Re: grand thoughts & sleep
Alright. So I realise this is almost completely annonymos and I realize that I can't spell that. However.. that is irrelevant. Please forgive my spelling, It's friday and a couple of friend and I have had a few drinks and they have gone to bed ! leaving me all alone with my confusion about the sleep I had last night . Amongst many nights. Alright, I guess I should start at the beginning? I have had many dreams where I'm falling.. usually this is while I first fall asleep. It became more frequent.. as I would have them in what I thought was deep sleep. Then, realizing I was completely aware as I was dreaming, I began to attempt to control these falling dreams. I began to fly.. in my dreams. AT first... it would be a sad attempt.. and I would plummet to the ground and this was REALLY scary and VERY real.. and then right before hitting the ground I would awake. The weird part, was that just as I was about to fall I was like trying to tell myself and make myself wake up. Anyways.. it has gotten to the point. that although that seemed very scary at first.. it turned into something really cool , becaus enow, I can control my dreams=almost. sometimes, when Im dreaming.. I simply say alright Im going to fly .. and often Ive attempted to fly around the world.. other times Ive attemptd to fly deep into space (this resulted in a terrible end. lol) most of the time, I cant hold onto thte feeling and its almost like Im so close to waking up during this state that the awake state of my mind takes over and I just wake up. this is extreemly dissapointing because the flying is a lot of fun . I wish I could fly in real life. Anyhow.. more often lately Ive actually felt the transition between awake and asleep... it feels like... well this sound echoes in my head... "VVVVHHHHHHHHHOOOOME" and it kinda feels like that too. its really freaky. and I think when i was a little younger.. or even months ago at random times, i can say ive fallen down stairs in my dreams and the feeling is triggered because of the feeling you get when you actually literally fall into sleep. that is confusing and may not make sense.. but hell i tried! anyways.. last night and acouple of other nights but MAINLY last night in particular... I can ACTUALLY pin point the moment that I fall asleep.. like I am completely and utterly aware as I sink into sleep. last night it scared me and I awoke and I didnt want to feel it again so i tried to keep my eyes open ... and then sleep took over and it happened again and I awoke abruptly because it scared me.. the feeling tha tI was ACTUALLY falling .. like I could feel it in my body. and so I thought.. well if im going to do this im going to go somewhere nice. and I invisioned my highschool hallways becaus eI thought.. well that might be fun- and plus at a state of exhaustion its the first thing that came to mind. so I thought of my highschool hallways and pictured them and then VOOOOOOOOOOOM I was there. there are other times when Ive fallen asleep,,, been dreaming.. and think, in the dream, id like it to be summer hwen I go outside, cause at the beginning of the dream its snowy out, and then when i go out the doors its grassy and green. but only if i REALLY REALLY make it happen. its hard to explain. are there any other people who feel the same way ?
Another rare occasion was several months ago, when I had this CRAZY spiritual dream.. mind you, I dont believe in A god.. however I also dont have all the answers. Anyways.. it was this weird "thing" that needed to "talk to me" and.. it turned out I was doing gracefull summersaults in the bluest of skies (as if from a sattelite, you know how you can see the blue of the oxygen in the earths atmosphere?) well i was flying PERFECTLY in that, and there was this ENORMOUS golden/white light that made me feel really, really good. it was kind of blissful, amd reassuring.
anyhow... I was wondering if anyone knows WHAT THE HELL is going on with this ... becaus esometimes Im afraid to fal asleep.. even though the experience is so verrrrry real and cool sometimes.
often i also have dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams.. that is to say, I will have a dream and in that dream I will awake and be like that was a strange dream but still be in another dream ... it gets very confusing. WHAT IS GOING ON! ive looked up things on the internet but I have found nothing...
I realize Im a lucid dreamer,, but to this extent ? like to be aware of the complete transition from awake to asleep? No one I know so far has experienced this.. and its kind of over whelming.
please... help me understand.
