Wilecoyote, the breif answer to your post is both. First I more or less charged in trying to get the world to see, I lost, went into a sort of denial, couldn't ignore what had happened to me, stayed under the radar as long as I could, but that meant living in constant fear, so then I said I was going to live as what I am. Que sera sera. And it has worked well for me. I wouldn't claim to even approximate the power of Neo, even in my own microcosm of reality. Though I feel like him at times, I don't have that sort of power. I may have power over myself that is vaguely similar to Neo's, but my power over reality is slight. Yes, I've had my battles, but I'm no epic hero who has the power to restore balance to the matrix.
Now for the extended version. This is about a 30 page stint on MS Word, but I'll see if I can compress it down to one or two for the purposes of this forum. The first thing you should know, and I don't mean to offend anyone by saying this, but, if you got here by reading a chain of books that gradually increased your interest of the paranormal and you eventually ended up here without giving up anything significant, you truly have been on the gravy train. Now perhaps such a person is very spiritually advanced, and only has to tie up a few loose ends this incarnation, but I had to go through relative chaos to get to where I am today. And that is not just the typical teenage exaggeration of mundane problems.
The first 11 years of my life were pretty much normal. The only odd thing I remember is being taken to a pyramid shaped building that had strange markings around it. I'll copy the incident out of my history.
1993- Major Events: January- I am in full custody of my grandparents, May- "Government Building" incident.
Details: As I stated earlier, my father could not afford to support me. My grandparents had money saved up from selling the business and from buying bonds. They had bought a cheap house and were doing ok. He told me I would be living with them now, but he promised I could still see him on the weekends. He held true to this promise. My grandparents had a hard time taking on the burden, but they managed to scrape by. My grandma told me later that she expected, and almost knew that the day would come where I would live with her. It was the greatest joy of her life. It was at that time, the lowest point in our family finances, that the great economic boom reached Florida. Several months later, my father had gotten a new relatively high paying job. He told my grandma he could now afford to support me again, however knew better. He needed time to pay off his debt, and his new job required him to travel 4 hours daily. I would be left long hours by myself. My father believed he could make it work and took me back. After two weeks, he realized that grandma was right and this set the future precedent that I would live primarily at her house. On my trip back to there, something mysterious happened that I call the "Government Building Incident." I remember going towards a gray building in a small canyon. The building was five to seven stories tall, which is highly unusual for this region. Positioned to the front left was a huge satellite dish. Maybe 20 feet in diameter. The most curious feature of the entire place was the architecture. The sides were covered by strange symbols. Almost like hieroglyphics. The building also resembled a step pyramid in shape. As we neared it I fell asleep. The next thing I remember is leaving on the same road we entered upon. I asked my grandma if such a place ever existed several years later. She said yes, there was once a government building in Rockcrusher Canyon that looked very much like that. No one really knows what they did there, but Rockcrusher Canyon is in the complete OPPOSITE direction from my grandparents' house. Also my grandma says the place was torn down later, which is why I never saw it again. Stranger still, I have dreams about that building every so often. I am always trying to get to it, but I never can. I always pass out before I can get there. Also, why would they tear such an elaborate building down? This is another event that I put in my strange and may never be understood pile. If you ask me it has conspiracy written all over it. My dad never admits to taking me to that place.
As I said, I've pretty much written the "Government Building Incident" off as another one of those things. I was very young at the time. Then when I was 9 going into 10, I started to change...
1998- Major Events: January- Involvement with Meghan, Hayley, and the Wiccans begins, September- High school popularity enjoyed, Mother dies.
Details: How I got involved in this I do not know. However, Meghan and Hayley were two girls who claimed to have knowledge of witchcraft. I butted in on one of their conversations and they were scared to death of someone telling others that they were witches. I told them that their secret was safe with me and that I also found it very interesting. They found my interest interesting and decided to let me in on a few details. Hayley said that she had powers of the mind that allowed her to manipulate reality. Meghan could supposively read auras. An aura is an energy field emanated by your soul that consists of several different colors. These colors tell different things about your soul, including morality, thoughts, and your FRV. There exists a camera that can photograph the aura, though no one knows exactly how to interpret it. I had a burning desire to find out about my own soul, and the nature of those around me. So I befriended them. This was not very exciting, as I followed Meghan around having her read auras and listening to what they were supposed to mean. Hayley was distant, and all I really got out of her is that she was discovering some sort of power that she had that allowed her to control things. Hayley had knowledge of certain rituals that were supposed to increase your power. Hayley and Meghan were close to each other and were always telling secrets behind my back. I did not like this and this eventually led to conflict. Firstly, Hayley invited me to her birthday party. She claimed she was going to show us some of her power. Nothing ever came of it, and when I asked her when she was going to give us the demonstration, she laughed at me and said I was foolish to believe in such things. After this we grew more distant. Years later, I reflected on this, and I came to the conclusion that Meghan and Hayley had no power. They were just throwing exciting things, like the teacher having the black aura of death, and other people having the light blue aura, meaning they were "haunted", to keep me interested. However, there are two interesting things to note here. Some strange things did start happening. First were the apparitions. I would see things, look back and not see them. Then I would glance away or blink my eyes and see them again in the same spot I was looking at. This usually happened with animals, but sometimes with small objects. I found this a bit strange, but it did not happen frequently, and it could be explained as the animal moving, or lapse of memory of what had been done to the object. Though I could've sworn a glue bottle teleported across the classroom once...The second occurrence was the one ritual I did participate in. I was told to focus my intuitive energies to make a hole in the ground. This was after the birthday party by the way. Meghan and Hayley did some sort of incantation. The three of us were supposed to be able to open the gateway to the underworld. It was a test for me so I could prove my powers or something like that. Well, there was never a hole, but the ground was quivering a bit. In order to make sure I wasn't crazy, I asked some of my friends to come over and feel the ground. They said it was shaking too. This led to final doubts about Meghan and Hayley, and in retaliation for her treatment of me at the birthday party, I told my friend Austin. They did not like this, and this led to my slow expulsion from their group. By this time, we were into 4th grade, and I didn't really care. Austin thought there was something to this power, and that we should pursue farther understanding of it. I guess this was my first departure from normalcy, I was open to weird things, and if they could be proven, wanted to know more about them. Thinking back on it, I guess it was preparation, and a very small tip of the iceberg, of what was to come. At this time, Buck moved away. To lose someone I had such emotional attachment to was very depressing. I moped around, and was quite suggestible. Fortunately, and soon unfortunately, my friendship with Hayley and Meghan as well as my nature earned me high standing in social circles. I was intelligent, sweet, agreeable, and nearly friendless. My policy of sharing my test answers with others was a great hit to no one's surprise. There was a great rush of people who wanted to associate with me. I was cautious about making friends, but I did make a few. One was Chris, well Chris Gilbert, not Chris Foxworth, whom I've been referring to in earlier events. He was into computers and videogames, things that I liked a great deal, and was also similar in personality and reasonably intelligent. My life became more fun than work at school, and my social standing was looking bright going into Christmas vacation. I found out later that my mother died sometime during this time period.
I guess you could say that was the beginning of my transformation. The next year that I am copying into this post is when I had my "awakening."
1999- Major Events: January- CRITICAL JUNCTURE- I meet Chris, Faro, Elfangdor and the Andelites. September- CRITICAL JUNCTURE- I decide we should share our knowledge in attempt to better understand ourselves and find the others.
Details: This is the most important part of my life to date. Though the event itself wasn't very momentous, it began "the progression." You might find all of this a bit corny, but this is how the true Neil got started. This single event would lead to my research, knowledge of aliens, and eventually to the Truthseekers. And who knows what awaits me in my future. I told you about awakening, perhaps scared you a little bit, and this is when I had mine. My eyes were opened to a whole other reality that exists all around us. At first it was a bit childish, but it was the foundation for everything. Enough rambling, I'll continue the story. But there was a lonely boy named Chris Foxworth. Not long after school began, he wanted to be my friend. He started quietly at first, and got progressively more...desperate. Chris was unpopular, not very intelligent, and a loner. He was frequently bullied. Why would I want to involve myself with someone like that? Yes, I was quite arrogant then. This was a very popular decision with the class, and my refusal of his friendship was the perfect opportunity for the class to be even more hateful towards him. Chris was shattered, and he appealed to the teacher for help. The only condolence the teacher gave, was "He doesn't want to be your friend, so just leave him alone." Several members of the class heard this and laughed at him, and I was there as well. For some reason, sitting there watching the teacher tell him that and watching the reaction of others ignited a spark of compassion. He was very sad after this, feeling defeated. He stayed alone and got continually more depressed. I watched him more than I should've and I began to crack. He knew this and resumed his efforts to persuade me. Almost begging me. He put up a good argument for that age. "Why do you side with these people?" "What have I done to you?" "You don't seem to have a problem associating with these other people." "I have something I must tell you, you must know who you are." The argument was compelling but the last line was a trigger. How would Chris know who I was? It was crazy. I had a burning desire to know what he was talking about, but I resisted it at first. At that time, I did not believe in the soul. I thought everything was controlled by the mind. The fact that this was a trigger was contradicting my belief system, so my mind decided it was going to reject this. In essence, my mind and my soul were fighting each other. After several days I was just too curious, I had to find out what he meant. So, I found him at lunch and decided to talk to him. I asked him what he meant by I must know who I am. He said he was on a mission to discover himself. That just made me more curious. So I asked what it entailed. He said something about a secret lab, and that if I was ready to face my destiny he would take me there. I agreed that I wanted to know more with extreme skepticism. Chris is not much of an intellect, but he always has a knack for accessing great wisdom when it proves expedient. He said he would take me there that night. I did not quite understand this, but after falling asleep that night I had a dream. I found myself wandering around in a foggy city. There were brown gothic buildings everywhere. I was wandering around in the streets when I came across Chris. He motioned for me to follow him, so I did. He led me to a dense pocket of fog, which surrounded a hatch. He opened the hatch, and I saw a metal, tubular slide leading downward. He hopped in and I followed him. It was somewhat like riding a water slide. When we reached the bottom, I was in a silvery metallic room with a yellow laptop on the floor. He led me to a large metallic automatic door. When it opened, I woke up. The next day I decided to ask Chris if this was the lab. He said yes, but I was still skeptical so I decided to ask a few questions. Firstly, I asked why there was so much fog. He said it was there to hide the entrance. I asked how I felt when I went down the slide. He said excited, I was screaming a little bit. I asked what I saw when I reached the bottom of the slide. He told me a computer. And when I asked what color he told me yellow. I was shocked. We had a dual dream. He was actually there. It was instant proof, I was now much more curious. I wanted to know what he knew. He told me that he was not who he appeared. He said he possessed alien knowledge, and an alien consciousness. His real name was Elfangdor, and he had come here looking for his father. They came from the planet Selulucou, called Morpia in English. There were six that came including him. Explaining about the Elfangdors and their circumstances would take a very long time. Also, I'm not sure how much of it is true. I have filled several journals with accounts of my dreams, and I could write a book about my "otherworldly experiences." I will refer to them when I think they're necessary to explain my past, but I am trying to keep this as down to Earth as possible. Anyway, continuing on. Chris didn't know a whole lot more than I did, and we concluded that we needed to learn more about our past before we could proceed with the future. There was not a whole lot we could come up with by ourselves so we decided to try and find the other four. They should have memories locked inside of them and when we all got together we would have all of the pieces to the puzzle. Or so was the theory. It was at this time that I heard the voice in my head. It said my true name was Faro, like Elfangdor was Chris' true name. Faro and Elfangdor were members of a species they referred to as the Andelites, strikingly similar to the Andalites in a book series called Animorphs. The voice was an oddity at first, but it spoke little and when it did it seemed somehow natural. Chris said the voice was of an alien consciousness that had fused with the soul. He had one as well. This explanation has survived with little change up until today. There were several subsequent visits to the lab, and later I began exploring Morphia itself. It was an exhilarating experience, the vast rainforests, majestic mountains, and the silvery white towers of the city. Anyway, I'm getting a little off topic in my remembering. Also at this time I began having d
