Backwards

[RedFox]

Well, normally I'd like to think I'm pretty good at working out the meaning of my own dreams (if they have any), this one however had a bit of an impact so need some perspective to see it clearly. Any thoughts welcomed.

My dreams have been pretty vivid lately, and it was only the last part of several dreams that I'd like to ask about.
I was in a flat somewhere (presumably my own). My perspective shifted from inside the flat, to outside the door, inside the door was a young women singing to me.
Whatever parts of the dreams that where going on before this continued but I was transfixed by this women.
It was sort of like watching a music video in some ways, but it was intended for me.
It was all backwards. Ever seen a video played backwards? Well she was running backwards in time, knew this, and was doing her best to sing forwards (to her she would have to start at the end of the song and sing every word backwards). It was the weirdest most beautifully spell binding thing I've ever dreamt.
What struck me though was the huge amount of effort involved in trying to communicate something to me (in a non native format to herself)
I unfortunately don't remember the words of the song. :(
However, one of the final verses was about the heart/my heart. I felt a flood of emotions when she sang this, a sort of recognition and acceptance. I stepped forward into the apartment and placed my hand on her heart.
I woke up in a flood of tears, but it didn't feel like sadness.

I've had emotionally impacting dreams before, but nothing like this.
If anyone has any insight or guidance on the possible meaning I'd appreciate it.

 

[manitoban]

Hi Redfox,

Just a few thoughts -

My perspective shifted from inside the flat, to outside the door, inside the door was a young women singing to me.

This may be about self observation - to begin self study, one must divide oneself into the observer and the observed. Thus the young woman actually represents you and you are observing yourself from the outside.

It was all backwards. Ever seen a video played backwards? Well she was running backwards in time, knew this, and was doing her best to sing forwards (to her she would have to start at the end of the song and sing every word backwards).

This could be about your true I attempting to communicate, - singing (communicating) but it's difficult because in our world everything is backwards to how it could be if it wasn't STS dominated, thus it takes extreme effort to communicate anything clearly.

The emotion generated by this dream is about your recognition of your true I, separate from the personality.

Could be way off, but fwiw

 

[Tigersoap]

Hi Redfox,

I would have said the same thing as Manitoban.
It is what comes to my mind at first but it might be more subtle ?

The backward aspect is really intriguing, either it is all really going backward or it could mean that whatever the woman was singing is encoded, it has to be deciphered ?

I had dreams with music in it and I could relate them to either creativity or distraction.

Just a few thoughts.

 

[Pierre]

Hi RedFox,

I have similar interpretations.

Maybe the features of your dream had the following symbolic meaning :

The flat = your body ?
Going outside = seeing from the conscience ?
The woman = your (higher) emotional side ?
Singing backward = emotions are opposite to your usual way of seeing the world (intellectual) ? Or misinterpreting your emotions (considering empathy as a weakness for example) ?
Touching the heart = getting in contact with the higher emotional center, the higher emotions ?

This are just hypothesis though.

 

[RedFox]

Thanks for the interpretations everyone. It always amazes me that I can help interpret others dreams but blind to my own.
I had considered that the trouble with the communication may be the right side of my brain trying to communicate (which I believe is linked to the feminine).
I read your replies yesterday, and have had to take time out to process it all before replying.
First reaction was shock and the flood of emotions again. After that I tried to see objectively as I could, and have tried to balance the idea against not inflating ego/self importance. While considering that it may be my true I (or at least closer to my true I), all sorts of programs seemed to have got dragged up. I think even the sense of 'feeling overwhelmed' and 'on a roller coaster' may even be programs. I'm having trouble grasping the idea fully.....

In the end I started feeling very protective of 'her' (although probably another program), and I noticed that I could well have been trying to 'protect' (more likely hide) 'her' all this time. I don't take care of my appearance, am quite aloof most of the time and project alot onto women (including some envy, being male). All to put a barrier up it seems. Its been quite eye opening. Just need to keep practicing keeping my eyes open!
You've all given me alot to think about.

Singing backward = emotions are opposite to your usual way of seeing the world (intellectual) ? Or misinterpreting your emotions (considering empathy as a weakness for example) ?

The idea of misinterpreting my emotions seems to make me uncomfortable so there is probably something that to explore. I always considered myself highly empathic, a few years ago I could pickup on close friends moods from large distances but that got a bit much and recently I've noticed I'm lacking in quite a bit of empathy. What there is seems mechanical. :(
I suppose this doesn't rule out that maybe I do consider it a weakness?

I did realise I forgot to mention a few things from the dream, not only was it backwards, it was accelerated, like watching a video rewinding at speed. She also closed the door after the first few verse for a second to give herself time to work on the message before opening it again and singing the last verses. 3rd one after opening the door was the key.
She sounded like a mix between the singer Bjork and Lilu from the film The 5th Element when she's trying to learn to pronounce things.

I've got alot to contemplate it seems (and observe). If theres an obvious direction that would be useful (other than just observing) I'd appreciate the help.

One last thought
http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=578&lsel=P

You have no measure to measure yourself up. You live only between 'I like it' and 'I don't like it'. Which means that you have appreciation only for yourself. You do not allow for anything above you - theoretically or logically maybe, but not in reality. This is why you are demanding and keep on thinking that everything should be cheap, and you can afford to pay for anything you want. You don't recognize anything above yourself, or outside yourself or inside yourself. This is why, I repeat, you have no measure and live only to satisfy your whims.

Yes, your 'self appreciation' makes you blind! It is the biggest obstacle to a new life. One has to be able to pass this obstacle, this threshold, before one can go further. It is the test that separates the 'chaff' from the 'wheat' in people. No matter how intelligent, how endowed, how brilliant a man is, if he doesn't change his opinion about himself, he will be lost for inner development, for the work based on self-knowledge, for a real evolution. He will stay as he is all his life. The first demand, the first condition, the first test for he who wants to work on himself is to change his appreciation of himself. He cannot just imagine, or simply believe or think, but actually *see* things in himself that he did not see before, really see them. Never will his opinion about himself change as long as he will not see inside himself. And in order to see, he has _to learn_ to see: it is the first initiation of man into self-knowledge.

I have been trying to put my observing self 'above' the rest of me, should 'she' be placed above myself (as it where)? I have a feeling the answer is in reading Gurdjieff's books, and not just snippets out of context.

Thanks again

 

[Pierre]

She sounded like a mix between the singer Bjork and Lilu from the film The 5th Element when she's trying to learn to pronounce things.

Maybe the lady learning to talk symbolizes the heart center starting to awaken.

 

[salo99]

Hi Red, my thoughts about your dream are that it's about healing your heart. The woman is an inner feminine healing force that you have created and are trying to nurture. The backwards element represents going back in time to heal wounds that were buried (repressed), since you had no resources to deal with them when they occurred. The crying that was not sadness is emotional relief from suffering as the wounds begin to heal.