'I am here now'

[Aiming]

I'd like to share the following with you all - not that I think it's a good piece of art, but prior to and while writing it I was having an intense emotional release.

It is alright
Don't cry my little girl
I am here
I am here now
I see why you did the things you did
You didn't know
and I wasn't there for you at the time

Now I am crying
hurting for you
So sorry I haven't been there for you all this while
I hurt for you
But I am here now
and I'll take care of you
I am here now, holding you
I'm so sorry that I never understood you before
I love you.

The earth is crying
and so am I
I've never seen you before
always denied you, shoving you away
although it was you all this time,
it was you carrying that seed of love
you crying out for me to look at you and listen to you

But I was deaf, I was deaf and I was blind
my heart frozen up
I was mistaking the bad for the good
and the good for the bad
living always in the dark
despising myself
while thinking others did

But I've found you now
I'm feeling you.
Embracing you

Thank you
for opening that door
and keeping it open for so long
until I was ready
to dare and step inside.

 

[Risen]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem. :)

 

[Gertrudes]

Thank you for sharing that Enaid.
That seemed to come from somewhere deep inside, as if an emerging you were talking to, seeing and embracing the you that you had been. Like the turning of a new page in life :)

Edit:grammar

 

[ana]

Thank you for sharing that Enaid.
That seemed to come from somewhere deep inside, as if an emerging you were talking to, seeing and embracing the you that you had been. Like the turning of a new page in life :)

Edit:grammar

Yes, sounds as acceptance, reconciliacion and healing

 

[Nawd]

Beautiful!

For me it sounds as though the inner child is calling out to the grown up one, while the grown up child is calling to the inner one.

Very moving Enaid. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing that Enaid.
That seemed to come from somewhere deep inside, as if an emerging you were talking to, seeing and embracing the you that you had been. Like the turning of a new page in life :)

Edit:grammar

Yes, sounds as acceptance, reconciliacion and healing

 

[SolarMother]

That's beautiful, Enaid. Thank you for sharing that.

 

[3DStudent]

That was nice, thanks for sharing Enaid. :)

 

[Aiming]

For me it sounds as though the inner child is calling out to the grown up one, while the grown up child is calling to the inner one.

Very moving Enaid. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing that Enaid.
That seemed to come from somewhere deep inside, as if an emerging you were talking to, seeing and embracing the you that you had been. Like the turning of a new page in life :)

Edit:grammar

Yes, sounds as acceptance, reconciliacion and healing

Thanks for your comments. You're right, it really felt like some sort of merging, healing, acceptance, something from deep inside. Those feelings just suddenly came over me; there was lots of pain coming up, and along with it some sort of understanding I've never had before, which brought up feelings of liberation and some sort of joy, as if I'd reunited with a long lost part of myself. All those things I'd long been carrying around with me, that tight shell around me, it seemed to be melting away, and the theoretical knowledge of 'I need to stop identifying with that negative introject, I need to forgive myself, stop judging myself and truly accept all that I was and am, and dispose of that self-rejection'... well, on that day, I felt all this. Even though this is subjective, I do feel a little more whole since then. And what a huge difference it is from 'knowing' something intellectually and then actually feeling it.

Don't know what else to say. The 'poem' I shared here is really raw, but as real as it was. And I'm glad I have friends with whom I can share this. Thank you.