how to bring the subjet of psychopaths to their potential victims?

[mkrnhr]

Helle, I don't know if this topic has been discussed before, I just didn't find it so forgive me if I repeat it here. Some people are not open to such consideration that to consider others as possibly psychopaths. For example I know a woman whos ex boyfriend is continuing to exploit her and to manipulate her. I've tried the analogy of vampirism but it doesn't work. People who have been trained in schools and universities are very often intelligent, smart but with a closed mind into what they have been taugh to believe. Well, my question is : how to explain the issue of psychopathy to such people who may be defined as intellectually rational and possibly closed to metaphysic discussions?

 

[the rabbit]

Well, my question is : how to explain the issue of psychopathy to such people who may be defined as intellectually rational and possibly closed to metaphysic discussions?

Well as has often been said here, one should not give an explanation to those who are not asking.

If one is in the company of a friend who is distraught and so on, and who is asking "Why"? The possability is then there to ask the friend if they would like to hear your thoughts on "Why"?

I remember in my youth a friends sister was in a relationship with a very violent and overly jealouse man, he would hit her from time to time. One evening my friend asked his sister if she would like him to sort this man out,he also told her that there was no point in doing anything if she was going to go back with him the next day.

So nothing was done. And the method he was thinking of would not have been a good way to go anyway.She later on, of her own doing , was able to break away from this man.

 

[vinny]

maybe at some level, the victim often already knows.

for example, the most common immediate reaction I have seen to members of the public who read/pick up a "Psychopaths rule our world" flyer, is a kind of laugh of recognition: "oh, that's so true".

also, a book such as 'In Sheep's Clothing' (George K Simon Jr) is VERY good for explaining 'covert aggression' those who are not so esoterically inclined, but who are looking for ways to deal with manipulation in their lives.

 

[anart]

Also, sometimes the word 'psychopath' is a trigger 'turn-off' due to the very deliberate definitiion, spread far and wide, that psychopath means mass murderer. So, perhaps, if you are asked in the future, you could introduce the idea that this person clearly cannot feel empathy - and go from there. No empathy, no compassion, no learning from past mistakes, no ability to understand how their current behavior will negatively affect the future, no depth of feeling or understanding of significant emotional situations - and you're looking, at the very least, at psychopathic behavior.

the rabbit and sleepyvinny are correct, though - of course, 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'.

 

[Tigersoap]

It may not be the best advice but I lended my "Sociopath nextdoor" book to a friend who could not see the abuse he was subjected to and it suddenly made sense in his head.
That obviously can't be applied to every person.
It might be worth a try though.

 

[Amanecer]

I use quotes when it is appropriate;

"The great mass of people ... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one."

Adolf Hitler , Mein Kampf, vol. 1, ch. 10 (1925).

"If one lies long enough and eloquently enough, people will disbelieve what they have seen with their own eyes" (I can't remember the source of this one,)

The C's say that knowledge protects. You can't make a horse drink the water, but if there is no water there to drink when he needs it, he will die.

 

[mkrnhr]

the issue is finally more complex then what I thought. Some people can be under "the spell" of a manipulative person, but until they awake by themselves they cannot see your warnings!! So if I understand well, the best thing to do is to give some "lectures" via books as subtle clues that may make the person think about its situation and how to escape, and we cannot really help only if the person understands the matter and asks for help. do I undestand well :| ? It to sad to be in such situations, I'm a boy and it is still hard to me to escape to those psychopathes entering my life, even if I begin to understand (I guess) some aspects of their interaction with us. It is worst to those who don't know of this issue :(

 

[Mr_Bateman]

If I may suggest something...

If your friend doesn't believe in the metaphysic stuff, don't use it.

Convince her with examples of his past behaviour. Individual actions may not seem so bad, but when you string a few together it should be possible to paint a convincing picture. Add a few questions along the lines of "what sort of person thinks like this?" and you should be able to build a convincing case.

 

[the_hammer]

I don't think there's any woman on this planet who wouldn't react negatively to this kind of pressure. I think the normal reaction to this would be to turn her back to her real friend, who has the guts to tell her the truth and thereby be even more caught in his claws. If she can't see the subtle clues such as you handing her a book, I'm sorry to say it, but then I simply don't think she is ready for the truth about her relationship.

 

[OzRich]

Also, sometimes the word 'psychopath' is a trigger 'turn-off' due to the very deliberate definitiion, spread far and wide, that psychopath means mass murderer. .

Yes, I had this problem quite often.
This days I use the word 'psychopath' after some elaboration on the subject. I usualy say something to this effect: "...this kind of behaviour is actually recoknised by modern psychology/medicine as psychopatic", and then I lend them "In sheeps clothing" or any other book on the topic from my little library. It works pretty well. People get more interested as they read from professionals.
By the way, my neighbour (with couple of degrees), said after reading 'Ponerology': "...this is the most well written book I have ever read in my life, it has reaffirm my faith in scientific thought"

 

[piranah]

very very hard to convince others of the presence of a narcissist or a psychopath. believe me I have tried and I have failed. Unless you have concrete evidence and even then if they have formed a relationship with this person they will be under their spell. they may choose not to see or not want to give up their reality. Nobody believes in psychopaths until they murder or start to break down and expose themselves. Most of them are integrated into society. i knew a social worker that was a psycho or at least borderline. she had power over many families and their children and whilst on the surface she played by the rules she was carefully implementing her own moral code and she knew how to dot i's and cross t's so that the clients did not have a leg to stand on. surrounded by intelligent people yet no one could see what was happening. also I worked with a policeman who was very similar and very dangerous man. very charming attractive man who used his position to bully and threaten others. The trouble with these people is they know just where to draw the line so they rarely get caught or held up to the light.

 

[purplehaze]

Post him on one of the online databases like Playersandpsychos.com -- don't say it was you.

Send her the link.

But ultimately she will have to learn for herself.