Disturbing dreams; a kin to what I imagine "possession" might feel like

[lewis_86]

Took me a while of thinking about it, but figured I would go ahead and share a recent dream of mine.

I dream a lot. I often quite enjoy it, and feel almost in control and sometimes they feature really great, long, in-depth conversations about all manner of topics, with people/beings I feel I know, but have never met. I'm guessing the mind has a way of projecting another character outwards in drams, in order to create dialogue. This I enjoy.

Anyway, the one I'm going to share doesn't fall into this category. It's different kind of dream; almost like sleep paralysis in the sense that I am aware I am dreaming and it feels very "real" but I am not ultimately in control (or so it seems). And I can't seem to "snap out of it" and wake myself up.

This dream was a few nights ago, and started as soon I was drifting off. All I can describe it as being like, is as though I flew "out of my body", but still inside my actual bedroom. I floated over to my drum kit and hovered above it, but I felt accompanied by a "presence" - a very negative one at that. So I'm above the drum kit and then I feel an immense pressure on my whole head, pressing down, which feels external. Then a voice, which seems to be coming from inside my skull, shouts "WHO ARE YOU?!" and demanded a justification of who I am and the thoughts I have. I attemped to answer with my thoughts, but felt ridiculed. It felt like a pretty short dream, and I woke up shortly after, but thankfully managed to get a decent night’s sleep after.

Just so you have a bit of background, I've had similar dreams on and off for I'd say the last year and a half. They follow a similar pattern; out of body type experience, negative feeling, accompanied by a disturbing, aggressive voice. I have suffered with depression in the past which lasted the best part of a year. Thanks to the help of friends and loved ones, I'm not in that place anymore. But I feel like this is perhaps connected though; possibly attempting to address things I have thought about or repressed in the past. But just so you know, I'm in a much better place these days (happy in my job, busy with music, sleeping okay, etc.) I don’t feel any great anxiety over identity at the moment, it’s not really something I worry about. I'd like to think of myself as someone who only ridicules people who I feel deserve it, ie. bigots, etc. And I don't feel like I have to deal with any ridicule in my life, thankfully (other than good natured stuff with friends). Therefore I can’t seem to derive much meaning from the dream, which may well indicate that it is meaningless.

So yeah. I realise this is all very subjective, but any input/similar experiences would be appreciated :) Cheers.

 

[Mal7]

I'd like to think of myself as someone who only ridicules people who I feel deserve it, ie. bigots, etc.

If bigots are ignorant people, is it worth ridiculing ignorance?
If bigots are like automatons running a programme, is it worth ridiculing "robots"?

 

[lewis_86]

Sometimes, yeah. Mainly to amuse myself.

 

[Mal7]

Ha ha that is a pretty funny answer. I can see you have a good sense of humour.

Then a voice, which seems to be coming from inside my skull, shouts "WHO ARE YOU?!" and demanded a justification of who I am and the thoughts I have. I attemped to answer with my thoughts, but felt ridiculed.

Maybe the negative presence in your dream just wanted to amuse itself too!

 

[Ennio]

Hmmm. Question: are you doing EE regularly lewis_86?

Another thing, have you been following any of the diet?

 

[lewis_86]

Figured the breathing would get mentioned - I've not fully read all of that yet, but do intend on. As for diet, I'm sure there's plenty of room for improvement within mine. Cheers.

 

[Ennio]

Figured the breathing would get mentioned - I've not fully read all of that yet, but do intend on.

I asked about EE because, in case you didn't know, it can have a hand in helping 'releasing' certain things. I have had my own share of experiencing malevolent things at night and I do think that EE has helped in this regard. Others have mentioned similar experiences too. If you haven't yet, you may want to also check out the videos on EE here:
http://eiriu-eolas.org/online-version/

As for diet, I'm sure there's plenty of room for improvement within mine. Cheers.

It's another biggie! The ideal is the ketogenic diet which is being discussed at length here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,28799.0.html
The thing of it is is that it takes some knowledge of what's at work and a bit of time to transition to. And once it's clear of what the potential benefits are, you'll probably want to be doing it. osit.

 

[Sol Logos]

There's a book by a guy called Carl Wickland called "30 years amongst the dead" that I got reminded of by reading your account. The book was basically a documentation of Wickland and his wife who was a channeller releasing spirits attached to people. They did this through applying small electric currents on those people, then once the spirit was released, the wife would channel the spirit and Wickland would talk to the spirit in a way to convince them not to keep attaching on the said person. Anyway it was a fascinating read for me but the point I making was a few of these spirits wouldn't actually know they where attached, I mean they seemed to think it was their body they had moved into and got confused by the presence of the person being there, as if they were the attached spirit and they had no right to be with this body. So if any of that is real, then that might explain the question "who are you" which sounded kind of like "why are you here, go away!".

 

[lewis_86]

Thanks for the input alkhemist & ennio. If there is a "spirit attachment" so to speak, I felt as though the question was asked by it, rather than me asking them who it was - if that makes sense. As in, even though the voice was internal, it felt like it was directed at my "core being" rather than me simply asking the negative entity who they were.

I've had really similar ones in the past. Several times, the voice has shouted at me to "Stop meddling". During these dreams, I feel aware that something other than an average dream is happening, and without wanting to sound too dramatic, it's quite unnerving. I also have dreams where I'm trapped in hospital because of depression, despite not feeling that I'm at risk of that in my waking life.

I think perhaps I'm massivley repressed, haha, oh dear. :)

 

[Sol Logos]

I felt as though the question was asked by it, rather than me asking them who it was - if that makes sense. As in, even though the voice was internal, it felt like it was directed at my "core being" rather than me simply asking the negative entity who they were.

I've had really similar ones in the past. Several times, the voice has shouted at me to "Stop meddling".

Yeah, sorry what I wrote might not be clear but I meant that in the accounts of that book, spirits wouldn't know they were attached to someone or wouldn't see themselves as the intruders but the exact opposite. So applying that to your situation, this being that demands "who are you?" "stop meddling" etc. thinks he has the right to be there and you don't.

Whether this is the case or not, I don't know, it just reminded me of what I read in the book I mentioned. The thing is doing all those things such as EE and diet tweaks will just assist you to be more grounded in your own body, which is in the end is what's going to benefit you, as primarily you want to become more and more connected with yourself, which will aid you to feel and know yourself better.

Its understandable those events you describe make you feel afraid, but it seems to be a fear of on the one hand, you losing control and on the other, something else other than you taking control. But the more grounded you feel in yourself and the more integrated your own thoughts / feelings / memories etc become in you, that fear of not having control would naturally subside. All in all you are already in control of yourself and your choices, so from that point of view whatever fears we have that tell us the opposite, aren't based on what's real. It understandable though we have them though, we start our lives, most of us feeling imposed on by others etc.

Edit: clarity