Comedy Latin Phrases

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paulnotbilly

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Non per ardua ad astra. Per ardua ad esprit der corps, dons highlandium dos aqua rockardium. - Don’t reach for the sky. Reach for the team spirit, mine’s a whisky on the rocks.
Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est - Yes, that is a very large amount of corn
Res melius evinissent cum coca - Things go better with Coke
Revelare pecunia! - Show me the money!
Revera linguam latinam vix cognovi - I don't really know all that much Latin
Heu! Tintinnuntius meus sonat! - Darn! There goes my beeper!
Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? - Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?
Ducator meus nihil agit sine lagunculae leynidae accedunt - My calculator does not work without batteries
Ubi est mea anaticula cumminosa? - Where's my rubber ducky?
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! - May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam populus romanus unam cervicem haberet! - If only the Roman people had one neck!
Omnes lagani pistrinae gelate male sapiunt - All frozen pizzas taste lousy
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! - Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis - You do not know the power of the dark side (Star Wars)
Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit - To boldly go where no Man has gone before
Age. Fac ut gaudeam - Go ahead. Make my day!
Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? - (At a barbeque) Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?
Apudne te vel me? - Your place or mine?
Ascendo tuum - Up yours
Audio, video, disco - I hear, I see, I learn
Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! - Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Your fly is open
Brevior saltare cum deformibus mulieribus est vita - Life is too short to dance with ugly women
Brevior saltare cum deformibus viris est vita - Life is too short to dance with ugly men
Cave canem, te necet lingendo - Beware of the dog, he may lick you to death
Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis - I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream
Cogito ergo doleo - I think therefore I am depressed
Cogito sumere potum alterum - I think I'll have another drink
Corripe Cervisiam - Seize the beer!
Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum - Give me a hamburger, french fries, and a thick shake
Da mihi sis cerevisiam dilutam - I'll have a light beer
Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo - I'll have a pizza with everything on it
Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima? - Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?
Feles mala! cur cista non uteris? stramentum novum in ea posui - Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it
Fortunatus sum! Pila mea de gramine horrido modo in pratum lene recta volvit! - Isn't that lucky! My ball just rolled out of the rough and onto the fairway!
In dentibus anticis frustrum magnum spiniciae habes - You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth
Machina improba! Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos! - You infernal machine! Give me a beverage or give me my money back!
Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries (from Monty Python - Quest for the Holy Grail)
Mei capilli sunt flagrantes - My hair is on fire
Mellita, domi adsum - Honey, I'm home
Monstra mihi pecuniam! - Show me the money!
Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
Nihil est--In vita priore ego imperator romanus fui - That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor
Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! - Not Worth A Rats Ass!
Non timetis messor - Don't Fear the Reaper
Non vereor ne illam me amare hic potuerit resciscere; quippe haud etiam quicquam inepte feci - I don't think anyone knows I love the girl; I haven't done anything really silly yet
Nonne de novo eboraco venis? - You're from New York, aren't you?
Orbes volantes exstare - Flying saucers are real
Pistrix! Pistrix! - Shark! Shark! (from: Jaws)
Pone ubi sol non lucet! - Put it where the sun don't shine!
Quid est illa in auqua? - What's that in the water?
Quod foetet? - What's that bad smell?
Quod minimum specimen in te ingenii? - What microscopic evidence of wit can be found in you?
Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? - How do you get your hair to do that?
Re vera, cara mea, mea nil refert - Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
Re vera, potas bene - Say, you sure are drinking a lot
Sane ego te vocavi. forsitan capedictum tuum desit - I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken
Semper ubi sub ubi ubique - Always wear underwear everywhere
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes - Essentially it says, 'if you can read this, you're overeducated.'
Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es - If you can't read this, you're an ass
Sit vis vobiscum - May the Force be with you. (Star Wars)
Sterca Sancta! - Holy shit!
Stercus accidit - Shit happens
Subucula tua apparet - Your slip is showing
Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear
Tua mater tam antiquior ut linguam latine loquatur - Your mother is so old she speaks Latin
Tum podem extulit horridulum - You are talking shit
Ubi est mea anaticula cumminosa? - Where’s my rubber ducky?
Vacca foeda - Stupid cow
Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt - I have jerks like you for breakfast
Vescere bracis meis - Eat my shorts
Vir prudens non contra ventum mingit - A wise man does not urinate against the wind
Res severa est verum gaudium - True joy is a serious thing
Puteus illic vestri forsit - Well, there's your problem!
Veni, Vidi, volo in domum redire - I came, I saw, I want to go home
 
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