Dream: Interacting with Forum Members

[Avi]

I dreamt last night of being in a "house" - actually, had a meeting of sorts with Laura, Ark, Andromeda and Ailen.

All were present in the dream - its like there was a new home (or "base"?) being sought - almost like a real estate transaction was underway and we met to discuss the property; this required travel across vast distances to get to this "house" - you from your place and me from mine.

I felt shy and reserved, yet we all warmly welcomed each other.

For some reason there was a question about my dogs, sort of like, where were they (in my memory they were "outside" in the car) and you, Laura, asked a very specific question of me, to make something for the house. You wanted it "right then" and I said I would, but maybe could not do immediately and suggested it would take a week. This seemed agreeable.

To be clear, I do not think you were truly in my dreams but that it was symbolic in someway, and the images and feeling of each of you IN the dream seemed very real, I felt like it was a message of sorts. Also, I woke up immediately after this "vision" which often happens to me when there is something important to remember from a dream. I've had a number of dreams with various forum members, too, though this is the first in some months.

You were quite youthful and energetic in the dream, Laura, the message seemed to be about decoration (pleasant/harmonious environment, i.e. "making" something for the "house") and the reference to dogs speaks of loyalty.

Cheers.

 

[Mr.Anderson]

Interesting. "Getting your house in order," comes to mind.

I have had similar dreams but have trouble remembering them. Often they are so extremely chaotic. that I can't put words to them, only feeling. But I think the feelings are often the most important aspect.

 

[Lucius]

Your dream reminds me of my prior hmm just a few days with Laura and the team although I do not know them personally and in fact I do not know how they look in a dream, I knew them.

There was a meeting in the new seat, I remember a big garden - or rather the manor house was smaller than what is now and will certainly remember another large hall with seats in the old-fashioned style. There were also some people from the forum. Common cooking meditation talks. the only thing that was strange was that little was said .. conversation without words as we would understand that one glance hm with caution.

 

[cubbex]

One day I had a dream were I was lost in a forest, in darkness and then I came to Laura's house, and I knew I needed to go away, because as there was lot of people in a party, talking in the dinner table, but I was going out, I was not to be there, and Laura gave me a beautiful blue ring that produced light, with that blue white light I could see the other people, then I needed to go out and I was afraid and his husband gave me a blanket.

I am relating that dream with something I am finding right now... I have being in the better way the rules from this forum, I like the normal fire and struggle offered to me here, by the most objective responses, as the knowledge too. But I find... its not a depressed feeling, its like a realization, I find I do not belong to this group and I have to keep my path, why?

I'll try to work the best I can to the diet(that I haven't really), the EE program, and more but I see this is not my place. And scares me!

-----

About your dream, when I saw Laura in his camelot interview I saw a particular combination between matrix's oraculos and a young woman, her voice was really fresh, and her personality.

I believe that if Laura appears in a dream, maybe is not her in some way, but the knowledge she shares.

 

[Avi]

Hello Brunauld,

I am not sure I follow entirely what you are writing but you seem to be saying that you no longer feel like this forum is for you?

I think those fears and negative introjections can be common and so the key, to me at least, is to maintain focus upon your aim and to remember why you felt attracted to this forum in the first place.

Do not suppress the fear or it has the tendency to come out sideways, in my experience, so bring it to the surface or the light of consciousness, so to speak, in order to look at what is REALLY going on? The thought behind the thought, as it were. IS it even YOUR thought or something inserted into the stream of consciousness from an "outside" source, perhaps?

Of course if you truly feel deep down that the forum is no longer for you, I do not really know what to say.

All the best,

~Herakles

One day I had a dream were I was lost in a forest, in darkness and then I came to Laura's house, and I knew I needed to go away, because as there was lot of people in a party, talking in the dinner table, but I was going out, I was not to be there, and Laura gave me a beautiful blue ring that produced light, with that blue white light I could see the other people, then I needed to go out and I was afraid and his husband gave me a blanket.

I am relating that dream with something I am finding right now... I have being in the better way the rules from this forum, I like the normal fire and struggle offered to me here, by the most objective responses, as the knowledge too. But I find... its not a depressed feeling, its like a realization, I find I do not belong to this group and I have to keep my path, why?

I'll try to work the best I can to the diet(that I haven't really), the EE program, and more but I see this is not my place. And scares me!

-----

About your dream, when I saw Laura in his camelot interview I saw a particular combination between matrix's oraculos and a young woman, her voice was really fresh, and her personality.

I believe that if Laura appears in a dream, maybe is not her in some way, but the knowledge she shares.

 

[agni]

Hi Herakles !

I saw you in the dream on the weekend. Do not remember much, other then it was raining and we were helping you with a move.

 

[Al Today]

Dreams... Who is to say where they are from?

Tis up to each of us to discern?

 

[Avi]

Hi Herakles !

I saw you in the dream on the weekend. Do not remember much, other then it was raining and we were helping you with a move.

Hello Agni,

Nice to hear from you again my friend.

:)

Well that is interesting.



There are some internal moves going on and I am getting a stronger feeling for what might be done about the career/financial problem, so perhaps that is it?

 

[cubbex]

I feel that I do not belong here because I feel deeply that is not my work to help this group, and I can't be hypocrite going along saying I want to service others, etc, when I don't really feel the impulse, I have to do what is correct but... is that my being or an external instruction?

 

[anart]

I feel that I do not belong here because I feel deeply that is not my work to help this group, and I can't be hypocrite going along saying I want to service others, etc, when I don't really feel the impulse, I have to do what is correct but... is that my being or an external instruction?

No one can answer that question for you. I would suggest that you go and do whatever it is you are called to do. If you ever reach a point in your life when you want to return, we may still be here.

 

[Avi]

I feel that I do not belong here because I feel deeply that is not my work to help this group, and I can't be hypocrite going along saying I want to service others, etc, when I don't really feel the impulse, I have to do what is correct but... is that my being or an external instruction?

A difficult question, that.

Well, at the least we can see your desire not to be a hypocrite. :) That is admirable. The struggle to seek and understand the truth in you.

However as to whether it is your being or an external instruction.....

I don't have the answer.

I obviously do not speak for others on this forum, but why even bother with this forum if you "feel deeply that is not my work to help this group" - and, by the way, WHAT does THAT mean?

I've noticed that English is not your native tongue and sometimes have found it difficult to follow your line of thinking, not wanting to jump the gun and come to premature or erroneous conclusions; but, really, what is it you are after here?

We can either say "OK, the world is going to hell in a handbasket and so maybe if I learn about myself, by interacting with this forum, I might LEARN HOW and WHAT it MEANS to be of service to others."

Or we can say, "I am simply along for the ride because I like the sh*ts and giggles".

Perhaps that is what troubles you? Perhaps there is a war inside of you as your heart says one thing but your mind says another. If that is the case, congratulations! It means you are starting to wake-up.

There is also the possibility that you feel unappreciated or neglected on this forum and therefore are projecting outwardly that you do not need the forum, for after all, what the hell do they care about me?

I am going out on a limb by writing this and please do not take it personally.

But as I said initially, if you feel that this place is not for you, what are you doing here and what else can be said?

Cheers,

~H

 

[cubbex]

Well when I asked, I meant that, if it is really "me" doing all this even when I don't like it, because it is correct, or, if I am just doing it because it is said here to do that because it is correct. Not the healthy things like EE or diet, but the people on the forum.

Then when I say that I feel that it is not my work to help the group is because first I don't see my initiative as some do, and you know, the way they like to help here offering very good contributions, second how do I really know if I am part of this soul group? even with some strange experiences I had related to the group activities third there is a point when as I see it you don't really need others (when you can search for the answers alone) but others may need you when I just do the best I can if not I would be giving more.

And it is something fun, because I have not taken the desicion, but I am thinking about, I think I am misunderstood here, it's not that I am not interested in the group activities, or helping people in the swamp, or if it's needed to put a link about something, or whatever seems to be needed from me that I can give. But, as I see other people really interested, more than me, I really ask to myself if I am part of all this, even being drawn here because of some kind of "don't know energy", with the purpose of still learning, and I have given the first step, I don't want to sleep again (if I am awake that I don't really know, and when it happens it will happen) and I don't want to turn back all the progress I know I have made, to become again addicted, weak, dependant, afraid of all, and dissociating more than I do now. I don't want to stop the path, I feel was born to do it, it is my life, it is the most fun thing it happens to me, and even make the suffering the spice of life, but... I don't know does this forum needs me and vice versa?

So I'm confused Herackles, but thanks for the therapy.

Anart. I will take your suggestion as some probability, thanks.

 

[obyvatel]

there is a point when as I see it you don't really need others (when you can search for the answers alone) but others may need you when I just do the best I can if not I would be giving more.
..................
but... I don't know does this forum needs me and vice versa?

Hi Brunauld,

This forum is a school which operates on principles which are different from the typical rules and ways of regular life. One comes to a school to learn and the learning here is about life itself. To learn effectively, one has to have the attitude of a student. Here, the senior members of the forum look upon themselves as students who are here to learn. Helping others gradually becomes a big part of this learning process - but giving such help comes not from a position of ego but as a natural process of growth and a spirit of sharing experiences. So, if you think that you have reached the point where you no longer need this school but you are sticking around just because others may need you - then you have lost your student attitude. If you lose your student attitude as far as this forum is concerned, neither can you help yourself , nor can you help others and to think that you can is simply dreaming.

Since you also wrote

[quote author=Brunauld]
I really ask to myself if I am part of all this, even being drawn here because of some kind of "don't know energy", with the purpose of still learning, and I have given the first step, I don't want to sleep again (if I am awake that I don't really know, and when it happens it will happen) and I don't want to turn back all the progress I know I have made, to become again addicted, weak, dependant, afraid of all, and dissociating more than I do now.
[/quote]

it seems there is a part of you that does not want to go back to sleep and dream. Now it is up to you to decide which part you want to feed and strengthen.

To wake up from sleep, one needs to work towards developing a permanent center of gravity.

[quote author=ISOTM]
Right work on oneself begins with the creation of a permanent center of gravity. When a permanent center of gravity has been created everything else begins to be disposed and distributed in subordination to it. The question comes to this: From what and how can a permanent center of gravity be created? And to this may be replied that only a man's attitude to the work, to school, his valuation of the work, and his realization of the mechanicalness and aimlessness of everything else can create in him a permanent center of gravity.
[/quote]

May be it is useful for you to ask yourself what is your aim at this stage?

 

[realitybugll]

Hi Brunauld,

these are my thoughts, after reading the thread.

But, as I see other people really interested, more than me, I really ask to myself if I am part of all this

So, it is hard to know what you mean by seeing other people "really interested". your thoughts seem to be in the direction of 'many members of the forum are active and dedicated to the teaching here and helping others...and I am not'. I can relate to what you write about observing others as "really interested" in this group. I guess this is most easy to quantify by post number...and other facts. For me, I understand that some members give a lot (money and time) while others not as much. But this is hard to understand because a member could give money and expect a return and for instance become against the group. Or with time, a member can post many times and spend a lot of time writing but it is not giving what is asked. So suppose there is members that give more, i.e more STO oriented, but how can we see this if we are asleep. It does not seem so obvious to detect...so maybe when you see people as "really interested" the reality is different.

I can understand your question "am I part of this soul-group?". I mean soul group is a pretty abstract concept... I understand your words more like "Do I belong or not". Many of us have had these thoughts unrelated to the cass group... in different life situations. It is a narcissism right?. Because maybe many of us have grew up in certain pathological environments and as a result not felt like we "belonged" or only in certain situations. This is how it is for me. It is not bad to feel this way, because there is much work to be done, and it can be overcome I think. So you feel like you might not belong, and you write about it, that's good. maybe you can understand.

when you said "I feel deeply that is not my work to help this group" I think Anarts reply is good. This is just one 'I' right? and it can control you but is does not have to. I think it is worth it to remember that people who become aware of the cass material and 'apart of the group' in whatever way this is, have hurt Laura and caused pain. I'm not saying this is you at all, but it just comes to mind. Anyways, I think we have choice, freewill, and maybe some people don't have freewill like OP's, but since we can't prove this, we can keep 'fighting' with a goal. This is how it is for me, so I hope I can help you. Its a struggle.

 

[Aiming]

Brunauld,

fwiw, I think what it comes down to is: do you enjoy learning here? Do you enjoy reading and thinking about all this material and attempting to apply it into your life? Do you enjoy working to become a better person? And as obyvatel said: what is your aim? What is it that you want from your life?