Career...

[abstract]

Well let's see...

I am trying to figure out what it is i want to do for a career. Problem is, obviously, I have no idea.

I have no idea what i'm actually good at doing. Really, no clue, other than the fact that I hate dealing with customers.

The reason I am so clueless, or so i think, is the fact that i thought that i really did have a genuine passion for music

and guitar etc., i was certain that something would happen for me in that department...so certain that i neglected a lot

of other things to jam in as much practice as I could, but still no cigar. So WTF do you do when you build your life

around music and it doesn't work out for you? What else can you do but sit on your butt when you're not working

in some dreadful eating establishment?! I took a personality test online, and the results show i'm very introverted, like

82%, if that even tells you anything useful. I've noticed that i tend to do my best work when i can just go into my own

head, but i can't do that working retail because to me...THAT'S NOT WORK!! That is waiting around pointlessly for

someone to come in so you'll have something to do, which is annoying. I don't want my work load determined by

how many people walk through a door. I either want something physical to do or some kind of real mental challenge.

I feel inefficient and useless and bored at any job where i'm involved with customers in any way.

I don't wanna answer phones, i don't wanna take food orders, i don't want to say annoying slogans,

I WANT SOMETHING THAT IS WORTH MY TIME AND ENERGY FOR ONCE!! Sorry for E yelling but this is just how i feel about it.

I refuse to walk around pretending that i'm proud of what i do for a living 'cause i sure as heck am not.

Working in a restaraunt is just degrading. It's embarrasing, annoying, and i want out forever.

So i guess what i'm asking for is some assistance in determining a few things which maybe can lead

to something getting figured out. Yes, i realise my post contains some verbal turbulence, it's just

a frustrating thing to think about. :)

 

[combsbt]

Have you considered going to school? If you start off with a broad subject that you have some interest in then you might be able to find a more specific field that you weren't even aware of. You could even start off with an undeclared major and take classes in various subjects to see what arouses your interest? That is... if you don't mind ending up in debt like me. I'm getting a little concerned myself about what I will actually be able to find a job doing after getting a degree. There's always the option for more school (and more debt).

 

[Mrs. Peel]

Well let's see...

The reason I am so clueless, or so i think, is the fact that i thought that i really did have a genuine passion for music

and guitar etc., i was certain that something would happen for me in that department...so certain that i neglected a lot

of other things to jam in as much practice as I could, but still no cigar. So WTF do you do when you build your life

around music and it doesn't work out for you?

Well, my husband is a musician... he has a masters degree in composition and theory, that and a dollar still won't get you a cup of coffee in the job maket. He's now giving guitar and piano lessons privately. Depending on the scope of your musical training, can you give lessons?

One thing that does fry The Mister is that there are so many so-called "guitar teachers" out there who are simply not qualified. There isn't any regulation, anybody who teaches themselves a couple of cords can hang out a shingle and advertise themselves as a teacher.

How about just working in a music store?

 

[987baz]

Hey Abstract,

I know where you are coming from, I spent 10 years chasing the musical dream, before realising that I wasn't going to be able to make a living out of it. Luckily for me a few of my bands made some music videos and I became interested in film. I have just finished my degree in film and I am slowly making my way in the industry. A few ideas you may wnat to look into that I could suggest regarding music would be sound track work for film, possibly making scores or jingles for advertising, as there is a good dollar to made from these things. I did it while putting myself through university. Also there is musical therapy, I have never gone down this path but it's a growing area and may afford you to be creative and help others at the same time.

I am still working in retail part time while I get my film career on track and feel the same way you do about it, it's frustrating and I also feel it a waste of my time, but it does allow me to live and pay the bills for now.

anyway just my 2 cents, best of luck finding your way

baz

 

[shellycheval]

I refuse to walk around pretending that i'm proud of what i do for a living 'cause i sure as heck am not.

Working in a restaurant is just degrading. It's embarrassing, annoying, and i want out forever.

Try not to take it so personal. Work is not who you are—it is just what you are doing at that moment. Don’t look to find your self in your work—work to find out who you really are and bring that more authentic self to whatever is the job of the day, then no matter what you are doing, your satisfaction with your life will not be so affected because it comes from who you are, not what you are doing.

There really is something to the Buddhist/Zen/Etc. teaching about being present and bringing your best self to whatever task you are doing that pays off in many ways like learning an unexpected skill or making connections with people who may help you move on to bigger and better things.

I understand how you feel about working in restaurants. I worked in all types of food service for twenty years, from mopping floors at McDonalds to assistant manager in fine dining, and for much of that twenty years I was unhappy with it. I was very efficient at the work, but I held my self apart from it and was detached and mechanical on an emotional level. I resisted it, and as long as I resisted and resented the work, it was torture. While it was never my choice of career, I learned to have fun with it, and take advantage of the flexible schedule to make the time many 9 to 5 ers never have to do what was really important to me. In the end I went back to school at 37 and have been teaching full time and loving it despite the endless papers which I at times resist and resent. ;)

Experiment with different jobs while you are young—get out of restaurants and retail and try something really different—work on a farm, or other outside labor while the weather is nice, see if you can learn a trade by working for a carpenter, plumber, know math? computers? apply for office work. 987Baz's music technician idea might have apprenticeships. What ever you do, look at it as lessons and apply yourself to them, but keep doing your real work which is The Work on yourself.
Corny as it sounds, work is often like the old “Karate Kid” movie, while he thinks all he is doing is meaningless labor “wax on—wax-off” he is really learning physical skills and mental and emotional discipline which will pay off in something bigger and better later on. Free yourself from resistance and resentment—they have a habit of following us no matter where we go. Good Luck in your endeavors.
shellycheval

 

[herondancer]

Hi abstract,

For me it was dance, and I also put in over a decade before realizing it wasn't going to happen professionally in any way, shape, or form. It left a huge hole when I finally realized that, so I understand a little of what you are going through.

Shellycheval's advice is excellent. You can use this time to practice the understanding that you are not your job. That's a tough one to get when one is used to identifying oneself with the arts.

There really is something to the Buddhist/Zen/Etc. teaching about being present and bringing your best self to whatever task you are doing that pays off in many ways like learning an unexpected skill or making connections with people who may help you move on to bigger and better things.

This is so true. I recently spent five years doing office work, something I swore I'd never do. It was educational both from a resume pov, and from the zen idea SC mentions above. I learned to play a role and play it well. That time, and the connections made through that job, is now opening other doors.

Just as an offbeat suggestion, have you thought about learning more about cooking? The various suggestions and recipes you've created have gone over really well here. You seem to enjoy it and have a bit of flair for it. It might take you back to the food industry, but on your terms.

This sounds like one of those fallow times that precedes a new burst of creativity. Keeping up your diet, keep up the breathing, do your best at what life has presented you with now, and keeping your eyes and ears open would seem to be the most beneficial thing to be doing. The next step can come from the most unexpected quarter.

Hang in there!

Herondancer

 

[truth seeker]

shellycheval and herondancer make very good points that point to the heart of the matter.

While I completely understand being frustrated in a job that doesn't use your talents, it's really the frame of mind that you come to work with that is important as this is what will spill over into every area of your life. You will bring whatever attitude you have towards work regardless of the company you work for.

Working at a fast food restaurant is not degrading. There is no shame to be found in serving others. Even if your customers see it that way, what matters is the attitude you come to work with. I used to have the same frame of mind you have and it was only when I changed it that I became a better worker, happier in general and an asset to employers.

When we don't care about our jobs, it shows and people will treat us accordingly. There is a lesson that's being presented to you in all of this. Once you start to understand the lesson, other opportunities will present themselves.

I think a good amount of your energy will free up when you make the shift from being angry at being in your current position and find joy and satisfaction in a job well done.

 

[bjorb]

[quote author=abstract]I refuse to walk around pretending that i'm proud of what i do for a living 'cause i sure as heck am not.[/quote]

[quote author=abstract]Working in a restaraunt is just degrading. It's embarrasing, annoying, and i want out forever.[/quote]

You ask for advice to find what you really love to do. But that acquires a lot of work. If you let your decisions fall on self-importance. On those which separate on what makes something special and which don’t you won’t find it.

Because selecting those motivations to look down or up against yourself or others isn’t you. It’s ego. And without ego, you may find out that you don’t enjoy it, you rather do something else. But you won’t find embarrassment, you won’t find it degrading. It doesn’t apply a conflict with yourself what makes you special and which don’t.

Real love doesn’t demand. It’s just that. Nothing more nothing less.




At my viewpoint I see a lot of programs:

[quote author=abstract]That is waiting around pointlessly for someone to come in so you'll have something to do, which is annoying.[/quote]

Why do you really find it annoying?


[quote author=abstract]I feel inefficient and useless and bored at any job where i'm involved with customers in any way.[/quote]

Again what do you find so annoying about customers?


[quote author=abstract]I don't wanna answer phones, i don't wanna take food orders, i don't want to say annoying slogans, [/quote]

Why exactly, why really?

Try to go deeper than just the surface. How does it affect you? What is worth your time and what isn't? Ask yourself at each question. Does it make me special, why is that? or why isn't?

Writing those feeling down can help greatly. Thoughts go fast, if you just write a few of your feelings down. It's like making a map of your mind. A way of looking what is truly happening inside you.




[quote author=abstract]I WANT SOMETHING THAT IS WORTH MY TIME AND ENERGY FOR ONCE!![/quote]

You already got that. As I see it there are a lot of programs which are provoked all the time when you are at your work. And when they are so clearly activated what better than trying to figure them out.

It’s worth your time and energy. When you are at work it’s your own ‘war’ Running away of it because those are fueled with self-importance isn’t a way of winning your ‘war’

Realize that finding out what you really love, doesn’t apply ego.

And when ego plays a role in your love. It’s harder to find out what you really love to do.

Also if you as a person will gain more free will over time. You know it can affect the planet in most interesting ways.

 

[manitoban]

Hi Abstract,

Until you are able to find some more satisfying occupation it might help to look at your current job as a real opportunity to practice the Work. Believe me, I've done the retail/bar/restaurant grind myself so I can relate to your feelings.

But having to deal with difficult customers, boredom etc, is actually a great chance to observe your machine because of the many petty tyrants (ie the general public) you have to deal with. Thinking a job isn't good enough is a form of self importance. The struggle to practise external consideration under trying circumstances is what strengthens our will. When one is able to do what "it" doesn't want to do, and that often means dealing with boredom, etc, our true self grows.

 

[cholas]

Hey Abstract,
Great responses here and they really hit the nail on the head imo too.

I just wanted to add that it seems to me that most people who are involved in 'chasing' a career are heavily invested in anticipation, which of course can be problematic.

It's been mentioned in another thread, but maybe giving up on doing something you really love(d) now might be a bit premature. I would offer that it might take a bit more than raw talent and having the ability to work well with others, which sounds like what you are dealing with now, will certainly help.

Maybe consider your current job as 'practice' at working with/serving others.

 

[domi]

But having to deal with difficult customers, boredom etc, is actually a great chance to observe your machine because of the many petty tyrants (ie the general public) you have to deal with. Thinking a job isn't good enough is a form of self importance. The struggle to practise external consideration under trying circumstances is what strengthens our will. When one is able to do what "it" doesn't want to do, and that often means dealing with boredom, etc, our true self grows.

I agree. I chose a similar path in my current profession (real estate) knowing that by negotiating with banks - which can be very frustrating at times - I am strengthening my mind and at the same time helping people (the borrower in this case).
I made this conscious choice because time is limited and banks are a good and plentiful source of petty tyrants.

Abstract: maybe you can combine some of the suggestions that people have made and for example still keep your day job, and also teach music. Although we could use a full time tobacco grower here!

Dominique

 

[truth seeker]

Actually domi, your post reminded me of another possibility: volunteering. While this obviously doesn't give you extra money Abstract, what it does give is opportunity. It will give you the opportunity to help others which will take your focus off what you don't have and will place it on helping someone else. It may also help you to pick up some extra skills depending upon where you go with this.

You can also place an ad in a paper (this may be inexpensive or even free depending upon where you live) where you can work independently helping people learn music or pick up healthy cooking skills. At the end of the year, I you should be able to fill out a tax form declaring what you earned. I did this once and it was an interesting experience.

 

[Tigersoap]

I don't know but maybe you should express all these frustrations in songs, sing it, record it, try to turn it into something creative even if no one will listen to them, just a thought.

 

[knowledge_of_self]

Hey Abstract

Just a quick suggestion from me.

Have you thought about becoming a music (band) teacher for elementary or high schools? Or going to school for it? I'm sure there is a lot of opportunity if you have a degree to go with your musical knowledge & know-how. Also you can leave flyers and stuff in different schools for students who are interested in getting tutors.

There is also (depending on where you live) maybe small cafe's and places like that you can make deals with the management and play there on the weekends. ( I realize you probably wont make a LOT of money doing that) but at least it will cause people to hear your music and you can promote tutoring through that avenue.

As others have said- try not to identify with your current job. It's not WHO you are it's what you're doing at the moment. And there is NO shame in working in restaurants. I think these are just some of your programs that are causing you to see it as "you're above that" attitude which comes from self importance. Sometimes we've just got to deal with things that we are given, but in the mean time we can always look for better options.

FWIW, and good luck

 

[mocachapeau]

Hi Abstract,

I, too, spent many years chasing a career in music that never developed into anything. When my first child was born I tried to work a day job and play gigs on weekends, but that proved to be very difficult. It was hard on my health, and it kept me in bed most of the weekend. I eventually had to accept the fact that I couldn't do both and also be present in my home often enough. The day job I had payed only a little more than minimum wage, so I had to change that, too.

So I applied at the hospital as a janitor because the salary was double what I was getting before. But talk about a blow to my ego! I really felt the job was beneath me. Somehow my dreams had never included pushing a broom and cleaning toilets used by people who were on a lot of medication. Ooooh the stories I could tell... but won't. And boredom? I was going crazy. There was not a single part of that daily routine that actually demanded the use of my brain. I quickly developed a great amount of respect for the people that had been doing that same job for 25 to 35 years. I don't know how they did it without losing their minds, but 'hats off', I say.

What got me through it was accepting that this was what I had to do, right now, to be responsible toward my family. My lack of effort in acquiring qualifications for doing something "better" was my own fault, and I had to accept that, too. And as soon as I let my ego take those blows, I was more comfortable with the situation. I didn't feel the job was beneath me, in fact I was starting to wonder if I was up for the challenge - it was very hard, mentally.

A couple of months later, out of the blue, a boss from another department (who I didn't even know) approached me about being the replacement for the stockist that kept an inventory and supplied the entire hospital with their sterile medical products, which I accepted. I was then working less hours as a janitor. Within a year, I ended up with that job. It's still just a job, and it doesn't define who I am, but at least I get to use my brain a little.

To this day, I believe there was a definite link between my acceptance of the situation, and how the universe/coincidence seemed to pull me out of there so quickly. The sentence you wrote that made me think that this might apply to your situation was this one:

i was certain that something would happen for me in that department...so certain that i neglected a lot

of other things

Yeah, me too. So I felt like I had to "suck it up".

I do keep music in my life by writing and recording songs on my computer. It's a great creative outlet. And the suggestions given by others here are very good. I hope this can help.

I must thank you for bringing this up. Writing this post has reminded me of the principle involved that I learned through that experience, and I think it happens to hold the key to something I'm dealing with right now.