Green_Manalishi
Jedi Master
Hi everyone.
I would like to try to discuss and tie a couple different subjects. I do not know if I will be able to express myself correctly, since I think I have a hard time making a coherent text when I try to convey my ideas, opinions, etc.. This is among the chief causes that keeps me from posting more in this forum, because it really takes me a fair amount of energy to try and make a comprehensible text. That and the idea that most of the times I really don't have anything of value to add to a certain discussion.
Recently I continued to read “In search of the Miraculous”, after a hiatus of three months (between I reed other stuff). The ideas that I paid most attention, this time around, were the ones connected with self-observation and self-remembering and special heighten emotional states, as opposed to the explanation of cosmoses and ray of creation (which I can't really get my head around).
Then when I had a training on my company, me and my job co-workers all sat there listening to a guy talking. That was when two situations present to myself. The first was when the trainer asked me if I liked his tie (I don't even remember related to what, but in a break the ice fashion). The tie had a couple of sea manatees drawn on it. I liked it, it had a peaceful aquatic mammal drawn on it, was out of the ordinary, different. I made an awkward face and said half laughing, “not really”. I only responded that because I was certain that, that was the majority of the opinions in the room. My own thinking process was completely taken away from me in seconds in order to conform to the norm, something that I don't make much effort to do.
The other situation was when the trainer asked for the shortest and tallest person to stand up. He said it would be a close call between me and another of my co-workers. I responded jokingly that it might be my co-worker that was shorter, and immediately after that, I mean seconds, the real cause for me saying that popped in my mind – I didn't want to be considered the shortest person in the room. How sad and stupid is that kind of mentality, I really felt almost disgusted in my own skin. They were so childish, this two reactions of mine.
My main questions are, could it be that just by reading the book, that knowledge sipped into my mind and, this way I was able to see those two faults? I ask this because, as you know, Gurdjieff always stated that nothing can be achieved without the company and guidance of someone who “is” more than you. Or this kind of observations of our machine are really a little speak of the amount of work that the Work is, and can be more or less apprehended just by reading the concepts of the 4th way?
And know I feel that I can spot better this little and pathetic I, and kind of lock him in a cage, but beyond that I don't known what to do with it.
I would like to try to discuss and tie a couple different subjects. I do not know if I will be able to express myself correctly, since I think I have a hard time making a coherent text when I try to convey my ideas, opinions, etc.. This is among the chief causes that keeps me from posting more in this forum, because it really takes me a fair amount of energy to try and make a comprehensible text. That and the idea that most of the times I really don't have anything of value to add to a certain discussion.
Recently I continued to read “In search of the Miraculous”, after a hiatus of three months (between I reed other stuff). The ideas that I paid most attention, this time around, were the ones connected with self-observation and self-remembering and special heighten emotional states, as opposed to the explanation of cosmoses and ray of creation (which I can't really get my head around).
Then when I had a training on my company, me and my job co-workers all sat there listening to a guy talking. That was when two situations present to myself. The first was when the trainer asked me if I liked his tie (I don't even remember related to what, but in a break the ice fashion). The tie had a couple of sea manatees drawn on it. I liked it, it had a peaceful aquatic mammal drawn on it, was out of the ordinary, different. I made an awkward face and said half laughing, “not really”. I only responded that because I was certain that, that was the majority of the opinions in the room. My own thinking process was completely taken away from me in seconds in order to conform to the norm, something that I don't make much effort to do.
The other situation was when the trainer asked for the shortest and tallest person to stand up. He said it would be a close call between me and another of my co-workers. I responded jokingly that it might be my co-worker that was shorter, and immediately after that, I mean seconds, the real cause for me saying that popped in my mind – I didn't want to be considered the shortest person in the room. How sad and stupid is that kind of mentality, I really felt almost disgusted in my own skin. They were so childish, this two reactions of mine.
My main questions are, could it be that just by reading the book, that knowledge sipped into my mind and, this way I was able to see those two faults? I ask this because, as you know, Gurdjieff always stated that nothing can be achieved without the company and guidance of someone who “is” more than you. Or this kind of observations of our machine are really a little speak of the amount of work that the Work is, and can be more or less apprehended just by reading the concepts of the 4th way?
And know I feel that I can spot better this little and pathetic I, and kind of lock him in a cage, but beyond that I don't known what to do with it.