My son and I visited my parents this past thanksgiving day. They`ve been in the nursing facility for a year and a half now. They are receiving excellent care. My Mom`s dementia is a lot worse, but she`s still "happy go lucky". My Dad was alert and doing well considering all his health issues. He gets upset when my mom doesn`t remember who he is, other times she thinks her deceased mother and siblings are close by. I just let her think that and try to convince my dad to do the same, kind of like playing a game so she doesn`t have to experience the pain each time when he tells her that they died years ago.
In reading the above, a memory surfaced that has been buried for about 20 years.
We had experienced a heavy snow fall and the school's and many business's were closed. I had called off from work, to be home with my Son's, then 5 and 9 yrs.old. After breakfast, they decided to play with their leggo's on a table next to the livingroom picture window. I went out to clear the snow from the car and shovel the driveway up to the main road (about 2 car lengths). My Son's watched from the window and in about 20 minutes, I was back in the house. In changing from the wet clothes, noticed a small pebble had fallen on the floor when I slipped off my boots. A small scratch was bleeding above the ankle area on the left foot, so decided to take a quick shower and apply triple antibiotic creme to the cut with a bandaid. Never gave it another thought.
That night, suddenly awoke to a sensation of something hot traveling up my spine with an internal popping sound going off in my head. I sat up and felt awful sick. When I went to check on my Son's who were asleep in their bedrooms, a feeling came over me that 'something was really wrong." I called my Ex- Husband and asked if he could come and watch our Son's, I needed to get to a hospital. Within a short time, he was at the door. He woke up the boys, got them dressed and we went to the emergency room.
In the emergency room, the experience was surreal. I couldn't give the Doctor's a specific reason why I was there - other than - I felt deathly sick. Upon examination, the small cut on the left leg had turned into a big black spot, larger than a quarter. One of the doctor's with a Russian accent litterly yelled at me - for taking so long to get medical treatment - yet it was less than 24 hrs "before", that I had gotten the cut from the pebble in the boot. Neither of the Doctor's would believe me! I was told, "I had gangrene, it was spreading and they would try to save my leg." (At the time, I didn't know what gangrene ... was? Never even heard of it.) Next thing I remember, two surgeons were introducing themselves and giving me a prognosis and what to expect in a worse case scenario. None of it felt real. Unable to schedule time in an operating room, they set up a cloth tent in front of me and administered something extra in the IV. They took a big chunk out above the ankle and scraped the bone, hoping to save the leg. In the end, they did save the leg. The whole incident has always felt like a "flash" was inserted into my life, that didn't fit in with normal everyday progression of my life? A freak incident without a natural cause.
On the 9th day in the hospital, my Father visited me. Problem is - my father died when I was 11 and now I was almost 40. Hospital staff had just collected the breakfast trays and you could hear them in the hall. As I layed there, my mind was pre-occupied with my son's, for I missed them terribly. I sensed someone came into the room and when I looked up, my Father was standing at the foot of the bed. It didn't startle me, for it felt completely natural. We made eye contact and while I searched for words to say something, my chest area took on a deep feeling of warmth. Mentally, I heard the words, "not yet" and when I looked up again, my Father was gone. There was a certain feeling of hurt, for I didn't get to tell him that I still loved him very much, yet, the warm penetrating feeling lingered on for several more days. Even now, I can envision it and it still feels - very real and natural. There was a bending of realities.
The following day, with the hope the Doctor would release me to go home, he opted for another day. I just wanted to go home - right then and there. The food looked like lab specimens and you could never get more than two hours sleep at a time, for they were always checking temp or blood pressure or doing blood work or getting you out of bed for one thing or another, even during the night. The women who shared the room with me had been administered Last Rights and the nurse's where always in and out, checking on her. That evening, after visiting hours and they began dimming the lights, a nurse came in, completely reorganized the sheets and blankets on my bed. Without saying a word or even making eye contact, she went about her business and then went to the next bed. There was something about the nurse that seemed different, in some way, yet nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than, she wore a nurse's white cap. When she left the room, she closed the door. I felt so comfortable, I dozed off into a deep sleep. I awoke just as they were bringing in the breakfast tray. I couldn't believe, they let me sleep through the whole night. I inquired about the nurse that had come in to get us settled for the night but was told - that my description didn't match any of the nurses on night shift, nor was it mandatory for them to wear the nurse's cap. But good news, Doctor had signed the Release Form and they were scheduling a visiting nurse to change dressings. As the nurse and my Ex-husband were taking me to the elevator in a wheelchair, Code Blue went over the PA system. Staff and equipment were being rolled into the room I had occupied. I can only surmise, the woman in the bed next to me, passed away.
Nancy2feathers, what your mother is experiencing ( she thinks her deceased mother and siblings are close by ) may seem very real to her. With the "thinning of the veil' and the mental effects that dementia (living in two realities) manifests, it may be a possibility? So much of our world has yet to be discovered. We have a better idea of densities now, then in times passed, including Laura's and Ark's work in the field. Also, I would imagine, medications may play a large part in "spitting of realities." So, it's hard to narrow down an exact cause. In the example I gave above, medication and ill health may have played a major role in what I had experienced. But the timing of certain events around the experiences - makes me wonder if something has been inserted or if it's a natural flow of events through cause and effect? I have had several odd experiences, before and after this gangrene event where no medication was involved. Yet, they all seem very real and physical. Maybe, on a mental level, they are made to feel real?
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross did some interesting studies on dying and death. She also ventured into checking into certain diseases and their effects that mimic near death visions. I remember reading something on Dementia and Coma victims in some of her studies.
Both of your Parent's seem to have adjusted well to the nursing facility and are getting around the clock quality care which is beneficial. Reducing the stress level is a definite plus.
Mod's note: Edited to fix the quotation boxes
