After reading Lux's post in the EE thread yesterday I read through the whole EE FAQ. This review helped to open my eyes to just what the aims are in the practice, and also what are the prerequisites.
As always, when I went to bed I did pipe breathing with the POTS. That night I had a dream. I wanted to go outside for some reason, maybe an urge to be in the sunlight. It was the middle of the day, but the windows were completely shaded but not like night, as though the sky were blocked. I had the impression something had covered the sky and it may be a really dark thundercloud and when I looked, there was a bit of the bright horizon showing under what I first thought was a cover of storm. I was fascinated and a bit disoriented by the specter of a storm covering almost the entire sky. I heard convincingly thunderous noises and looked up to try and see the could itself, but there was a large tree between it and me. Straining to see through the tree, I finally saw there was a hole in the cloud - and that it was not at all a cloud. My hearing peaked in shock and I realized I was hearing metallic noises, not thunder. As I looked in wonder it became clear it was actually a huge city-like UFO, with skyscraper-like constructions. Feeling shocked and trying to engage my mind about what to do next, I looked back down to see a grey alien a few feet or so from me, a bit too close for comfort. At that point the dream died in panic, and I forced myself awake. As I looked at the ceiling, I could still see the outlines of the dream images, as though burned onto my retinas (I've had this happen before when awakened in a jolt from vivid dreams). It was almost like a panic attack, with the element of "pattern recognition programs runamok", exacerbated by the room being dark and figures undiscernable. I've fought with this state many times before so I restrained myself and focused on pipe breathing and POTS, which calmed me down.
What strikes me is that I was in our house, but our house has no such tree. The tree was entirely new. So WHY was it there? What was the idea? I can understand aliens and UFOs, but the tree was just so asinine. During the dream I was clearly anticipating a thundercloud, by hearing what I expected to hear - thunder. But when I looked up, what I SAW was something else entirely and then I realized I was hearing metallic noises. I would describe it as a shift from seeing what you expect to see because it's easy and then when you see something that jolts your expectations, the perception transforms as you focus your attention. Up until I saw through the tree I was expecting not to perceive anything but thunder and clouds, but the illusion broke abruptly - but perhaps into another illusion, since it was a dream. After the dream was over and I recalled the images, the part of me not consumed with the dream impressions made the observation that, if I was in an "attack mood", the branches of the tree might have been taken by the pattern recognition software as metallic structures, and sparked into a hysterical escalation - but there is NO other part of me that sees this as the case. At the same time, I know from experience with lucid dreams that your expectations have a lot to do with what happens. And another part of me feels the UFO/alien transition was simply a another set of expectations being carried out. There were two conflicting expectations, that of a storm, and that whatever it is could not be a storm. But whether or not I perceived a storm or something else seemed to depend on which expectation I had. The truth was that I was dreaming - and that is the only expectation I didn't have!
So in short, this has me split between interpretations. A part of me is convinced with the interpretation of the dream at face value. Another part is convinced with a more observational, contextual interpretation. Still another is not convinced, but is intrigued by the possibility that the two former interpretations are "consumed" by the dream and taking it at face value, as coping mechanisms sparked by red herrings. If they are rationalizations, then they are very effective because they allow me to think that the dream is symbolic of the separation between expectations and reality. This conforms exactly to what I would expect FROM a dream and buffers cognitive dissonance.
What stands out to me is the striking disconnect between the points of view of all the parts of me which ordinarily defer to each other cooperatively to to put 2 and 2 together. But now these centers each have their own point of view and don't want to budge. It seems to me then that each POV is an important aspect of the meaning of this dream, and that the meaning of the dream is to point out something about these centers or points of view which ordinarily combine impressions but are now acting conspicuously independent and taking turns. I suspect that the meaning of this dream has to do with the "lower" interpretations only as a device to distract certain programs or beliefs undermining my thought, to allow the observing part of me an opening through buffers and automatic processes.
Aspects of the dream in no significant order:
1: Frustration with wanting to be out of the house in the sunlight, but consistently denied this. Even if there were no UFO, the tree would block the sunlight, which feels like it is another expression of the frustration.
2: Anxiety about destructive events out of my control, whether it be the force of nature, or cosmic forces.
3: Nightmare: Panic/anxiety attack: fear feeding into itself; pattern recognition runamok confabulating threats from anything which, instead of contributing toward a resolution of the threat, stimulates further fear. What is the real threat?
4: "New age" details: UFOs hidden as/in storms, aliens shaping your perception (I the impression while going over the dream that the aliens were portrayed as messing with my perception).
There are parts of me that:
1: Determine meaning from inside the dream perspective and take its impressions at face value.
2: Interpret the dream in a more detached way, as though the dream is a message to my waking self. The interpretation involves 4th way concepts.
3: Interpret the dream as not necessarily a message, but as a learning experience, where it may or may not be a message to my waking self, and if so, then it is at a higher level further than the dream dynamic I am used to. Also the dream may be cosmic disinfo/corrupted/ a form of attack.
Does this make sense? What am I missing?
As always, when I went to bed I did pipe breathing with the POTS. That night I had a dream. I wanted to go outside for some reason, maybe an urge to be in the sunlight. It was the middle of the day, but the windows were completely shaded but not like night, as though the sky were blocked. I had the impression something had covered the sky and it may be a really dark thundercloud and when I looked, there was a bit of the bright horizon showing under what I first thought was a cover of storm. I was fascinated and a bit disoriented by the specter of a storm covering almost the entire sky. I heard convincingly thunderous noises and looked up to try and see the could itself, but there was a large tree between it and me. Straining to see through the tree, I finally saw there was a hole in the cloud - and that it was not at all a cloud. My hearing peaked in shock and I realized I was hearing metallic noises, not thunder. As I looked in wonder it became clear it was actually a huge city-like UFO, with skyscraper-like constructions. Feeling shocked and trying to engage my mind about what to do next, I looked back down to see a grey alien a few feet or so from me, a bit too close for comfort. At that point the dream died in panic, and I forced myself awake. As I looked at the ceiling, I could still see the outlines of the dream images, as though burned onto my retinas (I've had this happen before when awakened in a jolt from vivid dreams). It was almost like a panic attack, with the element of "pattern recognition programs runamok", exacerbated by the room being dark and figures undiscernable. I've fought with this state many times before so I restrained myself and focused on pipe breathing and POTS, which calmed me down.
What strikes me is that I was in our house, but our house has no such tree. The tree was entirely new. So WHY was it there? What was the idea? I can understand aliens and UFOs, but the tree was just so asinine. During the dream I was clearly anticipating a thundercloud, by hearing what I expected to hear - thunder. But when I looked up, what I SAW was something else entirely and then I realized I was hearing metallic noises. I would describe it as a shift from seeing what you expect to see because it's easy and then when you see something that jolts your expectations, the perception transforms as you focus your attention. Up until I saw through the tree I was expecting not to perceive anything but thunder and clouds, but the illusion broke abruptly - but perhaps into another illusion, since it was a dream. After the dream was over and I recalled the images, the part of me not consumed with the dream impressions made the observation that, if I was in an "attack mood", the branches of the tree might have been taken by the pattern recognition software as metallic structures, and sparked into a hysterical escalation - but there is NO other part of me that sees this as the case. At the same time, I know from experience with lucid dreams that your expectations have a lot to do with what happens. And another part of me feels the UFO/alien transition was simply a another set of expectations being carried out. There were two conflicting expectations, that of a storm, and that whatever it is could not be a storm. But whether or not I perceived a storm or something else seemed to depend on which expectation I had. The truth was that I was dreaming - and that is the only expectation I didn't have!
So in short, this has me split between interpretations. A part of me is convinced with the interpretation of the dream at face value. Another part is convinced with a more observational, contextual interpretation. Still another is not convinced, but is intrigued by the possibility that the two former interpretations are "consumed" by the dream and taking it at face value, as coping mechanisms sparked by red herrings. If they are rationalizations, then they are very effective because they allow me to think that the dream is symbolic of the separation between expectations and reality. This conforms exactly to what I would expect FROM a dream and buffers cognitive dissonance.
What stands out to me is the striking disconnect between the points of view of all the parts of me which ordinarily defer to each other cooperatively to to put 2 and 2 together. But now these centers each have their own point of view and don't want to budge. It seems to me then that each POV is an important aspect of the meaning of this dream, and that the meaning of the dream is to point out something about these centers or points of view which ordinarily combine impressions but are now acting conspicuously independent and taking turns. I suspect that the meaning of this dream has to do with the "lower" interpretations only as a device to distract certain programs or beliefs undermining my thought, to allow the observing part of me an opening through buffers and automatic processes.
Aspects of the dream in no significant order:
1: Frustration with wanting to be out of the house in the sunlight, but consistently denied this. Even if there were no UFO, the tree would block the sunlight, which feels like it is another expression of the frustration.
2: Anxiety about destructive events out of my control, whether it be the force of nature, or cosmic forces.
3: Nightmare: Panic/anxiety attack: fear feeding into itself; pattern recognition runamok confabulating threats from anything which, instead of contributing toward a resolution of the threat, stimulates further fear. What is the real threat?
4: "New age" details: UFOs hidden as/in storms, aliens shaping your perception (I the impression while going over the dream that the aliens were portrayed as messing with my perception).
There are parts of me that:
1: Determine meaning from inside the dream perspective and take its impressions at face value.
2: Interpret the dream in a more detached way, as though the dream is a message to my waking self. The interpretation involves 4th way concepts.
3: Interpret the dream as not necessarily a message, but as a learning experience, where it may or may not be a message to my waking self, and if so, then it is at a higher level further than the dream dynamic I am used to. Also the dream may be cosmic disinfo/corrupted/ a form of attack.
Does this make sense? What am I missing?
