Friendship

[Marina9]

I've been thinking a lot about the meaning of this word in the past days, since im starting to distance from my "friends" and trying to find the real meaning. Now days i think it's a term that has been corrupted, such as love and other type of relationships.

What are your thoughts on this?

What will be the real meaning of friendshio for you guys?

 

[riclapaz]

Hi marinarm2890, I think when the awakening process begins, many things that were shared with friends are lost, anyone who is identified with what this world is, should be seen as our enemy, but do not do it intentionally, we always jalaran to do or live as normal people I am not personally have many friends, more well known, the times we had together, deal that time, for them and for me as pleasant as possible, be collinear, would help rather, to preserve and strengthen a friendship, as you mention, I think friendship is like love, it takes time to meet people, patience, responsibility, honesty, commitment, care, etc. I think the Bible says something like this: Whoever finds a friend, finds a treasure.

 

[obyvatel]

In its rightful form, friendship is a relationship which is relatively non-hierarchical and less susceptible to possessiveness. Many other relationships, which may not have started as friendship, but which grow deeper and stronger with time, start displaying the qualities of friendship. Healthy husband-wife or parent-child relationships for example can mature into beautiful friendships. This is only natural as the etymology of the word "friend" in various languages can be traced down to indicate "to love" and "to join". To form and sustain true "essence" friendships, one necessarily has to sacrifice a portion of one's egoism. More someone can give up egoism, more space is created for friendships.

Most of the above pertain to friendship in its ideal form. Such friendships are more likely to be formed in cases where stable shared values form the connecting factor for the relationship. However, stable shared values are not common in today's world. What brings people together more often are shared interests. Interests are often transient; and as they change, so do friends. Sustained interests can lead to sustained friendships - but if such interests are not anchored in some deeper values, the friendship remains at a shallow, superficial level.

All the mature ways of self development I have encountered are unanimous in their verdict : real self development is accompanied by increased connection with others. And from practical descriptions of such connectedness it becomes clear that the relationship involved is predominantly one of friendship.

 

[Chu]

... and, from a more down-to-earth point of view with practical examples, I think that this describes it pretty well:

_http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Friend

_http://tinybuddha.com/blog/25-ways-to-be-a-true-friend/

It has to be mutual, of course. And ideally, with a common goal in life, but not necessarily as long as there is respect.

 

[Keit]

What will be the real meaning of friendshio for you guys?

I like Aristotle's view on friendship.

Aristotle’s opinion was that friends hold a mirror up to each other; through that mirror they can see each other in ways that would not otherwise be accessible to them, and it is this (reciprocal) mirroring that helps them improve themselves as persons. Friends, then, share a similar concept of eudaimonia [Greek for “having a good demon,” often translated as “happiness”] and help each other achieve it. So it is not just that friends are instrumentally good because they enrich our lives, but that they are an integral part of what it means to live the good life, according to Aristotle and other ancient Greek philosophers (like Epicurus). Of course, another reason to value the idea of friendship is its social dimension. In the words of philosopher Elizabeth Telfer, friendship provides “a degree and kind of consideration for others’ welfare which cannot exist outside.

It can also be inspirational:

 

[Marina9]

In its rightful form, friendship is a relationship which is relatively non-hierarchical and less susceptible to possessiveness. Many other relationships, which may not have started as friendship, but which grow deeper and stronger with time, start displaying the qualities of friendship. Healthy husband-wife or parent-child relationships for example can mature into beautiful friendships. This is only natural as the etymology of the word "friend" in various languages can be traced down to indicate "to love" and "to join". To form and sustain true "essence" friendships, one necessarily has to sacrifice a portion of one's egoism. More someone can give up egoism, more space is created for friendships.

Most of the above pertain to friendship in its ideal form. Such friendships are more likely to be formed in cases where stable shared values form the connecting factor for the relationship. However, stable shared values are not common in today's world. What brings people together more often are shared interests. Interests are often transient; and as they change, so do friends. Sustained interests can lead to sustained friendships - but if such interests are not anchored in some deeper values, the friendship remains at a shallow, superficial level.

All the mature ways of self development I have encountered are unanimous in their verdict : real self development is accompanied by increased connection with others. And from practical descriptions of such connectedness it becomes clear that the relationship involved is predominantly one of friendship.

I agree with what you say, it has been "difficult" in some sort of way without me feeling guilty of not sharing the same stuff as i did with them years ago, but in the other hand its sort of a relief knowing i will find more people with same interests, and very important, healthy people for my life, we are know surrounded by friendships with interests or very toxic people sometimes...

 

[Marina9]

... and, from a more down-to-earth point of view with practical examples, I think that this describes it pretty well:

_http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Friend

_http://tinybuddha.com/blog/25-ways-to-be-a-true-friend/

It has to be mutual, of course. And ideally, with a common goal in life, but not necessarily as long as there is respect.

I think respect is one of the most things i see lacking in our days, im finding out that instead of judging people i am accepting the way they are and maybe i don't feel comfortable with them, and that is good. Being acertive has been sometimes a struggle in this topics, but as im being more acertive its also making me more happier with my decisions. :D

 

[Aliana]

I've been thinking a lot about the meaning of this word in the past days, since im starting to distance from my "friends" and trying to find the real meaning. Now days i think it's a term that has been corrupted, such as love and other type of relationships.

I remember a time when I was having a difficult time being around friends that I had for years, because I realized they had no interest in most of the topics that we discuss here and on SOTT. I felt a real disconnect and for a time I felt myself distancing from some of them. However, over time I realized that we still had some shared interests and a long history of being close and sharing important things in our lives. And that ultimately made me realize that those relationships were worth continuing. That said, of course there are those people who you may realize are so ensnared in the world of "A influences" that being around them is now draining - and you may have to make difficult choices as to whether the relationship is worth the effort.

13. Accept the person as they are, as an individual, without conditions. Also, as important as it is for you to be there for them, sometimes you have to be willing to let them be there for you. (Casey Kimes)

14. Remain friends despite a person’s choices in life and don’t bail on them when they aren’t who you want them to be. (Kim Shaw)

I thought the above were two good examples of what it means to be a friend, even though many of our old friends aren't moving in the same direction we are.

 

[Kisito]

In its rightful form, friendship is a relationship which is relatively non-hierarchical and less susceptible to possessiveness. Many other relationships, which may not have started as friendship, but which grow deeper and stronger with time, start displaying the qualities of friendship. Healthy husband-wife or parent-child relationships for example can mature into beautiful friendships. This is only natural as the etymology of the word "friend" in various languages can be traced down to indicate "to love" and "to join". To form and sustain true "essence" friendships, one necessarily has to sacrifice a portion of one's egoism. More someone can give up egoism, more space is created for friendships.

Most of the above pertain to friendship in its ideal form. Such friendships are more likely to be formed in cases where stable shared values form the connecting factor for the relationship. However, stable shared values are not common in today's world. What brings people together more often are shared interests. Interests are often transient; and as they change, so do friends. Sustained interests can lead to sustained friendships - but if such interests are not anchored in some deeper values, the friendship remains at a shallow, superficial level.

All the mature ways of self development I have encountered are unanimous in their verdict : real self development is accompanied by increased connection with others. And from practical descriptions of such connectedness it becomes clear that the relationship involved is predominantly one of friendship.

As Aristotle said in "Nicomachean Ethics" If two children are friends, and when they become adults, one is a great thinker and the other is concerned with mere talk, how can they remain friends? Friendship is mainly based on interests. Often we keep our childhood friends because of nostalgia (es pleasures of the past). We must not deny these old friends, for they who made us. But be aware ahead and discover new friends.