Breaking a weird program

[Al Today]

I had my left hip totally replaced last year. A few years before, as the hip degenerated and the pain increased, I started using a cane. For some reason, out of the blue, I began to notice how psychologically dependent I am on that cane. So now.. I am beginning not to use it. Very strange how my mind is acting. Even though I'm an above knee amputee (right leg), I know I do not need that cane. fyi, I lost the right leg on April Fools day, 1976 . So I've lots of experience without it. Yet, still... Without that cane I feel like something is missing. I am nervous when walking. Always watching my feet. I know I have the strength and balance needed, yet I feel quite uncomfortable walking. Looking to stay close to walls, or anything I can quickly grab, hug, hang or lean onto for balance.

I don't know if this topic is correct placement of this post, but I gotta say, this is conscious Work. 'Tis only a minor program, but it's just weird to me how this plays with my mind. This all will pass with time, I know. I am also curious if I can get rid of this psychological dependence before the snow flies. Yee-Haw...

 

[darksai]

I had my left hip totally replaced last year. A few years before, as the hip degenerated and the pain increased, I started using a cane. For some reason, out of the blue, I began to notice how psychologically dependent I am on that cane. So now.. I am beginning not to use it. Very strange how my mind is acting. Even though I'm an above knee amputee (right leg), I know I do not need that cane. fyi, I lost the right leg on April Fools day, 1976 . So I've lots of experience without it. Yet, still... Without that cane I feel like something is missing. I am nervous when walking. Always watching my feet. I know I have the strength and balance needed, yet I feel quite uncomfortable walking. Looking to stay close to walls, or anything I can quickly grab, hug, hang or lean onto for balance.

I don't know if this topic is correct placement of this post, but I gotta say, this is conscious Work. 'Tis only a minor program, but it's just weird to me how this plays with my mind. This all will pass with time, I know. I am also curious if I can get rid of this psychological dependence before the snow flies. Yee-Haw...

To me it sounds like a little I, the one that is identified with using the cane, or more generally some form of unnecessary (going by what you've said) aid. If this is the case, self-observation/remembering will allow you to pick out the little I's program(s) which you would then have to become acquainted with, understand and eventually preempt them when they startup. For example, one simple program that I would imagine in your situation might simply be generating a fear that without it you will and hurt yourself, while a more subtle one may be that having your cane evokes sympathy in others which gives some social/emotional "reward".

Be careful in your wording, it doesn't "pass with time", it is for you to "move past it".. which is what the Work is for :)

A question of my own to the forum: would it be correct to "file" these examples under as wrong workings of the mechanical and emotional centers respectively? And also, with what respect to which using the energy of the other centers? It's one of the areas of the Work I've had some of the most difficulty with. I'm pretty sure I understand the general idea of it, but struggle to able to say with the "feeling of knowing" that this or that program/little I comes from here or there, etc.