Greenhorns

[Ominous]

My daily habit since about July of last year is to hop on this forum and peruse...I began posting on it myself sporadically, whenever I felt I had something to say. Like most newcomers, I felt the sting of a forum veteran's criticism. My particular rebuke came after I'd posted a topic which had already been discussed in detail. I did get angry at first, then realized this forum operates like no other. It is meant to be efficient, economical, and to the point because sharing knowledge is serious business. Time-wasters, show-offs, and endless speculators are not welcome and are usually run off with tails between their legs. Having said that, I've noticed a pattern in many newcomers: they post a lot until they run into a disagreement with a "vet;" then they get offended and either disappear or (like me) take it in stride and come back after a deliberate re-reading of forum rules. Must be part of the whole learning process...

 

[Telperion]

My daily habit since about July of last year is to hop on this forum and peruse...I began posting on it myself sporadically, whenever I felt I had something to say. Like most newcomers, I felt the sting of a forum veteran's criticism. My particular rebuke came after I'd posted a topic which had already been discussed in detail. I did get angry at first, then realized this forum operates like no other. It is meant to be efficient, economical, and to the point because sharing knowledge is serious business. Time-wasters, show-offs, and endless speculators are not welcome and are usually run off with tails between their legs. Having said that, I've noticed a pattern in many newcomers: they post a lot until they run into a disagreement with a "vet;" then they get offended and either disappear or (like me) take it in stride and come back after a deliberate re-reading of forum rules. Must be part of the whole learning process...

Yes I agree with your thoughts, some people on here can come across as blunt or just plain rude but a person who is truly seeking knowledge will not be put off so easily. The rules are what they are and those who value this site will take it all in stride I suppose.

 

[Craig]

Yes I agree with your thoughts, some people on here can come across as blunt or just plain rude but a person who is truly seeking knowledge will not be put off so easily. The rules are what they are and those who value this site will take it all in stride I suppose.

I agree. I'm gathering you edited your post in the other thread - telling Donald to "eat me" - after reading the rules?

 

[Telperion]

Yes I agree with your thoughts, some people on here can come across as blunt or just plain rude but a person who is truly seeking knowledge will not be put off so easily. The rules are what they are and those who value this site will take it all in stride I suppose.

I agree. I'm gathering you edited your post in the other thread - telling Donald to "eat me" - after reading the rules?

Yes I sure did - but of course my vulgar statement was totally unprovoked, I must be a raging psychopath.... And actually the original post was deleted by a moderator, I wanted to thank Ottershrew for his or her book suggestion so I reposted minus the childishness.

The fact of the matter is people who are new to this forum should not have to fret and worry about being run off by those who are full of themselves and on some kind of intellectual power trip. If you want to give constructive criticism, do so in a matter that befits speaking to other adults otherwise keep your opinions to yourself. If someone speaks to me like a child, I will return the favor.

 

[anart]

Yes I sure did - but of course my vulgar statement was totally unprovoked, I must be a raging psychopath....

Telperion, this sort of sarcasm and aggression is unwarranted.

And actually the original post was deleted by a moderator, I wanted to thank Ottershrew for his or her book suggestion so I reposted minus the childishness.

The fact of the matter is people who are new to this forum should not have to fret and worry about being run off by those who are full of themselves and on some kind of intellectual power trip. If you want to give constructive criticism, do so in a matter that befits speaking to other adults otherwise keep your opinions to yourself. If someone speaks to me like a child, I will return the favor.

Actually, Telperion, the fact of the matter is that people who come to this forum with a high level of self-importance almost always end up where you are right now. Consider, for a moment, that DonaldJ meant absolutely no offense at all by his statement and that it was simply a statement of fact. This is likely the case - however - you read it as if he was being snide and sarcastic (a trait you have demonstrated yourself) and became so offended that you responded like an angry child.

That entire response of yours was based on a faulty perception of exactly what DonaldJ meant when he wrote what he wrote.

People who are this easily offended have very high levels of self-importance and, due to this, find themselves offended quite often by all sorts of situations and people (whether or not the situations or people objectively warrant the offense or not).

Your post was removed by a moderator, and since you are new here, you were not banned. Other forum members have been banned in the past for less.

If you are sincere about learning and about being active on this forum, then you need to make a decision about whether or not you can control your emotional reactions to things. It may be very difficult for you to do this, but if you so choose, you will undoubtedly learn a lot about yourself. If you would prefer to not interact on this forum; if your self-importance is more important than other things, then you are free to move along to another forum where sarcastic and aggressive posts are allowed. I personally hope you choose the former, but if not, that is fine too.

 

[Laura]

One of my favorite stories is about the young fellow who wanted to study with a certain yogi hermit in Tibet. (Told by Alexandra David-Neel). Anyway, he journeyed over mountain and valley, forded rivers and climbed rocks to get to the hermit's cave. The hermit's attendant told him to sit and wait until the hermit sent for him. Well, he waited years... and finally, the hermit sent for him and told him that he had to be willing to pay the price...

People are not willing to pay even the smallest price - the price of their self-importance and silliness and lies to and about the self. That's all we ask here: that you come in sincerity, behave cleanly, and have a burning desire to connect and learn.

That's it.

Is it too much to expect?

 

[Ominous]

*Que "Twilight Zone" music* It was in fact Telperion's "Eat me" post that inspired me to start this thread. I have massive respect for those here whom I term "forum vets." It's obvious from reading their posts that they've put in the time & have much to offer us "Greehorns," IF we can empty our cups. I find it a welcome relief to come to a place like this on the internet, that is so stringent yet accommodating. I've never seen a moderator be rude or malicious to anyone. More like blunt and to the point. The people who react to criticism in a negative manner aren't prepared to be honest about themselves and the real reason why they're here. Its all about the lessons,

 

[Telperion]

Yes I sure did - but of course my vulgar statement was totally unprovoked, I must be a raging psychopath....

Telperion, this sort of sarcasm and aggression is unwarranted.

And actually the original post was deleted by a moderator, I wanted to thank Ottershrew for his or her book suggestion so I reposted minus the childishness.

The fact of the matter is people who are new to this forum should not have to fret and worry about being run off by those who are full of themselves and on some kind of intellectual power trip. If you want to give constructive criticism, do so in a matter that befits speaking to other adults otherwise keep your opinions to yourself. If someone speaks to me like a child, I will return the favor.

Actually, Telperion, the fact of the matter is that people who come to this forum with a high level of self-importance almost always end up where you are right now. Consider, for a moment, that DonaldJ meant absolutely no offense at all by his statement and that it was simply a statement of fact. This is likely the case - however - you read it as if he was being snide and sarcastic (a trait you have demonstrated yourself) and became so offended that you responded like an angry child.

That entire response of yours was based on a faulty perception of exactly what DonaldJ meant when he wrote what he wrote.

People who are this easily offended have very high levels of self-importance and, due to this, find themselves offended quite often by all sorts of situations and people (whether or not the situations or people objectively warrant the offense or not).

Your post was removed by a moderator, and since you are new here, you were not banned. Other forum members have been banned in the past for less.

If you are sincere about learning and about being active on this forum, then you need to make a decision about whether or not you can control your emotional reactions to things. It may be very difficult for you to do this, but if you so choose, you will undoubtedly learn a lot about yourself. If you would prefer to not interact on this forum; if your self-importance is more important than other things, then you are free to move along to another forum where sarcastic and aggressive posts are allowed. I personally hope you choose the former, but if not, that is fine too.

I hear and respect what you're saying however my response really has nothing at all to do with any delusions of self importance on my part. I respond well to certain types of interactions, not so well to others. Being easily offended can have many different emotional sources. In any case this direct assessment you have given me actually works for me, it is constructive and goes right to the heart of the matter. I responded to DonaldjHunt(sp?) they way I did because I felt his remark about my post was overly condescending. My "eat me" remark was meant to be flippant, not hurtful, but I see that here on this forum this type of language/banter is not appreciated and I respect that. In any case I have respect for this forum and I have re-read the rules. This will be my last post regarding this issue.

 

[anart]

I hear and respect what you're saying however my response really has nothing at all to do with any delusions of self importance on my part.

When you learn what self-importance is, in the context it is used here, you may want to recant this statement.

I respond well to certain types of interactions, not so well to others.

This is self-importance and identification. It is alright that you do not perceive it as such right now, since you have yet to understand how such things affect all of us pervasively, but that does not mean it is not so.

Being easily offended can have many different emotional sources.

This is true, however, the reaction of 'being offended' is always rooted in self importance. Your insistence that this is not the case makes it more clear that it is the case.

In any case this direct assessment you have given me actually works for me, it is constructive and goes right to the heart of the matter.

This is an interesting statement, considering the preceding statements.

I responded to DonaldjHunt(sp?) they way I did because I felt his remark about my post was overly condescending.

That is because you heard 'your voice' speaking his words and interpreted it through your own distorted lens.

but I see that here on this forum this type of language/banter is not appreciated and I respect that. In any case I have respect for this forum and I have re-read the rules.

I hope this is the case, but we shall see.

This will be my last post regarding this issue.

This is an attempt on your part to control this conversation - to define its limits. That also does not 'fly' here - no offense intended, it is just that people tend to want to 'end conversations' that reveal things upon which they most need to work.

 

[Mikey]

This is a quote from Adventures with Cassiopaea. I think, it is relevant for the issue at hand:

We began to realize, slowly at first, that a person could have psychological issues, and still be oriented to service to others. They could also be oriented to serving self. By the same token, a person could appear to have no disabling psychological issues at all, and be completely oriented to serving the self. We began to learn that closing our ears to the words that other people use to beguile us, and observing only the actions was the key to discernment.

 

[Third_Density_Resident]

Is it just me, or is there a certain irony in Telperion using only bold in his "last post", which includes the words: "my response really has nothing at all to do with any delusions of self importance on my part"??? I would have thought that using bold in that context was quite unnecessary. (Then again, I could be over-analysing.)

 

[Ominous]

It's ok for one to disagree and discuss...but, to paraphrase a wise man, "Only (the Dark Side) deals in absolutes." If one isn't even OPEN to considering their own deficiencies, then WHY are they HERE? Certainly not to learn, because true learning demands humility & objectivity, neither of which can suffer self-importance.