Anart that thing you said when they said then you said...giggle

[Lirpa]

Anart,

In spite of the title of the thread, this is a serious inquiry :) I am making fun of my vagueness in advance.

A few weeks or so there was a thread started...I cannot recall the topic but I do recall a very good post that you made in regards to how one explains/glosses over inappropriate behavior of another person to justify their behavior as acceptable. It caught my eye because I did that for ten years with my ex! You coined it perfectly.

My early Alzheimer's has kicked in and I cannot find it!

Does this ring a bell?

Edit: I think it was the thread where the one lady said she had studied for years with a follower of Gurdjieff. She aggressively attacked you in the thread and she ended up getting banned I think. She had a website where she made herbal stuff or something and sells her psychic services.

Another Edit: I remembered her name was Alwyn. I checked out all of her posts (74) but your definition was not in any of those so I was mistaken as to what thread your definition was in. Sorry my query is so ambiguous!

 

[Gawan]

Hi "Lirpa",

I think it was the thread where the one lady said she had studied for years with a follower of Gurdjieff. […]

maybe you can find for what you are looking for in this thread?:

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=8784&p=2

 

[Meg]

I cannot recall the topic but I do recall a very good post that you made in regards to how one explains/glosses over inappropriate behavior of another person to justify their behavior as acceptable.

Hi Lirpa,
This post explains it as well. http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=7869.msg56431#msg56431

 

[anart]

=) looks like Megz might have found it since that was the one that came to mind when I read the question - if not let me know and I can dig around some more since I know it's been brought up a few times. As far as the vagueness of the question - it's most probably not Alzheimer's - it's just that the Pug who is controlling your mind got distracted with a squeeky toy... ;)

Seriously, though, were it not for 'critical correction', my last disaster of a relationship would have never gotten off the ground - it's a really powerful and dangerous thing - another reason that knowledge is protection.

 

[Lirpa]

Woo hoo I found it by searching "critical correcting" (I could not remember what the term for it was).

It is in this thread: http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=7869

Ha ha boy I was not even close as to recalling what thread it was in! I think I need some Ginko...

Thanks everyone for taking a trip into the abyss of my confused mind and helping me :) Yes Pug Mind Control very well may be the source of my digression! Makes sense now that I think about it. What is next...using the carpet as a grooming tool? :O.

Here is part of the quote:

"I interpreted it as meaning trying to think of mitigating excuses to explain someone's unacceptable behavior. The "be nice" program.

Yep, pretty much. 'Critically correcting' simply means that you are projecting your own values/motivations onto someone else's pathological behavior. This happens a lot when people without pathologies deal with people with pathologies. Basically, the normal person can't imagine carrying out pathological behavior, so they make all sorts of excuses and reasons for the behavior in their own mind - they 'critically correct it' - instead of seeing the pathology for what it is - deviant behavior - they generate 'reasons' for it - that make it more understandable to them. One example would be my sibling who thinks that Bush is just a little stupid but well-meaning because no human being could really be that evil. She cannot see the pathology for what it is, so to make herself more comfortable and to keep the 'bigger world' within the bounds of what she understands human behavior to be, she 'critically corrects' his behavior to fit her norm.

Now, we're of course not discussing something as obvious as Bush, but it's one example of how it can work.

That's a 'non-technical' definition, but hopefully it makes sense. Basically, it seems you have the tendency (in this case) to 'correct' deviant behavior in your own mind instead of just accepting that most people who 'act out' are doing so because that is simply who/what they are - not because they just haven't figured out 'how to act'. So, yeah - generally a 'be nice' program - just a specific one regarding the interpretation of deviant behavior.

By the way, critical correction is very, very common - I catch myself doing it quite often, so it was not an insult or criticism, just an observation."