Dream of Black Panther Attacks

[know_yourself_1234]

Hi to everyone!

I would like to ask for your help regarding a dream I had last night that completely shook me up.

I woke up in a kind of shocked state, sweating and frozen by fear, because during this dream I have been constantly harrassed by black panthers.

The dream began 'outside' and I was located with family members at the entrance of a place, I think it was a shop in town. Around us were 2, maybe 3 adult black panthers. I remembered them moving around me, slowly, so that I stayed still, holding my breath, trying to keep a low profile as much as I could, so that they would eventually move around without hurting me.

Then, the dream took place at my grandmother's home (she is the utmost kind women I have ever met, which always allowed me to do things I wanted, respecting my free will – going to her place for holiday was a kind of relief, because she was understanding me, and by letting me do what I wanted, I did nothing « wrong » ; she was indeed « guiding » me instead of « telling me what to do »).

Actually, in this home, there were two kind of black panthers: baby ones, and adult ones. During this dream, I have been only 'concerned' by the attack of the small ones. But they litterally harrassed me.

There was no moment of rest. They jumped on me, scratching every part of me, except my head. Once I could get rid of one of these small creature, another one would jump on me and sink its claws in my body, being hanged on and hurting me, hurting me. Each time I was experiencing an intense panick, and I cried at other family members so that they would eventually take it away from me.

It was like the presence of these panthers was NORMAL in this place, for them, and that I should not make such a big deal of it. They were actually not seeing how much I was suffering from their attacks.

I could simply NOT take one away from my body; because I was young, because I was being hurt, and because their presence was kind of "normal", so it was like I had to accept this situation.

At some moment I tried to walk aside them, trying another strategy of « be calm so that they won’t hurt you », but I was eventually not able to keep them for starting a new attack.

Is the key there ? Is my behavior relating to them wrong, so that I have to change myself in order to walk along with them ? It seems wrong because WHY SHOULD BLACK AGGRESSIVE PANTHERS MOVE ALONG IN A FAMILY PLACE ?

The worst is that in this place there were 2, maybe 3 adult black panthers, and I prayed all my family members to keep them behind the door, locked in a room. But they would not! They would simply take them in another room or corridor, but not locked… So that they could come freely everywhere and I had to be in a constant « guard » if they would try to sneak in the living room (the room where all the attacks took place ; I eventually never left this room).
Family members would tell me "chill out, we own them so there is no way to fear them", but when facing my supplicating demands, I have not been confronted to them.

I was really supplicating them to NOT let the big ones come around me because I knew they would tear me into pieces. At a moment, they were behind the door and I was trying to handle the door so that they could not reach me. They made the door shake, with an incredible force, and eventually a leg went and injured myself.

At the moment of supplication, there were small ones stucked on me but it was really more important to not let the big ones in! So I was accepting the small ones hurting me at that moment. Did not matter. « Please, do not let the big ones in ». I was constantly crying during all the dream.

The big ones were the property of my aunt. i can remember this. Why the hell did she have to own Black Panthers ? Goldfishes would have done it !

There was no rest.

At a moment I could see myself, with multiple small bleedings because of the many attacks by the small ones.

But there was an horizontal "claw stab" right over my chest. Over my heart area. And that one was not like the small injurries: it was a clear horizontal cut, thick as a thumb, with a clear blood trail. And I knew that a "big one" did it to me. The other small ones were "nothing" in comparaison to that one.

At that moment I saw myself as I maybe really am : totally injured, multiple bleedings.
I felt such a pity for myself.

(end of the dream !)

-

Yesterday, I have been with a new friend of mine which encouraged me to make interaction with people in town, and we eventually succeded in doing this. But it was so difficult for me to "be in the correct mood", without anticipation, and just "live the present moment", and go to straight contact with people. This friend showed me an old familiar way of "making other people comfortable" by letting them be as they are. It was really a challenge for me, and I felt great at some moments!

Then he showed me that I was always looking for "retribution", "validation of me being there" in my way of acting, by going always in the same direction as other people. Even if I have an opinion, I would just be "outside myself" and acknowledge whatever the other person showed me (music, way of thinking,...). My friend told me that it made him feel really uncomfortable. And that this was clearly NOT me!

Always thanking, saying sorry,...

At the end of the day, I told him about why I thought I could not succeed in just living my own life, and that was because of my narcissic parents. he told me: "this is crap! Are you a man? You are 28 years old now and you have to live your life! You cannot put the fault on omeone else, even your parents".

I have to say that he was not completely wrong, as I feel that a part of me is kind of 'stuck', do not want to live or move further. I then understood that even if during the past I had lived traumatic experiences regarding authoritary parents (could never have my own opinion! Theirs had to prevail), there was no reason for me to not move on, if I decided so.

-

Before writing this message, I came upon some dream interpretation about Black Panther attack, and what strucked me was the following excerpt:

The Black Panther can also be a symbol of our shadow self (see archetypes). In your dream you sacrifice yourself for your son, allowing yourself to become the target of the panther's attack.

And there was indeed the notion of sacrifying myself to my mother's needs when she divorced from my father; I was 18.

-

This leads me to asking for your help about maybe what you think, or if you could teach me deeper interpretation of this dream?

I really have a problem with my mother today, as I have a really bad relationship with her. I love her but during the last year she showed me nothing but conditionnal love. Today, I am at the verge of "letting go of her presence", because I see only pain when facing her.

The other day we had an argument, and she « offered » me her help. But What kind of help ? Would she ever ask me what kind of help I need ? Not at all.

Could you reccomend me some readings, or some basic understanding for letting go the more smoothly as possible this "grip"?

Do you think that by simply deciding to move on with my own life could make it?

Because this is what I decided yesterday, before going to bed, but during the night I had this nightmare... And I think that the confrontation with the Big Black Panthers could be fatal to myself, so I do not want to do it in a wrong way.

-

I have another question :

I am a man. Sometimes I feel that there is a big man force that I do not let in, because I think that it would make me a kind of oppressive jerk. But this comes along with a « grounding sensation », but I feel that this force is based on anger, and that it makes a kind of « I know it all » guy.

Would it be a kind of starting point to let this in and then smooth it ?

I fear that it would crush something I feel as Understanding, Love, Patience.

Do a man have « Feminine Creative Energy » or is this principle a symbolic one ?

I have to say that my right body hemisphere is the one « locked », and there are part of it asleep. And when speaking about the « man force trying to get in », I can clearly identify it as my left hemisphere. There is an imbalance, and I do not want to have an overwhelming of one side.. Does this make sense ?

Thank you for your help!

:/

 

[paralleloscope]

Hi know_yourself_1234

The panthers could as you say be an aspect of the shadow, reminded me of this part:

Q: (Galatea) I’ve been having dreams regarding tigers and have been having other tiger coincidences. What is the meaning behind these coincidences?

A: Awareness of the power of nature and some fear.

Am i Right that you Grandmother was not present in your dream? only the space or house she provided that you associate with a freedom of being, which then was invaded by family members whom you have all kinds of different and perhaps bloodier emotional dynamics attached. To me this sounds like a call to study your narcissistic woundings.

If you haven't read the Big 5, especially 'Trapped in the mirror' by Elan Golomb and 'Narcissitic family' by Donaldson-Pressman, these are very pertinent. It was first at the second reading of them that it dawned on me emotionally how these wounds are embedded. Especially my wounded male part by a very conditional mother. Best of wishes to your study and Work with this.

 

[know_yourself_1234]

Thank you parralel,

No, my grandmother was indeed present, and I think that she was the one who helped me the most to take the little panthers away. I think that she was maybe the only one, who actually helped me to take these stuff away. And she was not questionning about the active suffering caused by these little injuring sneaky beasts. She just understood that they were causing me pain.

I will carry on a second reading of "Trapped in the mirror", and eventually order the narcissistic family as soon as I can.

 

[obyvatel]

[quote author=know_yourself_1234]

I really have a problem with my mother today, as I have a really bad relationship with her. I love her but during the last year she showed me nothing but conditionnal love. Today, I am at the verge of "letting go of her presence", because I see only pain when facing her.

The other day we had an argument, and she « offered » me her help. But What kind of help ? Would she ever ask me what kind of help I need ? Not at all.

Could you reccomend me some readings, or some basic understanding for letting go the more smoothly as possible this "grip"?
[/quote]

Hi know_yourself_1234,
I agree with Parallel about reading Narcissistic Family. Your friend's advice to take responsibility for your own life and move on is also sound. It is up to you to break the "grip" as you call it. You can do it by taking responsibility for yourself and setting appropriate boundaries in your interactions with your mother.

Regarding boundary setting, here is what the Pressmans have to say
[quote author=Narcissistic Family]
"I'd like to be able to meet your needs, but I can't. In this case our needs are in conflict, and I have to attend to mine". It is important to understand that while it is a difficult skill to acquire, it is vital for our mental health and positive self-image that we learn to be advocates of ourselves. Otherwise we end up in meeting other people's needs at the expense of our own. If we are further able to communicate our message in a respectful and adult way (RAC), people will be able to hear our message clearly without being threatened or devalued by it.
[/quote]

Pressmans talk quite a bit about RAC (respectful adult communication). RAC helps in setting boundaries and communicating feelings. It works according to the "I feel ............I want ........." model. For example " I feel the need to to move on with my life. I want to have some space to be able to proceed in that direction " could be a valid response if you feel that your mother has a grip on your life which you want to address. I could be off base in the above example - it depends on the dynamics of your relationship with your mother - but I hope you get the idea of how RAC could work in such a situation.

[quote author=know_yourself_1234]

I am a man. Sometimes I feel that there is a big man force that I do not let in, because I think that it would make me a kind of oppressive jerk. But this comes along with a « grounding sensation », but I feel that this force is based on anger, and that it makes a kind of « I know it all » guy.

Would it be a kind of starting point to let this in and then smooth it ?
.........................
This leads me to asking for your help about maybe what you think, or if you could teach me deeper interpretation of this dream?

[/quote]

You may be on the right track by acknowledging you have unresolved anger. Your panther dream could be connected to this. One Jungian way of interpreting dreams is by assuming all the components/actors in the dream are part of the psyche of the individual. Going by that premise, the panthers repeatedly hurting you could be related to dark unresolved anger causing problems in your life (or the part of you whose essence is that of a child who wants to perhaps really live life ). The more "adult" parts of the psyche are aware that the anger issues are there and prefer not to do much about it (make token gestures by simply moving the panthers to another room without really addressing the core issue).

If you believe that the above scenario is probable, then you have to seriously start looking at the buried anger issues. If you are the type who does not express much anger directly, you may want to take a look at the Passive Anger thread. You may also want to take a look at the book "In An Unspoken Voice - How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness" by Peter Levine. There is a summary of that book here . Chronic suppressed anger symptoms include tension in jaws, back, shoulder, arms etc.

You were suggested EE in an earlier thread - how is it going with that?

 

[Meager1]

I think that panthers, lions, tigers, and cats in general, represent feminine energy.

Could be something of your own repressed feminine aspect, but more likely represents females in your life that have scratched, or hurt you in the past.

And it seems like you already suspect that might be the case.

 

[know_yourself_1234]

Thank you obyvatel for the useful links and advices

I began to read the excerpts from the books you suggested and hence the very "scientific" nomenclature, I found very similar traits, for example when speaking about specific body zones (dorsal) being concerned because of emotional retention.

I really have been in a bad bad family. There is a strong dependance that has been created to nasty relationship regarding my mother; I have been re-reading "The drama of the gifted child", and the following came to me, as well as a part of me, which is still "holding the fist" because of repeated traumatic experience.

This part of me is really "stuck" in powerlessness, and because of the contempt I have been suffering up to today when facing my mother; her opinion always prevailed. She was maybe right, but it is the fact that my opinion did not count at all.

To day I realize *again* that my childhood was nothing but "shut up and close the fist - this is how I did" (my mothers word)

When I was younger, I would not be able to do anything else than "go in my room and close the fist", swearing to myself that I would not forget.

But today I forgot.

And all my past 10 years was a kind of pushing grandiosity pressure on that poor part of myself which is still there. Today, I feel sorry for myself. Crazy. But when this came up today, I found myself like the abused teenager: it is like nothing has changed. the same "smiling down", the wish to cry, but the fact that no one seems to see it except myself make it really unsupportable. This is maybe the most difficult.

This is why the RAC process described is sooo hard to apply, because I really feel how much love I have been missing for myself.

You know, I have a little sister of 18 years old. At the age of 16, she left my mother's place because she could not take no more. Today my mother is seeing a psychologist, but I haven't seen any progress in her attitude towards her children at all. Eventually, her "principles" are growing harder. The worse is that she accepted to help my little sister: today, she goes to the same psychologist as my mother :O

This is why I sent my mother a really hard message telling her what I have been feeling during all my life when looking in her eyes: lack of confidence toward us, control, contempt. This look never changed. This is really horrible, people. this should not exist.

And I see my little sister suffering so much. I seen how my mother manipulates her, in promising her "love" if she does what she tells her to do...

This is how it has always been. There is no love. We are alone.

But today I want to protect my contempted part; but it is hard because my way of living is full of contempt to myself. This is really the worse. Because of denial, it is me today that contempt other people.

So, thank you for having put me again on the right track.

I really wish I could tell you how many EE exercises I had done, but I quitted. Another lost battle but not war? I really hope so. It is just that I have been very keen in contempting myself, and maybe I was refusing what was good for me.

Crazy.

I do not want to be a split human being. But it is hard. I will carry on the work because I found a lost track of myself.

The utmost difficult part in this state of affair is when I tried to speak about "something wrong in my childhood" with other people. Everyone would say these, IMAO, stupid sentences:

• "they are your parents"
• "you do not choose your family"
• "you have to move on because you are a big boy now"

But as the suffering is still there, the parental dependance which has been created in the past is now translated in myself and ruining my relationships. I am looking for external support (mostly material) everywhere I can. More than this, I feel that I am looking for contempt from other people by building dependancies with them. Crazy crazy.

So if another wounded child is reading these lines, please accept to not let these "well-made" sentences come in too freely, because I have been experiencing another depression after just letting it go through one ear.

 

[obyvatel]

Hi know_yourself_1234,
I am sorry for what you had to go through in childhood. Do you still live in the same house as your mother? You could try and minimize contact with her at least for a period of time which would give you some space to heal your wounds - osit.

You were powerless when you were a kid - today as an adult you do not need to remain in the same state. A part of you - a wounded child - has been left frozen in the old state where he is still powerless, unloved and judged. But there are other parts in you today - adults who could take the child in their arms and comfort him - something that was missing from your dream. The wounded child needs to be comforted but he should not be allowed to run the life of an adult - that is you - in the present. The "shutting oneself off and closing the fist" was the coping strategy that was used in the past - it has no place in the present. You have far more tools in your toolbox as well as external support (this network, or even a therapist if you choose to see one) today than what you had earlier. So you could begin to start moving away from the old patterns of thinking and behavior if you really make the choice.

One technique that has worked for me and many others in the forum is to bring out all the grievances and anger that the inner child feels on paper - write a letter holding nothing back and then burn it. EE tremendously helps with these issues as well. When you have 50 posts and can view some of the private sections of the forum, you can perhaps read many many personal stories which deal with issues that we are talking about. The point is you do not have to suffer alone - there is a way out and there is assistance available if you choose to avail of them.

Here are a couple of threads that talk about healing the inner child related issues
Healing the inner child
Healing the fragmented self in the IFS therapeutic model

Being gentle but firm with the self is perhaps important in this regard. There are parts within you that perhaps do not want you to really look into these issues with the goal of moving past them - which may lead to procrastination and avoidance (like the adults in your dream avoiding the issue of the panthers hurting the child). Here it is important to be firm and take responsibility. Also, there are parts which are wounded and feel judged - with those parts (like the hurt child) it is important to be gentle. But one must have the self-observer part running to recognize who is directing the behavior at any given time. For this and much more, regular practice of EE/POTS is invaluable.

fwiw

 

[cubbex]

When I had a similar dream about a panter, a big black panter, I was able to dominate her. The dream happened when I was getting rid of lot of programs indeed, like kind of dominating the predator.

 

[know_yourself_1234]

The wounded child needs to be comforted but he should not be allowed to run the life of an adult - that is you - in the present.

Would that means that I should maybe do "things", acts, for this part of me? Like asking it what it wants? To maybe manage some "childy" activities in order to let it grow and then integrate it?

I understand that there is the more grown up part of myself in the command now, but its actings make the child suffer.

What I do not understand i what has to be done with that part, I mean what will this part of me become as "purified" or treated correctly? By being gentle what will happen to this part? Will it integrate just by acknowledging its presence? Or should I in a certain way walk along and then it will go to its "destiny" and "disappear"? Where is this part "headed"?

Thank you!


Brunauld:

In the end, do I have to really "dominate" the predator? I have the feeling that any way it is there but I do not want to confront it, because I have done a lot of resistance and it seems not to be the correct way, because it would be like "trying to force" instead of dodging attacks, avoiding contact, which would maybe "put me in".

Because the pressure of the Predator seems to be really "one-way-headed", like "take this in your face", and be a kind of constant flow, straight on, only one direction. So if I would just make one step aside it would be like "one step would make you avoid the train coming in the front".

Please tell me what you feel

 

[know_yourself_1234]

Exiles
Exiles are young parts that suffered the original trauma in the past. These are the parts that hold the pain which the protectors are trying to keep from surfacing. Exiles are often stuck at a particular time in childhood at a specific age when it encountered some trauma. Sometimes, the trauma plays out over the years and the exile holding the trauma is not frozen at a single time point. In general, exiles exhibit a wide variety of painful memories - feeling lonely, abandoned, abused, betrayed, ashamed, angry,terrified, powerless etc. In addition, they have negative views about the world and themselves.
Because exiles hold the pain from past events, they are exiled by protectors into the dark recesses of the psyche, away from the light of consciousness. Earley makes a distinction between what is called the inner child and the exiles in the following way
Citation de: Self Therapy
IFS uses the term exile to refer to what has been called the inner child. However, people often talk about the inner child as there were only one. In IFS, we recognize that there are many inner child parts or exiles, each carrying its own burden. Every exile must be healed in a way that is unique to it because each has its own feelings, burdens and memories.
These emotions and views held by exiles are called their burdens. IFS maintains that the parts are not defined by their burdens - they have their own intrinsic potential. So when the burdens are shed through therapy, the parts can take on a new and different role in the psyche.

I will never thank you enough for having pointed this link out to me:
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=20872.0

This really speaks to me and I cannot wait to carry the reading on! It actually shows me that the part of myself I am dealing with is an approx. 16 years old boy, stucked, frozen. But now I feel recognition from this part to me.. It is like "the world knows now"...

Please, allow me to share this recognition with you :)

 

[obyvatel]

The wounded child needs to be comforted but he should not be allowed to run the life of an adult - that is you - in the present.

Would that means that I should maybe do "things", acts, for this part of me? Like asking it what it wants? To maybe manage some "childy" activities in order to let it grow and then integrate it?

Acknowledging the pain of the child - simply accepting the fact that events in the past has caused pain - is the first step. You seem to be on track with this. By my understanding, this acknowledging needs to be more than an intellectual acceptance - feeling the emotional impact and the accompanying body sensations makes for a richer experience. Strong emotions may arise in the process . One way to deliberately discharge this emotional energy constructively would be to write a journal/letter without holding back anything that comes to mind. The energy could also be dissipated spontaneously through crying or trembling - like what often happens with EE practice. After such release of the bound energy (visualized as a child frozen in the past), one may feel a little lighter. This is usually not a one-time process but continues over a period of time - at least that has been my experience.

There may not be a need to engage in some childish activities to placate the child. If there is a strong urge to do something of that sort, it may be a good idea to network about it. My feeling is that it is ok to do small things once in a while to placate the child part - but it has to be done with care with the adult parts firmly in control. It is exactly as one would treat a real child. A parent takes care of a child, listens to what he says and then makes decisions which are best for the child. A child cannot make good decisions for himself because he lacks knowledge and understanding which the adults (hopefully) have. So if a child wants to eat candy and play throughout the day an adult would not let it happen. If the child has his way, he will only be hurting himself. Letting the inner child run our adult lives would lead to similar unpleasant consequences - this is what I was trying to convey in the part that you have quoted above.
Hope this clarifies things a little better.

 

[know_yourself_1234]

There may not be a need to engage in some childish activities to placate the child. If there is a strong urge to do something of that sort, it may be a good idea to network about it. My feeling is that it is ok to do small things once in a while to placate the child part - but it has to be done with care with the adult parts firmly in control. It is exactly as one would treat a real child. A parent takes care of a child, listens to what he says and then makes decisions which are best for the child. A child cannot make good decisions for himself because he lacks knowledge and understanding which the adults (hopefully) have. So if a child wants to eat candy and play throughout the day an adult would not let it happen. If the child has his way, he will only be hurting himself. Letting the inner child run our adult lives would lead to similar unpleasant consequences - this is what I was trying to convey in the part that you have quoted above.
Hope this clarifies things a little better.

Yes it does pretty much indeed! Thank you for clarifying this; I have to tell you that the IFS method worked more than "well"; and the whole process is described in such details.. I have been clearly identifying an "exile" and a "protector" part, as well as a "firefighter".

And it has been a long long time (sorry for that one) that I had not experienced a bit of "wholeness". But as you stated, I have to deal carefully with the childy part, because:

So if a child wants to eat candy and play throughout the day an adult would not let it happen. If the child has his way, he will only be hurting himself

And it is true that the childy part in myself has no "moderation"... Have to keep my Self in the command, if I understood it correctly.

This method is really... whoa... GREAT :)

Is there any more information regarding the "firefighter" part? Because it appears to me that this one is the really destructive one that took on the relay above all others, and that it clearly has to be "taken away", because of its destructive orders. It even seems that the "firefighter" is a kind of foreign entity. Do you have experience in dealing with this?

 

[obyvatel]

Is there any more information regarding the "firefighter" part? Because it appears to me that this one is the really destructive one that took on the relay above all others, and that it clearly has to be "taken away", because of its destructive orders. It even seems that the "firefighter" is a kind of foreign entity. Do you have experience in dealing with this?

I agree that they are very destructive. They may be a kind of foreign entity - spirit attachments (attracted through rituals or otherwise) or installed through abusive mind-control experiments (like Greenbaum) or something else. The important thing is to identify such parts (if they happen to exist) and deal very firmly with them - as in not allowing them to dictate or influence any actions that we take. Unmasking these parts probably go a long way in neutralizing their effects as they essentially operate outside of conscious awareness.

DC Hammond's Greenbaum speech can be found at http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/greenbaum.htm . Be warned that it is dark stuff.