Gluten, msg and my family.

[Skipling]

This is just a wee question, but I am greatly concerned about the long-term welfare, health-wise, of my extended family. Pretty much all of them think me a bit of an oddball at the best of times, and this is a reputation that hasn't been enhanced by my psychological problems, which, criminally for me, has robbed me of my credibility.

I'm not sure how to broach the subject of the dietry issues. My parents are in their sixties and pretty much as stubborn as mules, but I am also concerned about my niece and nephew. My brother struggles for money and I don't think he's in any way interested in my philosophical view, which is coloured pretty much exclusively in the hues of all that I have found from this fine family here. My nephew is very much stuck with a learning disability, and I am worried about him and my niece because I don't think they're getting decent clean, quality food. A change of diet could help my nephew in particular but all my family could really do with the help. But....inertia and stubborness, not to mention a curious resistence to all things Skipling related (I used to be a bit on the preachy side...own goal I know... :()

I am genuinely worried about all of their physical and mental health problems, because I've seen each of them in pretty foggy states over the last few years, and before, so I've been thinking that It would probably be all that I can do to print out some of the most pertinent articles on the dangers of the main culprits in the food chain (gluten, soy, dairy) and, I dunno, just let them casually reside on a coffee table or two? (should be a green tea table mind... ).

I mean, it's their lives, but I'd be devastated if I lost any of them, but some intimations of this sort have come through on the meditations, particularly a few months ago.

It's a case of is the Horse thirsty, isn't it?

 

[theos]

I am genuinely worried about all of their physical and mental health problems, because I've seen each of them in pretty foggy states over the last few years, and before, so I've been thinking that It would probably be all that I can do to print out some of the most pertinent articles on the dangers of the main culprits in the food chain (gluten, soy, dairy) and, I dunno, just let them casually reside on a coffee table or two? (should be a green tea table mind... ).

I don't think that there is anything wrong with a few articles on your coffee table. (I stress your coffee table. It wouldn't be externally considerate to leave articles on someone else's table.) Maybe if your family sees the way you eat and asks questions about it you could tell them why but don't let it turn into a lecture. If they are truly interested they will pursue the information more.

This happened with me over the weekend. My cousin was in town visiting and said to me, "I hear you're on some special diet. What exactly is wrong with gluten anyway?" I told him and we happened to be in a room full of people so it turned into about a 10minute discussion. He ended up asking me to send him some articles. Some of the other people in the room said they could understand, were dismayed that what they are told is healthy really isn't but only my cousin asked for more information. It's still up to him what he does with it.

I know it is sad to see so many people suffering physically and mentally when they really don't have to but everyone has their own lessons to learn.

 

[doublea1535]

Skipling,

I'm not sure how to broach the subject of the dietry issues

What about inviting them over for dinner? You could prepare a healthy meal to share with them. That could be an opportunity to mention some (maybe just one) of your diet choices. Personally, I would probably go with gluten. Here in the states at least, gluten sensitivity has become somewhat trendy and it seems pretty safe to talk to about; without getting any odd looks from people.

It's a case of is the Horse thirsty, isn't it?

I think the best you can do is let them know the water is there, and even then only if they care what you have to say. If they are willfully resisting to think about the things you bring up with them, if they don't want to hear what you think, then by insisting you are violating their free will.

 

[brog]

In my experience, unsolicited advice makes someone less likely to change in that direction, and often results in them moving the opposite direction. I remember when I was younger my parents would often give me unsolicited advice on things that were obvious to me and which I was already working. Instead of motivating me more, this would take away from my motivation because I felt they were in a way taking ownership of the change. It was no longer an act of free will for myself, but a change forced upon me. They had also taken a lot of the credit from me if the change was successful.

I think the most effective way for you to change your family's eating habits is to be prepared to provide new knowledge and experience without infringing upon their sense of free will. Know the info and show them the benefits of the alternative through your own life.

 

[Laura]

In my experience, unsolicited advice makes someone less likely to change in that direction, and often results in them moving the opposite direction. I remember when I was younger my parents would often give me unsolicited advice on things that were obvious to me and which I was already working. Instead of motivating me more, this would take away from my motivation because I felt they were in a way taking ownership of the change. It was no longer an act of free will for myself, but a change forced upon me. They had also taken a lot of the credit from me if the change was successful.

I think the most effective way for you to change your family's eating habits is to be prepared to provide new knowledge and experience without infringing upon their sense of free will. Know the info and show them the benefits of the alternative through your own life.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I learned early on, both through my own reactions, and raising 5 children, don't give unsolicited advice. And even if it is solicited, soft-sell is always good, making it clear that their choices are their own. Just share what you do, what you have experienced.

 

[RedFox]

In my experience, unsolicited advice makes someone less likely to change in that direction, and often results in them moving the opposite direction. I remember when I was younger my parents would often give me unsolicited advice on things that were obvious to me and which I was already working. Instead of motivating me more, this would take away from my motivation because I felt they were in a way taking ownership of the change. It was no longer an act of free will for myself, but a change forced upon me. They had also taken a lot of the credit from me if the change was successful.

I think the most effective way for you to change your family's eating habits is to be prepared to provide new knowledge and experience without infringing upon their sense of free will. Know the info and show them the benefits of the alternative through your own life.

Couldn't have said it better myself. I learned early on, both through my own reactions, and raising 5 children, don't give unsolicited advice. And even if it is solicited, soft-sell is always good, making it clear that their choices are their own. Just share what you do, what you have experienced.

Exactly. Another excellent way to share what you are doing is to practice what you'd prefer to preach and BE the best example you can be of all the changes you implemented. Then you might get the odd question....."how come you never get sick?" "you're looking really healthy, what's you're secret?" "you seem so successful at life" etc.....and just drop the odd bit of information with you're own personal account.
What tends to happen is that the more you improve you're life, the more people come into it that are actually 'looking' for help to improve theirs.
Family is always painful.....but you need to consider a few possibilities. One being that they are not ready to learn yet what you have. The other (and this is most painful) is that some of the people in you're life may be headed the other way, that they are on a learning curve towards entropy/sleep.
That is not to say that it isn't painful to see....it's actually extremely painful, but rather than try and buffer that pain by 'trying to change there lives for the better' change your own and be a lighthouse for change (whilst feeling the pain of others suffering)....instead of being STS and 'forcing' others to change (blocking out the pain of others suffering or martyring yourself to that 'suffering').

If you are not yet strong enough to feel that pain, then that is a clue you need to focus on healing your self more....

This is just a wee question, but I am greatly concerned about the long-term welfare, health-wise, of my extended family. Pretty much all of them think me a bit of an oddball at the best of times, and this is a reputation that hasn't been enhanced by my psychological problems, which, criminally for me, has robbed me of my credibility.

Having suffered from similar problems to yourself I know what you mean when you say that....but it boils down to the same thing. You are looking to change outside perceptions/influences in order to buffer something internally. When you can face your internal wounded with calmness, compassion and patience and spend the time with them to heal yourself.....then you can face others 'views' of you with the same understanding.
The views of outsiders should not be the ruling element of your internal state, but be your guide in how you practice external considering around others.
fwiw

 

[Skipling]

Thanks all for your replies.

Basically, from observation, I don't think any of them really want the upheaval. While I was enjoying a mackerel salad the other day, I casually remarked to my mother "so, you're not really up for joining me on this gluten-free thingy?", and this is my way, my method. I often use self-deprecating humour to raise a possibly interesting idea, just to see if I can pique someone's interest. There was a whiff of laughter in my voice as it raised the question, but not so much that it would guide the response. Anyway, my dear Mam just chuckled and replied, "NO!", with her usual air of jovial relaxation.

I've mentioned the benefits of omega 3 to my brother's partner in relation to my nephew, and indeed he is a very happy cat when he gets some mackerel (I think it should help him with his eczema too..). His mum's a nice girl and is prepared to listen to a bit of gently conveyed advice.

I'm not one for "bull in a china shop" tactics, apart from a period (strangely enough.....) in the years prior to my nervous breakdown when I was obsessed with talking to any and everyone about the subject of UFO's. I absolutely had to know! And I could not understand why other people were so dismissive and apathetic, but I've learned an extraordinary amount since then, comparitively.

Hmmm, as always with me the lessons seem grim, but the message contained within is indeed good. Continue to practice external consideration, and proceed with good humour, and with subtlety.

Thank you all for your replies. I was beginning to think that maybe I was being a littletoo muted on the subject when I was witnessing the bill of fare in people's kitchens.

Their choices are their own.