Buddhist joke

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Why did the Buddhist refuse novocaine when seeing the dentist?

Answer:
He wanted to transend dental medication.



That's the only Buddhist joke I know.
 
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1) A young businessman became disillusioned with his materialistic life, sold all his belongings, and retired to a nearby Zen monastery. After being shown to his cell, he was summoned to an interview with the abbot. "Tell me," said the wise old man, "Why is it that you have sought refuge with our community?" "I have become frustrated with the distractions of the world, Master," replied the new monk. "Will I find Truth here?" "Oh, certainly," nodded the Abbot. "But there's one catch: our primary rule of practice here is absolute silence. From this moment forward, you are forbidden from uttering a single word. Go and seek enlightenment in perfect peace. If you endure, I will recall you for an interview in ten years. At that time, you will be allowed to speak three words. Do you understand?" The young monk nodded and withdrew to begin his practice. A decade passed. The monk struggled through the rigors of monastic life, but remained true to his vow. As promised, the Abbot summoned him for a visit. "I see you're still with us," smiled the Abbot. "You have maintained your vow of silence with great perfection. You may now speak three words -- I hope you have chosen them carefully." The novice grimaced as he attempted the unfamiliar effort of speech. "Bed too hard," he croaked. "I see," said the Abbot. "Return to your cell and maintain your silence. If you endure, I will allow you another three words ten years from this day." Another decade passed. The novice amazed those around him with his monastic vigor. Through cold and heat, through times of plenty and want, no matter what the circumstance, the novice remained completely mute. At the appointed time, he appeared again before the Abbot. "You have done well, young novice," said the Abbot. "It has been twenty years, and from this day forth you will be known as a full member of the monastic brotherhood. You may also speak your three words." "Food no good," stammered the newly received monk. "Very well," answered the Abbot. "You are free to go back to your practice. Once again, I require you to maintain the rule of silence. You will be recalled for an interview in another ten years, at which time you'll be allowed another three words." The seasons came and went. In time, another ten years had passed. The young monk had become an older man, his long hair streaked with grey. In all things, he'd endured. He had achieved the highest ideals of monastic discipline. Finally, he was brought into the Abbot's presence. "Another decade -- gone," noted the Abbot, who was now well advanced in years. "I see that you have again maintained your vow of silence. The time has come. You may now speak your three words." "Forget that," retorted the monk. "I hate it here. I'm leaving." "I am not surprised, said the Abbot. "It's been thirty years, and all I've ever heard you do is complain!"

I hate to admit it, but this next one took me a second...
2) Buddhist monk like hot dog vendor: Make man one with everything.

Version 2.0 of the same joke goes like this:

A Buddhist monk was visiting New York City. He stopped by a hot dog vendor and said "Make me one with everything". The hot dog vendor made the monk his hot dog. The monk gave him a $20 bill which the hot dog vendor took. After an uncomfortable time period passed, the monk said "What about change?" to which the hot dog vendor replied "Change comes from within."

3) He who have last laugh Not get joke.

4) He who sit on upturned tack Rise above all.

5) How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Two. One to change it, and one NOT to change it.
2. Four. One to change, one to not change it, one to both change it and not change it, one to neither change it or not change it.
3. Two. One to change it, and one to hit the student with a fish.


6) What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Zen Buddhist?
A person who knocks on your door for absolutely no reason at all.
 
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