help please

[Ady_H101]

Today at work the system we use to input orders / check stock was being updated at 3pm and being a sales advisor that ment i had no work to do. I have access to a printer so i decided to print off the latest connecting the dots article as a way to pass the time and also to inform myself on the latest developments that are occuring on the BBM. Anyway i printed it off and everything was fine untill, as i was reading said article, one of my work colleagues shouted out 'ok so whos being printing off fireballs, the CIA and mass vaccinations' and i froze! a little bit of background on me, i keep myself to my self i do a good job and no one has a problem. I dont take sides in office polotics and i dont really converse ( because unless ur into the tennis, britains got tallent and the death of michael jackson theres very little to say really but the girls in the office are very tight and are always going to each others houses and know each other very well.... one could almost call it a cult ahem) so i had to step up and say it was mine. I dont have ANY work friends for the same reason, the whole situation is very much mainstream and it always has been. So there i was accepting these 2 pages ( which i already had in the initial print out so i have no idea where they came from ) and trying to laugh it off as a bit of light reading. Anyway the girl who had read it out said it was fine as another girl had printed out her myspace page the other week so there was no harm in that but i knew i had sparked some kind of 'office gossip'. As i went to drop off this month prices in the Business Managers trays i knew the convo had turned to me. After this i went to the toilet. Upon my return all eyes were on me ( and i mean seriously on me..... wild west kind of bar scene on me ) and the room was silent...... I just carried on reading . As finishing time occured i said good bye to the girls and they humoured me and said goodbye aswell but i know there was something different in the way they said it. You can call me paranoid but i feel on monday things are going to be alot harder. I know they have a very mainstream idea of how things are ( even tho they have just taken a paycut as have i because of what has been said in these articles and others on SOTT ) and i know they are going to think i am very much, well , an extremeist i guess because of the little they read. i have to stress im a loner at work and so i dont really talk to them ( i am incapable of it!!!! this needs to be stressed! im honest with my family and friends but not when im at work so far as my beliefs are concerned and i never could be because believe me pitch forks will be branded.... my manager sent me a film of an indian boy being electrocuted to death by a train power line.... and thought it was the funniest thing SHE had ever seen ) unless its work related. i can see this being some kind of platform of being a patse, a loaner with radical ideals ( nervous lols). I maybe over stressing the situation but i feel like an outed Smith from 1984. So im lost and in that environment im alone...... i dont often ask fo anything really but at the moment im at a loose end...... and i know i am going to get alot of comments saying i am over reacting to this and ive tried to reason with myself that its all going to be fine but im not so sure and fighting my corner on these issues has never been successful ive been beaten before on these kind of issues ( some guy broke my finger for talking about 9/11 and my reasoning and memory skills are too weak for debate ) and my arguing skills are almost non existant...so what do i do now?

 

[Joe]

Hi Ady, I don't want to say that you are over-reacting, because you may not be. But I also think that there is a good chance that the situation will not turn out as bad as you expect. If something IS said to you on Monday, then your reaction will probably play a big part in how it goes from there. Basically, what I would suggest you do us to respond to any comments by making light of it with a short comment like "yeah, that was really weird article!!" If somone asks you where it came from say it was just forwarded to you and a bunch of other people.

 

[Beau]

Perhaps it would be wise to start being less introverted at work and humor your colleagues whenever the typical "water cooler" conversations begin? You don't have to be interested in these topics to discuss them, it just makes you fit in more with the average Joe. Being a "loner" has its drawbacks in that people will fill in the gaps when it comes to who they think you are and what you are up to, so to speak. In order to keep the general law at bay it is smart to act like every other sleeping individual when around them. This is what Gurdjieff referred to as playing a role. This is not done to ingratiate yourself into their company or to try and be liked by others, but to make sure you do not allow for any kind of attacks in response to reading alternative news.

As far as the printout of the CTD goes, I would say the best bet would be to brush it off if anyone mentions it and say it was something you stumbled across that sounded interesting and you wanted to pass the time. Maybe even make a joke about how crazy some people are, in reference to the article. Being very serious about it and attempting to share the info could create more problems than you believe, but also remember that you don't want to be seen as a recluse or hermit either. Going out and joining in the occasional idle chatter is good for a strong strategic enclosure. OSIT.

 

[mada85]

I think Perceval and Pinkerton have given some very sound advice here. I would like to add that for purposes of maintaining one’s strategic enclosure it’s useful to have a passing knowledge of popular culture and the weather. As you’ve noted, the majority of people will think you’re weird, and ostracise you, if you get on your soapbox and start being really serious about the end of the world (that is how they’ll see it!). I’ve found that it’s much better to start off a conversation (at least here in the UK) with the latest weather news – us Brits love talking about the weather

i can see this being some kind of platform of being a patse, a loaner with radical ideals

And this is what you really don’t want, especially since you’re in the office every day.

Perceval’s suggestion is very good:

Basically, what I would suggest you do us to respond to any comments by making light of it with a short comment like "yeah, that was really weird article!!" If somone asks you where it came from say it was just forwarded to you and a bunch of other people.

And then, if the ‘Dots’ article triggers a new thought in a colleague’s mind, they might come and ask you about it.

Hope this helps.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Ady,
In every situation I've seen where there was a working relationship between people in close spaces and there was a loner type who kept to themselves, an incident such as what you described might have been perceived as an opportunity to know something about you. That could go in at least three directions: as something to talk about with you to get to know you, something to talk about with others, or possibly something that might help to further categorize you.

Remember the saying "God works in mysterious ways"? If you replace the word "God" with the "Organic Universe", or the forces of STO or something similar, perhaps you could see it as an opportunity taken to 'flash' something before certain people's eyes. Maybe one of them will forget about it. Maybe one will not be able to get it out of their minds and will go on to wake up. Maybe another will take an opportunity to accelerate along the STS path. Who knows how it will turn out? Maybe you could smile and let yourself enjoy a "moment of helping".

Other than that, I echo other members advice to keep the strategic enclosure and 'play it off'.

Is there a regular member of your environment who represents a constant threat of physical violence to you?

 

[Ady_H101]

First of all i have to thank for all your replies to my post. I was in quite a state when i wrote it and did very much crawl back inside myself after posting it. My loserism ( if thats a word ) did kick in once again as i dont really like to discuss myself in intimate terms . I dont know if thats something i need to work on but i am quite private, at the time this forum and the individuals involved were the only ones who would have understood what i was going through. At this time i just want to state i came through the whole situation unscathed infact this week at work i had quite a good time over all there were no signs of any bad feelings towards me which makes me think i may still be the reaction machine i have always been dispite all the things i have learnt from sott and this forum...food for thought indeed... thought i will certainly work on it.

Percival - you were right in what u said i read your post and went in with a feeling that i had done nothing wrong ( which let face if i hadnt) and it played out very well, there were some new applications on the new system that had been implemented over the weekend and being kind of computer savvy i was able to help all the girls log onto the new system which was an ice breaker so i even tried to blend into the conversations they were having ... it didnt work too well and soon i was sidelined as always because of my total lack of knowledge in the fields they were talking about but it certainly didnt hinder me and i kept it going all week so again Percival and Pinkerton your advice helped aswell... ill never lose my loner image not as ive been in my job too long and i just dont have the need to interact with people so badly i would try and connect myself to mainstream views but even the weather can be a useful stepping stone so again thank you for advice i have all week being trying to talk as much as i can and so far as i can to connect with my work colleagues. ( and on that note i must say i have not even mentioned the article as i understand doing so could only lead to difficult situations.... if someone asks me about it i understand sharing info with some who is open would be acceptable but no one has )

I do understand what u are saying mada85 and it does very much interlock with Percival and Pinkertons way of thinking. Your advice about sounding extremist was quite close to my heart and believe me there is no chance of that as i know the amount of information that is needed to be assessed before you can even begin to make a judgement on the work and the world, its almost unreachable. It has taken me 3 years just to know what i know now and im not even ready to contribute to this forum full time let alone preach to others about what they should be doing so dont worry about that... i wont talk about it unless im asked my opinion on something ( and even then it would need to be in an honest and open forum ). But again i really do thank you for your advice! ( lol we really do like to talk about the weather huh!?!)

And Buddy i must thank you aswell. Again i think i understand what you are saying ( i can never be sure though of course ) and i would truly hope for some feedback after a very pleasant week at work though i think they have all forgotten about it now. Maybe im wrong and one of them will surprise me but alas i dont think so. Ill keep you informed though.

Again thank you for you replies they really did help me get thought a tough time and i hope to repay them in kind. At the moment i am going thought the process of getting a far infra red sauna bag and im going to try the health shake as a starter to try and get my memory back and do some detoxing aswell so this whole situation has only served to as a benefit!


ETA... Buddy ive re read your post again and again and if your right in the consiquences of a simple 'printing error' are correct then that adds a whole new meaning to the situation...... i know there are things happening that are bigger than outselves but to think that one incident could have such ramifications on things.... it really does make you wonder tho i have to say ive seen no evidence of it.

 

[Buddy]

[quote author=Ady]
...i came through the whole situation unscathed...
[...]
At the moment i am going thought the process of getting a far infra red sauna bag and im going to try the health shake as a starter to try and get my memory back and do some detoxing aswell so this whole situation has only served to as a benefit![/quote]

It's good to hear you're feeling better!


[quote author=Ady]
ETA... Buddy ive re read your post again and again and if your right in the consiquences of a simple 'printing error' are correct then that adds a whole new meaning to the situation...... i know there are things happening that are bigger than outselves but to think that one incident could have such ramifications on things.... it really does make you wonder tho i have to say ive seen no evidence of it.[/quote]

The possibility that was mentioned was offered as one possible interpretation out of many such possibilities. There may never be any way to know for sure, but it often helps to have ways of looking at things that puts some space between ourselves and our troubles. :)