Energetic Drama in the office.

[Cyre2067]

I noticed something today with stark clarity, earlier i've mentioned in various places that my boss is very OP like. This morning i witnessed him actually feeding off my coworker, and i could not understand how previously i missed it.

Basically what occurred was a problem arose in our QCing of the new software, MJ addressed the problem to our boss and he retorted and maintained it was her dilutions (Her error) that was causing the problem. Mathematically MJ and I had figured out the proper formulation of these dilutions, so while my boss was ranting i was listening to his perspective in an attempt to objectively discover if his claim had any validity.

After analyzing his logic and rechecking our math quietly in my corner of the lab i confirmed MJ and I were correct and that his suggestion needlessly added an extra step. I could sense her frustration, and she calmly tried to explain our logic, all the while he was "yes yes yes, but..."ing her, not listening to her words, but rather waiting for his turn to interject.

His insistence and inability to listen to MJ was what clued me in, then afterwards her frustration was evident as she came over rubbed her temples, asking me if "Am i crazy?" to which i replied "no, i checked the math and we are correct."

This is a regular occurance, and now i see it for what it is. My boss, psychopathically insists on an incorrect conclusion that both MJ and I can see as incorrect, but which he believes with a fervor. The fact that he is our boss, and that the owner of the company likes him, force our hand into compliance with this insane logic. We follow our orders and he gets more "data" from which he can draw conclusions that make no sense.

How this continues ad infinitum perplexes me. His logic is flawed yet it persists. The cycle repeats and it seems the results of previous endevours are "forgotten" or "inconclusive".

The only consist thing i've noticed is that he will badger MJ and not me. She's been here longer, and yields to her own frustration more easily then i do. He also doesn't attempt to badger me in the same manner he does her, perhaps i do not yield the fruit that she does.

It is interesting to note, and i'm willing to bet that it happens in every office, in every company, exceptions being rare.

 

[Mark7]

It sounds to me like the guy might just be compensating for weak technical and software understanding with the advantage of being your supervisor. I suppose he could also be an organic portal, I do see a sort of feeding mechanism at work. The C's have said it takes alot of careful and knowledgeable observation, I certainly don't profess to be an expert. Is he married? Kids? Does he have any hobbies? Is he a stauch Republican, (bad sign I think). Maybe he's somewhat of an adaptive psychopath or even an essential one. Is that synonymous with being an organic portal? I think that is probably the case with essential psychopaths but I'm not clear on that myself. Maybe hes just a little being living in an sts world playing in the dirt and getting dirty. You are right though, most bosses I have come in contact with seem to be operating primarily with the r-complex, (reptilian portion), of the brain. Petty tyrants. As Carlos Casteneda's Don Juan said the predator gave us their mind.

 

[Cyre2067]

And just now we had a brief meeting in which my boss spoke much but said little. In fact, as a looked at a coworker across the table from me i was starkly reminded of students in a professors lecture who obviously not paying attention. I couldn't help but grin. For a half hour he spoke, but afterward i was at a loss for comprehension of any general idea that he was trying to impart. It's as if he began about one thing, linking it to another, and then cut off his connection to start a new thread, while attempting to maintain the illusion that he was still on the original topic. It was weird.

I also noticed he kept his focus on my coworker, MJ, giving others in the room occasional glances. Strange indeed.

He seems too imbecilic to be a psychopath, and often has seemingly no idea what is going on. He's not married, has no children, and from what i've gathered his primary focus in his life is his job.

 

[RflctnOfU]

In times like those, just remember: "the grass is green, the sun is warm, the grass is green, the sun is warm, the gra....." :)

My condolences, Cyre. I think that DippyDog's suggestion, as regards compensation, could be quite true. I had a "similar" experience, although the dynamic was somewhat different. In 2001, I had gone back to college (undergraduate) to get back into the groove of the music world. -- An aside: My first time in college, according to my private instructors (trumpet), I was on a path to the top of the orchestral world. My father passed away half way through my second year. I then transferred, from FSU, to Indiana U. My fathers death caught up to me, and I "cracked". I put down the horn for three years. -- So, as I was getting my feet wet again, so to speak, I was asked to be in the Faculty brass quintet. During a rehearsal, the trumpet instructor there who was "1st" trumpet in the quintet --I was not studying with him (his playing wasn't inspiring to me) , as I was taking lessons with the local orchestra's principle trumpet, with whom I had also studied as my HS years were finishing-- was working on a section of a piece with the Tuba and french Horn, trying to get things to line up. The whole of this part of the rehearsal, he was rushing - ie getting ahead of the others. After they had worked this section by themselves for about 6 or so times, I then played my part. I was right in time with the Tubist, who was laying down a solid tempo. Now to the "point". The first trumpet leaned towards me and "informed" me that I was behind the beat. I replied that it sounded like he was ahead of the beat. (A colleague--hmmm college, colleague--happened to be listening in on the rehearsal and confirmed, later of course, that the prof was in fact rushing). Then this is where the dynamic happened. He leaned forward, and said, very slowly, as to assert DOMINANCE, NO YOU ARE BEHIND THE BEAT.... I can remember to this day feeling, and commenting on said feeling, like two pit bulls staring each other down. Being the pacifist that I am, I "tucked my tail between my legs", and proceeded to rush with him.

Now, you may be wondering why I "challenged" the professor. During the first performance I had given with this faculty quintet, the tubist gave a speech to the audience (High schoolers) that ALL opinions, including the students (ie 2nd trumpet), were valid and shared. I tucked that away in my "files", so to speak. I had never voiced my opinions out of "respect". On this day, however, my opinion was such a blatant "fact", that I couldn't keep it to myself. The interesting note, is that while this dynamic was happening, the other faculty, I sensed, wanted to back me up, but didn't wanted to embarass "thier" colleague. Ever since that day, this "professor" of trumpet and I don't really get on that well. I suspect he holds some resentment, at least in part, because I have replaced him as the first "call" substitute/extra for the regional (local) symphony orchestra. Of course, that only happened after I was no longer attending the University.

So, back to the point, you have my condolences Cyre. Huge ego is very hard to deal with, and also very uncomfortable.

Kris