Dorothy Minder
Padawan Learner
[Note to Mods: I wasn't sure where to post this. Feel free to move it wherever appropriate.]
I'll start by recounting what happened. Then I'll give a bit more background. Then I'll offer my provisional conclusions, and finally, I'll ask a few questions of the group. I am very interested to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience, or has any advice. Perhaps this post can also serve as a example case for others.
What happened
A few days ago, I had an experience I am still coming to grips with. I was walking to a meeting in the city, when a man in a wheelchair stopped me and asked for some money. I looked at him, taking measure of the situation and my feelings, and decided to give him five bucks. Big mistake, I think.
I put five dollars in his cup, but he didn’t look at it. He started talking about himself and his situation and then asked me my name and offered his hand. When I reached to shake his hand, “Ben” (the name he gave) grabbed my fingers and squeezed them painfully hard, all while talking in a very relaxed, personal voice. Still holding my fingers, he started telling me stories about a particular close relationship of his. He soon let go of my hand but kept talking, describing how this person never loved him, betrayed him at any opportunity, and ultimately made an attempt on his life. He punctuated these stories with violent gestures and twice even pushed me and slapped me on the arm for emphasis.
At one point, I said I needed to leave, and he launched into the lessons that he learned and how his life has changed. I listened for another 5 minutes or so, and then said I really needed to leave. Saying goodbye, I reached out to shake his hand again, this time ready for a strong grip. Instead, this time he offered me a very soft hand and yelped when we shook – even though I squeezed for only the briefest of moments before realizing his grip was much softer this time. I apologized, told him to take care, and walked away.
Here is how I remember my mind working through this whole interaction. When he asked for money, I was prepared to give freely. I registered that he was in a wheelchair, appeared to be homeless, and was black. All these things together evoked my compassion. Unconsciously, or semi-consciously, I think I also felt indebted. When he squeezed my fingers, I became confused. Though uncomfortable, the pain was bearable, and he was talking in a calm, friendly voice with no sign of malice. I wondered if he knew he was hurting me, and I wondered what I was supposed to do – pull my hand away, say something?
As his stories quickly developed, I began to see more and more connections to my own experience with the relationship in question, like he was telling these stories for my benefit, to teach me something or to draw out certain similarities. At the more emotional points, he would make forceful gestures or push or slap my arm. These moments always felt shocking but not uncomfortable.
Throughout the interaction, I felt aware of myself, even returning to my breathing a few times, but looking back I see that I was mostly entranced, and that when I would start to pull myself out of it, “Ben” would adjust his delivery.
More Background
Two important points to note are 1) this is not the first time I’ve met a remarkable “homeless” person, and 2) I had been seeking to clarify certain aspects of just the close relationship in question.
Over the past year, I’ve had several profound interactions with apparently homeless people. I call them dervishes, thinking of the Sufi tradition. These interactions have usually involved Green Language and/or interpreting symbolic aspects of physical reality. I figure at least a couple of these interactions have been with 4D STO, though some surely have simply been wise men and women farther along the path. In each case, reflecting upon these conversations, I learned a great deal about myself and how to become a better person. I am still striving to put these lessons into practice.
The particular relationship that “Ben” addressed has been a difficult one for me since I began seriously pursuing conscious spiritual development. Lately, I have sought understanding and guidance through meditation, prayer, and good old fashioned analytical thinking.
Considering both of these points, I think I carried the assumption of possible guidance from a dervish about just this issue into my interaction with “Ben.”
Conclusions
I spent the next two days after my interaction with “Ben” very confused. From previous research, I knew enough about covert hypnosis and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) to understand that he had used a number of techniques on me, but I wasn’t sure about his motivation. I wondered if he had been trying to help me, to push my lessons along and warn me about a dangerous relationship.
I spoke with a trusted friend, someone also undertaking serious self-work, and he gave me much needed perspective. Essentially, he said that the relationship in question hasn’t held me back so far, that I continue to progress, and that so long as I act on my principles and use my discernment, problems will find solutions.
More notably, though, he said this: “Sometimes we project our own inner obstacles onto others.” That really found the mark. I’ve noticed this in others, and in myself in other contexts, but this time I’d missed it. I need to step my game up, and it won’t do to blame anyone else for what I haven’t done.
Trying to process my interaction with “Ben”, I also dove back into research on hypnosis and NLP. As I began to put names to the many techniques he’d used on me, I saw more and more clearly how manipulative that whole interaction had been – especially compared to more positive interactions with dervishes. A couple of those positive interactions were really more like tests that taught me about conscious morality in action. Others were more like multi-layered puzzles (delivered in Green Language) that rewarded the effort I spent decoding them with joy, insight, and courage.
The experience with “Ben”, though, was different. He provoked a hypnotic trance and started implanting suggestions that would create doubt and fear. He emphasized an external “threat” and suggested that my only recourse was to run away. He told me I “deserved better”. Together, these negative aspects have convinced me that it was an attack.
The attack was very sophisticated, tailored specifically to my blindspots and weaknesses, and successful to the extent that I was open to it. It has also proven an amazing lesson because it exposed exactly those blindspots and weaknesses and brought them to consciousness. This episode helped me see very clearly the flip side of “knowledge protects”. That is: The universe can provoke and punish to the extent that we misunderstand or misidentify. Michael Topper notably discusses this in “What is Christ Consciousness?” Of course, Laura has made the same point in numerous places. Attacks are powerful lessons, and can provide just the "shocks" we need.
A Zen story came to mind:
Life, of course, being the ultimate teacher.
Questions
Any similar experiences with a powerful, manipulative hypnotist? This guy struck me as a real pro. Derren Brown comes to mind…
Any advice on “alarm clocks” to combat hypnotic trances? One of my alarms clocks is “any pain or discomfort” but “Ben” actually used pain and confusion to induce the trance.
What would people here consider permissible uses of NLP? When, if ever, is covert hypnosis justified? And more broadly, what is the role of persuasion in the work?
Other thoughts?
I'll start by recounting what happened. Then I'll give a bit more background. Then I'll offer my provisional conclusions, and finally, I'll ask a few questions of the group. I am very interested to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience, or has any advice. Perhaps this post can also serve as a example case for others.
What happened
A few days ago, I had an experience I am still coming to grips with. I was walking to a meeting in the city, when a man in a wheelchair stopped me and asked for some money. I looked at him, taking measure of the situation and my feelings, and decided to give him five bucks. Big mistake, I think.
I put five dollars in his cup, but he didn’t look at it. He started talking about himself and his situation and then asked me my name and offered his hand. When I reached to shake his hand, “Ben” (the name he gave) grabbed my fingers and squeezed them painfully hard, all while talking in a very relaxed, personal voice. Still holding my fingers, he started telling me stories about a particular close relationship of his. He soon let go of my hand but kept talking, describing how this person never loved him, betrayed him at any opportunity, and ultimately made an attempt on his life. He punctuated these stories with violent gestures and twice even pushed me and slapped me on the arm for emphasis.
At one point, I said I needed to leave, and he launched into the lessons that he learned and how his life has changed. I listened for another 5 minutes or so, and then said I really needed to leave. Saying goodbye, I reached out to shake his hand again, this time ready for a strong grip. Instead, this time he offered me a very soft hand and yelped when we shook – even though I squeezed for only the briefest of moments before realizing his grip was much softer this time. I apologized, told him to take care, and walked away.
Here is how I remember my mind working through this whole interaction. When he asked for money, I was prepared to give freely. I registered that he was in a wheelchair, appeared to be homeless, and was black. All these things together evoked my compassion. Unconsciously, or semi-consciously, I think I also felt indebted. When he squeezed my fingers, I became confused. Though uncomfortable, the pain was bearable, and he was talking in a calm, friendly voice with no sign of malice. I wondered if he knew he was hurting me, and I wondered what I was supposed to do – pull my hand away, say something?
As his stories quickly developed, I began to see more and more connections to my own experience with the relationship in question, like he was telling these stories for my benefit, to teach me something or to draw out certain similarities. At the more emotional points, he would make forceful gestures or push or slap my arm. These moments always felt shocking but not uncomfortable.
Throughout the interaction, I felt aware of myself, even returning to my breathing a few times, but looking back I see that I was mostly entranced, and that when I would start to pull myself out of it, “Ben” would adjust his delivery.
More Background
Two important points to note are 1) this is not the first time I’ve met a remarkable “homeless” person, and 2) I had been seeking to clarify certain aspects of just the close relationship in question.
Over the past year, I’ve had several profound interactions with apparently homeless people. I call them dervishes, thinking of the Sufi tradition. These interactions have usually involved Green Language and/or interpreting symbolic aspects of physical reality. I figure at least a couple of these interactions have been with 4D STO, though some surely have simply been wise men and women farther along the path. In each case, reflecting upon these conversations, I learned a great deal about myself and how to become a better person. I am still striving to put these lessons into practice.
The particular relationship that “Ben” addressed has been a difficult one for me since I began seriously pursuing conscious spiritual development. Lately, I have sought understanding and guidance through meditation, prayer, and good old fashioned analytical thinking.
Considering both of these points, I think I carried the assumption of possible guidance from a dervish about just this issue into my interaction with “Ben.”
Conclusions
I spent the next two days after my interaction with “Ben” very confused. From previous research, I knew enough about covert hypnosis and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) to understand that he had used a number of techniques on me, but I wasn’t sure about his motivation. I wondered if he had been trying to help me, to push my lessons along and warn me about a dangerous relationship.
I spoke with a trusted friend, someone also undertaking serious self-work, and he gave me much needed perspective. Essentially, he said that the relationship in question hasn’t held me back so far, that I continue to progress, and that so long as I act on my principles and use my discernment, problems will find solutions.
More notably, though, he said this: “Sometimes we project our own inner obstacles onto others.” That really found the mark. I’ve noticed this in others, and in myself in other contexts, but this time I’d missed it. I need to step my game up, and it won’t do to blame anyone else for what I haven’t done.
Trying to process my interaction with “Ben”, I also dove back into research on hypnosis and NLP. As I began to put names to the many techniques he’d used on me, I saw more and more clearly how manipulative that whole interaction had been – especially compared to more positive interactions with dervishes. A couple of those positive interactions were really more like tests that taught me about conscious morality in action. Others were more like multi-layered puzzles (delivered in Green Language) that rewarded the effort I spent decoding them with joy, insight, and courage.
The experience with “Ben”, though, was different. He provoked a hypnotic trance and started implanting suggestions that would create doubt and fear. He emphasized an external “threat” and suggested that my only recourse was to run away. He told me I “deserved better”. Together, these negative aspects have convinced me that it was an attack.
The attack was very sophisticated, tailored specifically to my blindspots and weaknesses, and successful to the extent that I was open to it. It has also proven an amazing lesson because it exposed exactly those blindspots and weaknesses and brought them to consciousness. This episode helped me see very clearly the flip side of “knowledge protects”. That is: The universe can provoke and punish to the extent that we misunderstand or misidentify. Michael Topper notably discusses this in “What is Christ Consciousness?” Of course, Laura has made the same point in numerous places. Attacks are powerful lessons, and can provide just the "shocks" we need.
A Zen story came to mind:
Life, of course, being the ultimate teacher.
Questions
Any similar experiences with a powerful, manipulative hypnotist? This guy struck me as a real pro. Derren Brown comes to mind…
Any advice on “alarm clocks” to combat hypnotic trances? One of my alarms clocks is “any pain or discomfort” but “Ben” actually used pain and confusion to induce the trance.
What would people here consider permissible uses of NLP? When, if ever, is covert hypnosis justified? And more broadly, what is the role of persuasion in the work?
Other thoughts?
