It was my birthday this past weekend, and while I had a good time, made an awesome paleo cake that was enjoyed by all, I had a bit of a relapse last night while out with my friends. I drank a fair amount alcohol. It's tempting to try and "rationally mitigate" my actions, but I'm not gonna do that. I had too much and ended up hugging the toilet for quite a while. I'm quite thankful to my body for making the call to put me through that while I was too inebriated to remember much of it, else I'd have to deal with a lot more than feeling groggy and having a headache all day today.
It did get me thinking today though about how I've been with my health and body up until now, while contemplating that I've learned the lesson that "alcohol has a negative effect proportional to amount consumed", but have yet to master the more difficult corollary: "no alcohol always has an optimal effect". I generally do eat well, but there are occasional slips, still too much coffee (it's hard :( ) and I haven't done a proper elimination yet either. I also remembered that last night one of my friends asked me what is my plan for the year and where I'm headed. I didn't really have any straight answer for her, and thinking over this I realized I didn't have one for myself either. Objectively, it was as vague for me as I was to her, the only difference being that I have neat and tidy words to use that I understand, like "The Work", "Knowledge Input and Application" and "Being a Good Obyvatel. It's not that I haven't been doing that, or that I'll stop, but rather there hasn't been much of a direction or specific focus in relation to my development.
When I decided to move out in December, the motivation at the time was largely based on that I wanted to work on and understand my emotional center, and couldn't do that around my parents. I've been my new place, living alone, for just under two months now, and it's been quite refreshing to have silence and darkness when I choose. I'm calmer, managing the frustration I feel when I do interact with my parents better, and doing a bit better with external considering in general. Even work (job) is pretty good, the side-project I started during the holiday season that I've been doing in "spare" time is "official" now and will benefit the people closest with the most. I've also learned things from it that outside of my job description as a developer, branching into a bit system support and admin, and generally makes me "valuable to the company" which will be useful during my next biannual performance review (might even get promoted, though technically I'm already doing work that's above my pay grade so it wouldn't be all too special; I just want to better my chances). I'll also have some degree of continuous responsibility for keeping it maintained and up to date, or at least laying down that framework to make it as easy as possible more as many as possible.
So emotionally, I'm doing OK at the moment and not going through anything difficult enough to really get in the way or bring me down. And since I'm always reading, analyzing, and doing other intellectually-centered things, that leaves me the moving-instinctive centers, or body and habits, which is where I'm now going to try and focus my efforts towards, as my Aim for the year. I'm approaching it more generally than that though, and rather think of it as Work on the Physical Aspects of Life, not just in relatively static things, like my body, but also action, doing "physical" things, like writing more often (I've noticed I do a lot more of the "mental" component to "writing" ;D ). I've also been advised, both on and off the forum (and by myself) to "get of my head", so I think it's quite befitting. Daily living-space and maintenance and prepping are also included, the thing I need to work mainly being getting the former done more efficiently to make more time for the latter.
For a while it's been feeling like I'm constantly changing direction, or asleep to the fact that I have none at the time, so this time I really want to stay committed to focusing on the simpler things and de-emphasize pursuits on the theoretical and abstract stuff, which come pretty naturally to me. I guess the bottom line is knowledge not applied is useless.
It did get me thinking today though about how I've been with my health and body up until now, while contemplating that I've learned the lesson that "alcohol has a negative effect proportional to amount consumed", but have yet to master the more difficult corollary: "no alcohol always has an optimal effect". I generally do eat well, but there are occasional slips, still too much coffee (it's hard :( ) and I haven't done a proper elimination yet either. I also remembered that last night one of my friends asked me what is my plan for the year and where I'm headed. I didn't really have any straight answer for her, and thinking over this I realized I didn't have one for myself either. Objectively, it was as vague for me as I was to her, the only difference being that I have neat and tidy words to use that I understand, like "The Work", "Knowledge Input and Application" and "Being a Good Obyvatel. It's not that I haven't been doing that, or that I'll stop, but rather there hasn't been much of a direction or specific focus in relation to my development.
When I decided to move out in December, the motivation at the time was largely based on that I wanted to work on and understand my emotional center, and couldn't do that around my parents. I've been my new place, living alone, for just under two months now, and it's been quite refreshing to have silence and darkness when I choose. I'm calmer, managing the frustration I feel when I do interact with my parents better, and doing a bit better with external considering in general. Even work (job) is pretty good, the side-project I started during the holiday season that I've been doing in "spare" time is "official" now and will benefit the people closest with the most. I've also learned things from it that outside of my job description as a developer, branching into a bit system support and admin, and generally makes me "valuable to the company" which will be useful during my next biannual performance review (might even get promoted, though technically I'm already doing work that's above my pay grade so it wouldn't be all too special; I just want to better my chances). I'll also have some degree of continuous responsibility for keeping it maintained and up to date, or at least laying down that framework to make it as easy as possible more as many as possible.
So emotionally, I'm doing OK at the moment and not going through anything difficult enough to really get in the way or bring me down. And since I'm always reading, analyzing, and doing other intellectually-centered things, that leaves me the moving-instinctive centers, or body and habits, which is where I'm now going to try and focus my efforts towards, as my Aim for the year. I'm approaching it more generally than that though, and rather think of it as Work on the Physical Aspects of Life, not just in relatively static things, like my body, but also action, doing "physical" things, like writing more often (I've noticed I do a lot more of the "mental" component to "writing" ;D ). I've also been advised, both on and off the forum (and by myself) to "get of my head", so I think it's quite befitting. Daily living-space and maintenance and prepping are also included, the thing I need to work mainly being getting the former done more efficiently to make more time for the latter.
For a while it's been feeling like I'm constantly changing direction, or asleep to the fact that I have none at the time, so this time I really want to stay committed to focusing on the simpler things and de-emphasize pursuits on the theoretical and abstract stuff, which come pretty naturally to me. I guess the bottom line is knowledge not applied is useless.
