contradictory, and no matter how many times I witness it, it is AMAZING each and every time, and every time I just think, "wow" - as in, I can't believe I actually spent time enjoying this or that activity when I now realise just how stupid and senseless and wasteful and mindless it was, etc.

Sometimes there's a tendency to say "well everybody has different interests". But this is a predator's way of distorting the reality of this. Not just different, the interests we all hold inside are often entirely in opposition to one another, but because they never (or rarely) meet, no cognitive dissonance occurs. But when they meet, knowing from my own experiences, I am always shocked and amazed by the absurdity of having 2 such contradictory things within myself. Of course it is always followed by confusion since then I no longer understand which side I truly hold - apparently I hold both! And now I am forced to choose and it's never a clear cut choice since PART of you is totally adamant about one side, and another part is JUST as convinced and seeks the other side.

But when you realise this, it's funny because when you see other people arguing about this very thing, you suddenly realise that another day they could very easily switch roles and argue for the opposindg point instead and not even realise it. Come on, that's so horrifying it's funny! :P