Dream of Destruction

[Dez]

Hi everyone. This is my 1st 'actual' post aside from my recent introduction post in the 'Newbies' thread. Thanks for the warm welcome and good wishes.
I wanted to discuss 2 very vivid dreams I've had in the last week and get your perspective on them. Yet, 1st I need to tell you where I am in life. This plays a major role, I think, in these dreams. Being very new to The Wave and responsiveness, I thought some of you more 'awakened' souls might dig a bit deeper into the meaning of these dreams as they are rather obvious on the surface.
Over the last year and a half due to the recession, I have lost my career (still scrambling to find work), my savings, my marriage, my best friend to suicide, my vehicle and soon...my home. You can imagine the stress and depression I struggle with. I pray for a miracle daily. There was a time when I could forecast...or visualize a future path during trying times in my life, yet now...I see nothing...only...static. And this terrifies me.
The dreams:

1st - I'm standing on the 2nd story deck of my soon to be lost home. Hands on the rail, looking to the southern horizon. (I do this daily to reflect and just decompress) It's nearing the end of the day. I feel a rumble coming from behind me and soon the rumble is overhead. I look straight up to see a fireball streaking south. The fireball disappears far over the horizon. About a minute later I hear/feel a distant, yet sickening 'thud'...a minute later every cloud in the sky is rolling backwards and a new rumble begins far in the distance. ( I might say at this point that in this dream everything is tangible; I can feel the deck, the breeze, ..it was as if this was truly happening 1st person) The rumble becomes louder and louder as the earth begins to shake very quickly, but not terribly....On the horizon the sky is turning an amber color...it begins to darken to a greyish-red. All the while I remain standing in the same position...not running or even exhibiting any concern) Then I see, from left to right all the way across the horizon a wave of dust and heat that seems miles high. The wave is approaching exponentially faster towards me...It seemed like seconds from the time I saw it until it was right on top of me. It engulfed me and hit like a sledgehammer and a blast furnace combined. I never flinched. Almost resigned to my fate. I then woke up quite disturbed and upset. It was around 2am and it took me some time to try and sleep again.
When I fell back asleep I dreamed this:
2nd - I'm walking with someone out in nature. It's a rugged terrain and we're apparently hiking. I'm speaking to the other person a few meters in front of me about something and he doesn't seem to be listening to me. I ask him why he's not responding and he has stopped in his tracks and seems to be distracted by something off in the distance...still not paying attention to my conversation. I become annoyed at his behavior and ask him again what his problem is...then I glance in the direction his attention was drawn and see a pyroclastic wave rumbling up over the horizon towards us. He just stands there eyes fixed on the event. I turn to my left where there is a small river and a bridge and run for the underside of the bridge. The last thing I remember was saying to myself, "We'll never even know what killed us".

So, that's that. Both dreams were so very real and vivid. I might mention I rarely remember my dreams and throughout my life, I've never had nightmares or apocalyptic dreams. Again, from the losses of my recent past, I can only assume the obvious interpretation, but I'd really like to hear what all of you think about this. Is this the reason why I can't see a way out to a new future?

 

[luke wilson]

Hey Dez,

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear about what you have had to go through over the last year and a half. What you described is really a nightmarish situation.

If anything, look at it from a different point of view which is, due to your experiences, you now have an opportunity to work on your machine and hopefully things will start turning around. You should pick up some of the recommended books and read through them and they'll open up your eyes to new ways of seeing things and thinking.

Now onto your dreams..

I'm standing on the 2nd story deck of my soon to be lost home. Hands on the rail, looking to the southern horizon. [...]
it's nearing the end of the day.
I feel a rumble coming from behind me and soon the rumble is overhead.

In the first dream, you were stood out on your balcony looking to the southern horizon, away from the oncoming danger. Could this be a metaphor of how you've been living life with regard to not paying attention to all the signs around you and believeing in subjectivity with no attempt at looking for objectivity? So if you have been living like this, you've basically been staring away at the impending problems which were coming your way. This could be multi-layered, interms of, maybe indicating poor planning interms of the way you lived your life and how you would handle problems if any turned up or esoterically how you dealt with your own being interms of favouring the lies and illusion as opposed to trying to overcome them in yourself.

I remain standing in the same position...not running or even exhibiting any concern

This could be that, even after you know what is going to happen, you are oblivious to your impending destruction. You are somehow disconnected from reality. You say you could feel everything because the dream was vivid and yet despite all this, despite this awe inspiring destructive event occuring right infront of you, you act like someone who is oblivious to what is going to happen next... It could be that the dream is trying to get you to connect back to your reality and acknowledge all that is happening around you or is about to happen.

In your second dream, maybe the person who you were talking to represented your Real I and you represented the False personality. Again, he see's the danger before you do because you were involved in being 'annoyed' due to your self-importance being hurt due to him appearing to ignore you.

This could be like a jolt to try and get you to acknowledge the reality about you and start 'working.' Trying to wake up and basically continuing down the path you have started now. Maybe this is what it was all about. Maybe you have just done what the dreams intended which is to get you here where you can have access to information and a network that could help you help yourself work for your Real I as opposed to the False personality.

The destruction was devastating in both dreams, which could or could not be indicating real comet strikes interms of that is how you will die and this is somehow meant to warn you about that but it could be what you consider to be something quite awe inspiring and destructive that your subconscious used this to try and get you a message that you wouldnt ignore. To die from a comet isnt as bad as to destroy ones soul and end up going back to dust to start the whole thing again working your way up the densities. Maybe what the dreams were all about was that it is time to start working on yourself so that, that doesnt happen. Because that would indeed be apocalyptic, atleast to you.

This is just my take on it Daz. Hopefully others can chip in.

 

[luke wilson]

You can imagine the stress and depression I struggle with.

Have a look at this thread called Depression as a stepping stone(to soul growth)

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2832.0

For more threads like that you can go to The work section and look under Important threads for the work.

 

[Dez]

You can imagine the stress and depression I struggle with.

Have a look at this thread called Depression as a stepping stone(to soul growth)

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2832.0

For more threads like that you can go to The work section and look under Important threads for the work.

You offer some very insightful opinions regarding my experience. Many of the terms you use are a bit unfamiliar to me (The Real I /False Personality) due to my current lack of knowledge in these matters. But I am truly interested in the pursuit of it. Perhaps you're correct in stating that I wasn't as focused on my life the way I needed to be and ignored many a signpost along this hellish highway I seem to be traveling. And, yes, perhaps my selfishness wasn't as apparent to me as I now, looking back, should have acknowledged.
I'm not sure what exactly brought me here to tell the truth. I feel adrift and wandering looking for redemption or rebirth...maybe both. It's as if my slate has been wiped clean. Is my situation as chance to start again or...a sign to fade away? My level of concentrated motivation is profoundly low....as if I'm waiting for something to happen...the 'other shoe to drop' sort of scenario. When I make an attempt at striking out on a positive foot, something disastrous seems to happen...so I, perhaps, unconsciously, decide to NOT make positive strides avoiding more loss...and pain. Of course, this complacency won't hold out much longer. Soon, I will have serious decisions to make that will draft the architectural plans of my future...or there will be a certain finality.
I believed I was stronger than I apparently am. I am lost and profoundly disconnected from any positivity it seems. This is not the person I used to be (defiant, cock-sure, driven and ambitious). To be Shakespearean-esque, ...the wind has gone from my sails and my eternal, internal-furnace has grown cold.
Thank you again for your observations and interpretations. I understand precisely the tack you're taking. I will reflect upon what you've offered and hope others might comment, also.

 

[luke wilson]

Hey Dez,

Sorry I didnt take into account that you are actually not just new to this forum but also to the many ideas presented here.

That is a mistake on my part and to be honest with you, it wasnt long ago that I was in your position. Look at the Cassiopedia if you find words you dont know what they mean.

http://cassiopedia.org/glossary/Main_Page

You also got all the links on your welcome thread to the forum.

In 4th Way psychology, personality comprises all acquired aspects of man's thinking and emotions. Little I's are the building blocks of personality, programs are what the little I's run, singly and in groups. Buffers are separate groups of little I's, so that man can without being troubled or suffering cognitive dissonance behave in completely opposite ways in different circumstances.

All these things constitute personality. Personality is however necessary for esoteric progress but is not alone sufficient for it. In modern man, personality is generally developed at the cost of essence.

Essence is the set of capabilities or tendencies man is born with. Having one's center of gravity in the moving, feeling or thinking center is for example a part of essence. When man grows, essence guides the formation of personality but is generally left undeveloped.

The Work begins by shaping personality with the tools of self-observation, self-remembering and other methods. Essence as such is not readily accessible, hence work on personality is more practical and possible.

Sometimes the word false personality is used for personality when emphasizing its synthetic or anti-Work nature. Lying to self, pretentiousness, self-importance, subjectivity are for example attributes of 'false personality.'

and

The 4th Way teaches that man's so-called inner life is a chaos of multiple little I's, each pulling in its own direction. These are mechanical and we cannot speak of an immortal soul, rather we have a complex machine which only reacts and adapts to environment as a function of its innate and acquired tendencies.

Unlike other schools of thought that see man as mechanical, the 4th Way does not see this as a permanent or necessary condition, least of all as a desirable condition. Man is entrusted with a certain cosmic function and this is the call to evolve past mechanicity and to become a conscious assistant to creation. However, in order to respond to the call, man must become one, internally unambiguous and conscious. This entails the fusing of the multiple little I's into a real I.

The real I is not however a synthetic product of fusing little I's. It is something of a qualitatively different nature which may or may not exist as a potential in an individual. The 4th Way Work aims at creating internal conditions where the real I might manifest. This means creating internal cohesion and order but it would be wrong to say that a real I is simply an amalgamation. It is a part of a higher world which may take residence in man if the vessel is well prepared. In the parable of the coach, the real I is the master. The seat of the real I are the higher emotional and higher intellectual centers. The real I can be compared to soul, although the terms are not exactly synonymous. The real I can have free will as the lower components of the self cannot. We could say that if there is something unconditioned that may take place through man, this is the domain of the real I. No matter how learned, smart or capable man is, he remains a reaction machine as long as there is no contact with a real I. We could say that the Work only prepares the soil where the pre-existing real I can take root. It is thus that man can bridge between the world of matter and spirit. We may compare this process also with the Cassiopaean idea of alignment with a thought center or archetype.

Preparing the soil for the real I may also correspond to growing the higher being bodies as understood in the 4th Way. These processes collectively may transform man into something that can survive physical death and reincarnate if he so chooses.

The efforts of the lower centers do not create the higher. They are however necessary for preparing a place for it. This is somewhat akin to the eternal theological question of grace vs. merit.

When you read those you'll probably come across more words that might be new to you eg, all the centres and stuff.

DONT PANIC!

After some time, they'll all start making sense. Just take your time...

This is not the person I used to be (defiant, -John Thomas--sure, driven and ambitious).

After you do more reading, you will come to notice that this is not an entirely unique situation. They call it, Moral bankruptcy. Basically, alot of people out there feel like you used to do, indestructable, defiant and all this. That is because they worship the 'False Personality' and might be due to other reasons Eg, narcissism. After people come into this situation of Moral Bankruptcy they turn to esoteric work inorder to grow.
Here is what it says on the Cassiopedia:

This is Mouravieff's term for a turning point in life where one constates that the external life can no longer provide meaning to life. This may or may not take the form of a crisis in external life but the essential idea is that formerly held inner 'A influence' values of worldly success, romance, learning, career and the like suffer an irrecoverable crash.

To truly seek on the 4th Way, one should have gone through bankruptcy, losing one's fascination with the transient values of the world. This bankruptcy will generally also involve disillusionment and disappointment with religion, various occultism or other spiritual pursuits one may have thus far had.

This bankruptcy may be a catalyst for the extra internal honesty which is needed for one to fundamentally recognize one's mechanicality, the anarchy of little I's and other such features of inner life. Such a fundamental admission is necessary for practically benefiting from the practice of the 4th Way.

Excerpt from Gnosis, Vol 1, Ch. 1 by Boris Mouravieff:

As long as man, against all evidence, remains sure of himself and, even more, as long as he is satisfied with himself, he continues to live in the absurd and in consequential, taking his desires and illusions for reality. He must pass through a serious bankruptcy and a moral collapse, both of which he must have accepted and assimilated without seeking to cover them over. It is only then, when we start to search, that we discover the reasons for working on ourselves, and only then that we acquire the necessary force for doing so. This is true for all. There is only one exception: that of the just, for whom such work is a joy; as they are just, it is not necessary for them to pass through this phase of self discovery and bankruptcy. But who is just among us ? Who is even of good faith ? In one way or another we are all corrupted. Even though daily experience shows us the contrary, man thinks of himself as being of a certain importance. This opinion is the consequence of a deficiency in our judgement. In fact, we are all in the same boat. Even though men are different, for each one of us the total algebraic sum of our qualities and of our defects is nearly the same. We must not be under false illusions: the amount of this sum is not large. It is an infinitesimal and as such tends towards zero, which is death.

EDIT: You can also have a look at this: http://www.sott.net/articles/show/221040-Know-Thyself

 

[Vulcan59]

hi luke,

Just a note, any link to SOTT, Cassiopaea and related websites, need not be disabled. :)

 

[Adobe]

Hi Dez

Just wanted to say I have had basically this same dream for over a decade now, repeatedly, with varying situations. Sometimes alone and sometimes with a loved one.

Usually it’s an ocean wave. Sometimes it’s a mixture of pyroclastic and water. After a few years I started having dreams (also) of living in a time after “something” happened to all the population, and we few are rebuilding (uplifting dreams) both the disaster, and the reconstruction dreams are still running in my sleep time.

 

[Dez]

Hi Dez

Just wanted to say I have had basically this same dream for over a decade now, repeatedly, with varying situations. Sometimes alone and sometimes with a loved one.

Usually it’s an ocean wave. Sometimes it’s a mixture of pyroclastic and water. After a few years I started having dreams (also) of living in a time after “something” happened to all the population, and we few are rebuilding (uplifting dreams) both the disaster, and the reconstruction dreams are still running in my sleep time.

Interesting...I hope to get to the 'rebuilding' stage soon...

Just this evening I took a bit of a siesta and had another bizarro dream episode. They seem to be coming faster and more frequently now. I think the urgency of my life situation is really plaguing me. In any event, my dream just now:

I'm standing on a precipice...an overlook of the sea. Feels like the north-eastern coast of America...New England maybe...very majestic and awe inspiring. Deep blue ocean with fantastic waves crashing far below on massive rocks and boulders. Wind is in my face, but pleasant and exhilarating.
My mind is drifting to different places and I'm apparently resigned to hurl myself off of this cliff...I feel at peace. Very slowly I feel a presence...like someone was watching me. Then my shoulders began to feel 'warm'...I was really a bit frightened to turn around, but I managed to anyway. Now in front of me was a woman...I thought she was an angel...maybe my guardian angel...there to stop me from jumping. Yet, she had no 'wings' and, frankly, was not giving me 'angel' vibes.... She had on a white gown, very long brown hair and the deepest brown eyes I've seen. When she spoke it was like listening to a lullaby. It was the most soothing voice I'd ever heard. She reached and put a hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm..'sounded like, Chale'...(wasn't a name I'd ever heard before anyway)... and then she said, ...'...you're not to do this selfish thing. Only pain and love are true. You will soon deliver a message and you must be bright"....Now, I woke up and my heart was racing.
I DON'T have dreams like this...I'm a 42yo, former news reporter going through the worst time of my life! Was it something I ate? Was it a forum post I read somewhere? Am I losing my mind? Message? Who am I the Oracle of Delphi?....LOL.
It just get's curiouser and curiouser..... :/

 

[davey72]

Not that i am any more "awakened" than you are, but it sounds to me like a portent of things to come, and a warning that if you don't "awaken" you will find youself in the path of whatever this is.

 

[Dez]

Not that i am any more "awakened" than you are, but it sounds to me like a portent of things to come, and a warning that if you don't "awaken" you will find youself in the path of whatever this is.

It's possible that that's what lead me here....to become aware...or 'awakened'. I've already faced (facing) the greatest 'storm' of my life over the last 2yrs,...I'm tired of loss and misery. I concede that I need a guide or some direction to find purpose again. Bouncing around life not truly 'knowing' who you are is profoundly confusing to me. Finding out you're NOT who you once were is even more disturbing. It appears I've fallen for the programming over my lifetime and I can't recognize it yet, let alone confront and remove it.
This new project here all seems so vast and complex, I've having difficulty parsing and ingesting all of the information. My head is like a hive of bees trying to lasso all of it. I do hope I can 'wake up' before whatever this message is comes to fruition.

It just occurred to me that even this last episode has me looking OUT and away, like I was on the 1st dream. Luke pointed this out. Now I see a pattern. Are we all 'programmed' to look away at some point? Is this where we forget ourselves and our true nature of 'One'? Never thought at my age I'd be scrambling to 'find myself'....used to sound like a cop out...sort of 'hippie nambie-pambie'...(please forgive these references as this is the world I'm coming from)...yet here I am as lost as a soul could be. It's difficult for me to find the right words...and even context for that matter.
I began EE last night and believe it helped me sleep better last night. No new dreams...that was refreshing.
Thank you for commenting. I hope more here (including Laura) can offer their opinions, as well.

 

[davey72]

You can imagine the stress and depression I struggle with.

Have a look at this thread called Depression as a stepping stone(to soul growth)

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=2832.0

For more threads like that you can go to The work section and look under Important threads for the work.

You offer some very insightful opinions regarding my experience. Many of the terms you use are a bit unfamiliar to me (The Real I /False Personality) due to my current lack of knowledge in these matters. But I am truly interested in the pursuit of it. Perhaps you're correct in stating that I wasn't as focused on my life the way I needed to be and ignored many a signpost along this hellish highway I seem to be traveling. And, yes, perhaps my selfishness wasn't as apparent to me as I now, looking back, should have acknowledged.
I'm not sure what exactly brought me here to tell the truth. I feel adrift and wandering looking for redemption or rebirth...maybe both. It's as if my slate has been wiped clean. Is my situation as chance to start again or...a sign to fade away? My level of concentrated motivation is profoundly low....as if I'm waiting for something to happen...the 'other shoe to drop' sort of scenario. When I make an attempt at striking out on a positive foot, something disastrous seems to happen...so I, perhaps, unconsciously, decide to NOT make positive strides avoiding more loss...and pain. Of course, this complacency won't hold out much longer. Soon, I will have serious decisions to make that will draft the architectural plans of my future...or there will be a certain finality.
I believed I was stronger than I apparently am. I am lost and profoundly disconnected from any positivity it seems. This is not the person I used to be (defiant, -John Thomas--sure, driven and ambitious). To be Shakespearean-esque, ...the wind has gone from my sails and my eternal, internal-furnace has grown cold.
Thank you again for your observations and interpretations. I understand precisely the tack you're taking. I will reflect upon what you've offered and hope others might comment, also.

this seems to me to be a sign of growth.
perhaps :)

 

[Adobe]

Dez:

Sorry for the late response, but I’ve been traveling. “The lady” If you look it up in dream lore she is a common motifs. She not young nor old, ugly nor beautiful, but often described as wholesome and wise, perhaps ones higher self. I have seen her twice in reference to the new rebuilding era and once again only a few weeks ago.

In this latest dream I was leaving my house, home, village, etc but had to get or take care of something in the kitchen before leaving. She appeared and said. “You are not getting it...you are always trying to tend to something... the items in the safe, or turn off the gas on the stove, or shoes, children in the garden, but you never finish because there is always “something” to be done”. Then she stood directly in front of me and said all you have to do is wake up....wake up...then she leant over to my ear and said for the third time “wake up”. Then...dream over, I woke up.

Have I been more successful at waking up since that last dream...? No, I don’t think so, but I still struggle.

On a personal note, hang in there you are not the only one facing uncertain, and probably a “not fun” future.

 

[Dez]

Dez:

Sorry for the late response, but I’ve been traveling. “The lady” If you look it up in dream lore she is a common motifs. She not young nor old, ugly nor beautiful, but often described as wholesome and wise, perhaps ones higher self. I have seen her twice in reference to the new rebuilding era and once again only a few weeks ago.

In this latest dream I was leaving my house, home, village, etc but had to get or take care of something in the kitchen before leaving. She appeared and said. “You are not getting it...you are always trying to tend to something... the items in the safe, or turn off the gas on the stove, or shoes, children in the garden, but you never finish because there is always “something” to be done”. Then she stood directly in front of me and said all you have to do is wake up....wake up...then she leant over to my ear and said for the third time “wake up”. Then...dream over, I woke up.

Have I been more successful at waking up since that last dream...? No, I don’t think so, but I still struggle.

On a personal note, hang in there you are not the only one facing uncertain, and probably a “not fun” future.

Thank you, Adobe. I hope you're travels went well and best wishes on your future journeys. I still haven't figured out the message if my dreams, but yours sounds very similar. It almost feels as though we're all in a 'spiritual coma' and our subconscious is trying to 'wake ' us up. Only 2 nights ago I had yet another dream of fireballs in the sky. It was so vivid and felt so real. There are moments that I feel as though my 'work' here on earth is finished and I am just 'watching the clock', so to speak. I feel as though I no longer have a reason or purpose here...it's very disturbing to me.
I, too, hope to 'wake up' and find purpose again, yet the force of negativity seems to have a strong hold on me at the moment and I feel powerless to defeat it. Yet, as you suggest...I will try to 'hang in there'...