Down time

[Bluestar]

Hello all,

The past two weeks have been a down time period for me and I have only been able to skimthrough some forum topics. Maybe replying to one or two.

My stepdaughter is ill again and it has been very difficult and time consuming for our family. Having had two emergency room visits and finally to be admitted for over a week now, it is quite draining. The hospital she is in is about 45 minutes away from our home. Plus I am working my part time job. Have been working on at least saying the Prayer of the Soul and when I can pipe breathing has helped. I miss the forum.

We have no diagnosis as of yet and for me to able to get across any kind of knowledge to her about detox and all the goes with it is not viable at present. She does not want to hear it and so keeping up with her choices I make no suggestions. She is 25 years old and she must be responsible for herself. We can only support her and also voice our concern for the choices she makes. Not wanting to be an enabler here, but what is the sense in arguing over this when she is so unstable physically, emotionally and psychologically. I have recommended she speak to a psychologist, this has fallen on deaf ears. Amazing how a person can come up with so many excuses.

While this has been going on my mom has health issues as well. So my lessons have been, I think, how involved I should be and how much thought energy can I give before being drained. Keep reminding myself that I have to take care of myself and not be overwhelmed with others problems. I offer my assistance and it is up to them to take it. If not then I have to release it. The problem then arrives at how often do I come to the "rescue"
(when asked) of a person that is just repeating the same thing over and over again?

Some of her test results are due back today and maybe we will have an answer. If not then could this be psychosomatics? Can a persons mind create violent vomitting and pain in the whole rights side of her abdomen? For me I do not put a lot of faith in western medicine. The hospital system is faulty. Doctors and nurses vary on their empathy levels. You could have a caring nurse one shift and an absolute negligent nurse the next shift. For over 6 days there has always been someone with her to be her advocate, but her emotions have taken the best of her and she is virtually unbarable to be near. Rude, self destructive thoughts. I am going to suggest maybe probating her a bit to find out if it is psychological. Gently of course, but I think it needs to be made aware of to her doctor.

So again I trust that this will come to pass in the most beneficial way for all and thank you all for listening. Any feed back is welcome.

 

[truth seeker]

Hi Bluestar,

I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know that we're here for you. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Try and hang in there.

 

[aragorn]

Sorry to hear about the health problems of your loved ones. The only "advice" that I can share is: just being with and near people who are sick is a big help. Being there can make a huge difference in their recovery.

 

[Gertrudes]

Hi Bluestar,
I'm sorry to hear that you are going though this.

So my lessons have been, I think, how involved I should be and how much thought energy can I give before being drained. Keep reminding myself that I have to take care of myself and not be overwhelmed with others problems. I offer my assistance and it is up to them to take it. If not then I have to release it. The problem then arrives at how often do I come to the "rescue"
(when asked) of a person that is just repeating the same thing over and over again?

I think you have put it very well. You can only do so much when asked, and then it really is about letting go, allowing them to be and make the choices they find to be the best.
If a person is repeating the same thing over and over again, then perhaps that person is not really asking, but using you as a tool to solve something. I'm not sure I am understanding you correctly, it was the idea I got from reading the above excerpt. I trust you'll correct me if needed.
As to how often to come to rescue, if you have the feeling that it's happened over and over again as you put it, it is probably a sign that you should step out. It really is a powerful lesson I think, learning how much to give and how.

If your step daughter has entered in negative self destructive thought patterns, it will be hard for you to get through to her. I suppose the only thing you can do is to acknowledge her feelings and support her emotionally, whilst at the same time stepping your foot, gently but firmly if she crosses certain barriers. I also think you are right, and against what could seem appropriate at the moment, it might not be the best time to address alternative solutions, unless she opens up the door for it. In defense mode, it is unlikely she hears anything.

From what you describe though, it seems she could really benefit from a good detox.... You have also mentioned that she is ill again. Is this then a recurrent situation?

If not then could this be psychosomatics? Can a persons mind create violent vomitting and pain in the whole rights side of her abdomen?

I am in no way experienced in these subjects, I can only suppose she/he can. However, a physical illness or unbalance can very well cause the same on a mental level, so it is worth to consider it as happening also the other way around..

Wish you best in dealing with this.

 

[Bluestar]

Thanks for the well wishes and support.

From what you describe though, it seems she could really benefit from a good detox.... You have also mentioned that she is ill again. Is this then a recurrent situation?

Yes this is a reoccurring issue she has dealt with for the past 6 months. Nausea, vomitting, pain on her right side. First diagnosed with gallstones, then colitis and pancreatitus. Though no signs of these now exist except for pancreatitus( inflamed pancreas). She needs a heavy detox. Has Uranium and copper poising from water that was in her old house in Northern California. Chronic kidney infections and kidney stones which I think is a result of these toxins. She has eliminated sugar, alcohol from her diet. Next I hope she will reduce and give up on dairy and wheat.

Seems she had a dark night of soul last night because we all left her alone to deal with her issues and she has come to a better place, for now. She will need follow up visits with a doctor and working through getting financial assistance. Hoping when she has less severe issues I can introduce her to the EE program and get her the Ultra Simple Diet book. Lead her to the water so to speak, but not force her to drink
This is an opportunity for growth for our family and I trust that the lessons will be revealed and we can move on.

Thanks again for the support. Looking forward to catching up on the forum. Blessings to you all.

 

[Bluestar]

Wanting to give an update on my daughters ( step, but we hardly use that term, I am mom#2) situation. She was released from the hospital and with no clear diagnosis. Though the doctor gave her 1 month supply of meds. Not very good ones though. I did mention to her some of the side effects of the drugs she was given and she knew of them, but is choosing to take them anyway because they make her feel better and she can function.

The most dumbfounding part of all this is her medical records given to her after she left the hospital. There are so many discrepancies and down right misinterpretations. And yes, lies. That I do not know what to say about it all. Were the Dr's & nurses in a different world.
One of the things that the records states is that she refused to give her medical history to them. Not only is this a lie, but each one of us there made sure each Dr knew her medical history. Also they state that she told a nurse that she was not vomitting, while the nurse wrote that she witnessed her vomit at least 12 times while in the ER. Now the minute we got to the ER, we asked for a bucket so that she would not vomit all over herself.

One after one we read the records and there was conflicting statements. Are they so busy they confuse patients when they record their findings?
Needless to say the amount of diagnosis that was written down and not revealed to her. Each opposing anothers report. The whole thing reeks of a system defined by pathologicals, not to mention a system riddled with ponerized egotistic narcissists. I could go one with so much more, but it is not necessary. Whew. So I suggested she call a lawyer to get it all straightened out. It would in her best interest to have her records cleared and corrected.

I highly recommend, if you or a family member is in need of a hospital that you have an advocate with you. Watching all the moves made by the staff and write it all down. What tests, meds and food that are given, times and by who.

Have lots of catching up to do here on the forum.

 

[Hildegarda]

Bluestar, thank you very much for giving an update on your stepdaughter's health. Thank you also for sharing a big lesson on how to deal with the health system and unprofessional conduct by doctors. It's so good you were able to be with with your stepdaughterher and support her, even if she may not have shown appreciation at this time.

hope she heals soon,

 

[Gertrudes]

Bluestar,

I can only echo Hildegarda's words.

I am also very sorry to hear she had such a treatment at the hospital. Perhaps she could be taken somewhere else, where she would be able to get a more personalized attention?

 

[Aidylsun B.]

I highly recommend, if you or a family member is in need of a hospital that you have an advocate with you. Watching all the moves made by the staff and write it all down. What tests, meds and food that are given, times and by who.

I hope your stepdaughter's health will improve, sooner than later. She is fortunate to have had you with her at the hospital.

You offered excellent advice, Bluestar. I experienced inattentive medical professionals when my son was rushed to emergency and later admitted to ICU. I was chastised by the attending nurse for asking questions about the medications that were being administered and at such close intervals. I didn't stop asking questions and wrote down everything that was said and that was injected. I called for my son's doctor and when he arrived, he found that one monitor was not plugged in and another was not reading accurately. The emergency room doctor had not recorded any medication given and the nurse was now off duty. You are so right. Having someone with your loved one while in the hospital can have a huge impact on their care and recovery.

 

[Bluestar]

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Another quick update:

She has learned some from this experience. One thing is that she is working on not letting the small stuff get to her. Two, she called the hospital legal office and they promised to work at fixing her records. It was clear to the person that she spoke to, that the contradictions were written in her records. The person said they will call her on Monday.

So she is working on fixing things that she used to poo poo away. Big step for her. Plus she claims she is working on a better diet. All good news.