Am I under attack?

[HiThere]

It ist not easy to get power if the attacks take place in ever shorter time intervals. They become ever more violently and more common. I cry terribly and am completely helplessly delivered. There is a quotation: My home is castle. But my home become to a bad place because my cildren are laugh and have fun during I cant understand the situation. They dont feel bad or blush for they doings.

This sounds like a difficult situation to manage, and must be a heavy burden for you. Try to think through if there is any way left for you to communicate the gravity of the situation to your children.
If they cannot understand that their behaviour makes the situation worse for all of you, then in my opinion you have to consider yourself first, and strive to create a personal space around yourself where you don't give your children's actions power over your emotions. Try not to feel guilty about this.
Children often sense when adults distance themselves, and if this happens maybe they will understand more about the destructiveness of their behaviour through your distancing yourself.
Like dannybananny said:

Maybe in these situations is a good thing to observe your emotions and thoughts when they arise, and then you'll notice with time that they aren't you if you don't react. It doesn't takes a lot of energy, just some attention.

Those who are closest are probably according to C's primary portals of attack, probably because they have most influence on the person via emotional and family connection. Maybe remembering that they are portals and that isn't true them can be helpful in this case.

 

[hesperides]

Meanwhile easy things will be become hard. It is as nothing more to be succeeded in my normal life. For example to describe my car have a small problem. Since two weeks I ask for helf. But everty day the garage put me of a another day. I see the garage have enough time, more freetime there are no cars to fix in it. But it is no time to help me although i work at the moment on this place.

Yeap! That´s one of the now too commun latest effect of people losing their commitment capacity. Your comment also recalls me of how upset I felt -and still feel when things warm up too far-, when unexpected and often unexplainable situations started holding it´s grip on me, which would then induce me in some kind of paralytic state together with a lot of emotional anger and frustration. I´m learning not to spend time in thinking of external things like inhospitable beings or bad luck amongst others, that would explain my bad situation. It´s really a no-win situation. In my experience, this leaves me with no energy at all for addressing an adequate behaviour and/or thinking to a specific issue. At the end, what matters are my decisions, as tinny as they may be, of what is most important to me in a specific moment whereas giving energy to external facts that would explain my bad situation is very, very body and brain and heart draining. The EE breathing and psychologic books you have been suggested is a very good thing for top urgent help, like it seems is your case right now. It made wonder for me too!

It is so difficult to write it in english

I understood you well even if I´m not English either. :) I know spending 2-3 hours like me in posting in a foreign language may require some serious effort as aside of the translation difficulty per se, there are also psychological things that comes up during the translation work like thinking you know what you want to share but can´t use your current way of expressing youself here, which by the way, - and this is the good side of it - makes you perhaps aware that you may not have a very clear idea of what is your real psychological state, and this may even be irritating. When I´m expressing myself in my own language, I´ve noticed it´s much easier to deceive myself by just using vague descriptions through commun expressions, with the appearance to be "accurate" at first. In a word, translating can be uncomfortable but it makes me more aware of what I´m trying to convey.


Mod's note: Edited to change "code" for "quote" for the quotations.

 

[stefan444]

It ist not easy to get power if the attacks take place in ever shorter time intervals. They become ever more violently and more common. I cry terribly and am completely helplessly delivered. There is a quotation: My home is castle. But my home become to a bad place because my cildren are laugh and have fun during I cant understand the situation. They dont feel bad or blush for they doings.

Meanwhile easy things will be become hard. It is as nothing more to be succeeded in my normal life. For example to describe my car have a small problem. Since two weeks I ask for helf. But everty day the garage put me of a another day. I see the garage have enough time, more freetime there are no cars to fix in it. But it is no time to help me although i work at the moment on this place.

My nerves are down so I cry often.

It is so difficult to write it in english

your situation sounds terrible. What went through you I am very sorry. But I dont know if you really help the forum provides. Maybe it will help you more, cope better with your current life, when you think about the following:

- Your children by your suicide an enormous responsibility has been overloaded. They live with the fear that you're doing it again. They carry this burden, which should not bear a child. A young person should find his way and especially at this time is uncertain. Therefore, he needs roots and comfort of mother and father.

- Teenagers need to differentiate themselves on their way to your self from others, especially their parents. Everything to do what the parents will live what they initially rejected. The only way people can be independent from them. Very often live and love like this teenager later as their parents. But on the way they have to find whether with punk hairstyle, piercing, music.

As a parent you need in those years, especially a lot of numbness , so that you not hear frequent whims and mood swings. Everything is embarrassing. If you realize that every parent of teenagers shall pass, you're not alone and it should not take it personally - maybe that's a help.

My advice therefore can only be:
Do not take the words of your children in person, they do it out of fear. They are children and do not otherwise defend themselves. Attempt to understand them and make them feel that this fear is unfounded.

WIth best wishes

Stefan

 

[Jacques]

Hi stefan444,

Welcome to our forum. :)

We recommend all new members to post an introduction in the Newbies section telling us a bit about themselves, how they found the cass material, and how much of the work here they have read.

You can have a look through that board to see how others have done it.